I am 4 weeks pregnant! We have been trying for over a year and are beyond overjoyed. I am praying fervently for a sticky baby and would greatly appreciate any more thoughts/prayers that anyone can spare, but of course everyone has a lot to be praying for right now.
I AM SO EXCITED FOR YOU!!! This is something I've always been interested in trying, myself. If you want to talk more about how you did this I am all ears!
I'm gonna put these in order from littlest triumph to biggest triumph:
-- Yesterday we cleaned our kitchen and living room very well, vacuumed and everything. It's sometimes hard for me to make time to deep clean regularly when I'm not on my normal schedule.
-- It's been almost 2 weeks of this stuff and Husband and I have done a really good job of being excellent to each other. We are one of those disgusting couples that Almost Never Fight anyhow, but two people WFH in a small apartment and never seeing anyone else in person and never having an excuse to go somewhere alone for a while will test the strongest bonds.
-- On a similar note, on April 11, he and I will celebrate five years since our first date, which is its own great accomplishment. Since we would normally go out for a nice meal or do a weekend away, our usual venues for celebrating are not available. What should we do instead? Suggestions?
-- ON SUNDAY I WILL SUBMIT MY DISSERTATION TO MY COMMITTEE. It will not be the work of amazing genius that I had always envisioned because I have made very little progress during the Recent Unpleasantness but it will be a dissertation and it will be complete.
It's so hard, friend, so hard, and in my case I had gotten in the very firm habit of always doing chores A, B, C on Saturdays and X, Y, Z on Sundays and since we're all like "TIME IS A FLAT CIRCLE" now I just... hadn't... done it...
I wish you every success in making your house the refuge you deserve in this time!!
Ok, so, dissertations are never as awesome as we'd like them to be. We all fall short of our own expectations. But you did the most important part, you amazing person! You are submitting it to the committee and I can assure you it is WONDERFUL. So much better than you think it is. I haven't even seen it and I can promise you that: I've been through the process, and I've held my friends' hands through theirs (as people held my hand and sanity during mine). It's wonderful and you're amazing. CONGRATULATIONS, MH!
His name is Pax. He's a 1.5-year-old black lab missing his back right leg. was rescued and treated for his broken leg and heartworms and fear and who knows what all by the org that also rescued the dog we adopted ~6 years ago, and we tried to adopt him TWICE and showed up moments after someone else had applied to adopt him, but he got brought back twice because he was destined to be our dog. We are all madly in love. Our grumpy girl dog follows him from room to room and he adores my husband despite many warnings that he's fearful of and doesn't warm up to men. I wish I could show you all 1,000 pictures. (I sent some to Nicole last week!)
<3 <3 <3 A colleague of mine also has a tripod lab (though he's a mix) and he is the BEST dog so with that single piece of anecdata I am very excited for you.
I already bragged about it last time but you SAID you wanted to hear: I defended my dissertation!!! My committee said nice things!!!
Another win is that Season 2 of My Brilliant Friend came out and I didn't love the first episode but I DID love the new title sequence, I'm excited for another couple months holed up with these vicious idiots <3
Not so much a triumph as just nice news, but I'm currently expecting (terrible timing state-of-the-world-wise, but what are you gonna do?) and we finally shared the news with our families this weekend. I've been feeling very blase about the whole thing, but their excitement and happiness were really sweet :)
I get to see my mother today! She is in an assisted living place that has been on full lockdown for - 3 weeks now? Time means nothing. Anyway, I usually see her once a week. The extremely sweet and on-it staff has started setting up visits where your person is inside by a window, and you are outside with a phone, and at least you can see each other. My mother is 90 and getting very drifty, but she knows family and I think it will help her to see us. I am reassured that she is somewhere safe, and the staff adores her, because as other things fall away she is becoming pure love.
My mother is also on lockdown in assisted living, but they have no good way to set up window visits. So we have to make do with phone calls. She's 85 and has dementia, so she drifts a lot these days. They take very good care of her and seem to appreciate her still being a smartass. (Typical response to "How are you doing today?" is "Anyone I can.")
Here in northern Florida we at the public defender's office have been working double time to get eligible clients out of jail and thanks to unprecedented cooperation from the sheriff and the state attorney's office we have gotten 150 humans out of there in the last week. That's my good nugget for the day.
I have a phone interview for a job today! It's just the initial phone screening but the RELIEF of just having even one person get in touch after the flurry of applications I sent out.
Joni Mitchell warms my cold dead heart, and The Last Waltz is...everything. If anyone wants to talk about the Sad (Probably Very Gay) Heartbreak of The Band please let me know.
It has been very genuinely great to hang out so much with my dog and my gf's cat, who is very particular and tends to show his displeasure by biting. The cat let me pick him up (!) yesterday and it feels good to know we're friends now (having been housemates since September). AND the cat and the dog willingly sat butt-to-butt this week!
A miracle: my tax return came much earlier than I was expecting, so I had money to send to dear friends leaving a bad situation. I am also making good on my goal to dress like a mean anime woman in 2020, and I have a slutty dress coming in the mail today. Very excited.
thank you so much; i realized that i have the shape going on to dress more like fujiko mine, and i should embrace that.
fishnet bodysuit: best eight dollars i ever spent. if you don't like it, the investment is so minor that it's nothing more than a small irritation. if you do like it, it gives previously chaste or semi-chaste outfits this fascinating new dimension of "hoho, you see my skin? well there is some of it underneath my opaque clothes, and if you are very nice to me, i may share that with you"
So this time last week I was in the hospital following the removal of a large tumor on my spinal column. I could hear the nurses whispering about how they were being asked to not switch masks between patients as was the standard, and tracking tiles were being attached to protective helmets as they were disappearing and in short supply. I was released home a day early and am now recovering. I can’t help feeling so much gratitude: for the doctors who found and successfully removed the tumor; for the fact that it was benign; for all the caregivers who have kept me safe and well cared for, especially my husband who is WFH and so unhappy about that, as he has a small business & employees to worry about; and especially for the sensations returning to my legs, letting me know I will one day be back to doing the active things I love. I’m so worried about all the first responders who have limited supplies to protect themselves while they work so hard to help us. I know we’ll get through this. I keep looking for the bright spots all around us and was rewarded yesterday when my son proposed to his girlfriend, who we adore. There are so many good things to look forward to! Keep your eyes on the future, find and do the things that bring you joy, we are all so much braver than we know! 😘
Thank you! I have been working over the past few weeks to flex my perspective on things. It started when they first found the tumor—for months the doctors believed it was a degenerative disc issue in my lower back so they prescribed PT. After few months of PT, and after being chastised for just not trying hard enough—I went in for cortisone shots, which I got in Oct and Dec. they didn’t help and I was still deteriorating. I couldn’t even do the simplest of exercises, and I had been a very physically active outdoor type 9 mos. prior. I requested to see a neurologist who found the tumor in my upper (not lower) back. They needed some more MRIs (I ended up having 5 in total) and each one was making me more and more anxious. Somewhere in the process after the tumor was found my whole attitude changed. It began by thinking of the MRIs not as claustrophobic death coffins but as miracle magnets that can find things like tumors. And once I saw the image of my shithole tumor crushing my spinal cord I went from feeling disabled, old and “falling apart” to a total badass who could still manage to stand upright while a tumor munched on my mojo. My neurosurgeon was shocked that I was excited to be getting the surgery, which was, to me, the first obstacle to getting my old life back. I didn’t care that because of Covid my husband had to drop me off at the curb at the hospital and that no one would see me for three days. I knew I was a bad ass—a super hero!—and I could get through this. IAM BRAVE and I believe that we all are. I’m using my courage to get me where I want to be. When my son proposed to his girlfriend yesterday I knew I would be skipping, not stumbling down the aisle and best believe I will be the last one off the dance floor. We all have so much to look forward to. All we have to do right now is stay in place for a while until we have our chance to shine again.
Our dream wedding venue called on Wednesday to tell us this Halloween was still available. We had originally planned on next year. But I’ve always wanted to get married on Halloween and it would have been my grandma’s 100th Birthday this year. Well we broke out quarantine to visit the venue yesterday (it’s an isolated late 1800s Victorian we met 2 people who kept lysoling things so I feel safe) and we are probably definitely now getting married there in 7 months instead of the 18 we planned. I am very excited but also very nervous because who plans a wedding mid pandemic!?
I want to admit something silly that might help people! I am recently single, moved to an attic apartment (a la Jo March, I like to say) and while I'm very happy, I rely on work/social life to keep me going. I'm missing things, and I've started carrying around a pelican beanie baby in my sweater, since my attic isn't ideal for a pet. It's really helping, and I'm thinking of the seal robot episode of Master of None in a whole new way. I am keeping in touch with family, friends, therapist, and teleworking, so I am truly ok, just need some comfort!
This sounds delightful! I have two ladies (and their dog companions) who live under me, and it's honestly so great. Staying home has been good in this aspect.
Tiny good things: I dyed a streak of blue in my hair for the first time since I got a professional job, because working from home means I don't have to keep up "professional" appearances, and it's making me so much happier.
I made this focaccia recipe from Salt Fat Acid Heat and it's incredible. Tender and fluffy inside, crunchy and salty from olive oil and salt brine on the outside. https://www.saltfatacidheat.com/fat/ligurian-focaccia
Well, we abandoned our home and are now at my parents, and I am in a pisser of a mood about it (currently "working" from the basement in a full reversion to my teen angst) BUT I am also eating the leftover cake from our wedding tasting "to make room in the freezer" and salted caramel and whipped ganache go a long way toward easing my grieving soul. Cake for breakfast? Obviously the only response to this situation.
whipped ganache: two words i never knew could go together until this moment, and a thing which i find i need desperately in my life right now. enjoy the cake!!!
I am 4 weeks pregnant! We have been trying for over a year and are beyond overjoyed. I am praying fervently for a sticky baby and would greatly appreciate any more thoughts/prayers that anyone can spare, but of course everyone has a lot to be praying for right now.
Congratulations! Wonderful news, and you are in my thoughts. Sending you all the strongest, healthiest vibes.
Congratulations and prayers for you all! <3
Sending all the good thoughts and vibes and prayers your way <3
Congrats *sending vibes that the baby sticks and you both stay very healthy*
Congratulations!
Congratulations! Sending good vibes!
I’m becoming a beekeeper! We’re picking up the bees on Thursday! Painting the hives today! Thanks for letting me celebrate for a moment. <3
please keep us updated on the comings and goings of your 30,000 new coworkers.
Ooh, do you have an instagram so we could see your bee babies? (No pressure if not!)
I AM SO EXCITED FOR YOU!!! This is something I've always been interested in trying, myself. If you want to talk more about how you did this I am all ears!
Amazing!!!
I'm gonna put these in order from littlest triumph to biggest triumph:
-- Yesterday we cleaned our kitchen and living room very well, vacuumed and everything. It's sometimes hard for me to make time to deep clean regularly when I'm not on my normal schedule.
-- It's been almost 2 weeks of this stuff and Husband and I have done a really good job of being excellent to each other. We are one of those disgusting couples that Almost Never Fight anyhow, but two people WFH in a small apartment and never seeing anyone else in person and never having an excuse to go somewhere alone for a while will test the strongest bonds.
-- On a similar note, on April 11, he and I will celebrate five years since our first date, which is its own great accomplishment. Since we would normally go out for a nice meal or do a weekend away, our usual venues for celebrating are not available. What should we do instead? Suggestions?
-- ON SUNDAY I WILL SUBMIT MY DISSERTATION TO MY COMMITTEE. It will not be the work of amazing genius that I had always envisioned because I have made very little progress during the Recent Unpleasantness but it will be a dissertation and it will be complete.
EXTREME KUDOS on everything but especially the deep cleaning. I have Extreme Cleaning Anxiety and anyone who does a deep clean is a hero.
It's so hard, friend, so hard, and in my case I had gotten in the very firm habit of always doing chores A, B, C on Saturdays and X, Y, Z on Sundays and since we're all like "TIME IS A FLAT CIRCLE" now I just... hadn't... done it...
I wish you every success in making your house the refuge you deserve in this time!!
Thank you!! Yes the absolute body blow to routine is one of the hardest things about all this.
Ok, so, dissertations are never as awesome as we'd like them to be. We all fall short of our own expectations. But you did the most important part, you amazing person! You are submitting it to the committee and I can assure you it is WONDERFUL. So much better than you think it is. I haven't even seen it and I can promise you that: I've been through the process, and I've held my friends' hands through theirs (as people held my hand and sanity during mine). It's wonderful and you're amazing. CONGRATULATIONS, MH!
These are all AMAZING!!!
I will also be following for celebration suggestions.
CONGRATS ON YOUR DISSERTATION BABY!! I'm sure it's still a work of amazing genius.
re anniversary: maybe order food in from a place you've never eaten at before? if it's awful, it's still an experience and pizza exists.
GET THAT DISSERTATION!!!! And be proud of it! It's a huge accomplishment!
Last week, my husband and I adopted a dog I've wanted to adopt since January!!! (his sad story: https://www.charlotteobserver.com/news/state/north-carolina/article240157808.html?fbclid=IwAR3YhGWBRBWW1y7oGI1CadMUAqmOpNPDFckiDwDr6qpse0A1jyggdn1JWek)
His name is Pax. He's a 1.5-year-old black lab missing his back right leg. was rescued and treated for his broken leg and heartworms and fear and who knows what all by the org that also rescued the dog we adopted ~6 years ago, and we tried to adopt him TWICE and showed up moments after someone else had applied to adopt him, but he got brought back twice because he was destined to be our dog. We are all madly in love. Our grumpy girl dog follows him from room to room and he adores my husband despite many warnings that he's fearful of and doesn't warm up to men. I wish I could show you all 1,000 pictures. (I sent some to Nicole last week!)
STORY OF THE YEAR
<3 <3 <3 A colleague of mine also has a tripod lab (though he's a mix) and he is the BEST dog so with that single piece of anecdata I am very excited for you.
he's perfect!!! congrats :)
yay Pax and his new family!!!!!
ahhhhhhhh the people demand pics
YES, email me pics
Still nicole dot cliffe at gmail?
Always!
Done!
*cheers* BEAUREGARD, BEAUREGARD, BEAUREGARD
I already bragged about it last time but you SAID you wanted to hear: I defended my dissertation!!! My committee said nice things!!!
Another win is that Season 2 of My Brilliant Friend came out and I didn't love the first episode but I DID love the new title sequence, I'm excited for another couple months holed up with these vicious idiots <3
DOCTOR!!!! CONGRATS!!!!!!!!!
Congratulations, Dr. Goh!
Congratulations on your defense!
yes!!! more doctors and dissertations!!!
Not so much a triumph as just nice news, but I'm currently expecting (terrible timing state-of-the-world-wise, but what are you gonna do?) and we finally shared the news with our families this weekend. I've been feeling very blase about the whole thing, but their excitement and happiness were really sweet :)
Congratulations!
thank you!!
Congratulations!
thanks! <3
I get to see my mother today! She is in an assisted living place that has been on full lockdown for - 3 weeks now? Time means nothing. Anyway, I usually see her once a week. The extremely sweet and on-it staff has started setting up visits where your person is inside by a window, and you are outside with a phone, and at least you can see each other. My mother is 90 and getting very drifty, but she knows family and I think it will help her to see us. I am reassured that she is somewhere safe, and the staff adores her, because as other things fall away she is becoming pure love.
My mother is also on lockdown in assisted living, but they have no good way to set up window visits. So we have to make do with phone calls. She's 85 and has dementia, so she drifts a lot these days. They take very good care of her and seem to appreciate her still being a smartass. (Typical response to "How are you doing today?" is "Anyone I can.")
That's hilarious! I'm sure the staff love her spirit!
They do! And i'm so glad that part of her personality remains intact. It's interesting what remains when, as you said, other things fall away.
I am so glad you are able to do so, and that the facility is taking care of people's physical and emotional health!
There's a line from The Girl Who Drank the Moon that has stuck with me and reminds me of what you shared about your mom:
"Xan wheezed, 'I love...'
And she drifted away, loving everything"
I got into a fiction MFA program for the fall!!
Amazing! Congratulations!
Congrats!
Here in northern Florida we at the public defender's office have been working double time to get eligible clients out of jail and thanks to unprecedented cooperation from the sheriff and the state attorney's office we have gotten 150 humans out of there in the last week. That's my good nugget for the day.
You are heroes!!!!
You are doing such important work, thank you!
Thank you, thank you, thank you! You blessed, blessed soul!
I have a phone interview for a job today! It's just the initial phone screening but the RELIEF of just having even one person get in touch after the flurry of applications I sent out.
Joni Mitchell warms my cold dead heart, and The Last Waltz is...everything. If anyone wants to talk about the Sad (Probably Very Gay) Heartbreak of The Band please let me know.
It has been very genuinely great to hang out so much with my dog and my gf's cat, who is very particular and tends to show his displeasure by biting. The cat let me pick him up (!) yesterday and it feels good to know we're friends now (having been housemates since September). AND the cat and the dog willingly sat butt-to-butt this week!
LOL that phone interview was a whole-ass mess, but honestly, it's fine, I need the practice at talking about how I got fired.
Let's all just watch Ophelia and dance and feel better, yeah? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4RjqcTsxx-8
A miracle: my tax return came much earlier than I was expecting, so I had money to send to dear friends leaving a bad situation. I am also making good on my goal to dress like a mean anime woman in 2020, and I have a slutty dress coming in the mail today. Very excited.
i wanna see the mean anime woman dress
https://shop.nordstrom.com/s/leith-cutout-front-mock-neck-sweater-dress-plus-size/5411233/full?origin=keywordsearch-personalizedsort&breadcrumb=Home%2FAll%20Results%2FWomen%27s%20Clothing%2FDresses&color=black
I also bought a fishnet bodysuit, to wear under my non-slutty dresses to remind people that I am naked underneath them.
this is a true classic of mean anime woman, congratulations
I was thinking of buying a fishnet bodysuit too!
thank you so much; i realized that i have the shape going on to dress more like fujiko mine, and i should embrace that.
fishnet bodysuit: best eight dollars i ever spent. if you don't like it, the investment is so minor that it's nothing more than a small irritation. if you do like it, it gives previously chaste or semi-chaste outfits this fascinating new dimension of "hoho, you see my skin? well there is some of it underneath my opaque clothes, and if you are very nice to me, i may share that with you"
It sounds extremely itchy
yeah but you get used to it.
Wonderful that you were able to pass along some good fortune.
You know the song "Born at the Right Time?" Same feeling.
So this time last week I was in the hospital following the removal of a large tumor on my spinal column. I could hear the nurses whispering about how they were being asked to not switch masks between patients as was the standard, and tracking tiles were being attached to protective helmets as they were disappearing and in short supply. I was released home a day early and am now recovering. I can’t help feeling so much gratitude: for the doctors who found and successfully removed the tumor; for the fact that it was benign; for all the caregivers who have kept me safe and well cared for, especially my husband who is WFH and so unhappy about that, as he has a small business & employees to worry about; and especially for the sensations returning to my legs, letting me know I will one day be back to doing the active things I love. I’m so worried about all the first responders who have limited supplies to protect themselves while they work so hard to help us. I know we’ll get through this. I keep looking for the bright spots all around us and was rewarded yesterday when my son proposed to his girlfriend, who we adore. There are so many good things to look forward to! Keep your eyes on the future, find and do the things that bring you joy, we are all so much braver than we know! 😘
writing your last sentence on a post it note for my mirror. sending you continued healing vibes! 💜
Thank you! I have been working over the past few weeks to flex my perspective on things. It started when they first found the tumor—for months the doctors believed it was a degenerative disc issue in my lower back so they prescribed PT. After few months of PT, and after being chastised for just not trying hard enough—I went in for cortisone shots, which I got in Oct and Dec. they didn’t help and I was still deteriorating. I couldn’t even do the simplest of exercises, and I had been a very physically active outdoor type 9 mos. prior. I requested to see a neurologist who found the tumor in my upper (not lower) back. They needed some more MRIs (I ended up having 5 in total) and each one was making me more and more anxious. Somewhere in the process after the tumor was found my whole attitude changed. It began by thinking of the MRIs not as claustrophobic death coffins but as miracle magnets that can find things like tumors. And once I saw the image of my shithole tumor crushing my spinal cord I went from feeling disabled, old and “falling apart” to a total badass who could still manage to stand upright while a tumor munched on my mojo. My neurosurgeon was shocked that I was excited to be getting the surgery, which was, to me, the first obstacle to getting my old life back. I didn’t care that because of Covid my husband had to drop me off at the curb at the hospital and that no one would see me for three days. I knew I was a bad ass—a super hero!—and I could get through this. IAM BRAVE and I believe that we all are. I’m using my courage to get me where I want to be. When my son proposed to his girlfriend yesterday I knew I would be skipping, not stumbling down the aisle and best believe I will be the last one off the dance floor. We all have so much to look forward to. All we have to do right now is stay in place for a while until we have our chance to shine again.
Our dream wedding venue called on Wednesday to tell us this Halloween was still available. We had originally planned on next year. But I’ve always wanted to get married on Halloween and it would have been my grandma’s 100th Birthday this year. Well we broke out quarantine to visit the venue yesterday (it’s an isolated late 1800s Victorian we met 2 people who kept lysoling things so I feel safe) and we are probably definitely now getting married there in 7 months instead of the 18 we planned. I am very excited but also very nervous because who plans a wedding mid pandemic!?
How exciting!!! An isolated late 1800s Victorian on Halloween - r u guys the Addams family
Not yet but that is the dream. We're probably a little more Munsters than Addams though lol
I want to admit something silly that might help people! I am recently single, moved to an attic apartment (a la Jo March, I like to say) and while I'm very happy, I rely on work/social life to keep me going. I'm missing things, and I've started carrying around a pelican beanie baby in my sweater, since my attic isn't ideal for a pet. It's really helping, and I'm thinking of the seal robot episode of Master of None in a whole new way. I am keeping in touch with family, friends, therapist, and teleworking, so I am truly ok, just need some comfort!
When I started dating my husband, I lived in the tiny attic of a frat house with two other tiny ladies. Good memories.
This sounds delightful! I have two ladies (and their dog companions) who live under me, and it's honestly so great. Staying home has been good in this aspect.
Tiny good things: I dyed a streak of blue in my hair for the first time since I got a professional job, because working from home means I don't have to keep up "professional" appearances, and it's making me so much happier.
I made this focaccia recipe from Salt Fat Acid Heat and it's incredible. Tender and fluffy inside, crunchy and salty from olive oil and salt brine on the outside. https://www.saltfatacidheat.com/fat/ligurian-focaccia
that focaccia is on my quarantine to do list for the week!!
Well, we abandoned our home and are now at my parents, and I am in a pisser of a mood about it (currently "working" from the basement in a full reversion to my teen angst) BUT I am also eating the leftover cake from our wedding tasting "to make room in the freezer" and salted caramel and whipped ganache go a long way toward easing my grieving soul. Cake for breakfast? Obviously the only response to this situation.
whipped ganache: two words i never knew could go together until this moment, and a thing which i find i need desperately in my life right now. enjoy the cake!!!