so hot right now

So, I am about to start the third episode of Fosse/Verdon, which I have been enjoying HUGELY, as a theater nerd and as a person with a heart. I think you should watch it, but first I want you to read this exceptionally good piece by Alexandra Molotkow, which gives you some very depressing Fosse information which I personally feel really enhances the show. It is also full of triggers for sexual violence, which I do not want you to stumble into accidentally.

I will now share two of my fav moments from Fosse’s extreeeeemly autobiographical film, “All That Jazz,” both of which feature the luminous and perfect Ann Reinking, Fosse’s muse and, at the time, lover. You may only know her as the secretary from the 1982 Annie, and that would be so tragic!

Wasn’t that lovely? Are you not entertained?

At any rate, FOSSE/VERDON, currently on FX, is well worth watching, and I recommend it!

Now, perhaps a few Reddit posts?

This is actively abusive, and not funny, but I am including it in case this is relevant to you and you need to hear that this is abusive:

I was around 5'1 and 100 lbs when we got married and six years later, I'm 5'1 and 125 lbs. He constantly comments on my body and my weight even though I've never asked for his opinion. I know my body isn't perfect, but I'm working on accepting that.

Actual things he has said to me

  1. (A day after I gave birth and was getting dressed in front of him) - [disgusted tone and expression] "is your stomach going to stay like that?" By the way it takes two weeks for the uterus to return to normal size

  2. "It's not baby weight when the baby is two years old."

  3. "Your thighs are huge. When you sit down, they look even more enormous"

  4. "It's like you've lost the weight everywhere except for your hips. It's very noticeable from behind. I'll even take a photo and show you so you can see for yourself how fat your ass is"

  5. "I'm just motivating you to lose weight. Who else is going to tell you that you're fat?"

  6. He even has a game he plays with our three year old daughter: "Who's the tall one?" - her: "daddy" "Who's the cute one?" - "me!" "Who's the fat one?" - "mommy!!" and they both laugh at me. okay haha very funny.

  7. "Why do you keep trying on clothes if you're never going to buy anything? You keep saying it doesn't look good on you but the truth is that thin people (he meant women) don't need to try on clothing because they look good in everything. So maybe just lose weight before you go clothes shopping again."

  8. "Short and fat isn't a good combination"

And so on. On average, he'll make 1-2 body shaming comments a week. I've talked to him about it but he says he just wants me to be healthy and fit. It's hurtful, and unhelpful, and unhealthy for my daughter to hear those comments from her dad about her mom.

Good luck, friend:

You are a treasure:

I(31M) would like to make my wife(29F) happy.

For a little context we've been together for 8 years. She's from upstate NY and I'm from Florida and am in the Military. We spent a large part of our early relationship long distance as she was finishing her degree and I was obligated to my Military service.

We've had our ups and downs but we're happily married and have two children together. My wife was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes during my last deployment and had struggled with that plus raising our children by herself while I've been overseas or traveling for work. She's handled it like an absolute rockstar. She is literally the most amazing woman I've ever met. I wasn't able to give her a wedding that I thought she deserved because of financial reasons, we've never had a proper honeymoon, or a real holiday of proper getaway.

She's handled literally every terrible or hard thing that can be thrown on someone by herself and I really just want to make her feel appreciated. She's sacrificed so much for me and our family and I truly want to just let her know how much we love her.

Honestly, I kind of feel like ridiculous because I'm tearing up while typing this out but... she's so happy with the smallest gestures and I feel inadequate that I cant provide more for her. She doesn't hold me being gone over my head and is so awesome and understanding when work gets in the way of our life.

I do the small gestures like take her out when I can, compliment her, help out with the kids, etc. I just wish there was more I could do. She definitely deserves better than what I can currently provide and I'm just looking for some way to make her feel special.


My daughter Ann (17) has been obsessed with building miniatures ever since she saw Hereditary a few months back. Since then, she has probably spent close to 500 dollars on miniature sets from Amazon, Hobby Lobby, and etsy. All of this money comes from her job at a local movie theatre, so I can't exactly cut her off.

I can't explain why, but something about it drives me up the ****ing wall. Maybe it's because Toni Collette was so creepy? Maybe I just want to spend some quality time with my daughter instead of watching her waste her life in her bedroom. I hear my sister talk about dropping her daughter off at soccer, or how her son's the lead in the school play, and then think about how my daughter's upstairs building a tiny cottage with tweezers. She hasn't ever really shown interest in any hobbies before, so I thought it would be grateful that she's finally good at something, but mostly I'm just annoyed. Her grades are fine (Bs), her chores are always done, but mostly every second of her spare time is spent putting together miniatures. I try to ask her if she'd like to go for a walk with me, or sign up for cheerleading, but she always says no. My husband thinks its sweet and has started letting her put them around the house and in his office at work. Every day, I drink coffee next to a 60 dollar miniature greenhouse, and think about when the last time I had a genuine conversation with my daughter that didn't revolve around the merits of craft glue versus hot glue was.

None of you handled this well!

This is a throwaway account that I made just to ask this question. The following story happened very recently.

For some context, I am a 37-year-old man. I live with my wife who is also 37. We got married two years ago.

Ever since we got married, we'd been trying to have a baby. After two years, it was becoming tiresome. It wasn't just the fact that we'd been trying for two years, it was also that we knew we were getting older and that time was running out.

Please note that I'm a very private personI don't like surprises because they make me uncomfortable.

One day, my wife told me she wanted to have a dinner party and invite both our families and our closest friends. We don't usually host parties, but I went along with it because she was persistent, and plus, we had a good house and dining room for it. She invited both of her parents and my single father, plus our siblings and two close family friends.

Everything was going swimmingly and everyone was having fun. As we finished our meals, we lingered around the table talking. Then, my wife tapped her glass calling for everyone's attention. She stood up and told everyone the reason why she'd invited everyone there was to announce that she's pregnant. Joy filled the room at that moment. Everyone seemed excited, especially our parents. They hugged us and my father cried with joy. They all seemed to assume she had told me until I said that I didn't know.

I was angry. My wife didn't tell me she was pregnant. **I felt like I should've been the first to know.**Having a baby is a team effort and the father is just as necessary as the mother. By telling me with the rest of the family, it felt like I didn't matter. I just felt like a chump because my whole family and two friends found out about MY baby the same time I did.

Right there, I pulled my wife into our bedroom and asked her why she thought it would be a good idea not to tell me about the baby. She explained that she wanted to surprise me and for our families to witness my reaction. She also said that the manner of delivery shouldn't matter when we've been trying for so long for a child, that I shouldn't make a big deal about it and just be grateful that we'll be having a baby. She kept repeating "I thought you'd be HAPPY that we're having a baby!" until the point of tears. I couldn't believe how insensitive and selfish she was being.

I stormed out of the house in front of our guests and got a motel for the night. I dodged my wife's calls and returned the next morning.

My wife told me I embarrassed her, but I feel like my behavior was justified. She told me she was worried about me, and that our families thought I was angry about the pregnancy itself rather than the manner of announcement. Our relationship hasn't been the same since.


She's 5 and the creepiest person I've ever met. For starters, the questions she asks are off the wall. She once asked me if she could feel my skin to make sure I was warm and living and how many buckets of blood I thought were inside a cow. Those are just two of the recent ones. When she's not asking questions, she's staring into the distance (or occasionally straight into your eyes) with a blank look on her face. She's an intelligent, precocious child and sometimes when I'm around her I feel like I'm in the movie Orphan (SPOILER: full grown woman in little girls' body). She's articulate for her age and her parents say it's because she reads so much. She's in 1st grade (skipped Kindergarten) and has already read all the Harry Potter books. Even so, I feel like she knows way more than possible for someone so young. She's never shown any aggression or violence toward anyone, but I feel like she's not normal. I once saw her picking hairs off a family member's jacket and putting them in a little plastic baggy. This girl has a mason jar full of CHICKEN BONES on her night stand. I'm not making this up. Every time her family eats a rotisserie chicken, she picks out the bones she "likes" and puts them in the jar. I am 19 years old and terrified of a this small child. I get uneasy even going to their house because I'm afraid I'll see her in the corner counting her little bird bones. WIBTA if I suggested my brother take her to therapy? The rest of my family just thinks she's a normal, kooky kid and that she'll grow out of her creepy tendencies. Am I wrong for thinking that there's something not okay with her?

you are just a doofus:

My girlfriend’s birthday is today. About a month ago my brother told me that he was planning on buying her one of those new Dyson vacuums. I thought it was an incredible idea since I’ve seen how high tech and cool they are, so I asked if I can contribute to the gift. After some math, we decided to split it three ways, between me, him, and his gf, with me paying the majority.

Fast forward to today. She opens the gift and kind of gives an awkward laugh. She thanks me but I can tell she’s upset. I ask her what’s wrong, and she opens up with how dumb of a gift idea this is. The more she talked, the more upset and angry she got.

She said that she saw the gift as an implication that she should clean more. She hates cleaning and she thought the gift was very inappropriate for a birthday. I was genuinely surprised by her reaction and got a little hurt that she was so upset. She cried for a bit and then left the house to go for a walk. I feel like a giant asshole.

Love y’all! Thrive! xoxoxox n

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