There’s an update — 23F with the super-creepy boyfriend told her mom everything and she helped OP dump him and block him on all forms of social media, hurrah!
I came here to say I LOVE this mom. Note OP mentions being Grounded, but it seems to be an language mixup (they aren't in an English speaking country.) so it seems to be mostly making sure she doesn't go back to him.
Oh, the people who try to interfere with people with EDs at work, where the ED folks are captive audiences ... I would like to be Santa and leave them boxes of ExLax in their Christmas stockings .
I kind of disagree with the Monica Aldama / Cheer characterization in the Atlantic! I don't think she's "the hero America needs" or any better than any other coach....but I do think that's what coaching looks like. Being tough on your players so that they know the boundaries of what is acceptable and what isn't. I saw the TT thing less as ignoring a real injury (she took Sherbs to the ER immediately!), and more of her checking with Keke that if he wasn't injured, then he needed to work out even if he was tired. I trust that in 20 years of coaching she generally knows the difference between emergent and non-emergent issues. I saw that lesson as equal to her making Gabi finish her tumbling even though she was tired, and don't think she'd have made TT keep practicing if truly injured. But more than the specific individual moments, I think this is what coaching youths that age looks like -- walking a very tough line between being the patient and fair instructor, and one who is hard on them to build grit. And I know Amanda did say at the end of the Atlantic article that some of this might have been editing (the editing on that show WAS terrible!!!), but the piece read like someone who just hasn't been coached and been part of a team and seen ALL the facets -- including the tough sides -- of an inspirational coach. It's not all being told you're the best while doing hard workouts; sometimes letting kids know an excuse is unacceptable, or showcasing your disappointment, is instructive too!
RE Cheer. I haven't watched it yet, I'm going to eventually. I read the article and I keep thinking, Duty of Care. I work with kids, little ones, and I just keep thinking, yes, I'm their camp counselor or teacher or whatever, and we are there to learn and have fun. But I have duty of care for them. I need to make decisions that are responsible for the entire child. I know its different for people who are ostensibly responsible for themselves. But look. 18 year olds are kind of idiots. Now it sounds like a lot of these kids have been taking care of themselves already. So when I was a freshman, I had some kind of awful cold/ear infection/vertigo thing. I was about to pass TF out during my first german exam, my professor told me to go home and rest. The next day I came back to class, having not finished my exam. My professor was like, you didn't come back and finish. I was like, oh, I'm still terribly ill. She looks at me and goes, "then go back to your room and rest. Take care of yourself. Then come back and take the exam." And I did, and everything was fine. It might not be an obvious requirement but you still have duty of care for these 'adults' too. Soft kids won't make good cheerleaders or whatever (does it?), but how is not getting medical care help them? Risk of permanent injury? Rest of their lives? Sigh. That goes for every coach, every sport. Maybe I should hold back a little more until I see the show.
There’s an update — 23F with the super-creepy boyfriend told her mom everything and she helped OP dump him and block him on all forms of social media, hurrah!
VICTORY
Good momming there
I came here to say I LOVE this mom. Note OP mentions being Grounded, but it seems to be an language mixup (they aren't in an English speaking country.) so it seems to be mostly making sure she doesn't go back to him.
Oh thank god I hadn't seen that
Oh is she the update? I only saw the aftermath. Thank goodness!
Here's the update, I think? https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/f5ewfc/my_22f_boyfriend_23m_has_been_weird_about_birth/fhyyqxi/
I watched Cheer and needed to snuggle my baby a LOT. Those poor kids.
Morgan and Jerry and La’Darius! They deserve all the best things.
Oh, the people who try to interfere with people with EDs at work, where the ED folks are captive audiences ... I would like to be Santa and leave them boxes of ExLax in their Christmas stockings .
I kind of disagree with the Monica Aldama / Cheer characterization in the Atlantic! I don't think she's "the hero America needs" or any better than any other coach....but I do think that's what coaching looks like. Being tough on your players so that they know the boundaries of what is acceptable and what isn't. I saw the TT thing less as ignoring a real injury (she took Sherbs to the ER immediately!), and more of her checking with Keke that if he wasn't injured, then he needed to work out even if he was tired. I trust that in 20 years of coaching she generally knows the difference between emergent and non-emergent issues. I saw that lesson as equal to her making Gabi finish her tumbling even though she was tired, and don't think she'd have made TT keep practicing if truly injured. But more than the specific individual moments, I think this is what coaching youths that age looks like -- walking a very tough line between being the patient and fair instructor, and one who is hard on them to build grit. And I know Amanda did say at the end of the Atlantic article that some of this might have been editing (the editing on that show WAS terrible!!!), but the piece read like someone who just hasn't been coached and been part of a team and seen ALL the facets -- including the tough sides -- of an inspirational coach. It's not all being told you're the best while doing hard workouts; sometimes letting kids know an excuse is unacceptable, or showcasing your disappointment, is instructive too!
RE Cheer. I haven't watched it yet, I'm going to eventually. I read the article and I keep thinking, Duty of Care. I work with kids, little ones, and I just keep thinking, yes, I'm their camp counselor or teacher or whatever, and we are there to learn and have fun. But I have duty of care for them. I need to make decisions that are responsible for the entire child. I know its different for people who are ostensibly responsible for themselves. But look. 18 year olds are kind of idiots. Now it sounds like a lot of these kids have been taking care of themselves already. So when I was a freshman, I had some kind of awful cold/ear infection/vertigo thing. I was about to pass TF out during my first german exam, my professor told me to go home and rest. The next day I came back to class, having not finished my exam. My professor was like, you didn't come back and finish. I was like, oh, I'm still terribly ill. She looks at me and goes, "then go back to your room and rest. Take care of yourself. Then come back and take the exam." And I did, and everything was fine. It might not be an obvious requirement but you still have duty of care for these 'adults' too. Soft kids won't make good cheerleaders or whatever (does it?), but how is not getting medical care help them? Risk of permanent injury? Rest of their lives? Sigh. That goes for every coach, every sport. Maybe I should hold back a little more until I see the show.