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The dress is here and carefully wrapped up and I am gonna shower and delicately slip into it. It’s very old so probably I will have to spray the pits with vodka and water but I do not care.

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Update: delicate, beautiful, cape hides the bra bulge.

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Also, comes w a great slip

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Feb 26, 2020Liked by Nicole Cliffe

Now the plan: produce an Oscar-nominated movie. Dress sorted

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Feb 26, 2020Liked by Nicole Cliffe

plz share pictures when you're in it!

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Feb 26, 2020Liked by Nicole Cliffe

Ahhhhh!!!! SO GLAD you have it! (and oh, yes, definitely, the vodka spray and delicate hand steaming tricks only! Oh, so lovely!)

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If you observe it, please have a somber and thoughtful Ash Wednesday!

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Feb 27, 2020Liked by Nicole Cliffe

I am aware that it is no longer Ash Wednesday, but I want to share this: I was hoping to go on my work break early enough to make the Ash Wednesday service at church, but it didn't work out. I left the office more than 20 minutes after the service started, but something told me to go to the church anyway. I pulled into the parking lot and literally ran into the building.

When I got inside, I saw that everyone had already received their crosses and they were singing the final hymn. My heart sank, but I knew it was my own fault that I was so late.

That's when the pastor looked up and saw me. Still singing, he waved for me to come forward. I went up and received the ashes, and went back to my pew where I tried not to cry through the rest of the song and the benediction.

Afterwards, he and others in the congregation let me know they were glad I made it "just in time." How wonderful is that? I wasn't "late." I was "just in time." What a blessing to start the Lenten season this way. Ash Wednesday is about repentance and devotion to God — and I wasn't too late. Not only that, but I was welcome, just as God welcomes those who seek him. Talk about a Lenten lesson.

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Feb 26, 2020Liked by Nicole Cliffe

My friends and I have been texting each other things like "remember you are beloved dust" all morning.

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Feb 26, 2020Liked by Nicole Cliffe

A tweet that made me lol was from @WritNelson and it said "Yo WHAT UP, it's ya boi Anubis, back at it again with another soul unboxing video. Now as you can see, this one is a little heavier than a feather, which longtime fans of the channel will know is REALLY bad, haha"

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Feb 26, 2020Liked by Nicole Cliffe

I'm dead lol

wait, that is a bad turn of phrase here

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Feb 26, 2020Liked by Nicole Cliffe

time to go hang with ya boi anubis

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Feb 26, 2020Liked by Nicole Cliffe

Does this count? A very long story made extremely short, but I was reselling yarn to a woman thru knitting social media, and when the sale fell thru, she offered me.... some "Professional Advice from a Disappointed Customer." I responded that not only, ma'am, is this not an Arby's, it is not even a place of business. Happy Ash Wednesday, bring forth the Death.

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Feb 26, 2020Liked by Nicole Cliffe

Unsolicited advice is always bad but the worst flavor is unsolicited professional advice

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Please listen to Gilda Radner sing “Honey (Touch Me With My Clothes On)” from her live show, it is both sweet and funny.

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Feb 26, 2020Liked by Nicole Cliffe

I am re-taking the PMP exam tomorrow (it's a scam, I tell you, but a scam that comes with a pay bump and title change at work so we allow ourselves to be scammed) and could use some good vibes on passing. Actual work has kept me from being as good a student as I'd like and the fact that I only need a 61% to pass is truly more stressful than if I needed an 80%. I'm open threading this and also screaming it into the wind because why not take a two-pronged approach?

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Feb 26, 2020Liked by Nicole Cliffe

My husband has been studying for the PMP exam in between massive life changes and dumbass sales people at work making promises he can’t keep, so I feel I understand some of that. Good luck!!!

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Good luck! I want to get my PMP someday!

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It's a scam! No, but really, the exam is changing in July and it sounds like the newer version will be...not easier but more comprehensible from a real-life application standpoint. The issue I've had is that as the exam currently stands, the stupid official book as well as most of the study material is aimed at "memorize these 49 steps and 14 formulas" and less "you are actually already a project manager and here's how these guidelines might apply to real life."

I definitely would not be doing this if work wasn't paying for it. Then it's on to the next certification! (I've heard much better things about the APICS process though.)

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oooh that is a good point - i need to get to a place where work will pay for it. i have definitely heard it's a scam, but if i can make a little more money...i'm in the bay area and see so many job listings with "PMP preferred". i'm about to have a baby so maybe i'll do some studying while i'm on mat leave (hah, right).

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I'm in the Bay too! It's a nice thing to put on your resume/application that you're currently working toward certification as an interim step, sometimes that's all it takes. I'd hold off on any real effort toward it until the exam change happens and people start releasing updated material for it. And if you don't qualify for the exam with work experience, you can find prep classes that will also qualify you for training hours to get it all done at once. Be prepared to drop a good bit of money on it, but around us it does open a lot of doors and (for me) I'll break even on the investment in 6 months.

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oh that is a FANTASTIC idea, thank you! i'll start doing a bit of research into it and just list on my resume that i'm working towards it, but hold off til the change happens. you're the best! are you in technical or non-tech PM?

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I'm a non-tech PM who works in tech. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I work in the tech space but I PM the logistics portion of the work.

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Feb 26, 2020Liked by Nicole Cliffe

You haven't missed anything on Twitter other than the VERY GOOD BOY who was very bad at being a service dog. I trust someone has already sent you the video!

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YES

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I love that big dumb dodo so much. Did you see the video of the girl who cleaned and organized for her roommate who was going through a tough time? I think it was about a week ago, but who knows in Twitter time. So lovely!

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Yes, it was so sweet, and she even got another friend to help! Truly, so wonderful!

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This one I haven't seen! Do you have a link? I tried a quick search, but I'm probably not using the right terms.

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I haven't seen it, can someone link?

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SUCH A GOOD BOY!!!

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What an incredibly good boy! He'll make some patient person very happy.

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Feb 26, 2020Liked by Nicole Cliffe

Thank you to everyone who encouraged me to read a closed and common orbit on the book open thread! I am enjoying it a lot-definitely not as much as book 1 because I am missing having so many characters but the world building is as excellent as ever.

This morning I went to my favorite bakery and one of the employees was wearing a shirt that said “pro-gluten, pro-choice, pro-sciutto” so an excellent start to my morning.

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Feb 26, 2020Liked by Nicole Cliffe

Nicole I’m going to Blackberry Farms in October to celebrate the emptying of my nest. SO EXCITED!

Also that dress is amazing and a perfect color for you.

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I am there in late October!!! Email me your dates.

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This is a lovely dress in itself, also definitely a #BisexualSpaceFleet dress. (Hi! I finally pulled the trigger on Substack bc I gave up Twitter for Lent.)

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Feb 26, 2020Liked by Nicole Cliffe

10/10 would join bisexual space fleet immediately, am intensely open to seeing more bisexual space fleet fashion

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This one is even in the right colors! https://cf.ltkcdn.net/fashion-history/images/std/213829-630x450-gresdress.jpg

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Feb 26, 2020Liked by Nicole Cliffe

Please sign me up for bisexual space fleet at once! (My avatar image has never been more apropos!)

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Feb 27, 2020Liked by Nicole Cliffe

Last year I reported a man at my law school for groping me because I knew he groped a lot of other people and I at least had witnesses.

It turns out the school official (a mandatory reporter) didn't mandatory report it. I have now spent 10 hours both re-reporting this bad man and also reporting the institutional failures. I have failed to prepare for classes twice this week, something I have never done. I have cried in class. I have been in meetings across the university.

I'm so tired of what we have to do to protect other women and ourselves. I'm just so tired and unhappy and worried.

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Feb 27, 2020Liked by Nicole Cliffe

I'm so sorry that you're dealing with this. As a recent law school grad, I know you don't need this on top of everyday stuff you're dealing with. Thinking of you. <3

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Feb 26, 2020Liked by Nicole Cliffe

Josh Gondelman tweeted how much he likes and misses Mitch Hedberg's comedy, and everyone started adding their favorite punchlines in the thread, and it was just really nice to revisit all those great jokes! "Hey, you have a lot of...cranium accessories"

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Josh is a good friend and I LOVE MITCH.

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I think about “Temporarily stairs, sorry for the convenience” approximately once per week and laugh every time

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Feb 27, 2020Liked by Nicole Cliffe

For me it's the donut receipt

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Mar 3, 2020Liked by Nicole Cliffe

My husband and I quote the bit about inventing club sandwiches a LOT. "In the middle, we will dump chips. Or potato salad. Alright."

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You will look AMAZING for the end of the world in this dress.

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just me, coughing in a beach chair like Station Eleven, in an exquisite vintage gown

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Stop. Really the kids are alright. Dance a little in the dark on that beach. Also I am queen of magical thinking. Isn't that prayer? You are not weak. You are so strong and taking a much deserved break from white male industrial complex. I mean. The passwords alone to negotiate this brave new world are enough to bring me to my knees. Love.

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Let's reverse Fyre fest the election...know what I mean. Fiere. Feerie.

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Feb 26, 2020Liked by Nicole Cliffe

a) EXCELLENT dress b) due to the thread on Friday I have been reading Wolf Hall and am obsessed and in love and how does she write so good and how are these characters and ahhhhhhhhhhhh

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HOW DOES SHE WRITE SO GOOD???

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Feb 26, 2020Liked by Nicole Cliffe

Wolf Hall is so good and I am very excited for book three but also dreading it because I am not going to be able to cope with what inevitably has to happen.

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Feb 26, 2020Liked by Nicole Cliffe

From Twitter: 1) Katherine Johnson was such a badass mathematician that she waited until age 101 so she would die in her prime. 2) People have been talking a lot about who would be at their fantasy dinner parties: anybody alive or dead, but not fictional. Princess Margaret isn't, but should be, a given.

Also, this dress is so good I think it would make Edna Mode rethink her "no capes" stance.

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Feb 26, 2020Liked by Nicole Cliffe

I was catching up with your latest care and feeding column when I realized my 5 week old had been crying in a pool of spit up for some time. The irony...

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Feb 26, 2020Liked by Nicole Cliffe

i'll only comment here to note the shape of my multi-year Lana Journey, which went from "this is boring and i don't get it" to "this is not to my taste, but whatever" to "this is fine, but it's not For Me and that's ok" to, at last, "holy shit what a genius"

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I am a full on Lana truther bc yes, she's really developed into an artist and yet part of her secret is working with Jack Antonoff (of Bleachers) who is a pop GENIUS (Lorde, Taylor Swift.) Everything he touches turns to gold, he's so good at producing women.

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i'm an Antonoff sympathizer; not only do i love "Melodrama," but he also co-produced St. Vincent's "Massseduction" which is near or at the top of my best-of-the-2010s list

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YES! Like, his list of producing hits is incredible: Sara Bareilles "Brave", Tegan and Sara "How Come You Don't Want Me" Christina Perri, Grimes, Troye Sivan, Sia, the Zayn and Taylor banger "I Don't Wanna Live Forever", Banks, MØ, CARLY RAE--why I am telling everyone when everyone can go to the wiki discography themselves.

Anyway. Antonoff forever.

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I'm not totally sold on Lana, but I've been a Jack Antonoff fan since his Steel Train days and that moves her up slightly in my books. He's incredible.

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I had liked her music for a long time but what really tipped me over into SHE IS A GENIUS A GENIUS I TELL YOU was her wildly underrated Our Lady of Sorrows costume for the Met Gala

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wildly underrated and also frequently misidentified, like "the Holy Spirit," seriously??

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Big same. I even wrote an article in my school's magazine about how much I didn't get it. And now I'm a Lana Fucking Del Rey fan.

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Had exactly the same journey, and boy does it feel good to be on the other side!!

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Feb 26, 2020Liked by Nicole Cliffe

That dress is magnificent and you will be stunning in it!

I am currently weighing applying for a work opportunity that would require me to relocate to another state for 5 months, away from my husband and our newly minted ward, his 15yo sister. I was sent a recommendation for it by someone on the team I’ve worked with before and it’s EXACTLY what I’ve been wanting, but I also feel like it’s not the right time. :/

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It does sound like extremely not the right time, but just how set is the timeline? If there's any chance it might slip (or they might agree to move it) I would apply unless you think it would be too hard to turn down if it does stay on schedule. (Caveat: my perspective is from a workplace that's chronically slow/behind schedule about personnel changes.)

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It’s Big Tech, so ostensibly it’s very set, but my boss says it’s not so cut and dry, so we’ll see. We’re gonna chat about it today and see if there’s a different way to make it work.

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UPDATE: I emailed back the person who recced me for the experience and was basically like listen there is nothing I want more but it’s not a good time for my family, can we keep in touch, though? And we’ll see what can happen down the road. Opportunity and timing have to line up at once, and this time they didn’t. But I am hopeful for what the future may hold once things settle a bit. 💚

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I am here to announce that Marianne is a GREAT French horror series on Netflix. If anyone is watching it, please talk to me about it. If you are not watching it, please do and then come back here and talk to me about it.

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I FUCKING LOVE MARIANNE EXCEPT OUR HEROINES SHOULD BE GAY FOR EACH OTHER, Emma pinged my ‘dar like five seconds in and never stopped.

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Feb 27, 2020Liked by Nicole Cliffe

same same TOUT LA SAME

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I had the SAME thought!

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KISS! KISS! KISS!

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I mean; first deal w Marianne.

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Feb 26, 2020Liked by Nicole Cliffe

I loved Marianne. I will say, it is the only French language TV show I have ever actively enjoyed instead of finishing it out of a sense of duty because I need to work on my mediocre aural comprehension. And it was so scary!

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Ooh, I started it but haven't finished yet! TRULY SPOOKY! Do recommend! I need to finish!!!

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I'm only on episode 4 but I'm LOVING it! I would have already binged it by now, but my boyfriend is not a fan of horror and needs breaks in between. He terrifies himself for my benefit, so the least I can do is let him go a few days without demons, I suppose.

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It’s really so scary.

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Feb 26, 2020Liked by Nicole Cliffe

Hi there, I'm having a tough and stressful couple of weeks and would appreciate any words of encouragement. What are your favorite things to do that make you feel better in the short term when you're down?

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1. Listen to the WKRP in Cincinatti theme.

2. Solve a small and unimportant but nagging problem. This morning, I badly washed my kitchen floor, and it was huge.

3. A friend once recommended buying cheap thrift store dishes and smashing them. I have never done it, but it sounded like fun.

I hope the stressful stuff passes soon.

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I am ON THE SMASH DISHES TEAM. Though for my purposes - you know how sometimes you get a nickname, or you buy yourself ONE of something, and then people who are somewhat clueless gift givers but who nonetheless feel compelled to buy you an object they choose themselves instead of asking what you'd like decide it should be a COLLECTION, then proceed to buy you innumerable versions of whatever the thing is, many of them hideous? THOSE are what I break. Also I learned that for true satisfaction, you need to not have to clean up too much, so I put the thing in doubled paper grocery bags, and whack away merrily with a hammer. MANY satisfying crashing and breaking sounds, much controlled release of destructive energy, and no let down afterwards, picking up tiny shards of stuff!

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Don't know where you are but here in the UK lots of supermarkets have little pots of bulbs for sale for not very much - so you can buy a pot with eg hyacinths and watch the flowers come out

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Also recommend putting on some loud joyful music and having a 1-2 min dance it out

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Also recommend putting on some loud joyful music and having a 1-2 min dance it out

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Feb 26, 2020Liked by Nicole Cliffe

Same here. Chin up-- we're all in the soup together.

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I like to take the longest, hottest shower imaginable, and have my warm comfy jammies ready to be put on when I get out (it's cold where I am). Then I like to head to bed and say "maybe tomorrow will be easier" and go to sleep.

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Do something nice for yourself! Even if it's just a few dollars, doing something to "spoil" myself is always a little pick-me-up. Get that oat milk latte instead of the regular coffee or buy the fancy architecture magazine at the check-out stand. I think of all the thoughtful things I might do for a friend and then you know, try to be my own friend too. Hang in there!

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Aw, sorry you are going through a rough patch! Some go-to pick-me-ups: change your sheets, tidy your living space for 10 minutes, pay a bill, brush and floss your teeth, make a plan to look forward to.

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I watch my favorite sitcoms that i've seen a million times. I know its lame but its like a 22 minute hug with a close friend

Happy music

I cross something easy off my mental to do list for a small win

I basically do anything I can to get some positive chemicals flowing that will lead to some sort of momentum of good things

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Late night talk show interviews with Kate McKinnon, John Mulaney, Bill Hader or Andy Samberg. They are so funny and light.

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I find attempting to treat myself with the kindness and attention that I would treat a beloved friend helps. For me this often means making myself a meal I like. Or scrubbing my bathroom because if my best friend were distressed and sad, I would totally scrub her bathroom for her (or do her dishes or whatever task that feels low effort and yet absolutely impossible).

Or taking myself for a walk.

Or sitting down and painting or embroidering something. I'm suddenly tempted to stitch myself a sampler that reads "Busy hands/Happy heart" which is just ghastly but also extremely true for me.

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Hi, I'm in the same boat! I'm a big fan of watching something that lets me externalize/project my sadness and stress - depressing documentaries, sad TV shows, long histories of terrible world conflicts, etc. YMMV, of course.

I also highly recommend doing the legs-up-the-wall pose for 10 minutes to get your brain to calm the eff down. It feels stupid that it works, but I swear it does.

Touching something soft is also a good way to trick my dumb brain that things are ok - a pet, a soft blanket, a lovely tshirt, just grab onto it and hold on.

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Ooh, I'm with you. I hope things are looking up soon! My favorite things that help are cat videos (I so highly recommend the blog Love and Hisses for excellent kitten and cat related content); listening to the Hamilton soundtrack (I made an edited playlist so that doesn't have most of the sad songs), getting or making myself a hot chocolate, laying on the floor, watching Great British Baking Show or Bon Appetit's shows on YouTube (Gourmet Makes with Claire is SO CHARMING). Generally going for a walk or having tea with a friend helps (though I tend to want to hunker down alone when things are tough.) I also really like the meditation/mindfulness app Insight Timer and often listen to a particular guided meditation called "I am safe" when I'm feeling extra anxious. Hang in there!!!

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It's generally the absolutely last thing I *want* to do when I feel down, but a little exercise always helps me. Even just going for a walk outside with a podcast or music I like, or doing some youtube Yoga in the living room, or whatever.

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I rage-cleaned my bathroom after my team lost to a major rival on a buzzer beater a few weeks ago. I'm still mad, but proud of myself for channeling that energy elsewhere (after I punched a pillow for a while)

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This is going to sound stupid but watching old music videos on youtube usually cheers me up. Also rewatching the Cavs win the NBA title.

If the weather at all permits, go outside! Running, biking, weeding the garden, or even just walking always gives me a little boost. Hang in there! I'm rooting for you!

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Going to the ballet always makes me feel better. It's nice to see and hear such beauty when things are stressful and ugly and tiresome.

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Feb 26, 2020Liked by Nicole Cliffe

How do people even make decisions?

I'm finishing my Bachelor's, which turned out to be General Studies w/a social science focus and an English minor after *mumble mumble* years of nomadic lifestyle and dropping out.

I have a job right now I really like as a technical writer. Personally speaking, I think my writing is fine, but I could use some other professional skills, so I'm considering a Master's.

I could just do a MA in technical communications but that doesn't feel like it would be adding anything.

An MLIS with a focus on the information science side is probably the most interesting to me and provides the theoretical background I'm lacking (basically I don't want to be a librarian like in a school, but knowing how to classify and organize and retain data is something I do A LOT and I work in health care so obviously we care about that A LOT). The research background would also be useful.

A MS in Health Informatics would do wonders for my resume but is very heavy comp sci and I'm picking up a lot of the technical stuff I need (e.g. SQL, Python) through self-study, so I don't know if that's a great fit.

An MBA with focus on Project Management would be good, project management is becoming an interest of mine, but there's a lot of training I can do through work (and am doing) instead so that just feels like doubling up.

An MS/MA in Instructional Design sounds interesting and I think a lot about how to train my coworkers since I am doing a LOT of that, but those degrees feel like they're more for teachers and professors than "How do I get my programmers to actually use the Wiki they swore they've always wanted and don't use?"

Just ughhhhhh.

Ironically I have very little experience planning my life because I was suicidal for my teen years so didn't really think about my future. My mother is legit crazy and codependent so every school out of state became WE CAN'T AFFORD THAT, so I just sorta wandered into the one college we had locally for a couple years, then dropped out and bounced around the country for the next 15 years or so.

I really don't get how anyone decides anything.

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Some of your interests sound related to the field of knowledge management, which is horrifically covered in buzzwords and corporate jargon but is basically about effectively organizing, using, and communicating information in an organizational setting. Might be worth looking into certificates for it and see if it would be your jam and if it would get you the knowledge you need? The 'how do I get people to adopt a system?' problem is definitely a knowledge management thing.

I also do not know how to make decisions and haven't even gotten as far as you on the deciding what higher education to pursue track, so, uh, take everything I say with a grain of salt, but we appear to be interested in many of the same things!

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Yes, thank you, this actually turned out to be roughly the field I was looking for/want to eyeball more.

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Maybe this won't help, but I have been eying the Masters of Information and Knowledge Strategy at Columbia for quite a while. It sounds like a more applicable program to what you really want to study and do? I'm really impressed with their program.

It can be really hard to make a decision for me when there are a lot of good options. I think your instincts look on point, tbh, you've correctly sized up those other programs. I'm sure whichever decision you make, you'll make the most of it.

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Yeah with Kelly's and your help and some poking around, this is the kind of thing I want to do. Obviously I have to do some narrowing but this is the area with less of the CompSci. Thank you!

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I am terrible at doing anything I don’t enjoy for any period of time and so far I’ve made my choices by figuring out what would be most enjoyable to do next that also has many options after that I would also enjoy. There’s plenty of careers/jobs I think I would be good at/love having but the path to getting there wouldn’t be fun or the chance of making it to that level is low. Navigating that way has served me well so far, but I’m in by late 20s in a PhD program so take all that with a grain of salt!

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Yeah I simply cannot do anything I don't have an interest in or find relevant. It's part of the reason for my eccentric school career and academic background. So the CompSci stuff might be better from an employment perspective but, like, if I'm sitting there like "ugh i could burn through this on CodeAcademy in a week" I'm just going to shut down. It's a flaw I wish I could overcome, but I can't!

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Feb 26, 2020Liked by Nicole Cliffe

The prompt of "Replace a word from the first line of a book with 'hot pocket heiress'" resulted in:

In a hole in the ground, there lived a Hot Pockets heiress. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a hot-pocket-hole, and that means comfort.

which then birthed a whole Tolkien replacement thread.

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Feb 26, 2020Liked by Nicole Cliffe

We are currently dealing with a huge dispute with our contractor who we found out was unlicensed (we are noob home owners and just didn’t understand! He was highly recommended! We were fools. 😭). Anyway, luckily California is extremely strict about unlicensed contractors deserving no money whatsoever. But the effort to recoup our money and just emotional toll of dealing with the arrogant male hothead— anxiety city!

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Feb 26, 2020Liked by Nicole Cliffe

That dress is gorgeous. You will be all powerful in it. Please use that power gently and wisely (I have no worries on that score)

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Tweet I saw that made me go ooh: "'People in therapy are often in therapy to deal with people in their lives who won't go to therapy.' Whew! I saw this quote on Instagram earlier and I had to share it."

Another tweet, also about therapy. I love it because it's just such a mental picture: "therapist goes on vacation for multiple weeks and the skeleton manning the ship inside my brain starts taking day trips out to sea on a motorboat and comes back holding a pile of algae and shouting IS THIS ANYTHING and I’m like no dude that is NOT ours, put that back immediately"

Tweet: "A friend once said to me “I want a partner who isn’t amazed by me” and at first I was like “girl, what?” But she explained she didn’t want to feel like the amazing, superhero in the room. She wanted a partner who saw her, could handle her, and wasn’t mystified by who she was."

What color is your name? A synesthesia project: https://elemental.medium.com/what-color-is-your-name-a-new-synesthesia-project-will-show-you-51bb3f0dc638

Also, blacktherapistsrock on Instagram has been reading my diary recently and posting about it, apparently.

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My friend has synesthesia and she said it was almost like cheating for remembering math or science equations! Like... "hmmmm... needs a little more blue, oh! I was forgetting that factor of 2."

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Don't different people with synesthesia associate letters with different colors from each other, though? (I remember two of my friends arguing about the color of 2 at one point haha)

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Yes, that's my understanding. It's interesting to see what the author perceives but it's not universal.

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The synesthesia link is super interesting. I've been typing in the names of everyone I know for the last five minutes.

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I did the same thing, and it was interesting that the colors of the letters changed depending on the letters around them.

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Feb 26, 2020Liked by Nicole Cliffe

NICOLE! They just announced that the revival of Oklahoma is coming to Toronto in the next Mirvish season. (I thought you should know.)

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Feb 26, 2020Liked by Nicole Cliffe

CAPES! Capes forever. Capes for everyone. That'll be my campaign slogan someday.

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Feb 26, 2020Liked by Nicole Cliffe

I have been struggling with figuring out my food sensitivities and it feels like a puzzle where someone is purposefully cutting the connecting bits off some pieces and throwing them in a wood chipper, BUT I have made really great progress in the last year. So, ups and downs. Does anyone have links to their favorite recipe websites - I need to take a break from Serious Eats (e.g. blogs, NYT cooking type things, I just need new things to try).

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Smitten Kitchen! She has so many recipes and I feel like I always go back to her. I'm lucky that my library has a lot of cookbooks as eBooks, so I sometimes take a bunch out and flip through them on my computer. I find looking through cookbooks to be more manageable than looking through a whole cooking blog! America's test kitchen has a lot of cookbooks for specific kind of cooking (one pan, dutch oven etc). I've basically only been cooking from Indian-ish these days.

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Budget Bytes and Smitten Kitchen are my favourites.

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I am not sure what your dietary needs are but some of my current favorites (Just throwing it all out there in case one sticks but if not, Sorry!):

Forks over Knives (plant based)

Bon Apetit

Healthyish

Blue Zones

Thug Kitchen

Food 52

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Feb 26, 2020Liked by Nicole Cliffe

This dress is an absolute mood. Would love to flounce into my next meeting in it. Dress for the job you want as they say !

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What job is that dress for? Rich divorcée looking for her next boy/girl/nb toy?

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Ah! The possibilities. Today It’s Eccentric former magazine editor with a mysterious past and a heart of gold.

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Well it hasn't been a great week - I can't bring myself to check my bank account because I know it will be in the red, and I've run headfirst into the new job learning curve and am generally feeling like an overall failure.

BUT - I get paid Friday; I am getting great support from work in terms of getting me up to speed, and I know all the problems I'm having are fixable; and I have started going to the (free) gym in my building during the day.

Anyone have any good affirmations that have been soothing them lately? Or, alternately, sufficiently depressing documentary movies/TV series?

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author

Email me so we can get you in the black before the fees add up

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Feb 26, 2020Liked by Nicole Cliffe

<3 you're good people, Nicole. I've emailed - it's all good now.

but for anyone with spare cash, my neighborhood barista was murdered this weekend and his family is fundraising for funeral costs

https://www.gofundme.com/f/h8svmk-kenny039s-funeral-expenses

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Also just started a new job and the learning curve is a real mindfuck, so solidarity from over here on that front.

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Whew your job experience sounds just like mine! For shows, did you see Unbelievable? Not a documentary, but based on a true story and so so powerful.

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Ah thank you for the reminder! I was captivated by the article it was based on.

Fingers crossed we can both get ahead of the curve soon!

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Feb 26, 2020Liked by Nicole Cliffe

That is a dress for swanning about! So elegant!

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Feb 26, 2020Liked by Nicole Cliffe

You may not be on twitter but tweet length newsletters are also good! Also the dress is fire!

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Is it a weird thing to want to be remembered? I don't mean in terms of like grand legacies. But for people to remember things about you, your birthday, things you like, all without needing to ask them to. Maybe that's selfish. Like, no one's a mindreader, of course! Maybe I just feel stupid asking a version of "can you please remember me?".

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My partner of 25 years died suddenly in august and that's all I've been doing, just reaching out to anyone and everyone and begging them to remember her. I talk about her to anyone who'll listen. I want everyone to remember laugh. Her smarts. Her heart ... that trace of Wisconsin twang she had after decades in CA .... it is not weird at all.

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Oh, I'm so sorry. She sounds like a truly lovely person. Haha, love some Wisconsin twang. <3

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I totally get this. It's silly, but I recently traveled a long distance for a friend's baby shower. She and her husband hosted a dinner party for family and friends the night we arrived. They served salmon, and I absolutely hate it. I don't eat any fish; I'm not allergic, but it makes me nauseous. I didn't say anything, because it would be so rude and petulant of me, since they prepared everything and it really was very lovely. But I couldn't help but feel bad that she couldn't remember that one major thing about me. Sigh. The potatoes and salad were delicious.

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Right! And I feel like it's not a big ask for a friend to remember something like that. At the same time, there's this sort of guilt. Like, "am I being selfish for expecting them to remember this about me?". Because I get that people have their own interior lives and things they're dealing with, so it's fine to forget. So idk! Existing as a person around other people is strange and unknowable.

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It's not at all weird! We all want people we like and care about to remember us. I've worked on only expecting birthday-level detail from, like, my parents, husband and closest friends, but finding connections with people is important. Maybe the best way you can do that is try to be that person for others?

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That's true. I could always be better about that with other people in my life. <3

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Feb 26, 2020Liked by Nicole Cliffe

That dress does kinda remind me of the bottle Halston cologne from the 90s.

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author

The documentary has an amazing portion devoted to that bottle!!! (Elsa Peretti did it.)

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author

The manufacturers were so pissed bc you couldn’t pour the perfume in normally bc of the slant but Halston was very “that sounds like a you problem” and he was right, it made a FORTUNE.

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Feb 26, 2020Liked by Nicole Cliffe

I remember my cousin buying it and I couldn't get over how strange it looked. Halston was also the first designer that I remember dying from AIDS.

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It was awful, and he isolated himself as it took hold. His models loved him so much and kept calling and writing and he was determined to not be seen like that. I wept buckets. He also used SO many black models in each show when other designers carefully had exactly one. He was the first designer to put Iman on the runway.

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Wow!! Is that on doc on Netflix?

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No, right now you still have to rent it from ITunes or, you know, fly Delta.

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Feb 26, 2020Liked by Nicole Cliffe

Oh my god this dress is perfect

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Feb 26, 2020Liked by Nicole Cliffe

Omg please share pics with us when you wear the dress it is gorgeous

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I am obsessed with the Netflix show Sex Education, send help (I know I am late to the party, I just finished S2E2 last night and I want to binge it all but I have work and other things to do and also each episode is like an hour long! Which is great for content but bad for binge-watching)

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That is fucking amazing and I am jealous.

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Feb 26, 2020Liked by Nicole Cliffe

That dress is just lovely.

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Feb 26, 2020Liked by Nicole Cliffe

GAH I need that dress

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Feb 26, 2020Liked by Nicole Cliffe

Oh I love that dress SO much but I am a sucker for a cape.

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Feb 26, 2020Liked by Nicole Cliffe

New dress is great! Am forgoing social media for Lent (with the exception of the one work IG account I handle), please send help.

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Feb 26, 2020Liked by Nicole Cliffe

Ooo. The dress is beautiful. (It would look amazing on me👀

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Feb 26, 2020Liked by Nicole Cliffe

OMG you’re going to look like Jackie Kennedy 😍

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Feb 26, 2020Liked by Nicole Cliffe

It's a fabulous dress! Cannot comment on anything else rn

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Feb 26, 2020Liked by Nicole Cliffe

Holy moly that's a beautiful dress.

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Feb 26, 2020Liked by Nicole Cliffe

That dress is divine.

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This is the greatest dress I have ever seen. That's all I have to say!!

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Feb 26, 2020Liked by Nicole Cliffe

That dress is breathtaking and iconic and makes me wish I was a femme! I have no good jokes just praise for The Dress!!! (I have no good jokes is my ex-Catholic Lenten mood this year maybe)

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My screaming into the wind this week is about my whole family dying at once. My mom's little brother died very unexpectedly in August, and he was absolutely my favorite, most adored uncle. My (maternal) grandma is in hospice right now, at the end of a journey with Alzheimer's and cancer, and we expect her to go within days, and don't expect my grandfather to last much longer after that. Tuesday while sitting with my grandma, I got a call from my dad - his brother died, so now I'm heading to a funeral 4 hours away tomorrow but hoping to get back fast to support my mother through her mother passing. I guess the benefit of everyone dying all at once is that I'll hopefully have a long stretch where I won't have any new grieving to contend with.

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I'm so sorry. Get sleep when you can. If there's opportunities to laugh, even if the humor is dark, take them. It's ok to have a bright moment even when stuff is awful. (And if there aren't any, that's ok too.)

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Oh, we definitely laughed after my grandfather yelled "I've got to get this thing out of my dick!" while trying to tear out his catheter in the hospital a few weeks ago. :) (thank you!)

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I mean, we were kind: we stepped out of the room first.

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You're in my thoughts, this is so shitty. *virtual hugs* <3

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I am so sorry. Please remember to take some time to care for yourself though all of this. Drink lots of water, too.

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