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Oh, Steve pretends to be a football coach and calls me "25" while delivering positive or negative feedback on my actions. "Not impressed, 25" or "25, I think you're starting to get it." I find it...oddly motivating. I love praise.

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Mar 25, 2020Liked by Nicole Cliffe

My little brother was in a mood with my mum once and said “Mother, if that is in fact your real name...”

Its a treasured family in joke now

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Mar 25, 2020Liked by Nicole Cliffe

In the Before Times, when we would go out in the world, I’d ask my husband “Do I look inspirational enough?” because of the many, many people who have told me or him that I was inspiring (because I was existing in public in my wheelchair (?!?!) (people say strange things to and about disabled persons.)

If I put on makeup, or clothes that he likes, or anything minor, he’ll say that I’m inspiring.

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Mar 25, 2020Liked by Nicole Cliffe

I am currently supervising 6 grad students. As much as I can tell over Zoom, 1 seems to be fine. 1 hated my guts before this and I can't get anything from him beyond that he still hates me. 1 is psychologically overwhelmed but is trying so hard. 1 has now had to take over the care of her (very young) younger siblings, and I know her family was struggling for money before this; despite this, she is also trying so hard. 2 have completely stopped responding to emails.

I tell them all that I'm proud of them, that they have NO PRESSURE from me and that I will fight anyone at the university of their behalf, that I am here for whatever they need for their research but that their and their families' physical and mental health comes first, but...I am powerless. I can't do anything to meaningfullly slow the pandemic or improve the economy (other than staying the eff home and donating all that that I can). My efforts to change university policy are fruitless. I can't even convince the grants funding these students to give them more money or more time on their contracts.

It's hard for any of us to know what to do.

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Mar 25, 2020Liked by Nicole Cliffe

My family has an insufferable in-joke, that managed to survive past my parents' divorce (for about 25 years now):

during regular family car trips to 5-states-away, we played 20 Questions, as you do. but my dad's a music librarian/classical musician, and my mom is also an equal nerd to that period of music, so sometimes there would be items specifically between the two of them (and not 9-12yo me or then tiny brother).

during one game, my mother got incredibly close to the composer that Dad was playing, had it on the tip of her tongue, but could not get it for the life of her. Dad was then incredibly smug for about hour an hour, until, until she yelled during a moment of silence miles down the road: "CLAUDIO MONTEVERDI!!!!"

...so, for the last two decades, Mom, brother and me have referred to those phrases and words *just* inaccessible to the brain-mouth connection as "down there with Claudio Monteverdi".

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Mar 25, 2020Liked by Nicole Cliffe

When my middle sister was dating her hs sweetheart (eventual husband) she once said, dreamily, "Gabe can do annnnnnnnything." They're married now with 5 kids but my ENTIRE family says it as often as possible.

It drives her to fury but it makes everyone else laugh.

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Mar 25, 2020Liked by Nicole Cliffe

This is a long complaint, every cell in my body is exhausted and demoralized. I’m so sorry.

I’m a single mom to a four-year-old who never stops talking and never stops touching me and never, never lets me walk a step on my own. I haven’t thought a private thought in 12 days, since we’ve been in quarantine. I love him so much, but he climbs into my bed multiple times a night, opens the bathroom door to talk or play ‘I spy’, and pinches me or throws a tantrum if I try to talk to anyone else(on Zoom/facetime, I’m not a monster). My skin is starting to crawl from being touched and I want to weep all the time. It’s just us two.

Also I’m freaked out about my career. I am 75% done with a student teaching program, and if I could have lasted in class two more days before going into quarantine, I would have completed the videos I needed to submit to my state for my credential. As it is, the commissioning body is just saying we have a year after we’ve paid, which I have to submit our tests, but they won’t adjust any requirements to account for needing to teach online. I’m 37 years old and it took an elderly relative dying for me to be able to afford finally leaving awful, abusive administrative assistant positions so that I could take a year off working to finally become a 7th grade history teacher, and it’s looking like that work is all down the drain, as my master’s program is telling us we will now need to do at least another full semester of student teaching (for free, and after completing nearly a full school year of unpaid student teaching) to complete our program. Truthfully I don’t know if I can last that long without an income, and I’m terrified of having to go back to being an admin, a job where I was having daily migraines and would occasionally get stress back-aches so bad that I could only walk with canes and in fact had a three year stretch where I was in pain every moment of the day and night.

In the meantime, I am the only person who can watch my son and he needs so much constant attention but I can’t even turn my computer on to zoom my academic advisor or mentor teacher without Him having a full meltdown on Camera for the duration of the call, let alone trying to write my masters thesis or any one of the seemingly innumerable assignments my department has seen fit to put on our plate to account for classes no longer being in person. And we are expected to zoom in for eight hour classes on Saturdays with continuous attention and participation, and I have no idea how I’m going to do that and not be murdered by my son who will definitely not stand for me focusing my attention elsewhere for a continuous 8 hours. But class participation is mandatory and will result in a 10% drop in my grade if I don’t show (you must maintain a B average or the program will drop all funding)

At this point I just don’t know what to do, and I miss my kids (students), and I miss being able to shut the door and be by myself for even a moment, and I feel like I must be failing my son if he is so fragile that he needs continuous reassurance that I am still paying total attention to him. So I cook and I play, and i feel like a rage-ful failure, and that’s it.

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Mar 25, 2020Liked by Nicole Cliffe

I met my husband at a party a month before college graduation. It was a party full of grad students who seemed “so old.” I was there with a friend who was dating one of the grad students (he worked for a cable company on the side and therefore would forever be know as Rob, The Cable Guy). My husband (also a college senior, but an old soul and friends with the grad students as they were all part of the university ski club) appeared across the room. I do somewhat believe in soul mates because my friends didn’t bat an eye, but I thought this express thought the minute I saw him 25 feet away: “That is the most attractive man I’ve ever seen. Wait, he probably knows it. Quick, look away and seem uninterested!” Turns out he thought similar things about me because mere seconds after I looked away I heard a voice right beside me say “Hello. So do you know who Sacajawea was?” It was him. Without missing a beat I said “She led Lewis and Clark through west with a baby on her back.” We both laughed and this, my husband swears, is when he knew I was the one. Nearly 17 years and three kids later we still laugh every time someone mentions Sacajawea. (I still cannot get a straight answer out of him as to why this was his opening line. He doesn’t really know either. But it worked!)

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Mar 25, 2020Liked by Nicole Cliffe

My father is a notorious cheapskate and a snob. He once made me tour the University of Washington’s campus while I was actually in college (at WWU) with the hopes I’d transfer and have a “better degree.” We entered the museum gallery on campus which was showing Homer Winslow(?) paintings. My dad couldn’t use his school ID and he freaked out that the admission fee was $8.

“EIGHT DOLLARS? EIiiigghhht DOLLars? Eight. Dollars?”

Needless to say, we did not see any Homer Winslows that day.

So now when he’s being cheap (always) I just yell “EIGHT! DOLLARS!”

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Mar 25, 2020Liked by Nicole Cliffe

My favorite in-joke is that when a train pulls up just as we arrive to the platform or a light changes just as we get to a street corner, I say, "You know what I always say!" and my children, resentful but well-trained, reply, "You gotta call ahead for these things."

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Mar 25, 2020Liked by Nicole Cliffe

One of my favorite family in jokes is that, on a family trip in 1980 with my *mother’s side* of the family, my *father* told my aunt she “hadn’t been part of this family long enough to make any decisions.” (The delicious irony!)

So

a) clearly she has refused to make any decisions since then and

b) whenever we don’t agree with someone else’s opinion we tell them they haven’t been part of the family long enough to make any decisions.

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Mar 25, 2020Liked by Nicole Cliffe

Hello friends!

It’s not much of a time to hold celebrations, but I just found out that I got the promotion at work that I’ve been hoping for. Can I tell you about it, please?

In my soon-to-be-former role, I write jargon-laden procedures for software development. I got the job to get my foot in the door with my state’s government, and because it meant better pay. Plus, I always wanted the chance to work as a data analyst, and it seemed like a step in the right direction.

Well, 6 months later, I’ve been promoted to the data analysis team! Looking back, it’s possible I could’ve been hired directly into a position like this one instead of starting in a less technical role. But I was fresh out of college back when I applied for the procedure-writing job, and I lacked confidence, and I sweat straight through my dress in the interview. I didn’t feel ready then, y’know?

In contrast, when I was interviewing for the promotion (on Friday the 13th, no less), I felt totally capable and confident. I brought a portfolio of my work. I prepared knock-out answers to all the common interview questions in advance. I felt like a dog with a bone— I wanted this job, and I’d already sunk my teeth in by making it to the interview stage. It was to be mine.

Last night, my partner and I popped a bottle of champagne and played Minecraft to celebrate. As one does in these strange times.

(I’ve been fortunate enough to be able to telecommute, so life has been a game of cycling between the “fun screen” and the “work screen”. I expect the prescription on my glasses will have shifted from +2.00 to +5.00 by the end of quarantine.)

I’m thinking about rewatching old PBS kids shows from my early childhood, as tonight’s after-work “fun screen”. Do you have any favorite PBS kids shows? They’re all great.

Thank you for listening,

Annie

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Mar 25, 2020Liked by Nicole Cliffe

My dad's father died before we were born so we've grown up on "Melvin Stories" which all seem too outlandish to be true, but we have corroborated most of them. Including the time he chained himself to the porch with the dog's leash and barked at school children as they walked by. He forgot about the chain and tried to run after them on all fours and got yanked backward.

Other inside jokes include the time my mom said "nurber" instead of "murder" after a glass of wine and the time I, as a college student, very confidently said to my high school-aged sister "psh, what are you talking about rocks don't even HAVE atoms." (I got atoms and cells confused.)

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Mar 25, 2020Liked by Nicole Cliffe

The comment itself has since disappeared from the internet, but several years ago, I was reading the comments on an enchilada recipe, and one of the comments was something to the effect of "I've never cooked with a lime before, but my family loved it! It made the dish taste so authentic!". Now every single time we use a lime for anything (which is often, because limes are great), either my boyfriend or I will talk about how AUTHENTIC it tastes.

(https://www.blueapron.com/recipes/summer-squash-enchiladas-with-creamy-lime-tomato-rice this is the enchilada recipe. Use a can of Rotel instead of plain tomato sauce, and add green sauce on top. You'll thank me.)

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Mar 25, 2020Liked by Nicole Cliffe

In college, my parents called for help using their VCR. Of course no video calls, so I'm trying to describe what to do and yell, "Its the INTERNATIONAL SIGN FOR PAUSE HOW DO YOU NOT RECOGNIZE IT???" So now when they call for technology help they always work "the international sign for pause" into the conversation. ||

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I don't have any in-jokes because my fellow inmates have no sense of humor (dog, two cats). HOWEVER I HAVE A GOOD THING: my host brother from Kyrgyzstan, who was 7 when I left and who was my absolute best bud/partner in crime, messaged me on IG yesterday morning IN ENGLISH. He always swore he would never learn English just to spite me, and now here he is. MY HEART. I want to go back and see them again so badly.

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