Now, anyone can participate in threads, even those without paid subscriptions! I know it’s late, and a Friday, but let’s play around with it a little. Tell us about your week or your weekend plans or anything you like!
I really am impressed at how quickly the Substack team listened to my concerns about not letting everyone participate in threads. They fixed it in under a week!
DO NOT FORGET that if you get buried in emails, expand the full email and just hit "mute this thread" and then you can just refresh this page to see new comments.
I’m so excited for my first mother’s day! Last year I went to have my first ultrasound the day before, and the sonographer told me I’d had a silent miscarriage. My first mother’s day I cried all day. It took two weeks until they told me it was a mistake and she was still alive.
Now she’s a (mostly) healthy 4 month old, and I can’t believe my luck.
My back is currently mad at me because today I moved the 80-pound air conditioner like 2 feet to the left and then carried a bag of books.
My back's just an asshole like that though, sometimes it's like "REMEMBER THAT ONE TIME YOU SNEEZED EARLIER TODAY? YEAH FUCK YOU." Once it didn't like the way I leaned over to put on pants and I was in pain for days??? Sometimes I wish it was a part I could have removed.
I am so jealous! She is coming to NC and I keep debating buying tickets. I absolutely made my mom bring me to see her in high school and I do not regret it
Two and half years after a terrible, heartbreaking divorce, (I think I cried daily the first year, eventually tapering off), had my first date this week. And realized all the positives of living alone, which I could not have imagined contemplating happily two years ago.
My divorce was terrrrrrrrrrrible and took forever and I hated every minute of it, and that's before I lost both my grandmothers in the eighteen months that it spanned. But 8 months after that final paper was signed I went on my first date with the man I would marry five years later. It's a hard process, but taking that first step is essential. Best to you.
In the space of six months - I lost my job, my marriage, my dog and my dad. It's been seven years and I finally feel ready to really date. And I'm dating someone I like a lot but boy do I also like being single too.
Nicole I came here to tell you that Thanks to your gentle guidance I found a dentist here in Philly that gave me a glass of wine, Valium, and nitrous for a routine cleaning. I also got headphones and a stress ball shaped like a pair of teeth. I probably would have gotten a hug if I’d asked
If you need this don’t feel bad about it. Dentistry is medieval torture and it’s okay to want a dentist that is kind and supportive. (I know it is a form of privilege to expect sensitivity in healthcare but I also want gentle dentistry and OB-Gyn to be the norm for everyone)
My dentist gasses me and puts Teen Titans Go on the ceiling for me every time I need a filling. I highly recommend Teen Titans Go to anyone who is on nitrous. It is the funniest thing I ever see.
We invited our very sweet neighbor who just became a widower over for homemade pizza. He's not used to being in an empty house yet, so we thought we'd make sure he had some company.
I only recently came out to my family, and my cousin who's hosting mother's day brunch this year just texted to invite my girlfriend in case she didn't get along with her family and needed a safe place to spend the holiday. I feel like my heart grew three sizes!
I'm getting married next weekend at a beautiful entirely outdoor venue and the forecast is currently calling for rain! Which is so rare this time of year in CA that meteorologists are tweeting about it. Would it be wrong to ask for dry vibes to my poor drought-ridden state on just this one day? I'm asking for dry vibes on just this one day.
I got married last month at an outdoor venue and it rained (sprinkle at first, total downpour during dinner). It changed all the plans last minute AND it was the best day. The rain made it fun. You’ll be okay!
One tip: we bought a bunch of umbrellas on Amazon the week of the wedding, both some big golf umbrellas and a ton of cheap multi pack pocket umbrellas, to put out for free use as needed. We ended up only using the golf umbrellas and having them live at the edge the tent for anyone who needed to borrow one to walk to the restroom. Highly recommend that course of action.
(This also spurred my mom to do an “umbrella dance” in a clearing on the dance floor while people cheered her on. In other words, you’ll have fun no matter what.)
Thanks all for the vibes and stories of fun at rainy weddings. I keep getting the "rain is good luck!!!" response, but my concern is people having a good time, not marriage quality!
One of the most fun weddings i was ever at (and in!) occurred in a HUGE downpour. We were on an island on a lake and the power even went out for a bit. It was the best.
The Monday and Tuesday before my wedding we were supposed to get a whole hurricane here in DC. My in-laws shipped galoshes to our apartment. It was dry and we had cocktail our outside. It may still be dry and if it’s not you will still have an amazing time! Best wishes.
Yep! I know for work reasons (I work in government). Our problem now is that we have nowhere to store all the rain/snow melt we have. AH, California, so expensive and so fickle with the water.
Listen, I went on a SUNSET HORSEBACK RIDE and had two pina coladas and listened I a truly awful Eagles cover band to celebrate 6 months in remission! Not having active cancer is pretty goddamn good.
it's so easy to get overwelmed with the garbage fire of the current *gestures wildly* so I found a jewish group that hangs outside a mosque at nyu, welcoming muslims to midday friday prayers (and, at least for me, keeping an eye out to help if anything goes wrong). It feels good to smile and share greetings, putting my body on the line in a very quiet way, announcing that america is for all of us.
I'm going to meet a dog I may adopt tomorrow and I'm so excited! She's 7 years old, 10 pounds, a cuddler/lap dog and apparently gets very attached to her human(s) after a couple weeks to warm up. I'm hoping we're a good fit and I can take her home soon!
Oh Nicole this is wonderful! I was still shy during the Toast days, but lurking brought me such joy and I'm thrilled Open Threads are back, as it were. I'm spending the weekend writing fanfiction and trying to decide how to wrap the "Luncheon of the Boating Party" mug I bought my mom for Sunday.
Different, but related, I recently hired a cat behaviorist to work with my two fuzzballs on maybe being friends again, please, after a disastrous boarding experience (also separation anxiety, because one of them makes herself ill when I leave town on occasion). She had *so many* ideas for us, which I'm still in the process of implementing, but it's so nice not to feel like I'm totally at the end of my rope anymore. All this to say: I'm sending good vibes your way, and I really hope the psychic can help you and your cat! Do let us know how it goes!
I had an animal psychic tell my Fjord Horse he was NOT being sold, merely being sent to a trainer to get started under saddle and he was coming home in 3 months time. She told me all kinds of stories about his thoughts (“he’s very proud of his hind end but is confused over his shoulders, talks VERY politely, is a bit full of himself”) and even if some people believed it to be all nonsense (it wasn’t, she nailed it), it was worth.every.penny.
Oh man, I need one to tall my 10-month old shelter pup that she doesn't need to be afraid of my husband and also that it's okay to do her business outside.
I'm going on a third date with a cool dude tomorrow and we're gonna see Detective Pikachu and I'm sooooo excited! Partially for the date with the guy but mostly for Detective Pikachu.
I know me too! I thought it was gonna be bad when I first heard about it but the trailers look so good! And that cute dancing Pikachu vid that came out yesterday is just perfect!
I'm in the process of selling/donating most of my stuff and putting a few prized tchotchkes (and saute pans) into storage ... I'll be travelling through South and Central America over the next few months and I hope to settle somewhere in those lands!
It's the master Kondo event of my lifetime, for sure: I parted with a retro style chrome dining room table today, and it's sad to see the big empty spot in front of the patio door. But... adventure (and misadventure) await on another continent, and I shall in fact Climb Every Mountain with the help of a donkey or two.
Hi Nicole! My name is also Nicole! I just finished my law school semester and tomorrow I'm traveling to Hawaii for the first time with some friends! We are all rising 3Ls and all very, very ready to be sipping pina coladas on a beach.
Whoa, this is a game changer! I’ve been thinking about starting up an estate jewelry column again but have been stymied by 1. The loss of all Hairpin/Toast-like environments online, and 2. No way to have a comment thread/community with a newsletter, which was always the best part of my Hairpin columns. So hmmmmmmmmmm I definitely need to think about this now
oh my god Monica! Please, please, please do this. I have seriously mourned the loss of your estate jewelry column more than almost any other regular aspect of Hairpin/Toast, and still think about some of the pieces you highlighted (those amazing fish-tank earrings for starters). I know the archives are still there, but the comments threads had almost as much juicy, delightful info as the posts. I have so many jewelry related questions I need to ask and no outlet.
True story, I actually bid on those earrings! It was an ordeal to sign up and get "authorized." I hadn't really anticipated that it would be so complicated ... but then I was committed. I think I set my maximum bid at ~$500 over the high estimate. But then of course, they went for something like 10x the estimate. In hindsight not surprising. They were amazeballs! But I'm still mad I didn't have the deep pockets to bring those home.
Monica, please do start a substack newsletter about estate jewelry! My mom and sisters and I loved your column. I need more support for this niche interest. (Or maybe it’s not so niche?) ps Any shop recs in LA?
Hi! I’ve never been to LA so I can’t vouch for the shop itself, but I have seen Craig Evan Small’s booth at antique jewelry shows and he always had great stuff and knowledgeable staff. http://www.craigevansmall.com/
yes I finally walked into erie basin after years of just checking it out online and it was totally because of you and yr rad column! I miss learning so much while reading it!
I have an estate sale jewelry related question actually—I have a 1910s ring that’s my engagement ring. It’s not super fancy, just 9k gold with citrines and white topaz, but one of the stones recently fell out and disappeared. I’m not worried particularly about the expense, but do you have any advice on finding someone who can repair it with 9k gold, which apparently doesn’t exist in the US?
I’d say to ask around your local antique jewelry dealers and jewelers and see who they use for repairs. Someone who is used to dealing with old jewelry may have some old, busted 9k stuff sitting around that they can melt down and use for repairs. Or they might be able to inconspicuously shave some off of the existing ring and use that, but only if the ring is hefty enough to handle it. But definitely get some local recommendations, so you find somebody who knows how to work with old jewelry.
You are my people! I don’t know if or how or when I might get this going, but in the meantime you can still find my old stuff on the Hairpin. Warning: I like tangents, lol https://www.thehairpin.com/tag/estate-jewelry/
Oh yay, that makes me so happy! It’s such an endlessly fascinating thing to collect, and it’s so well suited to the millennial/Gen Z mindset, so keep getting the word out. More people need to know about it!
Headed to a first communion with my dad and grandparents right now. They're both mid 80s, and visibly slowing down, so I'm really glad to be spending this time with them. But also, as a gay man with no intent to start a family, makes me wonder if I'll have someone to drive me to these sorts of things once I can't.
Sorry to be a bit of a bummer! I'm not sure why I'm so melancholy.
I totally hear this, my mother is a bit younger but rapidly declining due to circumstances & my brother helps her out a lot, but neither of us have children & I wonder who will care for us. Not all gays have the gay chosen family of media lore! Your feelings are real, it's okay to be bummed out about this stuff.
I’m sitting on a delayed plane, on the way to visit my best friend so we can go see a band we loved in high school play the kind of show where “our big album hit a milestone year so were gonna play it all the way through.” A couple of our friends from that era will be by our side, as will my partner, who won’t know what to expect but i am excited to share the experience with him.
I am not telling my mom that I’ll be in her greater vicinity, despite it being mother’s day weekend, due to complicated family feelings. I feel conflicted about this, but have decided that this is a trip for me, to do something that makes me feel grounded in who i am and where I’ve been and where i am now, and it is Okay (honestly, Good) to be Selfish about That.
You're doing great! As a veteran of Complicated Family Feelings, it is totally okay to be selfish about that and set the boundaries you need right now. I hope you have an amazing time at the show!
Today is my 39th birthday and I am about to spend part of it playing D&D with friends. So far today I have gotten my hair cut and dyed, eating some amazing grouper piccatta, and have packed 70 of 115 fanzines to mail. The zine is Yuri on Ice related because I am obvious.
Unpaid subscriber here, testing this new thread thingy. I just rescued a succulent from the clearance section of the hardware store, so my plan for the weekend is to repot it and get some cuttings going. Maybe also refinish this massive old desk that came with the house and that I've been using in all its scratched glory.
Ohhhh I have a succulent related question if you don’t mind/anyone on the thread knows... my partner knocked one off a window and the poor lil guy’s whole body snapped off at the base. Can they grow new roots at all?
I have no idea! The label just said 'succulent', but a nice reddit commenter thinks it's some type of Echevaria. I'm new to succulents, but pretty excited to see if I can keep this one alive and healthy. (it came with pups too! So cute!)
I'm sitting in a nursing home in Seattle, watching my nephew set up an Alexa for my 91 yr old mom. Everything about her being here sucks but the moments of grace & love in this horrid little room are wonderful.
This Easter I was with the big Italian side of my family and when we ran out of Sinatra my stepmom told Alexa to "play Italian music." She then got SO BEWILDERED when it started playing contemporary pop from Italy (we later corrected to "Alexa play Pavarotti.")
I actually worked on Alexa pre-release and this kind of thing is my fav. I love how the demographic of who uses it and how they use it is 200% not what anyone expected.
Music on demand for the radio generation is truly a blessing. Watching my Papa born in 1921 jam out to Pandora a few years ago was *tiny chef hands kiss*
As the mother of a child with Down syndrome, a charmer with tons of intelligence in incredibly different ways than her typical peers, Alexa has been a game changer. We've had one from the beginning, and I immediately saw what it could do for her, speech wise. It's been like having a speech therapist in the house (and in her room). She's had to slow down and annunciate to make her wishes known (usually related to pop music, but she asks great questions), and her speech has caught up with her need to communicate. It's beautiful.
Thanks for sharing! I've been having lots of conflicting feelings on smart devices like the Echo and Google Home, especially around privacy and data safety, but you made a great point! It's really a fascinating issue.
a friend is exploring the full realm of her heritage/Chinese food now after 6 years of being a vegan due to her previous relationship so I've been having SO MUCH FUN introducing her to all the goods in the Bay Area
i'm based in Berkeley, Cantonese background, so I'm not as familiar with the goods in South Bay or the Peninsula. I'm a sucker for Gum Kuo (porridge, really good rice cheung fun, wonton noodles, etc.) and Shooting Star for Hong Kong cafe realness in Oakland Chinatown. Recently stumbled into Napoleon Bakery also in Oakland Chinatown and the egg tarts there are LEGIT.
Previously used to go to Golden Gate Bakery for the egg tarts in SF Chinatown but alas, it's been discovered by Yelp and hipsters. Same goes to Good Mong Kok (takeout dimsum in SF Chinatown) but if you have the patience to wait in line I really do like Good Mong Kok but I haven't been in a while (see: Yelp and hipsters) so I'm not sure if the quality is still the same. My college roommates lived above the fortune cookie factory in Ross Alley for a while post-graduation, so I'd go across the street with them to Wong Lee Bakery which is essentially Good Mong Kok without the crazy lines. They sell 大包 there if you ask which are a rarity these days.
Kowloon Tong Dessert Cafe in the Richmond in SF is my favorite HK-style dessert place in the area.
Daly City/Millbrae have the best true sit-down dimsum places, gf swears by Koi Palace but the line gets ridonkulous. I have not been to Dragon Beaux or Palette Town but I heard Palette Town is just a tourist trap and Instagram friendly.
if you have any suggestions for good dimsum in East Bay plz let me know!
I just had drinks with some of the women from my ex’s friend group whose friendships I was really bummed about losing. They told me they are happy to keep being friends and its made me so happy, I almost cried
I’m recovering from surgery. Had a 30cm ovarian cyst drained and removed. Surgeon is publishing it into a medical journal, lost 15 pounds and 5 inches due to the 6 liters of liquid that was drained!
That's on my to do list as soon as I get a big girl job w/ big girl insurance. I can't imagine the pure luxury of being able to wakeup in the morning and being able to see.
I didn't get a new job (same place I currently work, different job/title) BUT I did awesome at the interview and feel good about the whole thing overall. PLUS I found my missing Kindle after only 2 days of searching, ha!
Planning on hitting the used book sale at a local library tomorrow. Because even though it is possible to have too many books, it really is not possible to have too many books.
I'm probably going to binge watch Tuca & Bertie after dinner tonight while "drunk" on 2-3 (3 being the max, because i'm #old) dark and stormies. Then zen meditation and yoga tomorrow, then a craft fair tomorrow night, then chillin' and GoT on Sunday. I love my LA spinster weekend plans.
I had my hair cut this afternoon and my stylist made a zillion waves in it, which is rather fun, and now I am going to sit outside and paint my toenails and drink blackberry seltzer, and later watch Dead to Me, so I am jazzed about this quiet Friday night.
Detective Pikachu was so good. It was like it taught my brain how to make serotonin again. I saw it for the second time today - and while walking to my seat fell, spilled my whole Dr. Pepper on myself and broke my middle finger. The movie was good enough that I mostly don’t care.
I'm hanging out at the Seattle Ronald Mcdonald House with the family watching Finding Nemo for the third time this month. It's been a great week - our baby had successful heart surgery yesterday
I am playing with my dog and hosting the 2nd to last of my almost decade long game of thrones watch parties. This weeks food theme is Who’s Kingdom? NACHOS!
Next week and ongoing I'll start a Toast old school 'Open Thread' early on Fridays so people can chat.
This is EXACTLY what this feels like to me...Old school Toast 😍! Thank you, thank you, thank you!
This is best news I have heard in years!
I just teared up. Cannot wait to have the Open Thread back on Fridays!
I really am impressed at how quickly the Substack team listened to my concerns about not letting everyone participate in threads. They fixed it in under a week!
This is EXCITING.
it's like the most wholesome place on the whole internet. i am so excited.
Right?! I can't wait!
Oooooh I don’t quite know what’s happening but I am PSYCHED
Thank you, Nicole!
DO NOT FORGET that if you get buried in emails, expand the full email and just hit "mute this thread" and then you can just refresh this page to see new comments.
Or save them forever because those emails are full of beautiful comments!!!
(we know we need to find a way to tone down the emails about without making people miss things)
I cannot find the option to do this? It’s just like and comment, view thread, then unsubscribe. I’m drowning in emails, help!
I’m so excited for my first mother’s day! Last year I went to have my first ultrasound the day before, and the sonographer told me I’d had a silent miscarriage. My first mother’s day I cried all day. It took two weeks until they told me it was a mistake and she was still alive.
Now she’s a (mostly) healthy 4 month old, and I can’t believe my luck.
Happy Mother’s Day to everyone!!
So happy for you!!! Happy mother’s day!!!
I'm so happy things turned around for you. Happy Mother's Day!
Congrats! Enjoy your day.
That's so wonderful!
Xoxo
Happy Mother's Day!!!
I am so happy you got this ending! Happy Mother’s Day!!
I'm so happy for this happy ending. Have a wonderful mother's day
What a story! I’m so glad it ended happy. Happy Mother’s day to you!
I'm so happy for you - Happy Mother's Day!
Oh my goodness that must have been so difficult. Happy Mother’s Day!
Oh my gosh!! So many hearts to this. I’m so sorry about your MC, but so happy for your lil. Xxoo
Hello, my birthday is on Monday I am going to VEGAS to see CELINÉ DION and currently I’m eating cannoli
MY LOVE
Hiiii bb
Happy early birthday! Mine’s on Friday! Have fun seeing Celine, that sounds amazing.
Mine’s next Friday too! I will be in the woods eating cake and skinny dipping.
I honestly feel more strongly about the cannoli, enjoy them!
Christina you will be so close to me and yet still so far away. I hope Celine is amazing!!
I have also pulled muscle in my back sleeping or something? Idk I can’t turn my head right
My back is currently mad at me because today I moved the 80-pound air conditioner like 2 feet to the left and then carried a bag of books.
My back's just an asshole like that though, sometimes it's like "REMEMBER THAT ONE TIME YOU SNEEZED EARLIER TODAY? YEAH FUCK YOU." Once it didn't like the way I leaned over to put on pants and I was in pain for days??? Sometimes I wish it was a part I could have removed.
I hate that! I always think it'll never go back to normal....but it does.
I am leaning on a heating pad, it’s helping!
I kinda enjoy having an excuse for a heating pad...they're so cozy.
I am so jealous! She is coming to NC and I keep debating buying tickets. I absolutely made my mom bring me to see her in high school and I do not regret it
I am...truly not prepared for my feelings tbh
CHRISTINA! (Happy early birthday can we get coffee before you move?) xo
You are my hero
I'm an unpublished fiction writer but I just won the 2019 Indiana Review Fiction Prize!
Congrats!!!
Wow! Congratulations!
Amazing! Congrats!
congratulations!!!
Congratulations! That's a big deal!
That's fabulous - congratulations!
Congratulations!!
Go Caroline!!!!
I am so delighted with this!
Two and half years after a terrible, heartbreaking divorce, (I think I cried daily the first year, eventually tapering off), had my first date this week. And realized all the positives of living alone, which I could not have imagined contemplating happily two years ago.
My divorce was terrrrrrrrrrrible and took forever and I hated every minute of it, and that's before I lost both my grandmothers in the eighteen months that it spanned. But 8 months after that final paper was signed I went on my first date with the man I would marry five years later. It's a hard process, but taking that first step is essential. Best to you.
In the space of six months - I lost my job, my marriage, my dog and my dad. It's been seven years and I finally feel ready to really date. And I'm dating someone I like a lot but boy do I also like being single too.
Read No One Tells You This - it’s very affirming
oh my goodness, i am right there with you with the long-and-hard-time-getting-over-breakups. i'm so glad you're feeling more optimistic now.
It really can get better—but do whatever (legal) thing you need to do to get through it. 💕
I have one more week and then I'm DONE with my first year of grad school!
Me too!!! Well, two weeks. But still.
The first year is the hardest — you’ve got this!
Congratulations!!! I have 2 more weeks and then I’m done with my 4th! We can have a thread party
I just finished my first year (Master's) this week! You're so close!
Woohoo! Congratulations. I agree with Emily -- first year by far the worst. Life gets better from here (says me, 7 years of grad school later!).
Same boat but two weeks! Unfortunately I am spending more time having feelings about this than writing papers.
Congrats! First year worst year
Congrats!!
WOOHOO! congrats!
Yay!!! Congrats!!!
Nicole I came here to tell you that Thanks to your gentle guidance I found a dentist here in Philly that gave me a glass of wine, Valium, and nitrous for a routine cleaning. I also got headphones and a stress ball shaped like a pair of teeth. I probably would have gotten a hug if I’d asked
If you need this don’t feel bad about it. Dentistry is medieval torture and it’s okay to want a dentist that is kind and supportive. (I know it is a form of privilege to expect sensitivity in healthcare but I also want gentle dentistry and OB-Gyn to be the norm for everyone)
My dentist gasses me and puts Teen Titans Go on the ceiling for me every time I need a filling. I highly recommend Teen Titans Go to anyone who is on nitrous. It is the funniest thing I ever see.
I AM SO GLAD FOR YOU
Wow wine? I will drive to Philadelphia! ;)
wow I need to find a dentist like that!
damn same here
We invited our very sweet neighbor who just became a widower over for homemade pizza. He's not used to being in an empty house yet, so we thought we'd make sure he had some company.
Ahhh you are thoughtful and kind!
I only recently came out to my family, and my cousin who's hosting mother's day brunch this year just texted to invite my girlfriend in case she didn't get along with her family and needed a safe place to spend the holiday. I feel like my heart grew three sizes!
😫😫😫 I love it
I’m seeing Lizzo right now and it’s fucked up how good she is.
I am v jealous.
ME TOO!
Y’all. I did not expect to cry so many times.
The show tonight was just SO GOOD.
HELL YEAH
Fuck it up the tempo
I'm getting married next weekend at a beautiful entirely outdoor venue and the forecast is currently calling for rain! Which is so rare this time of year in CA that meteorologists are tweeting about it. Would it be wrong to ask for dry vibes to my poor drought-ridden state on just this one day? I'm asking for dry vibes on just this one day.
I got married last month at an outdoor venue and it rained (sprinkle at first, total downpour during dinner). It changed all the plans last minute AND it was the best day. The rain made it fun. You’ll be okay!
One tip: we bought a bunch of umbrellas on Amazon the week of the wedding, both some big golf umbrellas and a ton of cheap multi pack pocket umbrellas, to put out for free use as needed. We ended up only using the golf umbrellas and having them live at the edge the tent for anyone who needed to borrow one to walk to the restroom. Highly recommend that course of action.
(This also spurred my mom to do an “umbrella dance” in a clearing on the dance floor while people cheered her on. In other words, you’ll have fun no matter what.)
That is so charming and encouraging plus great advice thank you!
My wedding day was the most torrential rain in my city for about 50 years. The photos are amazing. And it makes for a cozier wedding overall!
Thanks all for the vibes and stories of fun at rainy weddings. I keep getting the "rain is good luck!!!" response, but my concern is people having a good time, not marriage quality!
One of the most fun weddings i was ever at (and in!) occurred in a HUGE downpour. We were on an island on a lake and the power even went out for a bit. It was the best.
Also all the bridesmaids were wearing cheap white Zara dresses (thank u, bride) and they got PRETTY sheer with all the rain lol
that is honestly so encouraging, thank you so much!
The Monday and Tuesday before my wedding we were supposed to get a whole hurricane here in DC. My in-laws shipped galoshes to our apartment. It was dry and we had cocktail our outside. It may still be dry and if it’s not you will still have an amazing time! Best wishes.
I hope you have beautiful weather, but no matter what, you'll be married! Congratulations!
Congratulations! No matter the weather I’m sure you’ll have a wonderful day!
Wishing hard that your rain comes to me & my sun comes to you!
we are officially out of the drought i THINK so sending Dry Vibes your way
are we really? if so, would make me feel so much less guilty about the jar of almond butter i just bought.
Yep! I know for work reasons (I work in government). Our problem now is that we have nowhere to store all the rain/snow melt we have. AH, California, so expensive and so fickle with the water.
So dry vibes sent! I'm sure it'll be perfect no matter what.
Congratulations! Crossing my fingers for blue skies!
Congrats!!! Sending blissful wedding vibes, no matter the weather!
Omg I am also getting married next weekend! Congrats and I am sending all the dry vibes!!!
Yay thank you and congratulations!
So, this past Thursday I, a baby gay, went on a first date with a woman. A relevant excerpt of our conversation:
her: do you like horror novels/could you recommend any?
me: I've only read a few but i have a crush on this writer and, um, twitter personality who really likes them and --
her: Nicole Cliffe?
me, shrieking: YES!!!!!!!!!!!!
The date went really well and we're gonna see each other again.
Listen, I went on a SUNSET HORSEBACK RIDE and had two pina coladas and listened I a truly awful Eagles cover band to celebrate 6 months in remission! Not having active cancer is pretty goddamn good.
That sounds like a pharmaceutical ad, but in a good way. Yay no active cancer!
I got my first job offer for a grown up job this week! And it was the job I wanted the most! So over the moon
Congratulations!
Wow!! Congrats and kick ass
yay! congratulations!
Mazel tov!!
Pleading with my body and this fetus to go into labor already.
Sending good vibes - come on out, kiddo!
it's so easy to get overwelmed with the garbage fire of the current *gestures wildly* so I found a jewish group that hangs outside a mosque at nyu, welcoming muslims to midday friday prayers (and, at least for me, keeping an eye out to help if anything goes wrong). It feels good to smile and share greetings, putting my body on the line in a very quiet way, announcing that america is for all of us.
Thank you ❤️
I'm going to meet a dog I may adopt tomorrow and I'm so excited! She's 7 years old, 10 pounds, a cuddler/lap dog and apparently gets very attached to her human(s) after a couple weeks to warm up. I'm hoping we're a good fit and I can take her home soon!
Yay pup!! I hope your visit goes wonderfully!!
Omg I’m already in love with her, I hope you getti bring her home soon!
Yay!!! I'm feeling the get-another-dog itch and it's not really feasible for me right now, so can't wait to see this lady and live vicariously :-)
Oh Nicole this is wonderful! I was still shy during the Toast days, but lurking brought me such joy and I'm thrilled Open Threads are back, as it were. I'm spending the weekend writing fanfiction and trying to decide how to wrap the "Luncheon of the Boating Party" mug I bought my mom for Sunday.
What is "luncheon of the boat" and what are your wrapping choices??
my partner is planning a Popeyes chicken dinner for my first mother’s day back in the US. Starting off strong! Happy mums day to all!
POPEYES. Dear clouds above I miss Popeyes. I hope it is as crispy and juicy and magnificent and ever. (Sometimes living abroad is sad)
The pet psychic should be here any minute to meet my cat with behavior issues. This should be fun.
re-enabling email notifications for the thread with the sole purpose of following your updates about the pet psychic
please update on how this goes!!
Please tell us how it goes!
Different, but related, I recently hired a cat behaviorist to work with my two fuzzballs on maybe being friends again, please, after a disastrous boarding experience (also separation anxiety, because one of them makes herself ill when I leave town on occasion). She had *so many* ideas for us, which I'm still in the process of implementing, but it's so nice not to feel like I'm totally at the end of my rope anymore. All this to say: I'm sending good vibes your way, and I really hope the psychic can help you and your cat! Do let us know how it goes!
I want to know how this goes! I have a dog with behavior issues and I’ve been contemplating doing this
I had an animal psychic tell my Fjord Horse he was NOT being sold, merely being sent to a trainer to get started under saddle and he was coming home in 3 months time. She told me all kinds of stories about his thoughts (“he’s very proud of his hind end but is confused over his shoulders, talks VERY politely, is a bit full of himself”) and even if some people believed it to be all nonsense (it wasn’t, she nailed it), it was worth.every.penny.
Oh man, I need one to tall my 10-month old shelter pup that she doesn't need to be afraid of my husband and also that it's okay to do her business outside.
I just babysat my nephew for FOUR HOURS, I am a GOLDEN GOD!!!
That's the perfect amount of time to give him back
I'm going on a third date with a cool dude tomorrow and we're gonna see Detective Pikachu and I'm sooooo excited! Partially for the date with the guy but mostly for Detective Pikachu.
I went to see Detective Pikachu last night and it was great. Was it a good movie? Who can say. Did I enjoy it beginning to end? Definitely!
Though I did not appreciate it subtly rubbing it in my face that the original Pokemon movie came out 20 years ago.
I’m trying not to get my hopes up but I really want Detective Pikachu to be as good as the trailers!
I know me too! I thought it was gonna be bad when I first heard about it but the trailers look so good! And that cute dancing Pikachu vid that came out yesterday is just perfect!
I must see it!!!
Oh shit that's out? Yay!!
I never thought I could be this excited for a Pokemon movie but I am 😂
I'm in the process of selling/donating most of my stuff and putting a few prized tchotchkes (and saute pans) into storage ... I'll be travelling through South and Central America over the next few months and I hope to settle somewhere in those lands!
It's the master Kondo event of my lifetime, for sure: I parted with a retro style chrome dining room table today, and it's sad to see the big empty spot in front of the patio door. But... adventure (and misadventure) await on another continent, and I shall in fact Climb Every Mountain with the help of a donkey or two.
this sounds like such an amazing adventure! if you don't mind me asking, where are you going in south and central america?
Hi Nicole! My name is also Nicole! I just finished my law school semester and tomorrow I'm traveling to Hawaii for the first time with some friends! We are all rising 3Ls and all very, very ready to be sipping pina coladas on a beach.
that sounds deelightful
Whoa, this is a game changer! I’ve been thinking about starting up an estate jewelry column again but have been stymied by 1. The loss of all Hairpin/Toast-like environments online, and 2. No way to have a comment thread/community with a newsletter, which was always the best part of my Hairpin columns. So hmmmmmmmmmm I definitely need to think about this now
Monica! I have missed your column soooo much and support this idea 1000%!
Aaaah thank you! I miss all of you guys so much, too! Twitter’s fine but it’s not the same. This might be just the kick in the pants I needed!
Yes! I would read these! I loved your columns!
Thank you! You guys are definitely making me think about this more seriously, and comment thread functionality would be BRILLIANT.
oh my god Monica! Please, please, please do this. I have seriously mourned the loss of your estate jewelry column more than almost any other regular aspect of Hairpin/Toast, and still think about some of the pieces you highlighted (those amazing fish-tank earrings for starters). I know the archives are still there, but the comments threads had almost as much juicy, delightful info as the posts. I have so many jewelry related questions I need to ask and no outlet.
Oh MAN I think about those fish-tank earrings all the time, too!
True story, I actually bid on those earrings! It was an ordeal to sign up and get "authorized." I hadn't really anticipated that it would be so complicated ... but then I was committed. I think I set my maximum bid at ~$500 over the high estimate. But then of course, they went for something like 10x the estimate. In hindsight not surprising. They were amazeballs! But I'm still mad I didn't have the deep pockets to bring those home.
Monica, please do start a substack newsletter about estate jewelry! My mom and sisters and I loved your column. I need more support for this niche interest. (Or maybe it’s not so niche?) ps Any shop recs in LA?
Hi! I’ve never been to LA so I can’t vouch for the shop itself, but I have seen Craig Evan Small’s booth at antique jewelry shows and he always had great stuff and knowledgeable staff. http://www.craigevansmall.com/
Oooh this would be amazing!
yes I finally walked into erie basin after years of just checking it out online and it was totally because of you and yr rad column! I miss learning so much while reading it!
Ahhhh Erie Basin is so amazing! Good for you. Did anything in particular blow your mind?
I have an estate sale jewelry related question actually—I have a 1910s ring that’s my engagement ring. It’s not super fancy, just 9k gold with citrines and white topaz, but one of the stones recently fell out and disappeared. I’m not worried particularly about the expense, but do you have any advice on finding someone who can repair it with 9k gold, which apparently doesn’t exist in the US?
I’d say to ask around your local antique jewelry dealers and jewelers and see who they use for repairs. Someone who is used to dealing with old jewelry may have some old, busted 9k stuff sitting around that they can melt down and use for repairs. Or they might be able to inconspicuously shave some off of the existing ring and use that, but only if the ring is hefty enough to handle it. But definitely get some local recommendations, so you find somebody who knows how to work with old jewelry.
You are my people! I don’t know if or how or when I might get this going, but in the meantime you can still find my old stuff on the Hairpin. Warning: I like tangents, lol https://www.thehairpin.com/tag/estate-jewelry/
Oh yay, that makes me so happy! It’s such an endlessly fascinating thing to collect, and it’s so well suited to the millennial/Gen Z mindset, so keep getting the word out. More people need to know about it!
Headed to a first communion with my dad and grandparents right now. They're both mid 80s, and visibly slowing down, so I'm really glad to be spending this time with them. But also, as a gay man with no intent to start a family, makes me wonder if I'll have someone to drive me to these sorts of things once I can't.
Sorry to be a bit of a bummer! I'm not sure why I'm so melancholy.
I totally hear this, my mother is a bit younger but rapidly declining due to circumstances & my brother helps her out a lot, but neither of us have children & I wonder who will care for us. Not all gays have the gay chosen family of media lore! Your feelings are real, it's okay to be bummed out about this stuff.
I’m sitting on a delayed plane, on the way to visit my best friend so we can go see a band we loved in high school play the kind of show where “our big album hit a milestone year so were gonna play it all the way through.” A couple of our friends from that era will be by our side, as will my partner, who won’t know what to expect but i am excited to share the experience with him.
I am not telling my mom that I’ll be in her greater vicinity, despite it being mother’s day weekend, due to complicated family feelings. I feel conflicted about this, but have decided that this is a trip for me, to do something that makes me feel grounded in who i am and where I’ve been and where i am now, and it is Okay (honestly, Good) to be Selfish about That.
Also, i sent her guilt flowers today.
You're doing great! As a veteran of Complicated Family Feelings, it is totally okay to be selfish about that and set the boundaries you need right now. I hope you have an amazing time at the show!
congratulations on taking care of yourself and respecting your boundaries and limits! I hope you have an amazing time with your friends at the show (:
This sounds like a 311 fan thing but since you held back on the name of the band... now I don't know...
Hahaha I'm glad I came back to this thread. Not 311! Local punk band from NJ/NY.
Today is my 39th birthday and I am about to spend part of it playing D&D with friends. So far today I have gotten my hair cut and dyed, eating some amazing grouper piccatta, and have packed 70 of 115 fanzines to mail. The zine is Yuri on Ice related because I am obvious.
Happy Birthday!
Thank youuuuu!
Happy birthday!
happy birthday! are you doing an official campaign or something homebrewed?
it's a one-off official thing, I think!
ahhh that's going to be so fun, enjoy!
Happy birthday!!
Unpaid subscriber here, testing this new thread thingy. I just rescued a succulent from the clearance section of the hardware store, so my plan for the weekend is to repot it and get some cuttings going. Maybe also refinish this massive old desk that came with the house and that I've been using in all its scratched glory.
Ohhhh I have a succulent related question if you don’t mind/anyone on the thread knows... my partner knocked one off a window and the poor lil guy’s whole body snapped off at the base. Can they grow new roots at all?
Yup! Just stick him back in some soil!
Yay!!! Thank you!
what kind of succulent? i've been cultivating several pots of haworthias and their pups
I have no idea! The label just said 'succulent', but a nice reddit commenter thinks it's some type of Echevaria. I'm new to succulents, but pretty excited to see if I can keep this one alive and healthy. (it came with pups too! So cute!)
The succulent redditors are generally super sweet and super fast with identifying plants. Good luck with your new plant!
I'm sitting in a nursing home in Seattle, watching my nephew set up an Alexa for my 91 yr old mom. Everything about her being here sucks but the moments of grace & love in this horrid little room are wonderful.
"Alexa, play Frank Sinatra."
This Easter I was with the big Italian side of my family and when we ran out of Sinatra my stepmom told Alexa to "play Italian music." She then got SO BEWILDERED when it started playing contemporary pop from Italy (we later corrected to "Alexa play Pavarotti.")
Best wishes for your mother.
I actually worked on Alexa pre-release and this kind of thing is my fav. I love how the demographic of who uses it and how they use it is 200% not what anyone expected.
Music on demand for the radio generation is truly a blessing. Watching my Papa born in 1921 jam out to Pandora a few years ago was *tiny chef hands kiss*
As the mother of a child with Down syndrome, a charmer with tons of intelligence in incredibly different ways than her typical peers, Alexa has been a game changer. We've had one from the beginning, and I immediately saw what it could do for her, speech wise. It's been like having a speech therapist in the house (and in her room). She's had to slow down and annunciate to make her wishes known (usually related to pop music, but she asks great questions), and her speech has caught up with her need to communicate. It's beautiful.
Thanks for sharing! I've been having lots of conflicting feelings on smart devices like the Echo and Google Home, especially around privacy and data safety, but you made a great point! It's really a fascinating issue.
going to a dumpling making party on Sunday with some fellow queer Asians, exciting!
wow absolutely yes
it seems like dumpling-making parties are A Thing™ now which i love
a friend is exploring the full realm of her heritage/Chinese food now after 6 years of being a vegan due to her previous relationship so I've been having SO MUCH FUN introducing her to all the goods in the Bay Area
wait any faves you care to highlight? i will always take bay area chinese food recs
i'm based in Berkeley, Cantonese background, so I'm not as familiar with the goods in South Bay or the Peninsula. I'm a sucker for Gum Kuo (porridge, really good rice cheung fun, wonton noodles, etc.) and Shooting Star for Hong Kong cafe realness in Oakland Chinatown. Recently stumbled into Napoleon Bakery also in Oakland Chinatown and the egg tarts there are LEGIT.
Previously used to go to Golden Gate Bakery for the egg tarts in SF Chinatown but alas, it's been discovered by Yelp and hipsters. Same goes to Good Mong Kok (takeout dimsum in SF Chinatown) but if you have the patience to wait in line I really do like Good Mong Kok but I haven't been in a while (see: Yelp and hipsters) so I'm not sure if the quality is still the same. My college roommates lived above the fortune cookie factory in Ross Alley for a while post-graduation, so I'd go across the street with them to Wong Lee Bakery which is essentially Good Mong Kok without the crazy lines. They sell 大包 there if you ask which are a rarity these days.
Kowloon Tong Dessert Cafe in the Richmond in SF is my favorite HK-style dessert place in the area.
Daly City/Millbrae have the best true sit-down dimsum places, gf swears by Koi Palace but the line gets ridonkulous. I have not been to Dragon Beaux or Palette Town but I heard Palette Town is just a tourist trap and Instagram friendly.
if you have any suggestions for good dimsum in East Bay plz let me know!
i would like to subscribe to these recs also please
i have a friend who does these for her birthday every year, it's the best
I want to go to a dumpling making party!
I just had drinks with some of the women from my ex’s friend group whose friendships I was really bummed about losing. They told me they are happy to keep being friends and its made me so happy, I almost cried
yay for great friends who can see beyond a break up!
That’s exactly how I feel!
The fact that break ups often means losing the ex’s social circle can be such a sad part of them. So happy you got to keep these friendships!
Thank you! Knowing I won’t be losing friendships in addition to losing my ex is definitely making feel a little bit better about a tough breakup
I’m recovering from surgery. Had a 30cm ovarian cyst drained and removed. Surgeon is publishing it into a medical journal, lost 15 pounds and 5 inches due to the 6 liters of liquid that was drained!
That’s amazing! I’m glad you’re doing well!
Bodies are insane! So glad you’re going to be much more well very soon!
I finally got my courage gathered and got LASIK this morning. GOODBYE glasses!
Best money you’ll ever spend. Congratulations!
That's on my to do list as soon as I get a big girl job w/ big girl insurance. I can't imagine the pure luxury of being able to wakeup in the morning and being able to see.
I didn't get a new job (same place I currently work, different job/title) BUT I did awesome at the interview and feel good about the whole thing overall. PLUS I found my missing Kindle after only 2 days of searching, ha!
Planning on hitting the used book sale at a local library tomorrow. Because even though it is possible to have too many books, it really is not possible to have too many books.
Can confirm. Have a great time! I missed my library's spring sale and was so sad.
I'm probably going to binge watch Tuca & Bertie after dinner tonight while "drunk" on 2-3 (3 being the max, because i'm #old) dark and stormies. Then zen meditation and yoga tomorrow, then a craft fair tomorrow night, then chillin' and GoT on Sunday. I love my LA spinster weekend plans.
Love all this. I felt like I was not on enough shrooms to fully experience Tuca and Bertie. Let us know how you like it?
Haha yeah, the first episode was pretty bonkers, but I’m going to persevere! Fell asleep on the couch before I could do more :/
I had my hair cut this afternoon and my stylist made a zillion waves in it, which is rather fun, and now I am going to sit outside and paint my toenails and drink blackberry seltzer, and later watch Dead to Me, so I am jazzed about this quiet Friday night.
Oh hell yeah I’m gonna paint my nails and drink the last glass of champagne in my driveway, thanks for the suggestion!
Adding all of these to my to do list
It's my birthday tomorrow, will be celebrating with bottomless brunch at an Indian restaurant then drunk walking around the zoo down the street.
Happy early birthday 🎂
Happy Birthday!!!
Omg can i come
Happy birthday!!
Happy birthday!
Detective Pikachu was so good. It was like it taught my brain how to make serotonin again. I saw it for the second time today - and while walking to my seat fell, spilled my whole Dr. Pepper on myself and broke my middle finger. The movie was good enough that I mostly don’t care.
How is it if you have a very minimal knowledge of Pokemon? I like Ryan Reynolds and the trailer seems amusing enough.
Going to visit my in laws for Mother's Day. Don't worry folks! They're the best.
my in laws are coming to visit us! they are also the best & we're very excited to be hosting them like real grown ups
I'm hanging out at the Seattle Ronald Mcdonald House with the family watching Finding Nemo for the third time this month. It's been a great week - our baby had successful heart surgery yesterday
That’s such wonderful news. 💜💜💜
I was hit and injured by a drunk driver last year and yesterday I won my auto insurance surcharge appeal! I’m Over the moon!!
WOOOOO!! The insurance industry is so cruel.
I’m in Alaska and just about to embark on my first ever cruise
Can I ask what cruise line you’re doing? My family is planning an Alaskan cruise next year and I would like the inside scoop!
Jealous! Have fun!!
I loved our Alaskan cruise. You'll have a great time!
I am playing with my dog and hosting the 2nd to last of my almost decade long game of thrones watch parties. This weeks food theme is Who’s Kingdom? NACHOS!
Omg, huge GoT nerd & this is an incredible theme!
omg it's..... twitter again! (going to big sur on sunday! v. excited)
My weekend plans are hopefully getting this baby out of my body.