OMG. I just returned from rural western Quebec--where I was staying with Anglo Canadians, not Francophones. These are TOO REAL, I have not fully recovered from the atmosphere of passive aggression yet.
yesterday I closed on a condo! scared and excited to do this as a single lady, feeling very lucky to be in a position where I can even swing this, just a whole range of emotions but gratitude and a sense of abundance over all.
Congrats! If you're anything like me the first week you will occasionally wake up going, "WTF have I done? I have tethered myself to this very very non liquid asset and what if my finances go belly up and now I can't drop everything and just move" in a very unproductive way; my experience and conversations with friends who bought for the first time confirm this is A) normal, and B) extremely temporary.
Hi Nicole & friends! I’m a long(ish)-time reader but have never commented bc I never had anything to say... but is it okay if I pop in to share something exciting real quick? I’m a writer (mostly of fanfic in a very small fandom, also working on a novel & a musical), and yesterday I realized that I hit my word-count goal for the WHOLE YEAR... four days ago. I noticed late, but I’m celebrating now. 😅 https://twitter.com/rjtonamen/status/1156751290271186944?s=21
I have figured out the exact specs I want on my new vehicle and now I begin the process of email negotiation per Nicole's instructions. I have been saving the link to that Toast piece for YEARS for this very day. The Toyota dealers of my region should be QUAKING in FEAR right now but they don't even know.
Pro Tip: At some point you will have to interact with a human when collecting your vehicle, unless you’re using one of Carvana’s vending machines. Even then I think you have to get your token from a human. I cannot recommend enough dressing in a way that will make upselling you seem not worth their while. The last time I picked up a car, I showed up in my $1 Old Navy flipflops, $2.99 Old Navy clearance jeans with frayed bottoms, and an old faded college hoodie. No makeup, no jewelry. And I brought my mom. The finance guy looked at me then handed me a pamphlet featuring the “extras” and told me to let him know if I was interested in anything. That was it. It was beautiful.
Update on this: I had to slightly modify The Method because of low inventory for my preferred vehicle (several dealers claimed they could not find what I wanted) but I got my new friend Jeremy at a nearby Toyota dealer to drop the price by an amount I feel great about and that is more than $1K less than what TrueCar says is a good price on said car for my area. Paperwork is ready to go, and I will pick up my silver RAV4 hybrid with COOLED SEATS tomorrow at 2pm. Thank you, Nicole, from another satisfied reader!
Thank you for reminding me of The Method! A friend just had her car die and is kind of a pushover with in person interactions, so I have just sent her the link and hopefully she can use it to avoid talking to anyone and to get a good certified pre-owned Rav4
I think it would be harder because finding comparable vehicles at different dealers could be a challenge, but it could still work. Say if you have Car A and Car B, and Car A is lower-priced and objectively better – it has lower mileage, the tires were just replaced, whatever – but you would be perfectly happy driving Car B. You could tell Car B’s dealer that you have every incentive to buy Car A, so what could they do to incentivize you to take their less desirable vehicle off their hands?
I got my name change done last week! (I haven’t changed it here yet!). I was thinking I’m estranged from my parents and don’t like the name they gave me anyway so why spend the next 40+ years of my life with a name I hate given to me by people I hate? I am enjoying being Tom and Thomas so far. But of course there’s a lot of work to go into a name change.
I went through all that last year to change my last name - the weirdest moments so far are my signature (I guess I should practice lol) and when I order food to pick up (I still instinctively look in the "H" section instead of the "C" section). It's weird to change something you've lived with for 30+ years. I'm still finding online accounts that I need to update, it makes the process feel never-ending
My daughter's name is a combination of our two last names, and we want to change ours as well but there's been a long delay due to Russian paperwork issues for me, and because we've been using the new name anyway I can never, e.g., find my dog's records at the kennel where he has stayed for 3 years now when we go out of town. No idea, still, whose name/which name it's under.
Yeah there’s a ton of stuff that would be hard to change. (I’ve been a writer online since 2004, for one), so ironically, my old name is a pen name now. And I’m just not updating all the usernames and stuff because lord I don’t even want to think about doing that much work. Fortunately I’ve been using a spam trap email and handle for many things but still, ughhh.
I recently quit my shitty job and now spend the whole day with the Turner Classic Movies channel on in the background. I love it! Did you know that every day there is sort of a theme? Some days it's an actor (today is Henry Fonda!) but others it's more general, like all films about pirates or war or dizzy society dames. Anyway, I've become obsessed with the Movie Star Accent (clearly it was learned for their performances, but did they talk like that in everyday life, too?), and found this fun article. I thought some of you might like it, too. https://www.thevintagenews.com/2017/12/10/mid-atlantic-accent/
I took a voice and diction class and a dialects for the stage class in college and the professor for both of them LOVED to talk about the Mid-Atlantic dialect. She loved it but also told us that we should never use it unless playing a character who would have had that sort of affectation.
What's also very interesting is that what we think of now as Standard British, how all the posh fancy people talk, was actually created in the same way and for much the same reasons as the Mid Atlantic. It was developed at boarding schools for boys in the late 1800s, if I remember correctly mainly Eton, to separate the future aristocrats and other elite from the lower classes. That's why it's always especially funny to me when movies about the Revolutionary War, etc. use the Standard British of today. It didn't even exist then! All those dudes would have sounded absolutely a t r o c i o u s to us by today's standards! But no one wants to admit that the people who penned the Declaration probably sounded more like Eliza Doolittle than Henry Higgins
RP (received pronunciation or BBC English) continues to cast a curse. I taught ESOL and my students were worried about not sounding "properly English" because we were told to teach them English as it's actually spoken but a lot of them had listened to RP growing up on the radio or tv. Some of my students sound very North London thanks to me. And all the better for it.
Yes! During tuesday's debate I told my fiance that she sounded like Katherine O'Hara's impossible to place accent that she does on Schitt's Creek. He does not watch this show and did not really get it.
That's good to know about TCM (although I don't have cable). I recently subscribed to The Criterion Channel which curates movies into different themes (I just recently watched ' Summer of '69' [nice] which was Easy Rider, Midnight Cowboy, and Bob And Carol And Ted And Alice) and it felt like such a great way to watch movies. Also they do themed double-features! Could be something you like.
Your book is so awesome, I thoroughly enjoyed it! I may possibly be driving my husband nuts by attempting to analyze all the emojis and punctuation in the texts I get, but oh well :)
I have a job interview today and have also been feeling irretrievably broken all week, which is a super fun combo. Any warm thoughts anyone's got are much appreciated.
Thanks, everyone! I did not feel particularly like I killed it...but like five minutes after I got home, I got the email asking for a second interview so...yay! I really appreciate all the support.
Hi friends, I would really appreciate your prayers and thoughts-- I just found out that my friend is going through a manic episode and has disappeared. Her phone is off and none of her friends or family know where she is. We're all very worried and if you could pray for her safety and quick return, it would be so appreciated.
This is 100% about me, and doesn’t even contain any good tweets, but I’m going to Columbus, Indiana tomorrow and I’m STOKED! I’m traveling alone! It’s a mid century modern paradise! I’ve booked my tours for MCM houses! I accidentally booked two hotel stays—Wait, that’s the bad thing!
Hi all -- Idk if this the forum for this, and I apologize if not, but I need some advice. My bf picked up the key for our place together today. We signed the lease in February. I am in Europe working on my thesis, will be back in Sept to join him.
However, while Ive been gone and hes in the US he decided to tell his parents in India about us and that we were moving in together (background: he's India, I'm not, I told him he could tell them on his schedule, really I was fine if he never told them until after we were married in a few years. Hes been on the US for seven years, theyve never been). He had some idea he had to tell them about the moving on--I think hes had friends who move in with non Indian gf and tell their parents the girl is just a roommate and he didnt want to lie.
His parents had such a huge, weeks long, 4-hrs-of-phone-calls-and-emails-evert-day fit. They threatened to kill themselves many times and began self-harming in front of my bf by hitting themselves against the wall on skype. His sister got in on it, telling him he was terrible and ugly and I would leave him for someone better, telling him Americans are incapable of love. (and we laughed about many of these... but also it was horrible), just throwing everything in the book at him. They were particularly cruel even by cultural standards...his and my friends from all parts of India thought it was overblown even by Indian parent standards.
I told him he needed to just not talk to them about this for awhile, to set boundaries. I had to talk him down so many times--he wanted to go to India and mess up his visa, he went to New Mexico to visit some distant Indian relatives there to try to calm everybody down--but instead, today, he told his parents that we are not moving in together! Somehow he thinks he'll find some other cheap place so he can still pay his half of the rent and it will be fine and we can stay together. It's such a mess, we had this plan. He was the one who wanted to move in. He was the one who wanted to tell his parents while I was gone.
My family loves him. My dads helping him move! At the same time as all this my mom, who is my best friend, has been really sick, in and out of the hospital. And I have to listen to him cry because his parents said they're going to kill themselves...I just have no patience for this..
Anyway, I dont know why I'm putting this here. I miss the Toast comments. He is the most wonderful man, he wants to get married someday. But he asked me to find an apartment with him LAST YEAR. He had to convince me; I wanted to wait to move in together. Before today I was at least happy because I thought he was being very very brave and standing by his commitments to me and to our future (something we discussed that he would have to be able do before he told his parents! He agreed he would stop talking to them for awhile! But he wont).
tldr...I don't know. Because of all this I find myself just furious at him. He says he has to be nice to his parents. I just...it makes me so sad for the world. Should I break up with him? I dont want to but I just find myself so mad, its hard to stay together or problem solve together when you are furious and disappointed. I don't know.
Anyway thanks for allowing me this--I miss being Toastie.
Oh boy, this sounds terrible. I don't have advice about what to do but If it's possible to compartmentalize a bit, and leave aside your feelings for him, do you really want his family as part of your family for the rest of your life? Because it's not like they're going to go away once you're married. And if they do this about living together, how will they react to an actual marriage?
This is so hard, I'm so sorry! Sending you so many warm thoughts, it must feel so impossible being physically away from this. The only advice I can give is the worst advice: take some time. He has to figure out what he wants and can do while you need to figure out where your boundaries and needs are. And you can't help each other figure this out because it is too important to both of you. I would guess that it will be easier to sort out feelings/practicalities when you are in the same place!
I'm a total problem solver, so I am always trying to plot out solutions to other people's problems but that never works for the long term. If he thinks he's going to find a cheap place then he can try to do that. It's fair to tell him that he needs to talk about this with other people because you can't be the only one supporting him on this!
YAY! Michelle Williams is a revelation and there is nothing wrong w Sam Rockwell's performance. Also, since Fosse is dead, they were able to put Rockwell in varying degrees of bald cap, which Fosse would never have allowed.
Clearly the commenters a) don't have a dog b) don't live in a place where it gets very hot or very cold. It's wild how free people are with their uninformed opinions lol
This is why I'm a fan of Curated Twitter - this whole thread has been delightful, and I've (mostly) avoided seeing things that make me want to cry. (Those comments are mostly silly and harmless, especially compared to the rest of what's out there.)
Yep. I'm On Twitter, probably more than I should be, but it's such a good way to keep up with a lot of my friends that I have a hard time staying away.
I'm an atheist, so God didn't tell me to get off Twitter, but I logged in yesterday to the new layout and was told loudly and clearly by Twitter to get the heck off and go outside.
IF you do feel like coming back at any point and are using Chrome (and I believe also Firefox) you can get the GoodTwitter extension and it restores all sanity.
My company recently changed the way vendors are supposed to send in invoices, so I've been getting a bunch directly from our freelancers instead of through their editors and not a single one of them looks anything like how I imagined!!
I interact with most of these people, even if somewhat indirectly, at least once a month, and yet I have no idea what they look or sound like or anything. Isn't it so strange how based on just a name and very little else we can get such a clear idea of someone in our heads? But then you finally see a picture of them and your whole world shifts just a little bit.
Hi everyone! This is my first post. Usually I'm pissing off Nazis and ableist assholes on Twitter, but I thought I'd come here to ask this question. I'm an ambulatory wheelchair user and a disability rights activist. I live on Oahu, one of the most touristed spots on earth. My tiny rural town gets hundreds of thousands of tourists come through each year. Where they walk in wet ditches because we don't have sidewalks. I can't go around the corner from my home because we don't have sidewalks. The bus stops aren't accessible. My dr is moving to a building on the second floor. The building doesn't have an elevator or chair lift. Basically, it's like the ADA doesn't even exist here. I have lawyers in CA who would love to go after all these violations but they need a partner who is licensced with the Hawaii bar. No local lawyers want to sue the state and city- I've been calling for years. I love it here, and my family loves it here. I just want to be able to live a normal life and not one that is full of discrimination. This is a HUGE longshot, but does anyone know any lawyers in Hawai'i who might be interested in fixing this bullshit?
You're all awesome. I hope everyone has a great weekend.
I don’t know if you’re still doing matchmaking, or how we’d hook him up with prospects, but the actor who plays Diana’s boyfriend on Younger is single and Miriam Shor sure is trying to fix that in this video. Good looking, likes older women, reads, cooks, and has actually worked as a plumber. And Miriam Shor seems to genuinely like him. https://twitter.com/youngertv/status/1156756120972746755?s=21
Hee! That is sweet. Two summers ago I went to an Amanda Shires concert and she was openly shilling for her drummer who had just gone through a bad break-up. Like, "Drummer is the best and he always picks mean girls, I don't know why he does this to himself, he is single now, please direct all inquiries to the stage, act fast this deal won't last forever."
I just lost my cat to a stroke. I’m 19 and she was almost 16 so I’ve had her for most of my life. I would really appreciate any wisdom you may have for dealing with grief or any good thoughts you could send my way.
Hannah I'm so sorry for your loss. Last summer my husband took my 2 dogs in our divorce. I bawled like a baby and thought I could never love a dog again. Praying for you in this awful time. It gets a little less sad each day. It's probably not possible to believe now, but you may find that you will love a kitten again in the future. Rooting for you xo
My parents came out to visit me in Southern Utah! They have seen a couple shows at my theater and today we tooled around the Parowan Gap area to see some petroglyphs and dinosaur tracks. They are here through the weekend and I’m so excited but also having a hard time keeping my mouth shut about their surprise 50th wedding anniversary party next week that I am secretly flying out there to go to!!
I'm trying to move up to Humboldt County, CA to go to school surrounded by redwoods but have been having a nightmare of a time trying to find housing for my cat and I.
It's stressing me out and I'm trying not to just shut down and do nothing as a coping strategy.
I have never commented on these before because I am still a new subscriber but hi everyone I'm Karis, I'm new and I'm scared but I want to share that I'm doing a challenge where I'm writing poems every day this month to try to raise money for organizations (RAICES Texas! KIND! Save the Children!) and I thought that might be interesting...now I flee.
Two teens (but really adults, 18 and 19) went missing around the same time two tourists were found murdered in BC. Now it's turned out the teens likely killed them, plus one other man, and are now on the run through northwestern Canada. They've been spotted a couple times but have mostly been tracked by their vehicles, which they've torched and left almost like breadcrumbs. The last one was in a remote community in northern Manitoba that basically has one road in and out. The whole thing is bizarre and I cannot believe they haven't been caught.
Nicole, you're probably busy with the kids, but what's your feeling about subscribers posting info about their businesses here? It's for a resume coaching and writing service, and I'd make a nicely worded, brief post, not spammy.
Uh, so, anybody ever done speed-dating? I am in my 30s, sick to death of online dating and living near a big city that has regular speed-dating events. I am thinking about it. I might hate it. But I hate what I’ve got now, so. If nothing else, maybe it’s writing material.
I've done it! (So granted it was queer speed dating at the Strand) and I was shocked at how much fun I had. I didn't have particular success but I didn't regret going.
I did it one as a favour to fill out female #s for a friend that was hosting, so my experience was slightly different, but it was fun, if overwhelming. take notes, or else you won't remember who was who. (if you know shorthand, or a 2nd language, even better!) the one I went to only connected people if both of them "matched" each other in a survey afterward, so it's sort of a safer way of meeting new people, but without the onslaught of the internet. worth a shot!
Maybe try looking into meetup groups? It may be a little less pressure than speed dating and you could also network! If you go for speed dating, you can always just leave if it sucks. Either way, best of luck to you!!
Thanks. I also have an on-off thing for someone I can’t have. And I’m so pissed at myself for it, so I know that’s contributing to me feeling like I must find someone to distract me. Which I feel like rarely ends well.
You have my sympathy. On-offs are the worst. Had one for 5 years. They're one of the hardest things to break off, so don't be too hard on yourself. You'll get there!
Thanks. To clarify, I have never been with this person. They’re a friend. And they are very nice to me. And dating someone else. And liking someone you know you can’t have is very easy to start doing but hurts like hell when you have trouble turning it off.
Hello! Looking for recommendations on good comfy business casual flats. I’m starting a new job soon (yay!) and the dress code is business casual. My current job dress code is scrubs and sneakers, and because it’s pretty much the same kind of work, I need shoes that will be comfortable with a lot of walking and standing. Technically, I can (and will) wear some cute sneakers but I would like a flat option. Also I have high arches if that makes a difference. I’m looking forward to being able to dress up daily! 😄
Danskos have been so great for my feet and back. The clogs are better for standing than for walking, at least until you get used to them, but they have lots of styles. And they last forever! The Walking Company has them on sale now, if price is a consideration.
I am including Danny ones because they are Good Tweets, even though I imagine he's just texting them to you as he thinks of them in light of this Twitter hiatus
Good articles you maybe missed but maybe not since you're extremely online:
And this article in The Cut about how the woman who popularized gender reveal parties feels bad about it, she was just happy to be at that point in her pregnancy after several miscarriages https://t.co/iiO2xHljfH
If anyone has any resouces/book recommendations/ words of wisdom on dealing with chronic pain issues, I'd appreciate them. I'm dealing with a couple of non-life-threatening issues that are nonetheless really life-disruptive (restless legs syndrome that has gotten SO BAD recently, and a lower back problem that I have had for years, but has also ramped up the constant pain and tightness and awfulness) and I'm seeing my doctor about it, and they are trying various things, and nothing is really helping. I'm exhausted, I can't sleep much at night, and I am very afraid that this is just my life now, and I don't know how to get my head around the idea that I might just... never have a decent night's sleep again, or ever have a moment where I'm not in pain, and it sucks. I don't really know what to do.
I've had chronic pain flare-ups and sleep issues for decades, but you will not feel this way forever. Some things that were helpful to me was talking about my pain to every specialist I had, not just the pain specialist, and my urologist eventually found a combo of meds that worked for me, rather than my neurologist or rheumatologist. I hope you find unexpected allies.
Good luck with your trip Nicole! I took just my baby on a train trip and it thoroughly exhausted me so I have nothing but admiration for those who do bigger, bolder things!
We went Phoenix to Nashville when my baby was 8 months old, and my SIL was such an exhausting hostess that when we got to the airport we were like "WOO! Flying with a baby! TSA! This is great!" so I guess it's all relative. 😂
It's not a tweet, I guess, but more where I'm trying to become more independent since I still don't have my disability back in full, so I took all my digital artwork (my paintings and hand drawings are not ready for this yet), and opened a sticker shop on teespring!
I plan on doing an old school "Blind Items of Rural Southern Ontario" installment at LEAST once for you, my precious darlings: http://the-toast.net/2014/05/30/blind-items-rural-southern-ontario/
other installments: http://the-toast.net/2015/06/17/blind-items-of-rural-southern-ontario-2/
http://the-toast.net/2014/01/27/blind-items-of-rural-southern-ontario/
I just started watching Letterkenny and I'm so excited to reread these
OMG. I just returned from rural western Quebec--where I was staying with Anglo Canadians, not Francophones. These are TOO REAL, I have not fully recovered from the atmosphere of passive aggression yet.
yesterday I closed on a condo! scared and excited to do this as a single lady, feeling very lucky to be in a position where I can even swing this, just a whole range of emotions but gratitude and a sense of abundance over all.
Congrats! If you're anything like me the first week you will occasionally wake up going, "WTF have I done? I have tethered myself to this very very non liquid asset and what if my finances go belly up and now I can't drop everything and just move" in a very unproductive way; my experience and conversations with friends who bought for the first time confirm this is A) normal, and B) extremely temporary.
Wow yes extremely this, relieved to hear that eventually that feeling will settle!!! thank you!
You are a star! 🤩
Congrats!
Hi Nicole & friends! I’m a long(ish)-time reader but have never commented bc I never had anything to say... but is it okay if I pop in to share something exciting real quick? I’m a writer (mostly of fanfic in a very small fandom, also working on a novel & a musical), and yesterday I realized that I hit my word-count goal for the WHOLE YEAR... four days ago. I noticed late, but I’m celebrating now. 😅 https://twitter.com/rjtonamen/status/1156751290271186944?s=21
Congratulations!!
Badass!
Amazing! Congratulations!
I have figured out the exact specs I want on my new vehicle and now I begin the process of email negotiation per Nicole's instructions. I have been saving the link to that Toast piece for YEARS for this very day. The Toyota dealers of my region should be QUAKING in FEAR right now but they don't even know.
Steve's personal assistant is using The Method as we speak on a 4-Runner.
I am curious, in your experience about how long has it taken to go from beginning The Method to car keys in hand?
for me, 48 hrs
Ooh, exciting!!!
Pro Tip: At some point you will have to interact with a human when collecting your vehicle, unless you’re using one of Carvana’s vending machines. Even then I think you have to get your token from a human. I cannot recommend enough dressing in a way that will make upselling you seem not worth their while. The last time I picked up a car, I showed up in my $1 Old Navy flipflops, $2.99 Old Navy clearance jeans with frayed bottoms, and an old faded college hoodie. No makeup, no jewelry. And I brought my mom. The finance guy looked at me then handed me a pamphlet featuring the “extras” and told me to let him know if I was interested in anything. That was it. It was beautiful.
Update on this: I had to slightly modify The Method because of low inventory for my preferred vehicle (several dealers claimed they could not find what I wanted) but I got my new friend Jeremy at a nearby Toyota dealer to drop the price by an amount I feel great about and that is more than $1K less than what TrueCar says is a good price on said car for my area. Paperwork is ready to go, and I will pick up my silver RAV4 hybrid with COOLED SEATS tomorrow at 2pm. Thank you, Nicole, from another satisfied reader!
Nicole! I am looking to buy a car for the first time on my own as an adult in September and I'm hoping to use The Method 🤞
Thank you for reminding me of The Method! A friend just had her car die and is kind of a pushover with in person interactions, so I have just sent her the link and hopefully she can use it to avoid talking to anyone and to get a good certified pre-owned Rav4
Question: if I am in the market for a car in the 15k range, is the Method worth it? I think it won’t work given that I’m likely buying an off-lease?
I think it would be harder because finding comparable vehicles at different dealers could be a challenge, but it could still work. Say if you have Car A and Car B, and Car A is lower-priced and objectively better – it has lower mileage, the tires were just replaced, whatever – but you would be perfectly happy driving Car B. You could tell Car B’s dealer that you have every incentive to buy Car A, so what could they do to incentivize you to take their less desirable vehicle off their hands?
I just needed to share this clutch with you.
https://www.instagram.com/p/B0m9ujGHOtU/?igshid=8iv4r5mtwk5
I AM FURIOUS I CANNOT BUY THIS
That's a horcrux
Obv designed to hold people’s souls. Definitely jinxed.
If this is not cursed then what is even the point of curses
I love it and I'm going to imagine it whenever I read Hermione/Pansy fic now
Gorgeous, but why does it look so much like cabbage?
This is stunning holy cow
Recommend reading this great profile and photo set with K. Stew. https://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2019/07/kristen-stewart-cover-story?mbid=synd_digg
I got my name change done last week! (I haven’t changed it here yet!). I was thinking I’m estranged from my parents and don’t like the name they gave me anyway so why spend the next 40+ years of my life with a name I hate given to me by people I hate? I am enjoying being Tom and Thomas so far. But of course there’s a lot of work to go into a name change.
So exciting to change your name!
I went through all that last year to change my last name - the weirdest moments so far are my signature (I guess I should practice lol) and when I order food to pick up (I still instinctively look in the "H" section instead of the "C" section). It's weird to change something you've lived with for 30+ years. I'm still finding online accounts that I need to update, it makes the process feel never-ending
My daughter's name is a combination of our two last names, and we want to change ours as well but there's been a long delay due to Russian paperwork issues for me, and because we've been using the new name anyway I can never, e.g., find my dog's records at the kennel where he has stayed for 3 years now when we go out of town. No idea, still, whose name/which name it's under.
Yeah there’s a ton of stuff that would be hard to change. (I’ve been a writer online since 2004, for one), so ironically, my old name is a pen name now. And I’m just not updating all the usernames and stuff because lord I don’t even want to think about doing that much work. Fortunately I’ve been using a spam trap email and handle for many things but still, ughhh.
Okay I figured out how to update it here I think. :v
I recently quit my shitty job and now spend the whole day with the Turner Classic Movies channel on in the background. I love it! Did you know that every day there is sort of a theme? Some days it's an actor (today is Henry Fonda!) but others it's more general, like all films about pirates or war or dizzy society dames. Anyway, I've become obsessed with the Movie Star Accent (clearly it was learned for their performances, but did they talk like that in everyday life, too?), and found this fun article. I thought some of you might like it, too. https://www.thevintagenews.com/2017/12/10/mid-atlantic-accent/
I took a voice and diction class and a dialects for the stage class in college and the professor for both of them LOVED to talk about the Mid-Atlantic dialect. She loved it but also told us that we should never use it unless playing a character who would have had that sort of affectation.
What's also very interesting is that what we think of now as Standard British, how all the posh fancy people talk, was actually created in the same way and for much the same reasons as the Mid Atlantic. It was developed at boarding schools for boys in the late 1800s, if I remember correctly mainly Eton, to separate the future aristocrats and other elite from the lower classes. That's why it's always especially funny to me when movies about the Revolutionary War, etc. use the Standard British of today. It didn't even exist then! All those dudes would have sounded absolutely a t r o c i o u s to us by today's standards! But no one wants to admit that the people who penned the Declaration probably sounded more like Eliza Doolittle than Henry Higgins
RP (received pronunciation or BBC English) continues to cast a curse. I taught ESOL and my students were worried about not sounding "properly English" because we were told to teach them English as it's actually spoken but a lot of them had listened to RP growing up on the radio or tv. Some of my students sound very North London thanks to me. And all the better for it.
in fact, historians say that colonists would have sounded more like.... new york and new jersey accents. aahhhhh.
I would give anything to see some Very Serious Film about the Revolutionary period where everyone sounds like they're a cast member on Jersey Shore.
as a native, hard same.
Molly Pitcher really was a Jersey Girl: "Hey, you want some wooder?"
Marianne Williamson has this accent, have you noticed?
Yes! During tuesday's debate I told my fiance that she sounded like Katherine O'Hara's impossible to place accent that she does on Schitt's Creek. He does not watch this show and did not really get it.
That's good to know about TCM (although I don't have cable). I recently subscribed to The Criterion Channel which curates movies into different themes (I just recently watched ' Summer of '69' [nice] which was Easy Rider, Midnight Cowboy, and Bob And Carol And Ted And Alice) and it felt like such a great way to watch movies. Also they do themed double-features! Could be something you like.
A good news tweet since you're off twitter https://twitter.com/GretchenAMcC/status/1156734193709330433 with massive thanks to the Toast Alumni Book-Buying Network!!!
NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER GRETCHEN MCCULLOCH!!!!!!
Ahhh ty Nicole!!! You can totally take credit for promoting it in the newsletter on pub day, I'm sure that helped!!!
Your book is so awesome, I thoroughly enjoyed it! I may possibly be driving my husband nuts by attempting to analyze all the emojis and punctuation in the texts I get, but oh well :)
Hahaha welcome to my life :D
Yea!
I really enjoyed this video of a fat raccoon https://twitter.com/killboysclub/status/1155683872891445250
I have also been in awe of this: https://twitter.com/lewiswake/status/1155960854384238593
I have been so into all of these, but this one is my new favorite. It's so good. Thank you.
Love Actually/Billie Eilish still a close second.
You had me at fat raccoon
Thank you, that was everything I hoped for.
Okay, who the heck was recording me?!
Protect Lil Nas X at all costs https://twitter.com/GuyFieri/status/1156638769765847040
and his reply https://twitter.com/LilNasX/status/1156639091909259264 Ack, so perfect!
I have a job interview today and have also been feeling irretrievably broken all week, which is a super fun combo. Any warm thoughts anyone's got are much appreciated.
Thanks, everyone! I did not feel particularly like I killed it...but like five minutes after I got home, I got the email asking for a second interview so...yay! I really appreciate all the support.
I'm cheering you on from afar!
Sending warm thoughts!
Hi friends, I would really appreciate your prayers and thoughts-- I just found out that my friend is going through a manic episode and has disappeared. Her phone is off and none of her friends or family know where she is. We're all very worried and if you could pray for her safety and quick return, it would be so appreciated.
Praying right now.
Hi everyone, thank you so, so much for your prayers and support. She has been found and is in treatment now.
I'm so happy to hear that!
That's fantastic news!! I'm so glad she's in good hands!
Praying now.
I’m so sorry, we’ve been dealing with this with a friend and it’s so hard. Praying for your friend to get home safely and soon.
So sorry. Keeping you in my thoughts/prayers.
Keeping her in my prayers. I hope you get good news, and soon.
I laughed at this perfect video over and over https://twitter.com/MamoudouNDiaye/status/1155822774348406784?s=19
I cried laughing watching this yesterday. The comedic timing!!!
AH MAZING
YES IT IS PERFECT
Don't mess with Quinn https://twitter.com/illucifer/status/1156240196653977600?s=19
Thank you, I just got the first belly laugh I have *ever* heard from my boss.
pahahaha LOVE this!
I snort-laughed at that and at this one, with “there can be only one” added. https://twitter.com/arewetehbaddies/status/1156388157035823104?s=21
This is 100% about me, and doesn’t even contain any good tweets, but I’m going to Columbus, Indiana tomorrow and I’m STOKED! I’m traveling alone! It’s a mid century modern paradise! I’ve booked my tours for MCM houses! I accidentally booked two hotel stays—Wait, that’s the bad thing!
The rare good riff on a tweet from the president. https://twitter.com/paparoach/status/1155895876851658752?s=21
Hi all -- Idk if this the forum for this, and I apologize if not, but I need some advice. My bf picked up the key for our place together today. We signed the lease in February. I am in Europe working on my thesis, will be back in Sept to join him.
However, while Ive been gone and hes in the US he decided to tell his parents in India about us and that we were moving in together (background: he's India, I'm not, I told him he could tell them on his schedule, really I was fine if he never told them until after we were married in a few years. Hes been on the US for seven years, theyve never been). He had some idea he had to tell them about the moving on--I think hes had friends who move in with non Indian gf and tell their parents the girl is just a roommate and he didnt want to lie.
His parents had such a huge, weeks long, 4-hrs-of-phone-calls-and-emails-evert-day fit. They threatened to kill themselves many times and began self-harming in front of my bf by hitting themselves against the wall on skype. His sister got in on it, telling him he was terrible and ugly and I would leave him for someone better, telling him Americans are incapable of love. (and we laughed about many of these... but also it was horrible), just throwing everything in the book at him. They were particularly cruel even by cultural standards...his and my friends from all parts of India thought it was overblown even by Indian parent standards.
I told him he needed to just not talk to them about this for awhile, to set boundaries. I had to talk him down so many times--he wanted to go to India and mess up his visa, he went to New Mexico to visit some distant Indian relatives there to try to calm everybody down--but instead, today, he told his parents that we are not moving in together! Somehow he thinks he'll find some other cheap place so he can still pay his half of the rent and it will be fine and we can stay together. It's such a mess, we had this plan. He was the one who wanted to move in. He was the one who wanted to tell his parents while I was gone.
My family loves him. My dads helping him move! At the same time as all this my mom, who is my best friend, has been really sick, in and out of the hospital. And I have to listen to him cry because his parents said they're going to kill themselves...I just have no patience for this..
Anyway, I dont know why I'm putting this here. I miss the Toast comments. He is the most wonderful man, he wants to get married someday. But he asked me to find an apartment with him LAST YEAR. He had to convince me; I wanted to wait to move in together. Before today I was at least happy because I thought he was being very very brave and standing by his commitments to me and to our future (something we discussed that he would have to be able do before he told his parents! He agreed he would stop talking to them for awhile! But he wont).
tldr...I don't know. Because of all this I find myself just furious at him. He says he has to be nice to his parents. I just...it makes me so sad for the world. Should I break up with him? I dont want to but I just find myself so mad, its hard to stay together or problem solve together when you are furious and disappointed. I don't know.
Anyway thanks for allowing me this--I miss being Toastie.
Oh boy, this sounds terrible. I don't have advice about what to do but If it's possible to compartmentalize a bit, and leave aside your feelings for him, do you really want his family as part of your family for the rest of your life? Because it's not like they're going to go away once you're married. And if they do this about living together, how will they react to an actual marriage?
This is so hard, I'm so sorry! Sending you so many warm thoughts, it must feel so impossible being physically away from this. The only advice I can give is the worst advice: take some time. He has to figure out what he wants and can do while you need to figure out where your boundaries and needs are. And you can't help each other figure this out because it is too important to both of you. I would guess that it will be easier to sort out feelings/practicalities when you are in the same place!
I'm a total problem solver, so I am always trying to plot out solutions to other people's problems but that never works for the long term. If he thinks he's going to find a cheap place then he can try to do that. It's fair to tell him that he needs to talk about this with other people because you can't be the only one supporting him on this!
I hope this works out <3
I am so sorry this is happening to you. I don't have any advice; just a hug from afar
Woof. That sucks. Can you cancel your joint lease and take the month of August to figure this out?
I don't have any advice, but I hope things work out.
Fosse/Verdon is finally coming to the UK, on Friday. I am very excited due to your tweets about it Nicole. 😊
YAY! Michelle Williams is a revelation and there is nothing wrong w Sam Rockwell's performance. Also, since Fosse is dead, they were able to put Rockwell in varying degrees of bald cap, which Fosse would never have allowed.
I have watched this approximately 1 million times and it's still making me snort-laugh every time https://twitter.com/DoggoDating/status/1155787671622574082
GOOD DOGGIES. Also, the comments about torturing them with boots...sigh.
Clearly the commenters a) don't have a dog b) don't live in a place where it gets very hot or very cold. It's wild how free people are with their uninformed opinions lol
This is why I'm a fan of Curated Twitter - this whole thread has been delightful, and I've (mostly) avoided seeing things that make me want to cry. (Those comments are mostly silly and harmless, especially compared to the rest of what's out there.)
Yep. I'm On Twitter, probably more than I should be, but it's such a good way to keep up with a lot of my friends that I have a hard time staying away.
I'm an atheist, so God didn't tell me to get off Twitter, but I logged in yesterday to the new layout and was told loudly and clearly by Twitter to get the heck off and go outside.
IF you do feel like coming back at any point and are using Chrome (and I believe also Firefox) you can get the GoodTwitter extension and it restores all sanity.
GoodTwitter fixed the Twitter video issues I've had in Chrome for a while, somehow
My company recently changed the way vendors are supposed to send in invoices, so I've been getting a bunch directly from our freelancers instead of through their editors and not a single one of them looks anything like how I imagined!!
I interact with most of these people, even if somewhat indirectly, at least once a month, and yet I have no idea what they look or sound like or anything. Isn't it so strange how based on just a name and very little else we can get such a clear idea of someone in our heads? But then you finally see a picture of them and your whole world shifts just a little bit.
This one made me laugh https://twitter.com/marrowing/status/1156703022703005696
This guy is doing a loooong thread of movie clips with the music changed. This is one of my favorites. https://twitter.com/lewiswake/status/1156332470071173126
The Seven Brides for Seven Brothers one is pretty awesome, too. Thank you for this.
Yes! It matches unbelievably well. https://twitter.com/lewiswake/status/1155960854384238593?s=21
Argh! I didn't see your post before I did mine- this is my favorite one too!
this is delightful
Absolute treasure
Hi everyone! This is my first post. Usually I'm pissing off Nazis and ableist assholes on Twitter, but I thought I'd come here to ask this question. I'm an ambulatory wheelchair user and a disability rights activist. I live on Oahu, one of the most touristed spots on earth. My tiny rural town gets hundreds of thousands of tourists come through each year. Where they walk in wet ditches because we don't have sidewalks. I can't go around the corner from my home because we don't have sidewalks. The bus stops aren't accessible. My dr is moving to a building on the second floor. The building doesn't have an elevator or chair lift. Basically, it's like the ADA doesn't even exist here. I have lawyers in CA who would love to go after all these violations but they need a partner who is licensced with the Hawaii bar. No local lawyers want to sue the state and city- I've been calling for years. I love it here, and my family loves it here. I just want to be able to live a normal life and not one that is full of discrimination. This is a HUGE longshot, but does anyone know any lawyers in Hawai'i who might be interested in fixing this bullshit?
You're all awesome. I hope everyone has a great weekend.
The next orb: https://www.instagram.com/p/B0mcGHunbDY/?igshid=qf63rin3y0h6
I don’t know if you’re still doing matchmaking, or how we’d hook him up with prospects, but the actor who plays Diana’s boyfriend on Younger is single and Miriam Shor sure is trying to fix that in this video. Good looking, likes older women, reads, cooks, and has actually worked as a plumber. And Miriam Shor seems to genuinely like him. https://twitter.com/youngertv/status/1156756120972746755?s=21
Hee! That is sweet. Two summers ago I went to an Amanda Shires concert and she was openly shilling for her drummer who had just gone through a bad break-up. Like, "Drummer is the best and he always picks mean girls, I don't know why he does this to himself, he is single now, please direct all inquiries to the stage, act fast this deal won't last forever."
I just lost my cat to a stroke. I’m 19 and she was almost 16 so I’ve had her for most of my life. I would really appreciate any wisdom you may have for dealing with grief or any good thoughts you could send my way.
Hannah I'm so sorry for your loss. Last summer my husband took my 2 dogs in our divorce. I bawled like a baby and thought I could never love a dog again. Praying for you in this awful time. It gets a little less sad each day. It's probably not possible to believe now, but you may find that you will love a kitten again in the future. Rooting for you xo
My parents came out to visit me in Southern Utah! They have seen a couple shows at my theater and today we tooled around the Parowan Gap area to see some petroglyphs and dinosaur tracks. They are here through the weekend and I’m so excited but also having a hard time keeping my mouth shut about their surprise 50th wedding anniversary party next week that I am secretly flying out there to go to!!
I'm trying to move up to Humboldt County, CA to go to school surrounded by redwoods but have been having a nightmare of a time trying to find housing for my cat and I.
It's stressing me out and I'm trying not to just shut down and do nothing as a coping strategy.
I went to school in Humboldt! The housing there can be a really problem, especially for pets. Which school are you going to and where are you looking?
https://twitter.com/profmusgrave/status/1155957537063096320?s=21
Oh God this is uncomfortably real
This tweet made me think of you. What IS Cory Booker’s skincare regimen? https://twitter.com/metroadlib/status/1156752547182284800
I have never commented on these before because I am still a new subscriber but hi everyone I'm Karis, I'm new and I'm scared but I want to share that I'm doing a challenge where I'm writing poems every day this month to try to raise money for organizations (RAICES Texas! KIND! Save the Children!) and I thought that might be interesting...now I flee.
Welcome, Karis!
This is super petty and continues to delight me
https://mobile.twitter.com/BillyDomineau/status/1156036683424337922
You know what, I take back the petty part!
Is anyone else following the manhunt in Canada? WHERE ARE THEY
No! Who?!
Two teens (but really adults, 18 and 19) went missing around the same time two tourists were found murdered in BC. Now it's turned out the teens likely killed them, plus one other man, and are now on the run through northwestern Canada. They've been spotted a couple times but have mostly been tracked by their vehicles, which they've torched and left almost like breadcrumbs. The last one was in a remote community in northern Manitoba that basically has one road in and out. The whole thing is bizarre and I cannot believe they haven't been caught.
This is a decent rundown: https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-49176309
They STILL haven't found them? That is astounding.
https://twitter.com/eugenemirman/status/1156608428846067712?s=21
That is absolutely brutal and I am here for it!
This one mentions your own divine self, but I had to laugh. https://twitter.com/lolatron/status/1156632122351869952?s=19
And this one, apropos of both Utah and Jesus Wednesday: https://twitter.com/jessiejensen/status/1156337284775628800?s=19
This has been keeping me happy for DAYS https://twitter.com/wrongomens/status/1156553984838176775
Nicole, you're probably busy with the kids, but what's your feeling about subscribers posting info about their businesses here? It's for a resume coaching and writing service, and I'd make a nicely worded, brief post, not spammy.
I'm fine with this!!!
Uh, so, anybody ever done speed-dating? I am in my 30s, sick to death of online dating and living near a big city that has regular speed-dating events. I am thinking about it. I might hate it. But I hate what I’ve got now, so. If nothing else, maybe it’s writing material.
I've done it! (So granted it was queer speed dating at the Strand) and I was shocked at how much fun I had. I didn't have particular success but I didn't regret going.
I did it one as a favour to fill out female #s for a friend that was hosting, so my experience was slightly different, but it was fun, if overwhelming. take notes, or else you won't remember who was who. (if you know shorthand, or a 2nd language, even better!) the one I went to only connected people if both of them "matched" each other in a survey afterward, so it's sort of a safer way of meeting new people, but without the onslaught of the internet. worth a shot!
What city do you live near?
Portland. Been here since spring. Looking for a new job and new dates, and it’s all a lot.
Maybe try looking into meetup groups? It may be a little less pressure than speed dating and you could also network! If you go for speed dating, you can always just leave if it sucks. Either way, best of luck to you!!
Thanks. I also have an on-off thing for someone I can’t have. And I’m so pissed at myself for it, so I know that’s contributing to me feeling like I must find someone to distract me. Which I feel like rarely ends well.
You have my sympathy. On-offs are the worst. Had one for 5 years. They're one of the hardest things to break off, so don't be too hard on yourself. You'll get there!
Thanks. To clarify, I have never been with this person. They’re a friend. And they are very nice to me. And dating someone else. And liking someone you know you can’t have is very easy to start doing but hurts like hell when you have trouble turning it off.
Does anyone have any cream blush recommendations? I've been using Smashbox O-Glow forever and I like it but wondered what else is out there.
Hello! Looking for recommendations on good comfy business casual flats. I’m starting a new job soon (yay!) and the dress code is business casual. My current job dress code is scrubs and sneakers, and because it’s pretty much the same kind of work, I need shoes that will be comfortable with a lot of walking and standing. Technically, I can (and will) wear some cute sneakers but I would like a flat option. Also I have high arches if that makes a difference. I’m looking forward to being able to dress up daily! 😄
Danskos have been so great for my feet and back. The clogs are better for standing than for walking, at least until you get used to them, but they have lots of styles. And they last forever! The Walking Company has them on sale now, if price is a consideration.
Thanks for your help!
You're going to laugh, but I used to get a ton of compliments on these black Crocs flats. https://www.amazon.com/Crocs-Womens-Adrina-Flat-Black/dp/B005CFVWGY/ref=sr_1_23?keywords=crocs+jelly+flats+black&qid=1564764209&s=apparel&sr=1-23
I also LOVE Cole Haan or Corso Como because they use cushioned air soles.
https://www.zappos.com/p/cole-haan-3-zerogrand-bow-skimmer-black-leather/product/9167718/color/72
I got a pair of Birdies flats this winter and I’ve been living in them at work. I bought them after seeing Meghan Markle in a pair.
Good tweets you missed:
https://twitter.com/PateraQuetzaI/status/1156300892733243392
https://twitter.com/MikalebRoehrig/status/1155878352185712641
https://twitter.com/danielortberg/status/1155620571851288576
https://twitter.com/danielortberg/status/1155694645399003137
https://twitter.com/ootwamanda/status/1155673912266543104
https://twitter.com/clairewillett/status/1155338608972144645
I am including Danny ones because they are Good Tweets, even though I imagine he's just texting them to you as he thinks of them in light of this Twitter hiatus
Good articles you maybe missed but maybe not since you're extremely online:
Bim Adewunmi won the RWA Veritas award for this fabulous piece of writing https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/bimadewunmi/meet-the-black-women-upending-the-romance-novel-industry
And this article in The Cut about how the woman who popularized gender reveal parties feels bad about it, she was just happy to be at that point in her pregnancy after several miscarriages https://t.co/iiO2xHljfH
If anyone has any resouces/book recommendations/ words of wisdom on dealing with chronic pain issues, I'd appreciate them. I'm dealing with a couple of non-life-threatening issues that are nonetheless really life-disruptive (restless legs syndrome that has gotten SO BAD recently, and a lower back problem that I have had for years, but has also ramped up the constant pain and tightness and awfulness) and I'm seeing my doctor about it, and they are trying various things, and nothing is really helping. I'm exhausted, I can't sleep much at night, and I am very afraid that this is just my life now, and I don't know how to get my head around the idea that I might just... never have a decent night's sleep again, or ever have a moment where I'm not in pain, and it sucks. I don't really know what to do.
This has more to do with how the body internalizes trauma than chronic pain but was helpful for me as I worked through physical therapy: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00G3L1C2K/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1
I've had chronic pain flare-ups and sleep issues for decades, but you will not feel this way forever. Some things that were helpful to me was talking about my pain to every specialist I had, not just the pain specialist, and my urologist eventually found a combo of meds that worked for me, rather than my neurologist or rheumatologist. I hope you find unexpected allies.
I'm eagerly awaiting this story https://twitter.com/EmmaJanePettit/status/1156678997549494288
Good luck with your trip Nicole! I took just my baby on a train trip and it thoroughly exhausted me so I have nothing but admiration for those who do bigger, bolder things!
We went Phoenix to Nashville when my baby was 8 months old, and my SIL was such an exhausting hostess that when we got to the airport we were like "WOO! Flying with a baby! TSA! This is great!" so I guess it's all relative. 😂
I wish I’d documented the bathtub virgins of Ontario when I drove through in the 80s. Are there any left?
Important Fleabag Jumpsuit news: https://twitter.com/lauinla/status/1158063629775724545?s=21
Nicole!! You need to see Rachel’s dad dancing https://twitter.com/rachsyme/status/1157851495536058370?s=20
It's not a tweet, I guess, but more where I'm trying to become more independent since I still don't have my disability back in full, so I took all my digital artwork (my paintings and hand drawings are not ready for this yet), and opened a sticker shop on teespring!
https://teespring.com/stores/lizzies-shop
I'm not sure it's any good though.
I can’t imagine you haven’t seen this but just in case, it is lovely https://www.oprahmag.com/entertainment/books/amp28510255/ro-kwon-incendiaries-bisexual-twitter/?fbclid=IwAR2rI-ao9JE8SePY6z_LLO9BRuTh3AoxuK871fRBIgZXuyz_FH6N-Q-rVHo&__twitter_impression=true