A girl I'm going out with talked me into watching it and she describes him as a "golden retriever" and even as a defense attorney who hates law enforcement... she is right.
Also, I feel horrible for the people who got sucked into this. If you are making $10/hr and someone offers you a huge amount of money and YOU didn't steal anything and aren't being asked to physically steal anything, it would take a great deal of self-possession to turn that down. And I think the show is treating those people respectfully so far.
And I do not give a SHIT about McDonalds losing money, obviously the issue is that other people were losing the chance to genuinely win the money/cars/houses, McDonalds had already picked the amount they were giving to SOMEONE. McDonalds is not a victim here.
I got so angry with how Colombo doled out the information in a trickle, but avoided lying outright. “You’ll get a million-dollar ticket” is not the same as “You will get a million dollars.” He didn’t tell her the downside until she was in too deep to back out. So gross.
I really appreciated the guy who was like "none of us can look in the mirror and say we haven't done something we wish we could take back" because absolutely. But my god, the woman's story about realizing she was stuck with the taxes on top of her raised mortgage payments. My god.
I work for a state lottery and there are SO many scams out there and people ALWAYS want it to be real and I hate having to be the person to tell them it isn’t. I can absolutely see how the woman this week would have believed everything they were telling her to be true.
I just read your most recent post, and now I'm thinking about how had you posted this on the bird site, how many replies would just be all caps NICOLE!
Maybe it’s just from watching The Wire too much but why is it that gangsters just want to open sleazy clubs? Can they...not think of other “legitimate” business ideas?
They should open the fake club that Jack Donaghy made for Liz Lemon. With Joni Mitchell music and soft lighting and limited noise and no judgement for white wine and Sprite orders.
I had to rewind and watch again to confirm the request was for one coffee with ten creams and five sugars, and one coffee with ten creams and five equals. DEAD.
I believe they like him but hate to be in meetings with him because he won't stay on-topic, riffs off everyone else's ideas, and will talk well into lunchtime BUT EVERYONE will go to any after-work gathering or barbeque if they know he'll be there. Man, that last one...
Sarah Marrs at LaineyGossip on Matthews: "Agent Mathews is basically like if Sterling Archer was real, and an FBI agent. The absolute best thing to happen this month is when someone told me that Agent Mathews had a nickname in his pre-FBI days, and that nickname was “Bazooka”. Bazooka! Has there ever been anyone more suited to the nickname “Bazooka” than Agent Doug Mathews? There can be none more Bazooka!"
i am mad with how much i love doug mathews. i dont want to think about his political opinions or potential racism bc he is so fun! which is how i feel i would be in an alternate universe as an fbi agent.
This is a fucking downer but my father is dying and I just want him to be gone already, I hate this drawn-out period. It didn't seem at ALL like it was going to go this way until last Friday and I'm just enormously conflicted (he was abusive -- still is, I don't know how often he's lucid enough to be a dick to my mom right this second though) and upset and adrift and I want it over with. I want my mom around again instead of occasionally drifting in and judging me.
Matthews is a DELIGHT which is fascinating to me, because I would absolutely find him to be Entirely Too Much were we to ever meet in life. But on TV? My LOVE !
I only watched the first two episodes. A friend asked me why I was bothering watching it, since we had both read the longform piece a couple years back about the scandal. And Special Agent Doug Mathews is basically the entire reason for making a documentary series about this! I can see how it would be flat and better suited for the written word without him.
I've been really scared the past week or so. Was in the ER with abdominal pain, and they found a mass on one of my ovaries. Biopsy isn't until the 2nd of March, which just...fills me with so much anxiety. I don't want this to be cancer. I'm scared if this is cancer, I won't be able to afford treatment or that I won't be able to afford FOOD. I'm scared of everything, and none of my calming techniques are really working. I haven't even been able to make myself draw or paint, because I keep thinking. What do I do?
I know this is a lot to bring up on here. Has anyone else ever dealt with anything like this?
I recently underwent a hysterectomy/oophorectomy for severe endometriosis and ovarian cysts (believe me, I thought long and hard before going through with it, and I'm not sorry). I found out about the cysts when the pain sent me to the ER, and there were more tests and scans before they finally decided the cysts were benign, which finding was borne out when they analyzed the bits after the surgery. Has your doctor ordered up a ROMA test as well? In any case, good luck—it's a lot to deal with. I hope it all turns out benign.
They haven't done that yet They did schedule chemo already, but they've assured me that's just so they can get me in "in case" it turns out to be cancer, not that they're saying it is before they have all the results back. Still, it's...daunting.
I'm glad you turned out to be okay! And thank you for the wellwishes.
The Sailor Moon ColourPop collab has sold out before my lunch break and the Zenni geometric frames I want can't accommodate my weird prescription but these two weird, disappointing foray into the Culture of Stuff can't bring down my Thursday. I'm feeling the best I've felt in a long, long time, and I know it's cheesy at this point but check your meds if you take them, go to therapy if you need it. Even if my face is not magical and my eyesight is poor, at least my brain is back on track.
Also I want to talk all day about McMillions, the only scam that comes close to my love for Elizabeth Holmes and her whole deal.
What really tells you about the whims of law enforcement’s selectiveness is this whole thing happened bc they were bored of healthcare fraud and wanted something sexier. 🙄
But, I mean, we do need SOMEONE to catch serial killers, right? Even prison abolitionism has a "obviously we will still have to employ people to catch and segregate serial killers from the general population" proviso.
I appreciated the agent this week who said he took no pleasure in filming the people who 'won'. And the attorney who also said you would have to look at yourself long and hard in the mirror and really think if you were in their shoes, with the info presented, if you would've done anything differently. It helps knowing that they weren't just like "HA! GOTCHA! You're all idiots and bad people."
I thought he was so so kind (and TRUE) in that scene. I wish more US Attorneys were that thoughtful. We're stuck with them, regardless, and if that recruits some non-horrible people to take those jobs, I think it would be very nice.
My beloved high school American history teacher left us to join the FBI!!!! Someone had made her a giant red CRAP stamp to stamp papers with but she was kind and only gave us the stamp if we got an A.
I mean ... I kind of had a bad feeling about the kid once they showed him in the home video and realized he was kind of conspicuously absent in the interviews but. Shit.
I'm not a binge watcher, but with that cliff hanger (I was screaming "nononono" before my husband even realized what was going on) I wanted to immediately find out about that poor baby.
And I think it would be EXHAUSTING to be Mrs. Special Agent Mathews. Especially in his younger days. So. Much. Talking. I do think someone needs to interview Mrs. Mathews, though, or his gf at the time, whatever.
Doug Matthews' manic energy is making it VERY difficult for me to watch the show; it gives me anxiety. I might just go read the longform article about the scam again.
I think because I've been trying to watch it after work it's just not the energy I need to wind down. Maybe I'll try watching it during the day and stick to Call the Midwife in the evenings.
I cannot believe this show has me cheering for the FEDS and MCDONALDS, he is just so ADORABLE.
A girl I'm going out with talked me into watching it and she describes him as a "golden retriever" and even as a defense attorney who hates law enforcement... she is right.
He is the absolute highlight of the show. I'd watch a crew following him around for sure.
I worry about how many barbecues he'd make me go to if he and I were to bind ourselves in the sacred rite of marriage.
SO MANY
Also, I feel horrible for the people who got sucked into this. If you are making $10/hr and someone offers you a huge amount of money and YOU didn't steal anything and aren't being asked to physically steal anything, it would take a great deal of self-possession to turn that down. And I think the show is treating those people respectfully so far.
And I do not give a SHIT about McDonalds losing money, obviously the issue is that other people were losing the chance to genuinely win the money/cars/houses, McDonalds had already picked the amount they were giving to SOMEONE. McDonalds is not a victim here.
I got so angry with how Colombo doled out the information in a trickle, but avoided lying outright. “You’ll get a million-dollar ticket” is not the same as “You will get a million dollars.” He didn’t tell her the downside until she was in too deep to back out. So gross.
monstrous
Not to mention - $50k a year for $20 years? Technically a million dollars, and yet somehow not the same as a million dollars!
ugh, typo in my first comment, I hate myself
I really appreciated the guy who was like "none of us can look in the mirror and say we haven't done something we wish we could take back" because absolutely. But my god, the woman's story about realizing she was stuck with the taxes on top of her raised mortgage payments. My god.
I yelled “OH NO, THE TAXES” and my cat ran out of the room.
I felt legitimately bad for the woman they interviewed this week.
Also, I couldn't believe Robin's dad's interview. I've never seen anyone lie so badly.
that poor woman!!!!
organized crime is run by actual human monsters
I work for a state lottery and there are SO many scams out there and people ALWAYS want it to be real and I hate having to be the person to tell them it isn’t. I can absolutely see how the woman this week would have believed everything they were telling her to be true.
Me: "Doug, baby, we need to do a Costco run."
Doug: "UNDERCOVER OPERATION!"
Me: "Okay, I'll get the wigs out."
He's not even my type but I love an enthusiastic man. I bet he eats it like he's at a pie-eating contest.
I just read your most recent post, and now I'm thinking about how had you posted this on the bird site, how many replies would just be all caps NICOLE!
THE FUZZY BUNNY
Maybe it’s just from watching The Wire too much but why is it that gangsters just want to open sleazy clubs? Can they...not think of other “legitimate” business ideas?
They should open the fake club that Jack Donaghy made for Liz Lemon. With Joni Mitchell music and soft lighting and limited noise and no judgement for white wine and Sprite orders.
My husband literally screamed "HE'S THAT GUY? HE'S THE CHURCH OF FUZZY BUNNY GUY?" apparently he was familiar...
I HAD THE SAME REACTION!
TEN CREAMS AND FIVE SUGARS.
I have never heard an order like this outside of a Boston Dunkin Donuts.
I had to rewind and watch again to confirm the request was for one coffee with ten creams and five sugars, and one coffee with ten creams and five equals. DEAD.
I'm a four creams, no sugar gal, myself, and if I get to add my own cream it is more like seven bc I refuse to ask for seven creams.
You are being FILMED, drink one coffee with fewer things in it so the world doesn't know your secrets!!!!!
I'm not a coffee drinker so I was both horrified and fascinated by their orders.
My husband and I literally exclaimed WHAT?!? at that moment.
my boyfriend was like "....there's literally no coffee in there."
We gagged and screamed at the same time. HOW. NO.
I'm less surprised by the consumption of the order than I am the willingness to vocalize TEN of anything in an order without perishing on the spot.
Yes there is also that.
right? follow your bliss, but don't do it on-camera
I was more horrified at that amount of Equal. I believe that’s exactly how mice get cancer.
OMG, I had the same reaction! Seems like someone is making a sort-of latte?
ew.
He needs to host America's Most Wanted.
I have no idea how we will pad out the last three episodes but I'm not abandoning my future husband, Special Agent Doug Mathews!
You can tell everyone in the FBI who isn't Doug has an opinion about Doug that they are unwilling to say in camera. So many tight, exasperated smiles.
I NEED TO HEAR FROM SPECIAL AGENT RICHARD DENT.
"Yes. No. I do not recall."
I believe they like him but hate to be in meetings with him because he won't stay on-topic, riffs off everyone else's ideas, and will talk well into lunchtime BUT EVERYONE will go to any after-work gathering or barbeque if they know he'll be there. Man, that last one...
Sarah Marrs at LaineyGossip on Matthews: "Agent Mathews is basically like if Sterling Archer was real, and an FBI agent. The absolute best thing to happen this month is when someone told me that Agent Mathews had a nickname in his pre-FBI days, and that nickname was “Bazooka”. Bazooka! Has there ever been anyone more suited to the nickname “Bazooka” than Agent Doug Mathews? There can be none more Bazooka!"
I would pay an inordinate amount to see a young Special Agent Matthews in that gold suit.
Where. Is. The. Suit.
It really could be a prize in the next round of Monopoly.
i am mad with how much i love doug mathews. i dont want to think about his political opinions or potential racism bc he is so fun! which is how i feel i would be in an alternate universe as an fbi agent.
I am so with you.
This is a fucking downer but my father is dying and I just want him to be gone already, I hate this drawn-out period. It didn't seem at ALL like it was going to go this way until last Friday and I'm just enormously conflicted (he was abusive -- still is, I don't know how often he's lucid enough to be a dick to my mom right this second though) and upset and adrift and I want it over with. I want my mom around again instead of occasionally drifting in and judging me.
I am swarming you with love.
thank you. <33
I totally get this. Your feelings are completely valid. I am rooting for you.
Thank you.
Matthews is a DELIGHT which is fascinating to me, because I would absolutely find him to be Entirely Too Much were we to ever meet in life. But on TV? My LOVE !
I only watched the first two episodes. A friend asked me why I was bothering watching it, since we had both read the longform piece a couple years back about the scandal. And Special Agent Doug Mathews is basically the entire reason for making a documentary series about this! I can see how it would be flat and better suited for the written word without him.
GIVE AGENT DOUG HIS OWN SHOW
SIX SEASONS AND A MOVIE
YES. YES. WOULD WATCH IT ALLLLLL
I’m so glad this forum is here because all my coworkers are real sick of me yelling about the McDonalds scam
Doug Matthews begging to go undercover in every meeting is me presenting ideas in every meeting.
A relatable man.
I've been really scared the past week or so. Was in the ER with abdominal pain, and they found a mass on one of my ovaries. Biopsy isn't until the 2nd of March, which just...fills me with so much anxiety. I don't want this to be cancer. I'm scared if this is cancer, I won't be able to afford treatment or that I won't be able to afford FOOD. I'm scared of everything, and none of my calming techniques are really working. I haven't even been able to make myself draw or paint, because I keep thinking. What do I do?
I know this is a lot to bring up on here. Has anyone else ever dealt with anything like this?
I recently underwent a hysterectomy/oophorectomy for severe endometriosis and ovarian cysts (believe me, I thought long and hard before going through with it, and I'm not sorry). I found out about the cysts when the pain sent me to the ER, and there were more tests and scans before they finally decided the cysts were benign, which finding was borne out when they analyzed the bits after the surgery. Has your doctor ordered up a ROMA test as well? In any case, good luck—it's a lot to deal with. I hope it all turns out benign.
They haven't done that yet They did schedule chemo already, but they've assured me that's just so they can get me in "in case" it turns out to be cancer, not that they're saying it is before they have all the results back. Still, it's...daunting.
I'm glad you turned out to be okay! And thank you for the wellwishes.
.
The Sailor Moon ColourPop collab has sold out before my lunch break and the Zenni geometric frames I want can't accommodate my weird prescription but these two weird, disappointing foray into the Culture of Stuff can't bring down my Thursday. I'm feeling the best I've felt in a long, long time, and I know it's cheesy at this point but check your meds if you take them, go to therapy if you need it. Even if my face is not magical and my eyesight is poor, at least my brain is back on track.
Also I want to talk all day about McMillions, the only scam that comes close to my love for Elizabeth Holmes and her whole deal.
Trying to plan my upcoming wedding on a tiny budget, daydreaming about my crime family giving me thousands of dollars just because
What really tells you about the whims of law enforcement’s selectiveness is this whole thing happened bc they were bored of healthcare fraud and wanted something sexier. 🙄
I'm enjoying this show despite the fact that it is very low-stakes FBI propaganda lol
Like with Mindhunter, I googled to confirm I am too old to join the FBI, a terrible organization I have no respect for!!!!!!!
But, I mean, we do need SOMEONE to catch serial killers, right? Even prison abolitionism has a "obviously we will still have to employ people to catch and segregate serial killers from the general population" proviso.
I appreciated the agent this week who said he took no pleasure in filming the people who 'won'. And the attorney who also said you would have to look at yourself long and hard in the mirror and really think if you were in their shoes, with the info presented, if you would've done anything differently. It helps knowing that they weren't just like "HA! GOTCHA! You're all idiots and bad people."
I thought he was so so kind (and TRUE) in that scene. I wish more US Attorneys were that thoughtful. We're stuck with them, regardless, and if that recruits some non-horrible people to take those jobs, I think it would be very nice.
My beloved high school American history teacher left us to join the FBI!!!! Someone had made her a giant red CRAP stamp to stamp papers with but she was kind and only gave us the stamp if we got an A.
I don’t approve of the FBI...and yet...
DougMathews4Lyfe
Can we talk about the end of episode 3? (Spoilers) Because...well.
I had to do a Google about the baby -- I finished the episode as i was pumping in the middle of the night and felt incredibly anxious and ill!
I just need to know how accidental it was. Because she doesn't seem like a reliable narrator and she sure talked a lot about being stuck.
I could've used a warning for that. :( I turned to my husband when "car seat" got mentioned and said, "I do NOT like where this is going."
I KNOW. I felt like I’d been punched in the chest.
I mean ... I kind of had a bad feeling about the kid once they showed him in the home video and realized he was kind of conspicuously absent in the interviews but. Shit.
WELL THIS WEEK WAS A RELIEF kind of sort of.
Ep 1: Thirsting after both Agent Doug and Amy Murray (also Doug =
reminds me of my segment of the family that is all named Doug + a coworker who recently moved on who is New Jersey 40something cute )
I keep hoping an episode of the podcast will be entirely dedicated to him and still I wait!
I'm not a binge watcher, but with that cliff hanger (I was screaming "nononono" before my husband even realized what was going on) I wanted to immediately find out about that poor baby.
And I think it would be EXHAUSTING to be Mrs. Special Agent Mathews. Especially in his younger days. So. Much. Talking. I do think someone needs to interview Mrs. Mathews, though, or his gf at the time, whatever.
I am COMPLETELY PUZZLED at how anyone could ever find Doug appealing in the slightest, men that pleased with themselves are horrid and infuriating.
life is indeed a rich tapestry
Doug Matthews' manic energy is making it VERY difficult for me to watch the show; it gives me anxiety. I might just go read the longform article about the scam again.
he is constantly thrumming like a hummingbird
I think because I've been trying to watch it after work it's just not the energy I need to wind down. Maybe I'll try watching it during the day and stick to Call the Midwife in the evenings.
the hamburglar did it
has everyone already made this joke
I know they wanted to keep a low profile but how did they call it Operation Final Answer and not Operation Hamburglar???
You KNOW Doug suggested it in six separate meetings.
Agent Doug suggested "Operation Fallen Arches" and I think that was a power choice.
Final Answer was a terrible and unclever name and is a little too close to a notorious “final” operation whenever I hear it.