my darling things

Hello! I am currently watching “Trick,” which is essentially “Halloween,” and recovering from my mother’s decision to return to Canada, which is just as upsetting each time it happens.

Let’s roll in strong with our Featured Pets of the Day. Please meet Martha and Mali:

Their human companion, Amy, reports: “They come from a northern mining town where people are always moving in and moving out, so pet abandonment is very common. They were found on a winter day huddled against the engine of a car in a mall parking lot, trying to get warm.”

“Martha (photo 1, left) was tangled in the alternator belt and badly burned. Mali (photo 1, right) refused to leave her side and cuddled her until she healed. That was years ago and they’re now both healthy, happy, and still spend most of their time snuggling together.”

Amy, you are so kind to have shared Martha & Mali and their love with us. Thank you for improving all of our weeks.

lol yes you are the asshole:

I am getting married in a few weeks and have my bridal party primed and ready, but had a huge disagreement with one of them yesterday.

Her name is Tara, and she is stunning. She's legit the prettiest out of our entire group. Absolutely gorgeous. However, there is one issue. Tara has terrible vision. She needs very strong glasses and even with them on her eyesight is bad. She gets the lenses thinned down as much as possible and even then they are so thick you can't see her eyes behind them. Her eyes can't tolerate contacts.

In our ''bridal meeting'' yesterday, I asked if it was possible for Tara to take off her glasses during the main photos. I wasn't saying this to be cruel. I'd never ask her to take them off during the wedding party and walk around blind, but I'm just asking her to take them off during photos. Without those glasses she's absolutely breathtakingly beautiful, way more than me, but with them on her eyes look weird and distorted and would take all the attention away in the photos for all the wrong reasons.

I brought this up with her but she got really huffy and sulky, told me to try on her glasses so I could see what she would be seeing during the photos if she took them off. I did and it was horrible, but I could stomach it for a few minutes to help out a friend and think she's being really unreasonable. She left early and the rest of the bridal party got at me for asking something so ''horrible''. I don't think it's an unreasonable thing to ask. I'm doing her a favour. Without the glasses she'll easily be the hottest bridesmaid so I would have thought she'd be OK with it.

this is not normal or okay:

3. My coworker keeps asking for large amounts of money

I started my job in August. Every month since then, my coworker (who sits in my office with me, and it’s a two-person room) has asked me for some money. Now, if this were “Can I borrow €2 for coffee” or so, I’d be fine with it. But it’s significant amounts of money. Once she asked me to transfer her €350 as her rent needed to be paid **today** and she didn’t have it in her account.

Just today, while she has been off sick with a while, I got a message from her: “Hey, you bank with (name of institution), right?” When I told her no, I wasn’t going to give her anything as I have an expensive bill to pay already, she said, “Can’t it wait until Monday for you to pay it?” I found that particularly rude and didn’t respond.

She has also tried it with other coworkers, and has asked a coworker if she could use their car when hers was in the mechanics. However, it’s now making me really uncomfortable to work with her. How can I (gently or otherwise) knock this on the head?

I don’t think you’re an asshole but it’s your wife’s medical procedure and she can have/not have anyone there she wants:

My wife and I are expecting our first in May. We've been together 10+ with 7 of them married so naturally we've discussed all things baby, family, etc. One of the things that has come up before is the day of our little ones arrival. I've stated in no uncertain terms that I believe the only ones in the delivery room outside of medical professionals should be her and I. My wife however, has expressed that she'd like her mother to be in the room. We haven't discussed this in some time and definitely not since finding out we're expecting, but I do anticipate the topic coming around again soon.

I take issue with my MIL being there bc while she has been very supportive throughout the process (unsuccessful attempts for years followed by several rounds of IVF) I'm of the opinion that this is one of those bonding moments for us and us alone since we are the ones directly involved in this event. I'm not saying she shouldn't be at the hospital, or even come in to see her before the procedure begins - I'm fine with all of that. But when it comes time for the main event so to speak, I feel it's time for her to head to the waiting room. I want this time alone with my wife to laugh, to cry, to enjoy our child privately before they become a spectacle for everyone else.

I've learned quickly that pregnancy hormones are a very real thing, so I'm not entirely certain what to expect when this conversation happens again. So I'm wondering AITA if I stick to my guns on this one, or am I better off taking one for the team, sucking it up and letting my MIL (in my opinion) ruin the moment.

Oh, hot damn:

you need to break up, this is bad for both of you:

Hi everyone, I’m using a throwaway because my girlfriend knows my reddit account.

Me and her have been going out for approximately a year and a half now, and mostly it has been great. I feel we have a very healthy relationship and are very happy together.

However, for the past 6-9 months her mental health has been not so great. She suffers with depression and anxiety and has really low self esteem when these are bad. I try my best to support her and do what I can, but she is a very independent person and so what I can do is really limited.

The problem is that for the last 6 months or so, any time anything goes wrong in her job, family, university or between us (usually something very minor), she instantly refuses to talk to me, see me and wants to break up with me. I always tell her that that is her choice, and if she feels that she wants to then she can, but then a few days later she will go back to wanting to be in a relationship and be very loving.

I’ve tried to be understanding but it’s really beginning to become difficult for me, I can’t deal with it for much longer because it’s happening once every week or two. I really don’t want to break up with her because I love her a lot, and I would be really worried about her mental health if I did, but it’s becoming increasingly clear that it can’t go on as it is. I’m at a bit of a loss as to what to do.

Any help you guys can give would be really appreciated. Thanks.

you are being reasonable:

My family always meets up several states away at my parents' home for Christmas. This includes my older sister, who has two small children-- one of whom is only just learning to walk, and will be about 10 months come Christmas.

Our dog is a very friendly little guy. Zero aggression, not a mean bone in his body. But he gets excited very easily, and he likes to jump. With a full sized human, that isn't an issue-- you tell him "off," and he eventually calms down and gets over it. With a toddler, he tends to tackle them. This happened last year with my nephew (just shy of three) on a hard concrete surface. No serious injuries, just a scratched knee, and despite his wailing, my sister took it in stride. However, because of the fact that her daughter will be so young, that our parents' home is mostly tile, and that the dog has a track record of tackling small children, she's asked that we not bring the dog this year.

I feel that my sister is being reasonable with this request. I fear that, completely unintentionally, the dog could cause serious damage if he sees a toddler and knocks her down on a tile floor. My girlfriend feels that this is unreasonable, and very much wants to bring the dog with. She's concerned that she won't be there if something happens to him while he's kenneled up for a few days back where we live, or staying with a friend of ours.

She wants to compromise by boarding the dog near my parents' home so that we can go visit as needed, but their part of the world is relatively low in population, so services like Uber or taxis are rare and far between. I've earned her that, even if I'm doing nothing while we're down there, I'm be doing nothing with my family, and I'm not going to drive her to the kennel to play with the dog we see the other 361 days out of the year, and that my family will not loan her one of their cars to make the drive by herself. She feels that we are all being unreasonable. I feel that she's being unreasonable imposing demands upon me and my family over the holiday. AITA?

I fully stan this absolute unit:

Okay! That’s all for today. I love and squish each of you with all my heart. You are strong and capable and hot and a little messed-up and you’re going to be okay.

Love, Nicole