I cried for ten minutes yesterday about What If We Lose Stephen Sondheim who has lived a very long and full life because it’s significantly easier to think about mourning Sondheim than What If One Of My Relatives Dies In Canada And I Never See Them Again And Cannot Go To Their Funeral.
In the middle of the night, I realized that I was actually a 5.5 because I am going to lose a year of my extended family’s life. The best case scenario is that I am going to miss out on a year of my mother’s life and my father’s life and my stepmom’s life and my aunts’ and uncles’ life. And there is a worst case scenario where we lose more than that. And then I woke up and my best friend had sent me this and it explained it:
It’s just going to be a very hard time for people who need a control outlet and have old pathways that light up when things become chaotic. And I’m very solid in this by now but it’s there, you know?
And that’s not food for everyone, that’s going to be substances and it’s going to be other behaviors and a lot of people who have Good Coping Outlets are finding them to be closed off by our current circumstances and I just hold all of those people in my heart right now.
so easy to control that one thing! and so dang hard to put it in context and just try and keep yourself well fed. been thinking about this tons these last few weeks <3
I have woken up from scary nightmares the past two nights. One night, I was stuck in a crowded airport and I couldn't leave, and then the next night I was stuck on a wobbly pedestrian bridge in disrepair over a gorge and the way was blocked and I couldn't get across. Sigh.
Last night in my dreams I kept running away from my friends and family because I was turning into a giant centipede and didn't want to eat them. The worst parts were either waiting for the fangs to unfold in my mouth, or yelling at myself because I hadn't been running so I was slow. My subconscious is all over social distancing apparently.
In the morning I was texting with a writer friend who was talking about writing stories as vessels for her fear in this moment. My imagination seized on the phrase "vessels for my fears." I desperately wish I could pour a vial of "HELP I'M TURNING INTO A GIANT CENTIPEDE" in to Mitch McConnell's morning coffee.
Dreams so far: I'm stealing food and hiding from Nazis, I'm analyzing the coronavirus data and it's all bad, I have Ebola, I'm trying to get home from work with my family but none of the buses are going the right way
This may seem strange but for me one of the silver linings is that my mom died in November so I don't have to worry about her and I am not feeling angst about whether I should leave quarantine (I'm old enough to take it seriously) to go spend time with her.
I'm with you. I've had that thought and I never ever ever thought I would feel that way. And then I feel so, so bad for being slightly relieved and then I miss the singularity of purpose having an ultimate cause like saving your mother can bring. And then I feel horrible again for how it all went down.
So you're not alone, at least. Sending you whatever peace that can be found--
I feel the same! I miss my kids but they can’t come see me because I’m immunocompromised and my son lives with a doctor, and my daughter lives in DC. I’m so afraid that they’ll get sick and be alone!
Thank you Nicky. This made me cry for the first time, and that's a good thing, I've been so frozen. These newsletters in general are so, so helpful for feeling connected to the greater world.
And all the emails from people who need help. I always think of myself as having the ability to be the emergency option for people in my life but I cannot help everyone who needs it and it’s very hard for me to say no and if you need money and I can’t get to it bc of volume and trying to triage my abilities I’m so sorry.
I’m just very used to being able to fix most problems that come my way bc most problems in this country are fundamentally financial and it’s going to be a very long year and strategizing for that year is impossible because we don’t have a handle on how much worse things will be.
my very flat-affect partner has been known to state, blankly, in a deep quiet monotone, "you're doing a great job," and from anyone else (like me) the tone would sound sarcastic, but it's not from him and it's touchingly heartfelt and I send you a rousing but deeply unaffected-sounding Adam "you're doing a great job."
I had a lovely brief FaceTime with my closest heart friends yesterday and we had to keep fighting for a positive note to end on. We got there (a funny thing my baby said) but it took a minute.
I promised myself I would check in on My People at least once a week (Hi! You are all My People, too!), even if it is just to send them dumb tweets, and it has been so good for my mental health.
Also, my friends are starting to get it. And their families. One lost someone not to the virus but because Spain’s overloaded medical system kept pushing him down the line until it was too late. Which is going to keep happening.
Also I have only seen Floyd Cardoz in person maybe once or twice in my life but my earliest NYC saving-up-for-a-nice-meal meals were always Tabla and it’s a weird gap suddenly in my early twenties which is so different from the bullshit “there’s a GAP/Starbucks in St Mark’s Place! My youth is GONE” thing, because it’s actually a death.
I am a 5.5 because I am 99% sure I have corona virus (22 year old intern came in to work and didn’t tell anyone his roommates were sick, they’ve since tested positive, now he’s sick and I’m sick and probably as a result 100 other people are also sick). But I’m on day six and it isn’t that bad for me, in case hearing this helps anyone who has been fixated on the worst outcomes. I’m 31 and I’ve got chest pressure, a little shortness of breath when moving, headache, fatigue. No fever and a cough that took until day six (my doctor said they are seeing lots of young people with no fever or cough) I can’t get tested because they are saving tests for the immunocompromised and healthcare workers, so just know the numbers of symptomatic people is much much worse than is being reported. The only bright side is no longer having to fear being infected, which has been kind of nice at least????? Anyway please for the love of god stay home if you or anyone around you is sick!!!!!!!
My current biggest point of anxiety currently is that my grandpa and his girlfriend had to drive from Wisconsin to Florida so she could help with arrangements for her brother who passed away last week. His passing was unrelated to current events as far as I know, so that's... idk not good per se but, you know. I am worried that the whole state will go into full lockdown before they can leave, not that I think that would necessarily stop my grandpa, and I am worried because they are both in their 80s. I just want to know that they are back on the road home and then back in their homes much sooner rather than later. If anyone has a spare thought in their prayers it would be much appreciated.
I'm maybe a 6 but if I stop to think about the fact that currently you are not allowed to SURF in San Diego it drops to a 4. I am not a surfer but I am passionately attached to this weird Zen religion of ours here in Southern Cal and I suffer empathetically for those who can't practice it for a while. P.S. If you ever watched "Point Break" and scoffed at soul surfers like Bodhi (RIP Patrick), I'm sorry to tell you, it's a one hundred percent accurate portrayal (minus the bank robbing).
And yes I know it is a very minor thing and there are a LOT of other things I could be thinking about that would bring me down to a 4 or lower, but one takes one's anxiety as it comes.
Our city and county closed parking lots at the parks and beaches last week in an attempt to discourage gatherings of more than 10 people in public spaces. Over the weekend a bunch of idiots ignored them, and the parks and beaches were packed, so on Monday the Mayor basically said "this is why we can't have nice things" and they closed all public beaches, boardwalks, bays, trails, and parks. Panicked calls confirmed that includes swimming, boating, all water sports and surfing. It's also to protect our city employees like lifeguards and park rangers. Penalties for violators up to $1,000 or six months in jail.
Many of them are closed. Pacifica has closed all the parking lots for them, though I'm sure people are still walking over from the Safeway parking lot. Not sure if surfing is specifically banned there but probably not encouraged.
I'm currently at like a 3 because my fellowship/internship ends in July and they don't have the budget to keep me (they tried! Four editors lobbied for it! It turns out I'm good at this new career!). So I'm looking at possibly being unemployed again when no one is hiring. The last time was in 2016, when I was on the academic job market, and I crashed and burned and finished my dissertation and then spent 18 months being depressed and unemployed. I was so happy to have this new job/career! And now there's hiring freezes and one job posting I thought I had a good shot at got pulled a week after being posted and it's just all very difficult.
It's hard because I was so depressed before, and this past year I've been so amazingly happy, because I found a thing I was good at in a town I love and I've actually had stability and enough money for food and rent, and medication that works for me, and everything. And now most of that is up in the air and it turns out all my brain issues weren't magically cured, they're just a lot easier to handle when I feel stable.
Also I'm scared of dying and I have a very dear immunocompromised friend whose neighbors are sick and I've already reached the "bitch eating crackers" stage with one of my housemates and if I get covid who will give insulin to my diabetic cat and I'm just having a little bit of a rough time, is all.
*deep breath*
And yet, amazingly, I'm *still* happier than I have been for most of my life, because wow, medication and years of therapy actually work, who knew.
I know how bad it is to do so, and I have been there, and wish I could teleport you and kitty to my guest room for now but - THANK U for reminding me of *bitch eating crackers*
My two least favorite Corona Updates came one right after the other from people who actually had the potential to be helpful in my life. First was the landlord, responding to people’s questions about how often the stairwells and communal laundry area are cleaned with basically “they are cleaned sometimes, and definitely not daily, can’t really get more specific than that.” Then he closed with this direct quote:
“There are many ways you can support your health with eating health, fresh green foods, supplements, working out and feed your mind with positive thoughts!!”
Next up was a video update from the CEO of my airline , who offered like one useful factoid, advises us to wash our hands, and then said he thought it would “really help if we all prayed” and spent about 5 minutes on that plan. I think most in here will agree that prayer, while useful in the right context, is not the plan you want to hear from your CEO.
I also received an unhelpful email from my landlord! My reaction was to start an email chain with my neighbors so we could actually help each other and keep in touch and so I could forward them relevant info on their tenant rights. :)
My workplace EAP sent us some advice on what to do instead of "choosing to stress, which tends to make you more susceptible to illness," because that's helpful.
OMG, that’s my problem, I’ve been CHOOSING stress all these years! How had I never thought to just not choose to feel stress so deeply I get physically ill!
What I’d like to choose now is to punch your workplace’s EAP, because that’s some bullshit and I’m sorry they’re being such idiots.
Could be worse! I told my insurance wellness program that my health goal is to "manage stress better" (because the other options were quitting smoking, managing my diabetes better, and losing weight), and they've been sending me emails about like "the dangers of sleeping in makeup" and "common habits that cause cancer" and (of course) weight loss.
I work at a grocery store, so how I'm doing swings wildly between "almost certainly going to be exposed" and "at least I can still pay my rent". Call it a 5?
The last normal thing my husband and I did before everything shut down was go see Spring Awakening at the local university, and seeing that music made me feel vaguely nostalgic for earlier this month.
The stay at home order for Minnesota starts on Friday so I'm moving in with my girlfriend for (at least) two weeks. (We've been self-isolated from everyone else, not going anywhere, etc, for weeks--but doing so back and forth between our apartments.) I am both THRILLED to have her so I'm not quarantining alone but also VERY nervous because I've lived alone for ten years and never with a romantic partner! Trying to look at it as an adventure!! I love her very much, it will be fine.
In more fun pandemic news, we picked up three pints of freshly made salsa from a local restaurant that was selling it as a fundraiser for their staff and to use up otherwise unused ingredients. We had a chips and salsa FEAST last night.
I moved in with my boyfriend in January and the first two weeks were rocky and things have been great since, but 2 high strung people in 2 high strung job in one 1 bedroom apartment, plus some generalized resentment over cleaning habits, etc. and I was worried and so far it has been really good and good to have the emotional support and be able to touch.
The touch is so important! I told my partner the other day that I was really glad we live together because it lets me hug someone right now. (Among other reasons, obviously.)
It's not the worst brand update, but I have gotten multiple automated "come in and enjoy a free ___ for your birthday!" emails from restaurants that are either only offering carryout right now or are flat out closed. (My birthday is Sunday.)
I have described this week as boredom punctuated by moments of terror. On a day to day basis, I am fine. My husband and I are healthy, the dog is healthy, our families are all healthy in other states, we have food and alcohol and internet. Our state (Illinois) is doing a reasonably good job of social distancing and I think our governor is doing pretty great.
On the other hand, it's hard to read or watch any news. The failures of leadership at a federal level are staggering. I know it will get worse before it gets better. And the days are running together. Boredom and terror.
Thank you, Nicole, for entertaining us and providing us a place to talk!
I'm self-isolating out in the remote countryside with my parents and have been fluctuating between a 6 and 7. I showed them an episode of Kim's Convenience, because we wanted to watch something light, and they fortunately really liked it. However, it unexpectedly made me sad, because I normally live in Toronto, and the show is so unabashedly Toronto
and it made me yearn for a way of life in a city that doesn't exist right now.
I cried for ten minutes yesterday about What If We Lose Stephen Sondheim who has lived a very long and full life because it’s significantly easier to think about mourning Sondheim than What If One Of My Relatives Dies In Canada And I Never See Them Again And Cannot Go To Their Funeral.
Losing Terence McNally was hard enough, I am truly worried for 4/5ths of the board of the Dramatist's Guild.
In the middle of the night, I realized that I was actually a 5.5 because I am going to lose a year of my extended family’s life. The best case scenario is that I am going to miss out on a year of my mother’s life and my father’s life and my stepmom’s life and my aunts’ and uncles’ life. And there is a worst case scenario where we lose more than that. And then I woke up and my best friend had sent me this and it explained it:
https://hbr.org/2020/03/that-discomfort-youre-feeling-is-grief
I am also trying to keep an eye on my (very mildly) disordered eating right now and if that’s you too, hey, I see you.
hey. nicky, that made me cry a little bit. i see you, too.
It’s just going to be a very hard time for people who need a control outlet and have old pathways that light up when things become chaotic. And I’m very solid in this by now but it’s there, you know?
And that’s not food for everyone, that’s going to be substances and it’s going to be other behaviors and a lot of people who have Good Coping Outlets are finding them to be closed off by our current circumstances and I just hold all of those people in my heart right now.
It's so insidious, how mild it is, and I kind of feel ashamed for it being a thing right now but it is still just so easy to control that one thing.
so easy to control that one thing! and so dang hard to put it in context and just try and keep yourself well fed. been thinking about this tons these last few weeks <3
I have woken up from scary nightmares the past two nights. One night, I was stuck in a crowded airport and I couldn't leave, and then the next night I was stuck on a wobbly pedestrian bridge in disrepair over a gorge and the way was blocked and I couldn't get across. Sigh.
I'm so sorry.
Last night in my dreams I kept running away from my friends and family because I was turning into a giant centipede and didn't want to eat them. The worst parts were either waiting for the fangs to unfold in my mouth, or yelling at myself because I hadn't been running so I was slow. My subconscious is all over social distancing apparently.
In the morning I was texting with a writer friend who was talking about writing stories as vessels for her fear in this moment. My imagination seized on the phrase "vessels for my fears." I desperately wish I could pour a vial of "HELP I'M TURNING INTO A GIANT CENTIPEDE" in to Mitch McConnell's morning coffee.
Dreams so far: I'm stealing food and hiding from Nazis, I'm analyzing the coronavirus data and it's all bad, I have Ebola, I'm trying to get home from work with my family but none of the buses are going the right way
This may seem strange but for me one of the silver linings is that my mom died in November so I don't have to worry about her and I am not feeling angst about whether I should leave quarantine (I'm old enough to take it seriously) to go spend time with her.
I'm with you. I've had that thought and I never ever ever thought I would feel that way. And then I feel so, so bad for being slightly relieved and then I miss the singularity of purpose having an ultimate cause like saving your mother can bring. And then I feel horrible again for how it all went down.
So you're not alone, at least. Sending you whatever peace that can be found--
Thanks.
My mom died three years ago from cancer and I cannot imagine how frantic I’d be if she was still alive right now
I feel the same! I miss my kids but they can’t come see me because I’m immunocompromised and my son lives with a doctor, and my daughter lives in DC. I’m so afraid that they’ll get sick and be alone!
I shared that article with family and friends today. It really hit home for me and made me feel better about how awful I feel.
Thank you Nicky. This made me cry for the first time, and that's a good thing, I've been so frozen. These newsletters in general are so, so helpful for feeling connected to the greater world.
Such a good article. The best kind, that clarifies something you were going through but couldn't get a handle on.
I also found this article helpful: https://www.autostraddle.com/a-therapist-on-what-you-need-to-know-about-your-own-mental-health-in-the-time-of-covid19/
And all the emails from people who need help. I always think of myself as having the ability to be the emergency option for people in my life but I cannot help everyone who needs it and it’s very hard for me to say no and if you need money and I can’t get to it bc of volume and trying to triage my abilities I’m so sorry.
I’m just very used to being able to fix most problems that come my way bc most problems in this country are fundamentally financial and it’s going to be a very long year and strategizing for that year is impossible because we don’t have a handle on how much worse things will be.
In case anyone hasn’t told you, since you are out here solving everyone else’s problems, Nicole, you are doing amazing too
my very flat-affect partner has been known to state, blankly, in a deep quiet monotone, "you're doing a great job," and from anyone else (like me) the tone would sound sarcastic, but it's not from him and it's touchingly heartfelt and I send you a rousing but deeply unaffected-sounding Adam "you're doing a great job."
I had a lovely brief FaceTime with my closest heart friends yesterday and we had to keep fighting for a positive note to end on. We got there (a funny thing my baby said) but it took a minute.
I promised myself I would check in on My People at least once a week (Hi! You are all My People, too!), even if it is just to send them dumb tweets, and it has been so good for my mental health.
there is something almost comforting knowing that My People *will* see anything I send them because they're ALL HOME and bored
Also, my friends are starting to get it. And their families. One lost someone not to the virus but because Spain’s overloaded medical system kept pushing him down the line until it was too late. Which is going to keep happening.
Also I have only seen Floyd Cardoz in person maybe once or twice in my life but my earliest NYC saving-up-for-a-nice-meal meals were always Tabla and it’s a weird gap suddenly in my early twenties which is so different from the bullshit “there’s a GAP/Starbucks in St Mark’s Place! My youth is GONE” thing, because it’s actually a death.
Bee update! I have my bees and they’re doing orientation flights!!! Someone asked if I have an Instagram for the hives. Yes, I do: StephsBees0320.
the new hires acclimating themselves to the office. sounds like they have a good HRBP (human resources bee person).
Follow if you like ❤️🐝
Omg yay bees.
YES thank you
YAY you are the BEE BOSS
omg, going to follow and live vicariously through you!!
It makes perfect sense, but I'm delighted to learn that bees do something called orientation flights!
I am a 5.5 because I am 99% sure I have corona virus (22 year old intern came in to work and didn’t tell anyone his roommates were sick, they’ve since tested positive, now he’s sick and I’m sick and probably as a result 100 other people are also sick). But I’m on day six and it isn’t that bad for me, in case hearing this helps anyone who has been fixated on the worst outcomes. I’m 31 and I’ve got chest pressure, a little shortness of breath when moving, headache, fatigue. No fever and a cough that took until day six (my doctor said they are seeing lots of young people with no fever or cough) I can’t get tested because they are saving tests for the immunocompromised and healthcare workers, so just know the numbers of symptomatic people is much much worse than is being reported. The only bright side is no longer having to fear being infected, which has been kind of nice at least????? Anyway please for the love of god stay home if you or anyone around you is sick!!!!!!!
Sending all the good thoughts your way (and to your coworkers, including the one who didn't stay home).
My current biggest point of anxiety currently is that my grandpa and his girlfriend had to drive from Wisconsin to Florida so she could help with arrangements for her brother who passed away last week. His passing was unrelated to current events as far as I know, so that's... idk not good per se but, you know. I am worried that the whole state will go into full lockdown before they can leave, not that I think that would necessarily stop my grandpa, and I am worried because they are both in their 80s. I just want to know that they are back on the road home and then back in their homes much sooner rather than later. If anyone has a spare thought in their prayers it would be much appreciated.
I’m saying one now.
Thank you <3
I'm maybe a 6 but if I stop to think about the fact that currently you are not allowed to SURF in San Diego it drops to a 4. I am not a surfer but I am passionately attached to this weird Zen religion of ours here in Southern Cal and I suffer empathetically for those who can't practice it for a while. P.S. If you ever watched "Point Break" and scoffed at soul surfers like Bodhi (RIP Patrick), I'm sorry to tell you, it's a one hundred percent accurate portrayal (minus the bank robbing).
And yes I know it is a very minor thing and there are a LOT of other things I could be thinking about that would bring me down to a 4 or lower, but one takes one's anxiety as it comes.
Wow I’m surprised. I don’t think our NorCal beaches are closed at all?? Maybe bc they’re less crowded?
Our city and county closed parking lots at the parks and beaches last week in an attempt to discourage gatherings of more than 10 people in public spaces. Over the weekend a bunch of idiots ignored them, and the parks and beaches were packed, so on Monday the Mayor basically said "this is why we can't have nice things" and they closed all public beaches, boardwalks, bays, trails, and parks. Panicked calls confirmed that includes swimming, boating, all water sports and surfing. It's also to protect our city employees like lifeguards and park rangers. Penalties for violators up to $1,000 or six months in jail.
Many of them are closed. Pacifica has closed all the parking lots for them, though I'm sure people are still walking over from the Safeway parking lot. Not sure if surfing is specifically banned there but probably not encouraged.
I'm currently at like a 3 because my fellowship/internship ends in July and they don't have the budget to keep me (they tried! Four editors lobbied for it! It turns out I'm good at this new career!). So I'm looking at possibly being unemployed again when no one is hiring. The last time was in 2016, when I was on the academic job market, and I crashed and burned and finished my dissertation and then spent 18 months being depressed and unemployed. I was so happy to have this new job/career! And now there's hiring freezes and one job posting I thought I had a good shot at got pulled a week after being posted and it's just all very difficult.
It's hard because I was so depressed before, and this past year I've been so amazingly happy, because I found a thing I was good at in a town I love and I've actually had stability and enough money for food and rent, and medication that works for me, and everything. And now most of that is up in the air and it turns out all my brain issues weren't magically cured, they're just a lot easier to handle when I feel stable.
Also I'm scared of dying and I have a very dear immunocompromised friend whose neighbors are sick and I've already reached the "bitch eating crackers" stage with one of my housemates and if I get covid who will give insulin to my diabetic cat and I'm just having a little bit of a rough time, is all.
*deep breath*
And yet, amazingly, I'm *still* happier than I have been for most of my life, because wow, medication and years of therapy actually work, who knew.
I know how bad it is to do so, and I have been there, and wish I could teleport you and kitty to my guest room for now but - THANK U for reminding me of *bitch eating crackers*
You're welcome! I'm glad it could bring you joy. And thanks for the sympathy <3
My two least favorite Corona Updates came one right after the other from people who actually had the potential to be helpful in my life. First was the landlord, responding to people’s questions about how often the stairwells and communal laundry area are cleaned with basically “they are cleaned sometimes, and definitely not daily, can’t really get more specific than that.” Then he closed with this direct quote:
“There are many ways you can support your health with eating health, fresh green foods, supplements, working out and feed your mind with positive thoughts!!”
Next up was a video update from the CEO of my airline , who offered like one useful factoid, advises us to wash our hands, and then said he thought it would “really help if we all prayed” and spent about 5 minutes on that plan. I think most in here will agree that prayer, while useful in the right context, is not the plan you want to hear from your CEO.
Thanks fellas, I feel sooo safe in your hands.
I also received an unhelpful email from my landlord! My reaction was to start an email chain with my neighbors so we could actually help each other and keep in touch and so I could forward them relevant info on their tenant rights. :)
Mine sent a mass text with the address of the job services center. Super cool.
I don't know why any of these people seem convinced their guidance is needed during this time. None of them are leaders. Thank you.
My workplace EAP sent us some advice on what to do instead of "choosing to stress, which tends to make you more susceptible to illness," because that's helpful.
OMG, that’s my problem, I’ve been CHOOSING stress all these years! How had I never thought to just not choose to feel stress so deeply I get physically ill!
What I’d like to choose now is to punch your workplace’s EAP, because that’s some bullshit and I’m sorry they’re being such idiots.
Could be worse! I told my insurance wellness program that my health goal is to "manage stress better" (because the other options were quitting smoking, managing my diabetes better, and losing weight), and they've been sending me emails about like "the dangers of sleeping in makeup" and "common habits that cause cancer" and (of course) weight loss.
I work at a grocery store, so how I'm doing swings wildly between "almost certainly going to be exposed" and "at least I can still pay my rent". Call it a 5?
The last normal thing my husband and I did before everything shut down was go see Spring Awakening at the local university, and seeing that music made me feel vaguely nostalgic for earlier this month.
Thank you, hero. And also I'm so sorry
I'm at a 6 so far too, I think.
The stay at home order for Minnesota starts on Friday so I'm moving in with my girlfriend for (at least) two weeks. (We've been self-isolated from everyone else, not going anywhere, etc, for weeks--but doing so back and forth between our apartments.) I am both THRILLED to have her so I'm not quarantining alone but also VERY nervous because I've lived alone for ten years and never with a romantic partner! Trying to look at it as an adventure!! I love her very much, it will be fine.
In more fun pandemic news, we picked up three pints of freshly made salsa from a local restaurant that was selling it as a fundraiser for their staff and to use up otherwise unused ingredients. We had a chips and salsa FEAST last night.
I moved in with my boyfriend in January and the first two weeks were rocky and things have been great since, but 2 high strung people in 2 high strung job in one 1 bedroom apartment, plus some generalized resentment over cleaning habits, etc. and I was worried and so far it has been really good and good to have the emotional support and be able to touch.
This is good to hear! For all my nerves about it, the thought of being separated is worse.
The touch is so important! I told my partner the other day that I was really glad we live together because it lets me hug someone right now. (Among other reasons, obviously.)
It's not the worst brand update, but I have gotten multiple automated "come in and enjoy a free ___ for your birthday!" emails from restaurants that are either only offering carryout right now or are flat out closed. (My birthday is Sunday.)
I have described this week as boredom punctuated by moments of terror. On a day to day basis, I am fine. My husband and I are healthy, the dog is healthy, our families are all healthy in other states, we have food and alcohol and internet. Our state (Illinois) is doing a reasonably good job of social distancing and I think our governor is doing pretty great.
On the other hand, it's hard to read or watch any news. The failures of leadership at a federal level are staggering. I know it will get worse before it gets better. And the days are running together. Boredom and terror.
Thank you, Nicole, for entertaining us and providing us a place to talk!
I'm self-isolating out in the remote countryside with my parents and have been fluctuating between a 6 and 7. I showed them an episode of Kim's Convenience, because we wanted to watch something light, and they fortunately really liked it. However, it unexpectedly made me sad, because I normally live in Toronto, and the show is so unabashedly Toronto
and it made me yearn for a way of life in a city that doesn't exist right now.