I’ve been job searching (and would appreciate everyone’s prayers) and cover letters are the bane of my exist (seriously in need of prayers) and yesterday I applied for a faith based job and got to write my cover blurb talking about Jesus and quoting scripture and it was such a fun twist from the other million cover letters!
If you become possessed I think someone should gently comfort you, but it also could be a SMIDGE your fault because of collecting cursed objects on sale
I have a client being sentenced today and my heart is very heavy as he is a good man who nominally broke the law to help feed his family and is likely to get absolutely slaughtered by our judge who is hard-hearted on the best day. I feel very helpless and have been praying all day but if anyone else wishes to remember my client in their prayers and pray that God is with him today in the courtroom I (and he) would appreciate it.
So, this newsletter has really set me off on a path, because it helped me realize how much of a hole was in my life where once my “walk with God” used to be. TLDR is that I was an adult atheist who became an agnostic who, once that door was opened a TINY CRACK, was rescued by God and Jesus. I am a hugely conflicted believer because I think the Bible has a lot to answer for and is problematic and has been used for evil and is worshipped unhealthily in this society AND YET modern Christianity is the symbol set that God used to reconcile me to God. I read the whole thing in a contemporary translation, I prayed “God, if you want me you’re going to have to break my pride and bring me to you,” and God did. Protip: do not pray to have your pride broken. That was almost 20 years ago. I still think Christianity seems crazy and stupid and I am embarrassed that it happened to me, but also, my eyes fill when I think of that moment when I cried out in my heart asking God, “why did you leave me so alone for so long” and I *literally* heard a voice other than mine say “You were never alone; I was always there waiting.” Anyway, I’m on the hunt for a church. I’ve found a Blue Ocean church called Foundry414 here in Madison that might be the Jesus-centered open & affirming place I long for. It’s early days yet, but I’ve attended twice and am not hating it.
This newsletter, though! I love reading everyone’s comments here and long for this space all week. My specific prayer request is that I feel the peace and grace of God as I am brought back into community with others and that whatever the Holy Spirit is preparing me for, I have the open heart to receive it. Much love to everyone.
FaceBook just told me that it’s my “friendaversary” or whatever made up thing it has for when I friended my dearest Sarah, I guess twelve years ago or something. Yeah, whatever Facebook. I friended Sarah my first day of college. Eighteen years ago. And this earthly world lost her in January. And she was so much of my heart and I miss her so fucking much that I would just like to weep now. And this has nothing to do with Jesus (especially bc she was Jewish), I’m just putting it out there because I have to put it SOMEWHERE or I will burst. And I can’t burst - or weep - because I must go and parent my children.
Praying especially hard for the reader with a pastor father and a sick sister and a worn out mother -- as a pastor's kid myself, it's hard to describe the unique kind of feelings that spring up when your parent is insanely capable at taking care of people except for if those people are related to him. The shoemaker's daughter has no shoes, etc. May Jesus be a source of strength in body, courage in spirit, and relief in community.
In the first Jesus Wednesday post, someone shared a quiz in the thread to find which faith best aligns with your beliefs (I don't remember your username, but thank you!). I got Liberal Quaker in it and I just reached out to the community here in my city and will hopefully be going along on Sunday to join the group and see it it fits in person! (as well as sounding quite right from the research I've been doing)
I'm leaving for a mission trip (work-based, not evangelism-- we're UCC) with my 32 high school-aged Sunday school dumplings on Saturday. There's a lot of excitement and stress; we just had one of our 6 adult leaders drop out and there can be tension among some of the leaders and while they all do beautiful things to support our youth... anyway we're all imperfect people, right? But, it should be a beautiful trip. We're doing hurricane repair work in the gulf coast with an organization that serves low income individuals and it's such a privilege to watch these youths get radicalized towards a life of social justice and also just being beautiful, weird humans. My first trip with this crew completely upended my life and I can't wait to see what God throws at me this time. I work now in an unpleasant, high-stress tech environment where my job is, effectively, to absorb the disappointment and projections of impotence from rich white men while I sell things to generate value for shareholders. That first mission trip made me realize this wasn't the life I was meant for and now I'm in school full time (I dropped out long ago, so finishing my undergrad in psychology while still working the Terrible Job TM more than full time) and I'm trying to figure out of I'm being pulled towards mental health counseling or ministry. I hope to leave this trip with some clarity there. It was entirely my teens that helped me realize that there was a level of satisfaction and meaning that can be created in my profession life available to me beyond corporate shill-ery. Well. Also Jesus. But the teens were that bright and shiny mirror. These last few days before the trip are intense with work and school and also my husband, who owns a used bookstore in Chicago, is in the middle of relocating and setting up his business in a new neighborhood so evenings are split between homework and reshelving 22,000 books and deciding where decidedly haunted portraits get hung. Have you ever seen those indoor beaches with the wave pools that are full of people just being moved by the waves and other people's bodies? That's how I feel. If anyone has any advice on how to perform enough self care to continue over-functioning or room for prayer for a safe trip and adults learning how to center the teens' needs first and fruitful work and hearts broken open to suffering and systematic injustice in the world and maybe our hands creating a small amount of healing or helpful tips on how to survive 400% humidity and flying cockroaches, it would be a real gift.
LOVING today's guest and taking note of their reading list! I'm a cradle evangelical who had to walk away from her childhood church and I'm mad at a lot of churchy stuff, but always extremely interested in reading/learning about different Christian perspectives. I would describe my relationship to Jesus as not estranged, exactly, but more like when a friend mentions a specific person and you're like "I don't know them, but I've heard wonderful things!" If that makes sense. But, I'm living for Jesus Wednesday and all of these prayer requests are so heartbreaking and important and you can bet I will pray for them in my tentative, "Are you there God?" style.
I’m trying to keep calm in the face of a big honking life change: I’m moving! To Bangladesh! On Sunday! It’s super exciting, because I get to do the job I’ve wanted since I was 17, but it also means moving away from nearly my entire support system (hard enough without my depression and anxiety), plus two years of long distance with my boyfriend, and all following the loss of my church community when our pastor decided to singlehandedly shut down the music ministry (I sang in the choir). Excited, grateful, grieving, scared—it’s a lot! So prayers and noodles are the way forward.
I’ve been job searching (and would appreciate everyone’s prayers) and cover letters are the bane of my exist (seriously in need of prayers) and yesterday I applied for a faith based job and got to write my cover blurb talking about Jesus and quoting scripture and it was such a fun twist from the other million cover letters!
If you become possessed I think someone should gently comfort you, but it also could be a SMIDGE your fault because of collecting cursed objects on sale
I have a client being sentenced today and my heart is very heavy as he is a good man who nominally broke the law to help feed his family and is likely to get absolutely slaughtered by our judge who is hard-hearted on the best day. I feel very helpless and have been praying all day but if anyone else wishes to remember my client in their prayers and pray that God is with him today in the courtroom I (and he) would appreciate it.
So, this newsletter has really set me off on a path, because it helped me realize how much of a hole was in my life where once my “walk with God” used to be. TLDR is that I was an adult atheist who became an agnostic who, once that door was opened a TINY CRACK, was rescued by God and Jesus. I am a hugely conflicted believer because I think the Bible has a lot to answer for and is problematic and has been used for evil and is worshipped unhealthily in this society AND YET modern Christianity is the symbol set that God used to reconcile me to God. I read the whole thing in a contemporary translation, I prayed “God, if you want me you’re going to have to break my pride and bring me to you,” and God did. Protip: do not pray to have your pride broken. That was almost 20 years ago. I still think Christianity seems crazy and stupid and I am embarrassed that it happened to me, but also, my eyes fill when I think of that moment when I cried out in my heart asking God, “why did you leave me so alone for so long” and I *literally* heard a voice other than mine say “You were never alone; I was always there waiting.” Anyway, I’m on the hunt for a church. I’ve found a Blue Ocean church called Foundry414 here in Madison that might be the Jesus-centered open & affirming place I long for. It’s early days yet, but I’ve attended twice and am not hating it.
This newsletter, though! I love reading everyone’s comments here and long for this space all week. My specific prayer request is that I feel the peace and grace of God as I am brought back into community with others and that whatever the Holy Spirit is preparing me for, I have the open heart to receive it. Much love to everyone.
FaceBook just told me that it’s my “friendaversary” or whatever made up thing it has for when I friended my dearest Sarah, I guess twelve years ago or something. Yeah, whatever Facebook. I friended Sarah my first day of college. Eighteen years ago. And this earthly world lost her in January. And she was so much of my heart and I miss her so fucking much that I would just like to weep now. And this has nothing to do with Jesus (especially bc she was Jewish), I’m just putting it out there because I have to put it SOMEWHERE or I will burst. And I can’t burst - or weep - because I must go and parent my children.
Praying especially hard for the reader with a pastor father and a sick sister and a worn out mother -- as a pastor's kid myself, it's hard to describe the unique kind of feelings that spring up when your parent is insanely capable at taking care of people except for if those people are related to him. The shoemaker's daughter has no shoes, etc. May Jesus be a source of strength in body, courage in spirit, and relief in community.
In the first Jesus Wednesday post, someone shared a quiz in the thread to find which faith best aligns with your beliefs (I don't remember your username, but thank you!). I got Liberal Quaker in it and I just reached out to the community here in my city and will hopefully be going along on Sunday to join the group and see it it fits in person! (as well as sounding quite right from the research I've been doing)
I'm leaving for a mission trip (work-based, not evangelism-- we're UCC) with my 32 high school-aged Sunday school dumplings on Saturday. There's a lot of excitement and stress; we just had one of our 6 adult leaders drop out and there can be tension among some of the leaders and while they all do beautiful things to support our youth... anyway we're all imperfect people, right? But, it should be a beautiful trip. We're doing hurricane repair work in the gulf coast with an organization that serves low income individuals and it's such a privilege to watch these youths get radicalized towards a life of social justice and also just being beautiful, weird humans. My first trip with this crew completely upended my life and I can't wait to see what God throws at me this time. I work now in an unpleasant, high-stress tech environment where my job is, effectively, to absorb the disappointment and projections of impotence from rich white men while I sell things to generate value for shareholders. That first mission trip made me realize this wasn't the life I was meant for and now I'm in school full time (I dropped out long ago, so finishing my undergrad in psychology while still working the Terrible Job TM more than full time) and I'm trying to figure out of I'm being pulled towards mental health counseling or ministry. I hope to leave this trip with some clarity there. It was entirely my teens that helped me realize that there was a level of satisfaction and meaning that can be created in my profession life available to me beyond corporate shill-ery. Well. Also Jesus. But the teens were that bright and shiny mirror. These last few days before the trip are intense with work and school and also my husband, who owns a used bookstore in Chicago, is in the middle of relocating and setting up his business in a new neighborhood so evenings are split between homework and reshelving 22,000 books and deciding where decidedly haunted portraits get hung. Have you ever seen those indoor beaches with the wave pools that are full of people just being moved by the waves and other people's bodies? That's how I feel. If anyone has any advice on how to perform enough self care to continue over-functioning or room for prayer for a safe trip and adults learning how to center the teens' needs first and fruitful work and hearts broken open to suffering and systematic injustice in the world and maybe our hands creating a small amount of healing or helpful tips on how to survive 400% humidity and flying cockroaches, it would be a real gift.
LOVING today's guest and taking note of their reading list! I'm a cradle evangelical who had to walk away from her childhood church and I'm mad at a lot of churchy stuff, but always extremely interested in reading/learning about different Christian perspectives. I would describe my relationship to Jesus as not estranged, exactly, but more like when a friend mentions a specific person and you're like "I don't know them, but I've heard wonderful things!" If that makes sense. But, I'm living for Jesus Wednesday and all of these prayer requests are so heartbreaking and important and you can bet I will pray for them in my tentative, "Are you there God?" style.
Well, you maybe didn’t cry but I did. :) Happy tears. Thanks for this today. Praying for all our friends.
I’m trying to keep calm in the face of a big honking life change: I’m moving! To Bangladesh! On Sunday! It’s super exciting, because I get to do the job I’ve wanted since I was 17, but it also means moving away from nearly my entire support system (hard enough without my depression and anxiety), plus two years of long distance with my boyfriend, and all following the loss of my church community when our pastor decided to singlehandedly shut down the music ministry (I sang in the choir). Excited, grateful, grieving, scared—it’s a lot! So prayers and noodles are the way forward.
Of interest - the Gospel of Fleabag: https://imagejournal.org/2019/06/13/the-gospel-according-to-fleabag/