I finally got the job! I was laid off in January and for the last few months I have been a walking ball of anxiety. But yesterday I signed the papers on a new gig for more money, better benefits, at a better agency.
A great way to go into Memorial Day weekend. Now I can enjoy time with friends without worrying about money. I start Tuesday.
Congrats! What a wonderful turn of events for you. I know too well that anxiety and wouldn't wish it on anyone. So glad that things are turning around for you!
We rescued an abandoned feral kitten from our yard a few weeks ago and she was doing great...until she developed a 107 degree fever of unknown cause. The only thing we could do was keep her cool and comfortable.
This little one was on death’s door Monday and then by Tuesday afternoon she had a normal temperature. We think she’s going to make it! Right now she’s playing in a shoe!
I just found out that I've got PhD funding (yay!) but now have to move to Dublin in three months (aaaah!) Anyone have any advice on things to do in Dublin, starting a PhD, really anything??
Congrats! Also current PhD student, my advice is the most important part of the summer before is getting yourself settled and comfortable: finding housing, setting up your room, locating grocery stores, coffee places, takeout places, nice parks, and maybe even finding places you can keep doing your sports/hobbies so you feel like you have a life in the area beside the university. Also, talk to fellow students and older students about what they're up to and what to expect. Good luck!
Thank you! I've got just under a month between finishing my MA and starting my PhD, but am moving as soon as possible after and am also planning to visit as much as possible in between now and then, and hopefully meet current students as I go!
No advice on housing, and grain of salt because I haven't been there since 2006, but Dublin has a number of weird little free/cheap museums. Lots of shabby taxidermy to be had if you're into that sort of thing. And if you like whiskey, hit up the Jameson distillery tour.
The Dead Zoo! The Dead Zoo is the best. Not only is it a museum, but it's also a museum of what a museum used to be like 100 years ago. The taxidermied lemurs make me CACKLE. (It's actually called like the natural history museum of Dublin or something, but it's really the dead zoo.)
Congrats! Current PhD student here (3rd year): it's a marathon not a sprint, pace yourself and find a rhythm that works for you and doesn't hurt your productivity. The relationship with your advisor takes work and might be intimidating at first but it's super important. Don't track your progress by comparing it to others in your cohort. We are all doing our own niche and hyper-specialized stuff and not all work is the same. Good luck!
Thank you! I'm doing my MA dissertation over the summer, which will hopefully help me get to know how I work on larger projects (even one ten times shorter than a PhD thesis...) Good luck with your PhD!
I'm sure Dublin has changed a lot since I lived there, but I recommend checking out Ranelagh as a neighborhood (imho, south of the Liffey is better, unless your program is on the north side, and anything outside of the canal should hopefully be a little cheaper, but still on the Luas for easy commuting.)
Ireland is small! So over time, definitely make some trips out to the other coasts to explore (cliffs of Moher, the ring of Kerry, giants causeway, connemara/the burren, Belfast. (Keep an eye on the brexit situation, obvs.) I love love love Killarney National Park). One of my favorite hidden gems in Dublin is St. Michan's. If you go on their church tour, they'll take you into the basement, where there are mummies (including one from the crusades!) (The national museum also used to have bog mummies.) I have weirdly been thinking about George's arcade recently, which is an indoor market. Really, Dublin is easy to get around. And don't discount taking a cheesy tourist bus tour your first week to start to get a feel for the lay of the land. Other recs: I like Glasnevin cemetery (lots of famous figures buries there). Newgrange is an easy morning trip (it's much older than the pyramids!) Find a nice pub and have a full brekkie and/or a hot whiskey for me!
that's so exciting, and congrats! dunno anything about dublin but with respect to starting a phd: start building a social net as soon as you get there. ideally, try to include people who are in your program, people who are in other programs, and people totally unaffiliated with post-grad education. or, yknow, whatever works for you personally with maintaining mental health. i've found that phd work and programs can vary a lot but pretty much any of them are surmountable as long as you have somewhere else to turn to when work-life gets rough. also, others have gotten at this in their replies but don't let yourself get caught in the funnel of your Topic and Just Your Topic; exploration is a great tool against stagnation.
Congratulations! In retrospect, one of the best things about being in a PhD program was the chance to learn about and explore different areas. Even if you're under pressure to hit some job-market productivity quotas, try to find time to play intellectually.
i studied at trinity as a visiting student and adored my time there. now i get back now & again because one of my clients is based there. such a lovely city and so many great day/weekend trips! enjoy!
oooh congrats! I moved out of Dublin last year, but yeah accomodation is super rough and some living costs can be :/, but there's a lot of support out there for students so don't be afraid to look for help! Starting a PhD can be intimidating but definitely talk to current students and staff other than your supervisor, especially if there are postdocs in your department they can be a huge source of help. My biggest suggestion would be to make time to get out of the city and explore the rest of Ireland when you can!
Thank you! I am hoping to do a lot of Ireland exploring; I've got to go see some people in Cork and Maynooth and am hoping to do some road tripping and sightseeing when I do!
Thank you! I'm on it already and probably have a student specific place to live from September to July, giving me almost a year to find somewhere more permanent; the Dublin accommodation market is very intimidating.
I’m having a memorial day party where basically no one knows it’s my birthday party, just as I always do :)... I love being around the people I love, but I hate being the center of attention :)
I just found out that I'm gong to be able to quit my crappy job and go to library school full time! I still have three more months here and the waiting feels unbearable! The emotions have been absolutely overwhelming - joy, anxiety, grief - but I just have to shout it to the world wherever possible because I feel like I'm bursting at the seams!
I am ONE MONTH away from embarking on a month-long solo vacation across the US and I'm super excited (and also a little bit terrified, so if you have any great tips for traveling alone, I'd love to hear them)!
My biggest tip is to give yourself dedicated down time. Like, a day (or a few hours a week) when you allow yourself to just be lazy. Order room service, lay in bed all day, have naked time in your hotel room. Whatever. It helps you feel recharged, and when I do that before I'm actually exhausted, I feel less spent.
Also, I've found that staying off social media one day a week really helps me feel better. It's like I can drop the pretenses, not worry about taking care of others or sharing anything, and not get stressed out by the ridiculousness online.
Enjoy yourself. You're doing a glorious thing, and while it won't be sunshine and roses the entire time, it's still going to be wonderful!
Thank you! I'm staying in a fancy-ish hotel in SF because everything else was booked for a tech conference - I think I will take your advice and have a very indulgent room-service-and-lounging-day there!
I don’t know how familiar you are with SF-but that sounds like an excellent plan as weirdly a lot of the fancy hotels are in a not so nice area and when big tech conferences are in town (especially the big sales force one) the city gets more overcrowded than usual.
Oh, that sounds lovely. I'd budget for indulgence (time and money-wise) so you don't feel any guilt about it. I tend to think I could've spent the time and money in better ways, but sometimes pampering IS the better way, you know?
For me (a not great at traveling alone person) the biggest struggle I have is getting decision fatigue. You have to make so many more choices when traveling and sometimes I just wanted someone else to make the choice. If I were to travel alone again, I would make sure to give myself some time off from trying to see/do everything and also book some things in advance of travel so I would have that choice taken away from me when I got there!
Thank you! I think I will use these last few weeks to block an activity or two in each city where I have nothing, and maybe scale back plans in some places where there is just so much to see that I'm probably overdoing it.
Oh and also-snacks! This is a personal problem so it my not apply but I get really grumpy when I’m hungry so having a snack in my purse to eat quickly keeps me going. My best travel buddy carries Trader Joe’s single serving trail mix packs to force on me when I am in denial that I am hungry.
If you’re able, downloading some books to your phone makes reading in restaurants much easier than carrying books around all the time.
For me, one of the hard parts of solo travel is actually getting myself out of bed and moving in the morning, but i enjoy my day much more when I do. So I like to plan some morning activities to force myself to move. But also plan for days when I won’t get up and do anything, since that’s one of the joy so of vacation too.
This is the balance I'm struggling with - I want to be planned enough to know I'm going to make good use of my time in each city, but not so over-planned that I don't relax and enjoy my vacation. I'm taking the train, so I guess even if I over-plan I'll have travel days where I have nothing to do but relax!
One thing I like to do is looking up some activities in each place that don't require advance booking, so I have some things in my pocket to do if I feel like I want more activities, but that I could also just skip if I want more down time.
My dad and stepmom are visiting the new city I'm living in (made a VERY big career change and moved which was scary! but good!) and they have promised to help lug things into my new (very shitty) apartment so I do not have to do it myself.
Moving is honestly the only time I wish I wasn't single because this shit is HARD TO DO ALONE.
Moving is so hard alone! I need to take an embarrassing number of breaks, and I do start feeling grumpy about all the young men on the street not offering to help me (it's always women who offer to help!!). They yell so much on the internet about the death of chivalry or whatever, where do they all go when I am clearly struggling with boxes.
I have my first (and second!) appellate oral argument today. I worked a non-traditional law job for a few laws after law school and have been at a firm for less than two months so this is kind of a big step! So I’m excited. I’m taking the train into court in Brooklyn then my wife is picking me up and we’re going to my in-laws for a relaxing weekend!
wow, big merde (as the dancers say). i now have mad respect for lawyers after doing a bunch of volunteering with migrant families and working closely with many different immigration lawyers over the past year.
lol so i’ve been awake all of an hour and a half and have been trying to think of an appropriate place to gloat about all this and am gonna take advantage of this thread for it: i start a big fancy new job on tuesday that i’m being flown out to SF for ~training~ for. my first day happens to be my birthday (28 on the 28th u guys) so i’ve been trying to go really hard in NY in the time leading up to my flight since i’m currently in some beautiful time off between jobs. anyway! wednesday night i messaged this medium cute & nonthreatening dude i’ve hooked up with before to see if he had time to hang before i leave and he took a full 16 hours to tell me “no”. so, whatever. i went out to a gig last night dressed to kill and met a guy at a bar near my apartment who was fully out of my league, we had bonkers sex, and when i kicked him out bc he had to work today and i did not and i did not want him waking me up i got lightly self conscious and was like “wtf you’re so hot why did you just fuck me” he was very kind and was like (in retrospect this sounds like a consolation prize but at the time i was very flattered) “what’re you talking about you’re very sexy and you have a great spirit” because guess what i love being complimented on my personality!!! so that’s what’s making me happy today. that and not the construction across the street from me currently ha ha haaa. ok bye!
Congratulations!! I'm also starting a big fancy new job (though I'm starting on 6/3) and they're flying me out to Seattle! That validating energy is sooooo real.
My dog, who was diagnosed with an aggressive autoimmune disorder (IMHA) and almost didn't make it 3.5 weeks ago, is now in remission and doing SO well. I can't believe we almost lost him less than a month ago and now he's completely back to normal - vets are amazing!
I got accepted into the Tin House Summer Workshop for the novel! I set up a GoFundMe page and people have been so sweet and supportive. I didn't know what to expect but I'm glad I let myself ask for help. I hope you all get good news, too!
I have a full punch card, so I get a free drink at my favorite coffee place today! Plus, I ordered some fancy skincare and it should be coming in the mail today.
Last week in this thread I asked for prayers & good vibes b/c my job search is getting me down, this week I have two final-round interviews lined up. I'm thrilled and feeling more hopeful than I have in months! Continuing to cross my fingers for more/continuing good news (such as, for example, an offer after these interviews).
Also, I've been reading new-to-me additions to Seanan McGuire's wayward children series; the fact that the most recent installment is a beautiful nostalgic romp with all my favorite characters has also brought me great joy.
I love that series. I read that Seanan McGuire is committed through book 8 of the series, so I am hoping Christopher's book is the one after next (next seems to be Jack comes back to the school).
My beloved 16-year old Queen of a cat died a little over a week ago, and this morning was the first that didn't begin in tears (lol sorry). But I AM happy today because I feel closer to being able to just sit with her memory, enjoy pics of her, etc. without totally fucking losing it.
I'm also happy because it's an absolutely gorgeous day, and I managed to roll myself out of bed with enough time to sit on the landing of the stairs leading up to my apartment and drink tea with a book before heading to work. The tree on the property next to our building is in the final stages of flowering, and the wind was picking up its white petals and breezing them around. It's the best time to sit outside because next door is a pizza place, and sitting out there after 11am means I can't concentrate on reading because the smell of the pizza is too intoxicating!!
All the love to you! My sweet 8 year old kitty has been having mystery health problems since January, so I've been trying to mentally prepare myself for the possibility that she won't be around for as long as I'd hoped. This morning she was purring when I was petting her, so it was a good morning.
Thank you <3 And I'm sorry about your kitty. They can be so cagey about their illnesses! I'm so glad she's giving you purrs, give her an extra smooch from me.
Important update: Our CFO just brought his dog to the office and even though this dog has not let me pet him in months, I got to give him scratches and get wagged his stubby little tail for me! Maybe everything isn't flaming garbage!
I'm going to take a walk at lunch, and even if my job is... not ideal, in so many ways, it's a *beautiful* campus. It's all about finding those bright spots. Sending you good get-through-the-day vibes too!
I got a job offer, and I'm SO excited to start! I'm also looking for apartments with my bf, and I think we may be getting close (??) It has been a long process but I'm also v. excited to move in together.
I found an estate sale yesterday and bought a $10 comforter that matches my bedroom PERFECTLY, and when I unrolled it at home, a hidden beanie baby fell out, so bonus!
I freakin love estate sales, because I also grabbed a cake mold and a madeleine mold, so I'll be baking this weekend for sure.
(But that said, having trouble reconciling my ridiculous, over the top crush on Hot Priest with his... questionable... pastoral care. But my goodness, is he the best-written / acted fictional romantic interest I’ve encountered in a bit.)
I am SO GLAD I'm not the only one who was a bit :/ about his pastoral care. Like, yes, the confessional scene was hot AF and the chemistry between him and Fleabag was off the charts... but also like, dude. DUDE.
I am on a 5-day vacation in Philly with my boyfriend, currently not at work where chaos reigns and every day I feel like Sysiphus. Lying in a comfy bed and having the time to finally contribute to an open thread before hitting up museums is what brings me joy today.
I've finally decided I definitely want to do a PhD! It's taken a few months of admin work, but I really miss research. I don't know what I want to write about yet, but just making that decision finally has me in a great mood.
I got the job I’ve spent fifteen years dreaming about! And I went to my school’s lavender graduation earlier this week and heck, I’m so proud of all my baby queers surviving and thriving and going out into the world.
I'm doing theater again for the first time in 5 years (since I graduated college) and it has been so wonderful. I didn't realize how much I missed using that creative part of my brain. It's also been surprisingly excellent to just be helping out and have absolutely no responsibilities or make any decisions. I'm hoping this leads to more opportunities in the future!
It's my son's last day of kindergarten and we're going on a train ride later to celebrate. Also I found Guitar Hero at Goodwill, so everything's looking up!
I graduated with my masters in marriage and family therapy in December, and as a gift, my amazing girlfriends got me a spa gift certificate. After working since January as an elementary school therapist, school let out on Thursday and I am going FULL SPA LADY on Saturday. They are going to have to kick me out of that place lol
As an aside, I had a makeup trial for my wedding and had my makeup professionally done for the first time and felt like a million bucks. (I never wear makeup I really wanna get into it but it is really intimidating)
Giving a presentation about LGBT+ community-building and storytelling for a group of budding Ukrainian activists tomorrow, then turning around and running in my first ever 5k on Sunday :)
My coworker gave me a kombucha starter for my birthday as a joke (because we’re chemists who have to do a lot of biochemistry despite being bad at it) but I love kombucha so I’m going to use it to start making my own this summer!
My mom's very cool cousin is visiting from Puerto Rico and we're meeting up for food on Monday! She was nominated for a James Beard award this year and asked me to pick the restaurant and it's a lot of pressure!!
Boston! She's staying near Back Bay and we're on the orange line. I was thinking ... Toro at lunch or brunch? I have a 4 year old and an 18m old so we don't really go out these days and I don't know what the new hip places are. She runs a Thai restaurant so I was thinking about taking her to Blue Dragon, but it looks like it's closed Memorial Day.
I’m getting married to the love of my life tomorrow!!
Oh, beautiful! Wishing you both all good things!
Congratulations! I hope your day is wonderful.
I
That is wonderful! I wish you so much happiness!!!
Congratulations!! I hope you have a fantastic, joyous day tomorrow!
Yehaw, have fun!!
That's wonderful!! I hope you have the happiest day! It will be wonderful even if things don't go as planned.
congratulations! I'm finishing wedding planning now and hope you have a fabulous time and all the hard work paid off!
Congrats!!! I hope you have the very best day!!!
I finally got the job! I was laid off in January and for the last few months I have been a walking ball of anxiety. But yesterday I signed the papers on a new gig for more money, better benefits, at a better agency.
A great way to go into Memorial Day weekend. Now I can enjoy time with friends without worrying about money. I start Tuesday.
Awesome!
Congrats!!
that is amazing! such a relief and such promise! congrats x1000.
Congrats! What a wonderful turn of events for you. I know too well that anxiety and wouldn't wish it on anyone. So glad that things are turning around for you!
Congratulations, and good luck with the new job!
We rescued an abandoned feral kitten from our yard a few weeks ago and she was doing great...until she developed a 107 degree fever of unknown cause. The only thing we could do was keep her cool and comfortable.
This little one was on death’s door Monday and then by Tuesday afternoon she had a normal temperature. We think she’s going to make it! Right now she’s playing in a shoe!
Sending good vibes to her!
Sending all good thoughts your way.
I just found out that I've got PhD funding (yay!) but now have to move to Dublin in three months (aaaah!) Anyone have any advice on things to do in Dublin, starting a PhD, really anything??
Congrats! Also current PhD student, my advice is the most important part of the summer before is getting yourself settled and comfortable: finding housing, setting up your room, locating grocery stores, coffee places, takeout places, nice parks, and maybe even finding places you can keep doing your sports/hobbies so you feel like you have a life in the area beside the university. Also, talk to fellow students and older students about what they're up to and what to expect. Good luck!
Thank you! I've got just under a month between finishing my MA and starting my PhD, but am moving as soon as possible after and am also planning to visit as much as possible in between now and then, and hopefully meet current students as I go!
No advice on housing, and grain of salt because I haven't been there since 2006, but Dublin has a number of weird little free/cheap museums. Lots of shabby taxidermy to be had if you're into that sort of thing. And if you like whiskey, hit up the Jameson distillery tour.
The Dead Zoo! The Dead Zoo is the best. Not only is it a museum, but it's also a museum of what a museum used to be like 100 years ago. The taxidermied lemurs make me CACKLE. (It's actually called like the natural history museum of Dublin or something, but it's really the dead zoo.)
This sounds amazing - I am going for a visit in June and will make sure to try and find some shabby taxidermy!
Congrats! Current PhD student here (3rd year): it's a marathon not a sprint, pace yourself and find a rhythm that works for you and doesn't hurt your productivity. The relationship with your advisor takes work and might be intimidating at first but it's super important. Don't track your progress by comparing it to others in your cohort. We are all doing our own niche and hyper-specialized stuff and not all work is the same. Good luck!
Thank you! I'm doing my MA dissertation over the summer, which will hopefully help me get to know how I work on larger projects (even one ten times shorter than a PhD thesis...) Good luck with your PhD!
Congratulations!
I'm sure Dublin has changed a lot since I lived there, but I recommend checking out Ranelagh as a neighborhood (imho, south of the Liffey is better, unless your program is on the north side, and anything outside of the canal should hopefully be a little cheaper, but still on the Luas for easy commuting.)
Ireland is small! So over time, definitely make some trips out to the other coasts to explore (cliffs of Moher, the ring of Kerry, giants causeway, connemara/the burren, Belfast. (Keep an eye on the brexit situation, obvs.) I love love love Killarney National Park). One of my favorite hidden gems in Dublin is St. Michan's. If you go on their church tour, they'll take you into the basement, where there are mummies (including one from the crusades!) (The national museum also used to have bog mummies.) I have weirdly been thinking about George's arcade recently, which is an indoor market. Really, Dublin is easy to get around. And don't discount taking a cheesy tourist bus tour your first week to start to get a feel for the lay of the land. Other recs: I like Glasnevin cemetery (lots of famous figures buries there). Newgrange is an easy morning trip (it's much older than the pyramids!) Find a nice pub and have a full brekkie and/or a hot whiskey for me!
that's so exciting, and congrats! dunno anything about dublin but with respect to starting a phd: start building a social net as soon as you get there. ideally, try to include people who are in your program, people who are in other programs, and people totally unaffiliated with post-grad education. or, yknow, whatever works for you personally with maintaining mental health. i've found that phd work and programs can vary a lot but pretty much any of them are surmountable as long as you have somewhere else to turn to when work-life gets rough. also, others have gotten at this in their replies but don't let yourself get caught in the funnel of your Topic and Just Your Topic; exploration is a great tool against stagnation.
Congratulations! In retrospect, one of the best things about being in a PhD program was the chance to learn about and explore different areas. Even if you're under pressure to hit some job-market productivity quotas, try to find time to play intellectually.
Thank you! Fingers crossed I shall get a fair bit of intellectual play time - my supervisor seems keen for that so heres hoping
i studied at trinity as a visiting student and adored my time there. now i get back now & again because one of my clients is based there. such a lovely city and so many great day/weekend trips! enjoy!
Thank you!!
oooh congrats! I moved out of Dublin last year, but yeah accomodation is super rough and some living costs can be :/, but there's a lot of support out there for students so don't be afraid to look for help! Starting a PhD can be intimidating but definitely talk to current students and staff other than your supervisor, especially if there are postdocs in your department they can be a huge source of help. My biggest suggestion would be to make time to get out of the city and explore the rest of Ireland when you can!
Thank you! I am hoping to do a lot of Ireland exploring; I've got to go see some people in Cork and Maynooth and am hoping to do some road tripping and sightseeing when I do!
Start looking straight away for accommodation. There is a shortage in Dublin
Thank you! I'm on it already and probably have a student specific place to live from September to July, giving me almost a year to find somewhere more permanent; the Dublin accommodation market is very intimidating.
No advice, but congratulations!!
Thank you!! Congrats on your workshop acceptance!!!
Thank you, Annie!
It’s my birthday!
Happy, happy birthday!! :)
Happy birthday!
Happy birthday!
happy birthday!!
Happy birthday!! Doing anything fun to celebrate this weekend?
I’m having a memorial day party where basically no one knows it’s my birthday party, just as I always do :)... I love being around the people I love, but I hate being the center of attention :)
Happy Birthday!
happy birthday!
Happy birthday!
happy birthday!!
I graduated last week and now I get to indulge in reading ALL OF THE BOOKS. at ANY time of day.
Reading without guilt is the best!!
ahh that is the best feeling!
I just found out that I'm gong to be able to quit my crappy job and go to library school full time! I still have three more months here and the waiting feels unbearable! The emotions have been absolutely overwhelming - joy, anxiety, grief - but I just have to shout it to the world wherever possible because I feel like I'm bursting at the seams!
Congratulations!!! Just wrapping up my first year of library school and it’s so great. You’ll have such a great time learning all the things!!
It’s all happening! I am so excited for you ♥️♥️
We’re finally on the other side of the four month sleep regression, knock on a forest of wood.
Good luck!!! My sweet baby is 16 weeks tomorrow and we are waiting for the proverbial shoe to drop
oof, the struggle is real. good luck! know that whatever you're doing, is almost assuredly the right thing. :)
I’m a book editor and my third ever deal was announced today! Look out for Julie DiCaro’s book about misogyny in the sports world in 2021 😊😊😊
that sounds amazing! congratulations!
This is so exciting! Congratulations! I can't wait for this to be out and to read it!
Ooh, I'm excited to keep tabs on this!
I get to go to the NYPL to review a bunch of very old primary sources for an exciting archival piece that I'm working on!
I am ONE MONTH away from embarking on a month-long solo vacation across the US and I'm super excited (and also a little bit terrified, so if you have any great tips for traveling alone, I'd love to hear them)!
My biggest tip is to give yourself dedicated down time. Like, a day (or a few hours a week) when you allow yourself to just be lazy. Order room service, lay in bed all day, have naked time in your hotel room. Whatever. It helps you feel recharged, and when I do that before I'm actually exhausted, I feel less spent.
Also, I've found that staying off social media one day a week really helps me feel better. It's like I can drop the pretenses, not worry about taking care of others or sharing anything, and not get stressed out by the ridiculousness online.
Enjoy yourself. You're doing a glorious thing, and while it won't be sunshine and roses the entire time, it's still going to be wonderful!
Thank you! I'm staying in a fancy-ish hotel in SF because everything else was booked for a tech conference - I think I will take your advice and have a very indulgent room-service-and-lounging-day there!
I don’t know how familiar you are with SF-but that sounds like an excellent plan as weirdly a lot of the fancy hotels are in a not so nice area and when big tech conferences are in town (especially the big sales force one) the city gets more overcrowded than usual.
Ooh good to know! I've never been before (never been to the west coast at all before, actually) so I really have no idea what to expect!
Oh, that sounds lovely. I'd budget for indulgence (time and money-wise) so you don't feel any guilt about it. I tend to think I could've spent the time and money in better ways, but sometimes pampering IS the better way, you know?
Yay for you!
For me (a not great at traveling alone person) the biggest struggle I have is getting decision fatigue. You have to make so many more choices when traveling and sometimes I just wanted someone else to make the choice. If I were to travel alone again, I would make sure to give myself some time off from trying to see/do everything and also book some things in advance of travel so I would have that choice taken away from me when I got there!
Your trip sounds excellent! Have a great time!
Thank you! I think I will use these last few weeks to block an activity or two in each city where I have nothing, and maybe scale back plans in some places where there is just so much to see that I'm probably overdoing it.
Oh and also-snacks! This is a personal problem so it my not apply but I get really grumpy when I’m hungry so having a snack in my purse to eat quickly keeps me going. My best travel buddy carries Trader Joe’s single serving trail mix packs to force on me when I am in denial that I am hungry.
If you’re able, downloading some books to your phone makes reading in restaurants much easier than carrying books around all the time.
For me, one of the hard parts of solo travel is actually getting myself out of bed and moving in the morning, but i enjoy my day much more when I do. So I like to plan some morning activities to force myself to move. But also plan for days when I won’t get up and do anything, since that’s one of the joy so of vacation too.
This is the balance I'm struggling with - I want to be planned enough to know I'm going to make good use of my time in each city, but not so over-planned that I don't relax and enjoy my vacation. I'm taking the train, so I guess even if I over-plan I'll have travel days where I have nothing to do but relax!
One thing I like to do is looking up some activities in each place that don't require advance booking, so I have some things in my pocket to do if I feel like I want more activities, but that I could also just skip if I want more down time.
This is a great tip, thank you!
Very
I gave drafts of my very first novel to my husband and daughter to read! So excited for feedback. And I wrote a novel!
Yes!!! Congrats!
My dad and stepmom are visiting the new city I'm living in (made a VERY big career change and moved which was scary! but good!) and they have promised to help lug things into my new (very shitty) apartment so I do not have to do it myself.
Moving is honestly the only time I wish I wasn't single because this shit is HARD TO DO ALONE.
Moving is so hard alone! I need to take an embarrassing number of breaks, and I do start feeling grumpy about all the young men on the street not offering to help me (it's always women who offer to help!!). They yell so much on the internet about the death of chivalry or whatever, where do they all go when I am clearly struggling with boxes.
It is HARD but you've got this 💪🙌
I have my first (and second!) appellate oral argument today. I worked a non-traditional law job for a few laws after law school and have been at a firm for less than two months so this is kind of a big step! So I’m excited. I’m taking the train into court in Brooklyn then my wife is picking me up and we’re going to my in-laws for a relaxing weekend!
wow, big merde (as the dancers say). i now have mad respect for lawyers after doing a bunch of volunteering with migrant families and working closely with many different immigration lawyers over the past year.
lol so i’ve been awake all of an hour and a half and have been trying to think of an appropriate place to gloat about all this and am gonna take advantage of this thread for it: i start a big fancy new job on tuesday that i’m being flown out to SF for ~training~ for. my first day happens to be my birthday (28 on the 28th u guys) so i’ve been trying to go really hard in NY in the time leading up to my flight since i’m currently in some beautiful time off between jobs. anyway! wednesday night i messaged this medium cute & nonthreatening dude i’ve hooked up with before to see if he had time to hang before i leave and he took a full 16 hours to tell me “no”. so, whatever. i went out to a gig last night dressed to kill and met a guy at a bar near my apartment who was fully out of my league, we had bonkers sex, and when i kicked him out bc he had to work today and i did not and i did not want him waking me up i got lightly self conscious and was like “wtf you’re so hot why did you just fuck me” he was very kind and was like (in retrospect this sounds like a consolation prize but at the time i was very flattered) “what’re you talking about you’re very sexy and you have a great spirit” because guess what i love being complimented on my personality!!! so that’s what’s making me happy today. that and not the construction across the street from me currently ha ha haaa. ok bye!
Congratulations!! I'm also starting a big fancy new job (though I'm starting on 6/3) and they're flying me out to Seattle! That validating energy is sooooo real.
it’s amazing!!! congratulations to you as well that’s so exciting!!
god damn that's a good day! way to go on all of it!
thanks, other annie!
My dog, who was diagnosed with an aggressive autoimmune disorder (IMHA) and almost didn't make it 3.5 weeks ago, is now in remission and doing SO well. I can't believe we almost lost him less than a month ago and now he's completely back to normal - vets are amazing!
that's so good I'm so happy to hear that
I got accepted into the Tin House Summer Workshop for the novel! I set up a GoFundMe page and people have been so sweet and supportive. I didn't know what to expect but I'm glad I let myself ask for help. I hope you all get good news, too!
Congratulations!
I’m getting a rescue puppy on June 1st!
It's my 25th birthday and I'm celebrating by seeing Hadestown tonight :)))))
Ahhhh it's extraordinary! Bring tissues !!
Happy birthday, I love Hadestown SO MUCH (I celebrated my birthday in a similar fashion back in November!)
Happy birthday! My friend desperately wants to see that, so please report back with your review!
it's unbelievable how INCREDIBLE Hadestown is. everyone with the means to see it should
I will try to get tickets for me and my friend. Thank you for coming back with your review. I'm so glad you loved it!
Happy birthday!
I have a full punch card, so I get a free drink at my favorite coffee place today! Plus, I ordered some fancy skincare and it should be coming in the mail today.
I just finished school yesterday, completing my Associates in Anthropology. I'm officially on the path to becoming an archaeologist!
My lovely wife just walked a pink sprinkled donut over to me at the office on her way out (we live right by my work)
Last week in this thread I asked for prayers & good vibes b/c my job search is getting me down, this week I have two final-round interviews lined up. I'm thrilled and feeling more hopeful than I have in months! Continuing to cross my fingers for more/continuing good news (such as, for example, an offer after these interviews).
Also, I've been reading new-to-me additions to Seanan McGuire's wayward children series; the fact that the most recent installment is a beautiful nostalgic romp with all my favorite characters has also brought me great joy.
also if anyone else has read these books and just wants to idk talk about christopher at length for a few minutes PLEASE let me know.
I love that series. I read that Seanan McGuire is committed through book 8 of the series, so I am hoping Christopher's book is the one after next (next seems to be Jack comes back to the school).
I actually slept through the night!
My beloved 16-year old Queen of a cat died a little over a week ago, and this morning was the first that didn't begin in tears (lol sorry). But I AM happy today because I feel closer to being able to just sit with her memory, enjoy pics of her, etc. without totally fucking losing it.
I'm also happy because it's an absolutely gorgeous day, and I managed to roll myself out of bed with enough time to sit on the landing of the stairs leading up to my apartment and drink tea with a book before heading to work. The tree on the property next to our building is in the final stages of flowering, and the wind was picking up its white petals and breezing them around. It's the best time to sit outside because next door is a pizza place, and sitting out there after 11am means I can't concentrate on reading because the smell of the pizza is too intoxicating!!
All the love to you! My sweet 8 year old kitty has been having mystery health problems since January, so I've been trying to mentally prepare myself for the possibility that she won't be around for as long as I'd hoped. This morning she was purring when I was petting her, so it was a good morning.
Thank you <3 And I'm sorry about your kitty. They can be so cagey about their illnesses! I'm so glad she's giving you purrs, give her an extra smooch from me.
I don't have to go to work on Monday. I just sat down at my desk and this thought is what's going to have to get me through.
Important update: Our CFO just brought his dog to the office and even though this dog has not let me pet him in months, I got to give him scratches and get wagged his stubby little tail for me! Maybe everything isn't flaming garbage!
I am right there with you. Luckily the office coffee is good today and I'm going to lunch with a friend. We can do this!
I'm going to take a walk at lunch, and even if my job is... not ideal, in so many ways, it's a *beautiful* campus. It's all about finding those bright spots. Sending you good get-through-the-day vibes too!
This is THE BEST feeling
finally started brain meds this week! and looking forward to a weekend seeing my favorite people, yay.
I got a job offer, and I'm SO excited to start! I'm also looking for apartments with my bf, and I think we may be getting close (??) It has been a long process but I'm also v. excited to move in together.
I helped facilitate my friend meeting up with her two recently discovered sisters AND I’m seeing Oklahoma on Broadway tonight!
Ohhhh-klahoma where the winds coming sweeping down the plains. (sorry... I can't NOT do that.)
I am also seeing Oklahoma tonight!
Ohhhh- klahoma where the winds... sorry
Taiwan officially legalized gay marriage last week and started registering couples today, and the photos coming out are SO CUTE and SO GOOD 😭
I found an estate sale yesterday and bought a $10 comforter that matches my bedroom PERFECTLY, and when I unrolled it at home, a hidden beanie baby fell out, so bonus!
I freakin love estate sales, because I also grabbed a cake mold and a madeleine mold, so I'll be baking this weekend for sure.
FLEABAG SEASON 2.
(But that said, having trouble reconciling my ridiculous, over the top crush on Hot Priest with his... questionable... pastoral care. But my goodness, is he the best-written / acted fictional romantic interest I’ve encountered in a bit.)
He is a perfect character and an absolute shit priest
I am SO GLAD I'm not the only one who was a bit :/ about his pastoral care. Like, yes, the confessional scene was hot AF and the chemistry between him and Fleabag was off the charts... but also like, dude. DUDE.
Yeah, I kind of had to shut down my frontal cortex during that scene because SO HOT. But also, my guy, NOT OK.
After watching Rev I have.. tempered expectations for TV Anglican priests.
I enjoy adding him to my hot pope and hot grantchester file
Oh no, now I am definitely going to have to watch Grantchester again.
He’s also “broody, possibly dangerous man” in happy valley. 👍
I'm at a fantasy writing and mythology conference just about to listen to a woman talk about Lumberjanes and Ms Marvel! :)
I am on a 5-day vacation in Philly with my boyfriend, currently not at work where chaos reigns and every day I feel like Sysiphus. Lying in a comfy bed and having the time to finally contribute to an open thread before hitting up museums is what brings me joy today.
I second Spruce Street Harbor Park! I also really love recommending the Philly Magic Gardens if you've never been.
some nice weather inspired recommendations:
1) Spruce Street Harbor Park - views of the river, food trucks (Franklin Fountain!!!), hammocks
2) Talula's Garden - American restaurant, if you can get an outdoor table, it's very green and relaxing and yummy
I've finally decided I definitely want to do a PhD! It's taken a few months of admin work, but I really miss research. I don't know what I want to write about yet, but just making that decision finally has me in a great mood.
I got the job I’ve spent fifteen years dreaming about! And I went to my school’s lavender graduation earlier this week and heck, I’m so proud of all my baby queers surviving and thriving and going out into the world.
I'm doing theater again for the first time in 5 years (since I graduated college) and it has been so wonderful. I didn't realize how much I missed using that creative part of my brain. It's also been surprisingly excellent to just be helping out and have absolutely no responsibilities or make any decisions. I'm hoping this leads to more opportunities in the future!
It's my son's last day of kindergarten and we're going on a train ride later to celebrate. Also I found Guitar Hero at Goodwill, so everything's looking up!
I graduated with my masters in marriage and family therapy in December, and as a gift, my amazing girlfriends got me a spa gift certificate. After working since January as an elementary school therapist, school let out on Thursday and I am going FULL SPA LADY on Saturday. They are going to have to kick me out of that place lol
That sounds glorious! Enjoy!
As an aside, I had a makeup trial for my wedding and had my makeup professionally done for the first time and felt like a million bucks. (I never wear makeup I really wanna get into it but it is really intimidating)
Giving a presentation about LGBT+ community-building and storytelling for a group of budding Ukrainian activists tomorrow, then turning around and running in my first ever 5k on Sunday :)
good luck! what amazing work. (on both fronts :))
My coworker gave me a kombucha starter for my birthday as a joke (because we’re chemists who have to do a lot of biochemistry despite being bad at it) but I love kombucha so I’m going to use it to start making my own this summer!
Also last week I asked for book recommends in this thread and I bought the books and they were GREAT
I leave for Venice tomorrow for five solo days of peace, art, food and boats. BOATS!
My mom's very cool cousin is visiting from Puerto Rico and we're meeting up for food on Monday! She was nominated for a James Beard award this year and asked me to pick the restaurant and it's a lot of pressure!!
omg! what city? can we help with reccs?
Boston! She's staying near Back Bay and we're on the orange line. I was thinking ... Toro at lunch or brunch? I have a 4 year old and an 18m old so we don't really go out these days and I don't know what the new hip places are. She runs a Thai restaurant so I was thinking about taking her to Blue Dragon, but it looks like it's closed Memorial Day.
My new girlfriend and I are planting a garden tomorrow and I am excited!!
the thought of margaritas with my bookclub later is what's keeping me going thru work today
It's my birthday! my plans include exploring a new coffee shop, going to a yarn shop, and maybe buying a book. :)
Wishing you the happiest of birthdays. :)
Happy Birthday! What kind of books do you like to read?
My folks are visiting! It's my mom's birthday tomorrow and she's requested the Brie French Toast with Raspberries I used to make her when I was a kid.
I feel like I need this recipe. lol Happy Bday to your Ma!
Tweeted an (old, shoddy) photo just for you! https://twitter.com/kellygancas/status/1132833403013873665
My mother typed that from my dictation to her over the phone.
My sister got married today!!