Friday! A Normal Post, Not An Open Thread

hi darlings!

I have had an…exciting…two weeks, which I hope are now drawing to a close. Your love and support has meant everything to me, and I cherish every text/tweet/email/DM I’ve gotten. Thank you. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, hang onto your innocence and you’ll be happier for it, I promise. Now, onto our Featured Pet of the Day. Please meet Grendel:

Grendel’s human companion, Haylie, reports: “My husband, Ross, is a civil engineer. In his current job, he travels all over Texas inspecting bridges. He does not love this. But last December, while inspecting a bridge in truly-the-middle-of-nowhere North Texas, Ross suddenly heard a tiny little *mewp* He looks up, and this kitten is barreling towards him. I'm pretty sure this was the happiest moment of Ross' life. The kitten was really friendly and desperately hungry, and Ross and his coworker brought him in the truck to all of the bridges they inspected that day.”

“So Ross is telling me this, and I'm waiting to hear that we're keeping the cat! We've been talking about adopting another kitten for months. But Ross isn't coming home for almost a week, and he can't take the kitten. He and his coworker dropped him off at a shelter 300 miles from our house in Austin. Reader, did I drive eleven hours round-trip the next day to secretly adopt the kitten? Did I keep that secret for an entire week even though I'm historically very very bad at that? I most certainly did.”

“We named him Grendel, after the lonely monster from Beowulf. He is a very good boy and has not yet ripped anyone's arm off. He and our other cat, Creature, are getting along remarkably well.”

Thank you so so much, Haylie! Grendel and Creature are beautiful cats and we love them.

Absolute unit, normal mug:

you are nineteen, he is ghosting you anyway, text him “this is over” and block his number:

so this started because a girl invited me out to get our nails done, as we’re almost finished she springs up on me that she has no money to pay for it. i didn’t know this before but apparently this is something she tries to do all the time, she even tried it on my bf once. long story short, she used me to get her nails done. two weeks go by and i text her and i say, “you can apple pay me $40 for the nails” and she immediately refuses to bc “i hadn’t talked to her in two weeks” which makes no sense.. she still hasn’t paid me back. but moving on she facetimed my boyfriend when i texted her for my money back and my bf immediately texts me and goes “you didn’t have to approach her like that??? you could’ve been nicer.”

but.. all i did was ask for my money back. he’s upset with me and he’s ignored me since. he’s upset bc “i shouldn’t treat his friends like that” it’s going on five days now. he refuses to answer my texts, my calls, any form of me trying to communicate he ignores. at this point it’s made me feel like complete shit and i just don’t understand what i did to deserve this. i don’t know what to do

ONE MORE absolute unit bc so sweet:


Have you ever worked somewhere rumored to be haunted? Felt a spectral tap on the shoulder as you worked late on expense reports? Heard the clank of chains over the intercom or seen the spirits of managers past in the bathroom mirror?

It’s Halloween, so let’s hear all your stories about spooky experiences at work. Share in the comment section!

To start us off, here are some of my favorites from the Halloween episode of the AAM podcast last year.

♦  “I work in a nursing home with many folks who have dementia. They live in other realities, and I’m used to residents saying weird things. However, there seems to be a trend in one area of the building where residents typically refer to ‘the little boy’ who always seems to be standing somewhere near. It’s very common for a resident to be talking to the little boy (or look like they’re talking to thin air), and it’s also common for them to ask us questions about the boy, like ‘is this your child?’ or ‘is the little boy going to come to the activity too?’, etc. It’s only in that one area of the building, but it’s with almost all of the residents who have dementia. Only one of them has a history of having visual hallucinations. It does creep me out a little bit.”

♦  “I worked at a place where when we renovated our office, they decided to replace all the walls with glass, to show we were a ‘transparent organization’ (as you can probably guess, leadership there kind of sucked). While the higher ups had frosted glass offices, most of the staff had glass, fishbowl offices with no doors. As you can imagine, we all hated when we lost our walls, particularly one guy who routinely complained about it. Well, a few months later this guy is fired (for unrelated reasons) in the worst way possible, where they did it mid-morning, and everyone saw it happen (hard to hide things in a glass office). So he had to pack up all his stuff and was escorted from the building. The next day, the glass walls of the fired guy’s office shattered. No one was near that office, no one saw anything suspicious, and we worked in a secure office so people couldn’t come in without us knowing. We never found out what happened, but I like to think that fired guy got his revenge.”

♦   “I used to work as a dispatcher for a charity clothing and toy warehouse. It was my job to close the warehouse after everyone had gone home and then finish the compliance. I cannot count the number of times that I’d be walking among the carts and all of a sudden, always simultaneously and always spontaneously, a bunch of toys in a bunch of carts would start quacking or playing creepy music or talking. Once a doll actually sat up and looked at me from the top of a garbage bag and laughed the creepiest laugh ever. I felt like I was in the first scene of a Dr. Who episode and they wouldn’t even realize I was gone. Or maybe a murder doll movie.”

♦   “I work in a museum. There has always been a joke that the man the museum was named after haunted the place. Things would go missing and items in the souvenir shop would be moved. When housekeeping did a deep clean at night, they always said strange stuff would happen. Sounds, voices, etc. When the museum was renovated, we added a big-screen theater. There is a control booth with a small storage area at the top of the theater steps. There is also a tiny balcony behind the control booth where we have screens that face the main hall and that we use to advertise upcoming events, memberships, etc. Many of the security staff swear they have seen and/or experienced ghostly happenings in the control booth/storage area/balcony. One really large, muscled ex-military guy had such a frightening experience that he refused to go in the theater. He was on rounds, checked the theater, and heard sounds in the control booth. He knew the AV guy was off that day so he went up. He saw no one in the booth or the storage area, so he was checking the balcony area. He said someone shoved him and he almost fell off the balcony. There was no one in the theater besides him, but they checked the tape anyway. You could clearly see on the tap the moment he was pushed forward, but you couldn’t see what pushed him. I stay away from the theater. If the biggest security guard in the place was almost pushed off the balcony by invisible forces, I’m not chancing it.”

♦   “I used to work in an office in a manufacturing facility. There were two rows of cubicles back to back, with high walls so we couldn’t see to the other side. A coworker and I were working in one row trying to finish a project after hours, it was about 7:00 during the winter, so it was pretty dark, when we heard loud laughter. We brushed it off, thinking it was one of our coworkers, so we yelled their name. Complete silence. We quiet down and we hear a keyboard clicking, so I go check on my coworker, thinking they maybe have headphones on and can’t hear. There was no one there. Needless to say, we literally ran out of the office. The worst part is, we weren’t the only ones who heard weird laughter after hours in that office. Nobody stayed past 6:00 alone, and we often hurried up to leave in groups when we had to work late because of how freaked out we were.”

HE NEEDS TO GO IMMEDIATELY, you do not want to spend a year removing him from the shed:

I'll try to keep the backstory brief, but it's kinda convoluted. I paid this guy to mow my lawn a few times, and I guess he just kinda decided we were besties. I don't dislike him, but I'm just an introvert who likes being by myself most of the time, so usually I would brush him off when he wanted to hang out.

At one point, we randomly crossed paths while I was walking the dog, and somehow casual conversation turned to the subject of my house (which I own) having a room available, which someone could potentially stay in if they paid rent. Long story short, that didn't end up happening, and I didn't see him again for a while. He recently resurfaced, and we saw each other now and then until he told me that he was going to North Carolina. I thought that was the end of it, but of course he came back.

That brings us to six days ago, when I saw him through my window carrying an office chair, so I went out there and asked him what he was doing. His answer, as I perceived it at the time, was that he just wanted a little personal spot to kinda kick back and have some alone time away from his job or whatever (he works within walking distance of my house). So I agreed to that; partially because I'm not really good at saying no, but also partially because I don't ever use my backyard or shed, so I figured if someone else got some use out of it, why the hell not? (I did make it clear that he was not permitted to smoke weed or do anything else illegal.)

Big mistake, because one of the annoying things about this guy is, if you give him an inch, he'll take a mile. If he asks to use your bathroom, he'll come in and take a shower. And apparently, if he asks to leave a chair on your back porch, he'll take up permanent residence in your shed.

At this point, it's kind of annoying, but I do still feel bad for the guy. I still don't actually use the shed for anything (yet), and he really doesn't seem like a bad guy, he just doesn't have a great sense of boundaries. Like, he never would've even asked permission to leave the chair there if I hadn't seen him walking by and flagged him down. But he doesn't seem to understand why someone else would have a problem with that. And I'm on the autism spectrum, so I already have enough problems with not being on the same wavelength as other people. But he's not really a dick, he just operates in a different way than I do.

Anyway, the point is that I don't really want to kick him out, as long as I can clearly (and legally) define a framework that will make it harder for him to claim "squatter's rights" or whatever if I get fed up later and want him to leave then. I mentioned that to him and he seemed willing to sign something (as an alternative to me just kicking him out right now), but being as I'm not a lawyer, I don't know all the proper ways to phrase things so that it will be easier to maintain all my rights as the property owner, if he ever becomes less cooperative later.

your boyfriend is making an unreasonable request!!

So, I am 34F with 2M and 7F. I have been in a relationship with 38M and his 1 1/2M, 3M, 5M, and 6F for a little over 7 months. Our kids all know each other. The 7 and 6 year old girls are best friends (we met through them) and have been calling themselves sisters since before we even got together. It's all harmonious. Good bio parents on both sides. We feel like a family already. We are not moved together and the kids are not aware we're together past they have many playdates.

My mom passed away 12 years ago, but my dad is very active in my children's lives. He has a tradition that he takes them anywhere to the two's choosing for Christmas. Last year, they went to Disneyland and said they wanted to go to Disney for Christmas again this year. My dad is all for it.

He called me yesterday to let me know that he still planned on taking the two to Disney and was thrilled to see them soon.

My partner thinks we should ask him to take all the kids to make things fair. We are a family and grandparents can't just choose who their favourite grandkids are. The others will get jealous since his parents don't do anything but send gifts.

I'm hesitant to ask. I agree that we should make all the kids feel included and on the same level as one another, but... I feel guilty asking because I truly think that it would mean the end of the trips. My dad isn't a rich man- he makes 45k a year, he saves up all year to do these special trips. And since we live in the Midwest (he lives 15 minutes away), it's very costly to fly so many kids out, much less just taking care of them. They go for 4 or 5 days, depending. 6 kids for a 60 year old man is so many.

What do y'all think? WIBTA if I asked for this to be an exception until the kids are aware we're dating? My dad knows that we're dating, but doesn't call my partner's children his since we've not fully merged. He will love them all the same once we're married/merged together.

I love you so much right now. This is like, peak love of you. You are so good and kind and you try so hard and also it’s getting dark and if you are feeling miserable, I am so sorry. You are always in my heart, beloveds.