The double Jeremy Brett was a mistake but let’s pretend it was a joke. Also I had linked to the Elephant Love Song Medley which was SO ROMANTIC in high school and honestly still is.
I saw Moulin Rouge on Broadway and it was SO GOOD. I hope it comes back after all of this so I can make my mom go see it (she introduced me to the movie, though I was probably in high school before she stopped fast-forwarding through the Red Room seduction scene with me).
I am feeling so very sad about Adam Schlesinger, whose name I didn't even know, really (in spite of seeing him with Rachel Bloom in concert once), but whose writing has wormed into my deepest subconscious. And also, Rachel Bloom *just* had a baby, and the thought of dealing with all those feelings at once--I'm just a fan, it IS very weird to be a fan, but she's first in my heart today.
I am also sad about Adam Schlesinger, I loved Radiation Vibe and Sink to the Bottom back in the 90s and he was an insanely talented and prolific songwriter. That one hurts.
I have been a backyard birder for a while but I am growing increasingly attached to all of my birbs, even the sparrows who loudly fuck in my bougainvillea every morning. They’re doing their best.
Once I was at the doctors office loitering in the blood draw area waiting for my turn and a man with an amazing voice started singing “on the street where you live”. I’m assuming it controlled his breathing and kept him calm and focused for the blood draw. It was magical and surreal and like a 30 second musical treat.
I feel like such a bad daughter right now. My mom is very needy right now and I’m just not giving it to her. Probably a daily text would be great, maybe I should do that to reassure her. She’s texting and calling and she’s a lovely person, but she’s also a bit of an emotional black hole. She is one of those people that is kind and sweet but constantly demands you tell her how much you like her and that she hasn’t done anything wrong or ever made anyone feel bad ever and requires so much validation it’s exhausting. She’s the kind of person that we all have agreements about. Like when my cousin visited and my mom forgot to put sheets on the bed and my cousin mentioned it and I went and found them for her and we agreed to never tell my mom. Or my sister in law and I have agreed to never tell her that she spells my SILs name wrong. 30 years from now my mom would still be apologizing for that. Once I Politely asked my mom to stop humming as she had been humming the same snippet for half an hour and she started crying. In January she was injured and I spent 6 weeks doing everything for her. (Then my dog had surgery, I got the flu, then a flat tire. 2020 is cursed). I just can’t, but I know I should. She’s freaked out and needs reassurance. She texts me and I don’t respond for 6 hours. Bad daughter. Thanks for letting me vent.
Oh my gosh, you're not a bad daughter, but I feel you so much. I haven't told my mother I have Covid-19 because she would panic and text me a million times a day and demand constant reassurance and I just can't deal with that. I can't. I can barely deal with my own panic. She texted three days ago to ask what I'm working on at my job and I just... haven't responded, because I'm home sick and not working on anything and I don't have the energy to come up with a lie.
These are just horrible, overwhelming times. We do what we have to do. Thinking of you.
Oh, I feel you... it's not exactly the same (my mother, for one, is the type to never apologize when she's screwed up) but my mum has been texting me asking me to contact my consulate for assistance flying 'home' (I live in another country, obviously) and the last time we spoke she kept talking about how she was worried about running out of food even though where she is is way less affected by Covid. She has v little conception of Dumping Out and it's stressful. You are not a bad daughter!!! Things are just a little stressful right now.
YOU ARE NOT A BAD DAUGHTER. You are a really good daughter to a difficult mother, and you’re allowed to have boundaries and doing so will actually help you be a good daughter. I know too well how hard it is to set boundaries with people who’ve never had them and trained you not to either because that was better for them. But it’s never been good for us, and it’s fine to do things that we need. We’ve also been trained to put our needs way down in priority if we acknowledge we have any at all. This is also bad for us. You took care of your mom intensely for six weeks, you’ve fulfilled your daughter duties for the year. If texting her daily is something you need, do it, but you don’t have to keep putting her needs above yours. Putting your own needs first isn’t selfish, it’s taking care of yourself. Oh also, I’ve learned in therapy that our parents have set ideas of who we are, and no matter how hard we work to change their minds, they’re probably going to pay more attention to the actions that validate their existing views. So don’t exhaust yourself trying to prove to your mother you’re a good daughter if you’ll never be good enough for her.
Captain Awkward is really good at these family issues, and at dealing with emotional black holes in general, and she even has scripts so you won’t have to figure out for yourself how to tell your mother what you’re able to give her now.
The bad news: for 2.5 days I have had the chest pressure/dry cough combo. The good news: I do not appear to be feverish (we lost our thermometer the last time we moved), I have not gotten worse, and I have seen no one but my spouse for three weeks (which raises the question where I got sick: laundromat?) also, the Mucinex cough suppressant/expectorant combo is super effective. So I ask you, what delightful and absorbing trash should I be reading during this time?
Ooh what do you like to read? Earlier this year I stayed up way too late reading Red White and Royal Blue and it was SO fan service-y but very absorbing.
I always recommend Liane Moriarty in even vaguely convalescent situations, because she's extremely readable and not taxing when you're tired, but also interesting and deep and emotionally complicated, so you still feel engaged instead of spaced out.
None of them are in series (that I know of) but I think The Hypnotist's Love Story is a good starter, or of course Big Little Lies. (I should also say that despite the very frothy cover design all her books deal with heavy themes in some way -- people get murdered, men hit their wives, children get in terrible accidents. I wouldn't describe any of her books as "dark" exactly but there is some serious content involved.)
Oh seconding this! I had low expectations for The Hypnotist’s Love Story given the title, but all of her character are so freaking charming that is hard to read any of her books and not have a good time. I will say that Nine Perfect Strangers fell a little flat for me in the second half but all of her others are fabulous.
Morning newsletter peeps! We have another sunny day today. I think we have finally turned the corner into nice weather. We'll see if I have to eat my hat this weekend.
Been utterly useless at the work from home productivity the last couple of days and feeling quite down about it. Also feeling down about realising that it's Easter next week and we won't be going home to see my parents. I'm lucky to be safe with my partner but I do miss my folks quite a bit. Been trying to get them into the habit of a photo a day of what they're doing.
On a lighter note, I made a new online friend last week and it turns out she lives six blocks from me, so once we are allowed to see people again, we're going to go and get a beer and fangirl wildly about our mutual thirst over specific youtubers. I can't wait.
Same re work productivity! I had a bad day yesterday which I described to a friend as "in a way that i recognise PERFECTLY from grad school: eating too much/badly, not wanting to do anything EXCEPT stare at the internet, probably gonna fall asleep in a bit". Then I took a 3-hour long nap.
Yay for online friends though! That sounds like so much fun.
I had an awful productivity day yesterday! You are not alone. I am working on being kinder to myself and viewing it as a win if I have one really good productivity day a week. I’ve got my fingers crossed it’s today.
How did you know I've always wanted a song dedicated to me on the radio? How!?!
I wish my mother-in-law didn't have a phobia of cats. I miss having a cat. We live pretty close to MIL, but never see her. It's very tempting to get a secret cat! Everyone's on board, except for my husband. He, due to his mom's phobia, has a serious distrust of cats. Now's not the time to do anything drastic, but I keep hoping.
My 11 yo son has a tendency to become nocturnal (insomnia pretty bad due to ADHD). Yesterday, he made a real heroic effort to stay up until 7 pm and then crashed. But now I have to get all his homework in order and begin the homeschooling. He has not worked for the last two weeks on account of the nocturnal-ness. I'm a little stressed about it because getting him to work is like pulling teeth. Or labor. I usually feel completely exhausted after 1 1/2 hrs. I'm going to do my best, but the stress can be too much! I start yelling. Not what I want to do. I guess I'm asking, do I have to stress about this? I don't want him to fall behind. 6th grade (this whole past school year) has been a nightmare.
Phew, I said it. I worry they'll decide he hasn't done enough work or been in school enough (this is excluding his COVID absences. We get lots of letters about absences.) to go to 7th grade. IDK. Sometimes it's easier when he sleeps all day! I want to be a good parent, I'm just in over my head. He's incredibly smart, yet incredibly bull-headed and has zero patience. Even with ritalin (which I don't typically give him when he's not going to school - doesn't explain the insomnia at all), it is very trying to teach him. I love him so much and yet get overwhelmed by him frequently. Blerg.
Anyway, if anyone has any encouraging words, I'd appreciate it. Or, if someone wants to call into 100.3FM and dedicate a song to me (while having me somehow aware of the time it's going to be played), that would be nice. Thanks for the distractions and for this space, Nicole! xoxo
You are a great mom and you are trying so hard! Remember that this entire semester is going to have an asterisk next to it for EVERYONE. Remember that no one learns well (your son, or you -- how to teach him at home) when they don't feel safe, and there's an actual reason not to feel safe right now. Remember that if it's right for him not to advance, that's not the end of the world or some comment on his character or your character. He's lovable and funny and smart and great and so are you. You can get through exactly one second per second, like everyone else. I believe in you.
Hi, newsletter friends! Remote work! Kids! Anxiety! Fear! I don't know how to tell my friends everything in my head. I am trying and failing and keep trying! I love you all, thank you for writing, okay bye!
I gotta say I have gotten into ALL the 'quarantine has made me gay for my roommate now' posts featured on redditships. I want a rom com about each and EVERY one of these.
Nicole I am just here to say that I live for the over-the-top encouragement in the closing paragraph of your newsletters. Obviously I love and read the entirety of each newsletter, but I just can't wait to get to the end for my daily pep talk. You're the best!!
*sending a comfortable and loving gesture with all my bottled-up hugging energy*
Your poor friend! Video interviews should be spelled out in advance! I am job searching right now and that hit home so hard. I got very angry on his behalf!
I'm a college senior, and things are getting glum for me. VA's stay-at-home order means that a May graduation is 100% not going to happen. My school was in the middle of spring break when everything changed, so I didn't even get to give all of my friends a proper goodbye, AND I'm separated from about half of my worldly possessions (my spring wardrobe! my handmade 18th-century costumes! Rainboots!). But the friends thing is what's really sticking with me. I felt a really unprecedented warmth of friendship at college and now it's just been severed far too soon.
And I know it's silly, but I keep seeing articles and headlines about how hard high school seniors have it and thinking "what about meee?? All my friends are dispersed in different STATES and even COUNTRIES and who knows if I'll ever see them again?" and I keep thi. I wanted to go to a dance. Perhaps even go to a club or a bar with friends. I would've probably hated it, but it's part of the classic "college experience" that now I'll never get to reminisce about.
I finished college last year. My heart absolutely goes out to the class of 2020: that physical dispersal of your loved ones is really tough. Plus the stresses of online learning and family responsibilities, not to mention the economy you're graduating into.
You can and should mourn whatever experiences or traditions you won't get to participate in this spring. It doesn't matter if you would've loved those events, or even gone to them! Having the choice taken from you so abruptly must hurt.
There's room for your feelings amidst everything else that's going on. We'll be thinking of you.
I'm sorry. My heart absolutely breaks for you. A good college experience, and it sure sounds like you found the right one, can be absolutely life changing and life balancing and being "popular" aka, having friends that like you and share interests after years of not is so amazing and important. You are not silly. Zoom with your friends and mourn the fact that you're not going to have that experience at commencement.
Is anyone else having the sudden realization of what being an extrovert MEANS? Like I've always known that I'm more on the outgoing end of the spectrum, enjoying being around lots of people and talking for hours on end, etc. But I think this is the first time where I'm starting to fully appreciate the whole "being an extrovert means being around people gives you ENERGY" in that I am completely exhausted and unsure of what to do with myself all day. This comment is an EVENT for me today. I am calling my parents constantly. I am refreshing my podcast library ALL THE TIME because I just want to feel like I'm part of a conversation again.
I recognize my exhaustion is also probably due to some low-level anxiety / boredom given this whole situation, but I've been really surprised by how much worse I feel not being able to be around people.
Yes, I relate to this so much! I generally don't like talking to strangers but love talking to 'my' people (friends, coworkers etc) and I could tell how much I miss it by my exuberant conversation with a grocery store cashier that made me happy for at least an hour.
Yes. I had this realization two weeks ago when I slept in every single morning. I am exhausting every day at 7 PM. I fall asleep immediately. I cannot wake up. I was mopey and tired and depressed. My work friends and I planned a zoom happy hour for after our work happy hour and I literally SHIFTED POSITIONS AND SAT UP ON THE COUCH in the middle of gossiping. It was like a children's cartoon where the hero's power returned. We did a zoom game phone call with my boyfriend's friends later that night, and I don't always love them, and I clung to them and participated like a champ for HOURS. I HAVE ASKED ABOUT THE GAME DAILY SINCE.
The double Jeremy Brett was a mistake but let’s pretend it was a joke. Also I had linked to the Elephant Love Song Medley which was SO ROMANTIC in high school and honestly still is.
Excuse me, extra Jeremy Brett can *never* be a mistake.
I saw Moulin Rouge on Broadway and it was SO GOOD. I hope it comes back after all of this so I can make my mom go see it (she introduced me to the movie, though I was probably in high school before she stopped fast-forwarding through the Red Room seduction scene with me).
Thank you sooooo much for the Jeremy Brett love. He is my fave. 😍
I am feeling so very sad about Adam Schlesinger, whose name I didn't even know, really (in spite of seeing him with Rachel Bloom in concert once), but whose writing has wormed into my deepest subconscious. And also, Rachel Bloom *just* had a baby, and the thought of dealing with all those feelings at once--I'm just a fan, it IS very weird to be a fan, but she's first in my heart today.
IT’S AWFUL
Feeling this very hard. I cried for her yesterday??
I am also sad about Adam Schlesinger, I loved Radiation Vibe and Sink to the Bottom back in the 90s and he was an insanely talented and prolific songwriter. That one hurts.
Yes. This. My heart just breaks for her.
I have been a backyard birder for a while but I am growing increasingly attached to all of my birbs, even the sparrows who loudly fuck in my bougainvillea every morning. They’re doing their best.
Same! And my guinea hens started laying yesterday so I am a very proud birb custodian today!
MATLOCK I LOVE YOU AND YOUR GIANT WHISKERS
the whiskers! i did not know about the whiskers!!
Once I was at the doctors office loitering in the blood draw area waiting for my turn and a man with an amazing voice started singing “on the street where you live”. I’m assuming it controlled his breathing and kept him calm and focused for the blood draw. It was magical and surreal and like a 30 second musical treat.
I feel like such a bad daughter right now. My mom is very needy right now and I’m just not giving it to her. Probably a daily text would be great, maybe I should do that to reassure her. She’s texting and calling and she’s a lovely person, but she’s also a bit of an emotional black hole. She is one of those people that is kind and sweet but constantly demands you tell her how much you like her and that she hasn’t done anything wrong or ever made anyone feel bad ever and requires so much validation it’s exhausting. She’s the kind of person that we all have agreements about. Like when my cousin visited and my mom forgot to put sheets on the bed and my cousin mentioned it and I went and found them for her and we agreed to never tell my mom. Or my sister in law and I have agreed to never tell her that she spells my SILs name wrong. 30 years from now my mom would still be apologizing for that. Once I Politely asked my mom to stop humming as she had been humming the same snippet for half an hour and she started crying. In January she was injured and I spent 6 weeks doing everything for her. (Then my dog had surgery, I got the flu, then a flat tire. 2020 is cursed). I just can’t, but I know I should. She’s freaked out and needs reassurance. She texts me and I don’t respond for 6 hours. Bad daughter. Thanks for letting me vent.
Oh my gosh, you're not a bad daughter, but I feel you so much. I haven't told my mother I have Covid-19 because she would panic and text me a million times a day and demand constant reassurance and I just can't deal with that. I can't. I can barely deal with my own panic. She texted three days ago to ask what I'm working on at my job and I just... haven't responded, because I'm home sick and not working on anything and I don't have the energy to come up with a lie.
These are just horrible, overwhelming times. We do what we have to do. Thinking of you.
Oh, I feel you... it's not exactly the same (my mother, for one, is the type to never apologize when she's screwed up) but my mum has been texting me asking me to contact my consulate for assistance flying 'home' (I live in another country, obviously) and the last time we spoke she kept talking about how she was worried about running out of food even though where she is is way less affected by Covid. She has v little conception of Dumping Out and it's stressful. You are not a bad daughter!!! Things are just a little stressful right now.
YOU ARE NOT A BAD DAUGHTER. You are a really good daughter to a difficult mother, and you’re allowed to have boundaries and doing so will actually help you be a good daughter. I know too well how hard it is to set boundaries with people who’ve never had them and trained you not to either because that was better for them. But it’s never been good for us, and it’s fine to do things that we need. We’ve also been trained to put our needs way down in priority if we acknowledge we have any at all. This is also bad for us. You took care of your mom intensely for six weeks, you’ve fulfilled your daughter duties for the year. If texting her daily is something you need, do it, but you don’t have to keep putting her needs above yours. Putting your own needs first isn’t selfish, it’s taking care of yourself. Oh also, I’ve learned in therapy that our parents have set ideas of who we are, and no matter how hard we work to change their minds, they’re probably going to pay more attention to the actions that validate their existing views. So don’t exhaust yourself trying to prove to your mother you’re a good daughter if you’ll never be good enough for her.
Captain Awkward is really good at these family issues, and at dealing with emotional black holes in general, and she even has scripts so you won’t have to figure out for yourself how to tell your mother what you’re able to give her now.
I have felt very much that now is the time I'm clarifying which parent parents me and which parent I parent.
So grateful for your vent. Wishing you grace and strong boundaries. My love to you
The bad news: for 2.5 days I have had the chest pressure/dry cough combo. The good news: I do not appear to be feverish (we lost our thermometer the last time we moved), I have not gotten worse, and I have seen no one but my spouse for three weeks (which raises the question where I got sick: laundromat?) also, the Mucinex cough suppressant/expectorant combo is super effective. So I ask you, what delightful and absorbing trash should I be reading during this time?
Ooh what do you like to read? Earlier this year I stayed up way too late reading Red White and Royal Blue and it was SO fan service-y but very absorbing.
That book is so delightful. Also, some AMAZING fan art on tumblr.
OK I’ve heard amazing things about this book and you’ve just given me the push to try it.
I, being a true rat, skipped past the epistolatory part of the romance but it has some VERY good kisses
I always recommend Liane Moriarty in even vaguely convalescent situations, because she's extremely readable and not taxing when you're tired, but also interesting and deep and emotionally complicated, so you still feel engaged instead of spaced out.
Sounds delightful, where should I start?
None of them are in series (that I know of) but I think The Hypnotist's Love Story is a good starter, or of course Big Little Lies. (I should also say that despite the very frothy cover design all her books deal with heavy themes in some way -- people get murdered, men hit their wives, children get in terrible accidents. I wouldn't describe any of her books as "dark" exactly but there is some serious content involved.)
Oh seconding this! I had low expectations for The Hypnotist’s Love Story given the title, but all of her character are so freaking charming that is hard to read any of her books and not have a good time. I will say that Nine Perfect Strangers fell a little flat for me in the second half but all of her others are fabulous.
Morning newsletter peeps! We have another sunny day today. I think we have finally turned the corner into nice weather. We'll see if I have to eat my hat this weekend.
Been utterly useless at the work from home productivity the last couple of days and feeling quite down about it. Also feeling down about realising that it's Easter next week and we won't be going home to see my parents. I'm lucky to be safe with my partner but I do miss my folks quite a bit. Been trying to get them into the habit of a photo a day of what they're doing.
On a lighter note, I made a new online friend last week and it turns out she lives six blocks from me, so once we are allowed to see people again, we're going to go and get a beer and fangirl wildly about our mutual thirst over specific youtubers. I can't wait.
Same re work productivity! I had a bad day yesterday which I described to a friend as "in a way that i recognise PERFECTLY from grad school: eating too much/badly, not wanting to do anything EXCEPT stare at the internet, probably gonna fall asleep in a bit". Then I took a 3-hour long nap.
Yay for online friends though! That sounds like so much fun.
I had an awful productivity day yesterday! You are not alone. I am working on being kinder to myself and viewing it as a win if I have one really good productivity day a week. I’ve got my fingers crossed it’s today.
How did you know I've always wanted a song dedicated to me on the radio? How!?!
I wish my mother-in-law didn't have a phobia of cats. I miss having a cat. We live pretty close to MIL, but never see her. It's very tempting to get a secret cat! Everyone's on board, except for my husband. He, due to his mom's phobia, has a serious distrust of cats. Now's not the time to do anything drastic, but I keep hoping.
My 11 yo son has a tendency to become nocturnal (insomnia pretty bad due to ADHD). Yesterday, he made a real heroic effort to stay up until 7 pm and then crashed. But now I have to get all his homework in order and begin the homeschooling. He has not worked for the last two weeks on account of the nocturnal-ness. I'm a little stressed about it because getting him to work is like pulling teeth. Or labor. I usually feel completely exhausted after 1 1/2 hrs. I'm going to do my best, but the stress can be too much! I start yelling. Not what I want to do. I guess I'm asking, do I have to stress about this? I don't want him to fall behind. 6th grade (this whole past school year) has been a nightmare.
Phew, I said it. I worry they'll decide he hasn't done enough work or been in school enough (this is excluding his COVID absences. We get lots of letters about absences.) to go to 7th grade. IDK. Sometimes it's easier when he sleeps all day! I want to be a good parent, I'm just in over my head. He's incredibly smart, yet incredibly bull-headed and has zero patience. Even with ritalin (which I don't typically give him when he's not going to school - doesn't explain the insomnia at all), it is very trying to teach him. I love him so much and yet get overwhelmed by him frequently. Blerg.
Anyway, if anyone has any encouraging words, I'd appreciate it. Or, if someone wants to call into 100.3FM and dedicate a song to me (while having me somehow aware of the time it's going to be played), that would be nice. Thanks for the distractions and for this space, Nicole! xoxo
You are a great mom and you are trying so hard! Remember that this entire semester is going to have an asterisk next to it for EVERYONE. Remember that no one learns well (your son, or you -- how to teach him at home) when they don't feel safe, and there's an actual reason not to feel safe right now. Remember that if it's right for him not to advance, that's not the end of the world or some comment on his character or your character. He's lovable and funny and smart and great and so are you. You can get through exactly one second per second, like everyone else. I believe in you.
Hi, newsletter friends! Remote work! Kids! Anxiety! Fear! I don't know how to tell my friends everything in my head. I am trying and failing and keep trying! I love you all, thank you for writing, okay bye!
God bless Matlock (being his best cat self) and kudos to Ina Garten, my new quarantine hero.
My son and I spent over an hour on the phone last night doing a close reading of the Bon Appétit making coffee video. This is our life now
I gotta say I have gotten into ALL the 'quarantine has made me gay for my roommate now' posts featured on redditships. I want a rom com about each and EVERY one of these.
literally just today: https://twitter.com/redditships/status/1245424638315937793
Well that's adorable
Thank you so much, this is amazing
Nicole I am just here to say that I live for the over-the-top encouragement in the closing paragraph of your newsletters. Obviously I love and read the entirety of each newsletter, but I just can't wait to get to the end for my daily pep talk. You're the best!!
*sending a comfortable and loving gesture with all my bottled-up hugging energy*
Your poor friend! Video interviews should be spelled out in advance! I am job searching right now and that hit home so hard. I got very angry on his behalf!
I'm a college senior, and things are getting glum for me. VA's stay-at-home order means that a May graduation is 100% not going to happen. My school was in the middle of spring break when everything changed, so I didn't even get to give all of my friends a proper goodbye, AND I'm separated from about half of my worldly possessions (my spring wardrobe! my handmade 18th-century costumes! Rainboots!). But the friends thing is what's really sticking with me. I felt a really unprecedented warmth of friendship at college and now it's just been severed far too soon.
And I know it's silly, but I keep seeing articles and headlines about how hard high school seniors have it and thinking "what about meee?? All my friends are dispersed in different STATES and even COUNTRIES and who knows if I'll ever see them again?" and I keep thi. I wanted to go to a dance. Perhaps even go to a club or a bar with friends. I would've probably hated it, but it's part of the classic "college experience" that now I'll never get to reminisce about.
I finished college last year. My heart absolutely goes out to the class of 2020: that physical dispersal of your loved ones is really tough. Plus the stresses of online learning and family responsibilities, not to mention the economy you're graduating into.
You can and should mourn whatever experiences or traditions you won't get to participate in this spring. It doesn't matter if you would've loved those events, or even gone to them! Having the choice taken from you so abruptly must hurt.
There's room for your feelings amidst everything else that's going on. We'll be thinking of you.
I'm sorry. My heart absolutely breaks for you. A good college experience, and it sure sounds like you found the right one, can be absolutely life changing and life balancing and being "popular" aka, having friends that like you and share interests after years of not is so amazing and important. You are not silly. Zoom with your friends and mourn the fact that you're not going to have that experience at commencement.
Is anyone else having the sudden realization of what being an extrovert MEANS? Like I've always known that I'm more on the outgoing end of the spectrum, enjoying being around lots of people and talking for hours on end, etc. But I think this is the first time where I'm starting to fully appreciate the whole "being an extrovert means being around people gives you ENERGY" in that I am completely exhausted and unsure of what to do with myself all day. This comment is an EVENT for me today. I am calling my parents constantly. I am refreshing my podcast library ALL THE TIME because I just want to feel like I'm part of a conversation again.
I recognize my exhaustion is also probably due to some low-level anxiety / boredom given this whole situation, but I've been really surprised by how much worse I feel not being able to be around people.
Yes, I relate to this so much! I generally don't like talking to strangers but love talking to 'my' people (friends, coworkers etc) and I could tell how much I miss it by my exuberant conversation with a grocery store cashier that made me happy for at least an hour.
Yes. I had this realization two weeks ago when I slept in every single morning. I am exhausting every day at 7 PM. I fall asleep immediately. I cannot wake up. I was mopey and tired and depressed. My work friends and I planned a zoom happy hour for after our work happy hour and I literally SHIFTED POSITIONS AND SAT UP ON THE COUCH in the middle of gossiping. It was like a children's cartoon where the hero's power returned. We did a zoom game phone call with my boyfriend's friends later that night, and I don't always love them, and I clung to them and participated like a champ for HOURS. I HAVE ASKED ABOUT THE GAME DAILY SINCE.
Yes! I never thought I was strongly one way or the other but it's really sinking in.