I remember the most aggravating thing about those last few weeks of pregnancy was fielding calls and texts and emails from very nice people along the line of “you haven’t had that baby YET?” so I can only imagine what Meghan Markle is dealing with at this time.
That being said, my friends and I are truly bananas with our excitement over Baby Sussex, and I would really appreciate your prayers and good vibes that said baby NOT arrive tomorrow, when my brilliant friend Jasmine is on an international flight. Nor do we want the baby to arrive on Sunday, because that’s ALSO the birthday of my other friend’s mom, who will be…insufferable…about it for years. Okay! That’s it. That’s the only royal content today.
Something I think would be REALLY fun for our lil newsletter community would be for us to feature a “Pets of Nicole Knows” with each installment. To feature your good boy or girl (dogs, cats, buns, I’m very open-minded), please send me a photo at nicole dot cliffe at gmail, as opposed to just hitting reply, bc it tends to turn attachments into weird unopenable things. In addition to the photo, I request your pet’s name, your own first name, if you want, and one fun thing about your pet. This way we get our chonky animal AND we get to bond a little as a new community, which…I think we are becoming?
I wake up so much happier, already, seeing emails from newsletter people than opening Twitter in terror. I respond to as many as I can, but I read almost all of them, and I LOVE THEM. I truly love them. I also hadn’t appreciated the mental freedom of knowing that people who see my content have pro-actively taken the step to do so, I’m not just being annoyingly RT’d into their timelines. Does that make sense?
Something I find absolutely appalling is the ongoing treatment of the phenomenal runner Caster Semenya, a woman I admire greatly, and who has been submitted to the most humiliating possible behaviors and restrictions over the last several years. I really appreciated Slate’s take:
46, XY DSD is found in populations all around the world. But white, Western standards of femininity are being applied to all female athletes, and it’s no coincidence that the only high-profile, elite female athletes exposed publicly so far as having DSD are women of color from the global south. This isn’t just a gender story; it’s an intersectional story of gender and race, with a hefty sprinkling of imperial legacy. When Western athletes transform their bodies by using antigravity treadmills and platelet-rich plasma injections to speed up recovery, that’s considered to be on the “fair” side of the competitive advantage line. It’s hard to reconcile this with a black South African gay female athlete who is trying to compete as she is, without chemically altering her body, and who has been deemed on the “unfair” side.
Okay, obviously we were going to discuss the Anjelica Huston conversation, which a friend described to me as the most bananas celebrity interview since Quincy Jones.
I will just excerpt some of the best parts, then we can move on:
1.
You were 17 and your brother Tony was 18 when your mother was killedAnjelica’s mother, model and ballerina Enrica “Ricki” Soma, was the daughter of Italian immigrants. Her father Tony ran celebrity-hangout restaurant Tony’s Wife on East 55th Street in Manhattan. When Soma first met John Huston, he was married to his third wife, the actress Evelyn Keyes. Soma died in a car accident in Dijon, France, in 1969 at the age of 39.in a car accident in France.
You know, Tony and I’ve never even discussed our mother’s death. Still haven’t.You grew up together but now apparently don’t speak. Why?
We never got on. Well, actually, that’s not fair to say, because we got along momentarily. And then it would kind of fall apart again. TonyWalter Antony “Tony” Huston, born in 1950, was nominated in 1988 for Best Adapted Screenplay for The Dead, John Huston’s final film. Actor Jack Huston is one of his three children. could bully me, and I found ways of shielding myself. I could look at him in a particularly withering way. It would just make him crazy.You wrote that he set up a fight between you and a neighborhood boy. That’s a little weird.
There wasn’t much to do in Ireland.Huston spent her early years at St. Clerans, a 110-acre estate in County Galway, Ireland, that John Huston owned from the mid-’50s through the mid-’70s. The estate was eventually purchased in the 1990s by Merv Griffin, who converted it into a boutique hotel.
2.
A Walk With Love and Death was not well received. The critic John Simon wrote, “There is a perfectly blank, supremely inept performance by Huston’s daughter, Anjelica, who has the face of an exhausted gnu, the voice of an unstrung tennis racket, and a figure of no discernible shape.” I had to look up what a gnu is.
Wasn’t that pretty? That’s good, isn’t it?Coming as it did when you were 18, did it stick with you?
It sticks with you. And now that you’ve reminded me, it will stick with me for another ten years.I probably wouldn’t have quoted it had you not included it in your memoir.
No, I completely accept that. I think the news there is he’s dead and I’m not.You think he’s dead?
He must be.I was curious myself. I looked him up. He’s 93 years old. He’s alive.
He’s dead as far as I’m concerned.
I had honestly planned to do several more excerpts, but then she started saying super horrible things about Woody Allen and Roman Polanski and Jeffrey Tambor and it just bummed me the fuck out. But you should read it, it’s important. It’s not just a generational divide, it’s a lifelong rich and famous person thing, where everything you say is always greeted with delighted attention and no one ever pushes back on you…thing. Anyway! Moving on!
This Ask a Manager letter had my head spinning: JANE GOTTA GO:
I hired a new team member, “Jane,” six months ago. She’s competent and diligent, but now that she’s coming out of her shell, her rigidity around her idea of professional norms are quickly alienating her team members as well as other people on staff.
* She complains about women colleagues’ workwear for being too revealing. It’s not.
* She is offended by cursing in the office — she is firmly against it to the point of lecturing other employees. There’s a sales environment in our office and the occasional profanity or swear is common and fine here.
* She is very thin-skinned and takes personal offense at seemingly everything. She has been offended by people asking her to repeat something she said, at being given a solution to a problem that she brought forward, at other colleagues having personal conversations around her, but not including her — pretty much all normal, innocuous interactions in a workplace.
People here are in their late 20s-50s for the most part, and we have a good rapport among our team members, but I do see them pulling away from Jane because she does take a lot of energy to deal with. Everyone is busy with work, and it’s a lot for one coworker to be consistently on the verge of tears after every interaction, asking for private meetings to discuss how her feelings were hurt, and no one wants to be lectured because they dropped an f bomb in an open office, or a woman decided to wear a skirt that falls above her knees.
One team member, Margaery, has been a constant target of Jane’s lectures. Margaery has a lot of stock at this company because she’s results-oriented and her projects are highly successful. She also uses profanity (not in a customer-facing role) and wears trendy clothing, not inappropriate, but more daring than Jane’s conservative/modest dress. Jane has made it clear that she thinks Margaery is slutty and unprofessional. This flies in the face of 1) our company culture, in which Margaery is fine and normal and 2) reality — Margaery has been working in this field for longer than Jane, and Jane could learn a lot from Margaery’s professional brand, particularly when it comes to building productive and lasting relationships with many different kinds of people.
Jane constantly asks how she can move up the ladder and get a promotion. Her work is fine, but she’s losing credibility among her colleagues and Margaery has already been to HR to discuss the “gendered harassment” she receives from Jane. I know as a manager I’ve messed up by letting it get this far. At the beginning, I considered it to just be a minor interpersonal dispute until many employees came forward with complaints about Jane. I understand now how that was wrong, but I don’t know how to manage her I’ve had previous conversations with Jane on focusing more on her work and less around policing the clothing and language of those around her, as well as assuming positive intent before feeling insulted/slighted by normal work requests and she seems to understand but then goes back to her old behavior. It is also hard to have these conversations with her because she always goes back to “this hurts my feelings.”
At this point, I’m worried that we’re heading towards a PIP, and I’d like some language and coaching actions to avoid that, particularly around her issues with policing women for their bodies, clothing, and language. I’m a 30something male and maybe this isn’t even the right tack for me to take.
Today’s Chonky Animal:
A number of you have BLESSEDLY reached out to me to say you would love more sovereign citizen content, which has filled me with tremendous joy, as it’s one of my favourite things in the whole world. It’s also a little like Alien v Predator, because most sovereign citizens conflicts are with the cops, and I’m not a big fan of cops these days, but that doesn’t take anything away from my love of someone getting their ass handed to them in court because they do not recognize the authority of the United States government. So, digging into the past, here are some great sovereign citizen moments on Reddit.
A Freeman on the Land in the UK, Rare and Exciting:
I have been observing a courtroom as park of my ongoing training and had the pleasure of witnessing first hand some of the tactics used by FotL, I'll describe it briefly for anyone who is interested! (Names changed)
NB the charge was failure to pay taxes
TL;DR at the bottom
The defendant was called into the court, and immediately began reading loudly from a large binder, proclaiming himself exempt from the proceedings of the "ship" etc etc. He was eventually shouted down by the district judge who was overseeing the case, and a friend who had come in with him began whispering to him while the judge made clear she wouldn't stand for this shit. She ordered the friend to pipe down, and tried to work out what was going on.
DJ - District Judge Def - Defendant FoD - friend of defendant
DJ: Can you please tell the court your full name
FoD: whispers to defendant
DJ: okay you, who are you? Why are you talking in my courtroom?
FoD: Mame I will be acting as a McKenzie Friend today
(A McKenzie Friend is a usually non-qualified individual who may sit with an unrepresented defendant to offer advice and support. They can be prosecuted for giving misleading advic. It is generally assumed that if someone wants a McKenzie Friend they should be allowed to stay)
DJ: okay so who are you?
FoD: Mame I do not have a name, but have a calling and am commonly referred to as Hugh Jones.
DJ: okay Mr Jones we need to-
FoD: Mame that is not my title. I do not have a name but am commonly known as Hugh Jones.
DJ: do not interrupt me in my court. Is your name Hugh Jones
FoD: no mame.
DJ: okay so what is your name?
FoD: Mame I do not have a name, but have a calling and am commonly referred to as Hugh Jones.
this goes on for some time
DJ: Okay look, for me to determine whether or not you are suitable to be a McKenzie Friend I first need to know who you are. Are you refusing to tell me who you are?
FoD: Mame I have told you who I am. I do not have a name, but have a calling and am commonly referred to as Hugh Jones.
DJ: Okay on that basis I reject your application to be a McKenzie Friend and order you to leave the court.
FoD kicks up a fuss and is shepherded out by the security staff
DJ to Def: okay now I want you to listen to this very closely. I am about to ask you whether you are defendant's name or not. If you give any answer other than "Yes.", I am going to be forced to consider that you are NOT the defendant in this case. As such, you would be asked to leave this courthouse and the trial will continue in your absence. Have I made that all very clear? Good. So, can you please confirm that you are defendants name?
court goes silent, 10 second pause, all eyes on defendant
...
Def: Mame I have no name, I am commonly referred to as Defendant's Name.
DJ: you were warned, Mr Name, please leave the court.
Def shouts about his rights, accuses security of assaulting him as they manoeuvre him to the door etc.
DJ, after he's gone: Right so it seems to me that our defendant has failed to show up in court today. I will be issuing a warrant for his arrest for failure to attend court, and the trial will proceed in his absence.
Virtually as he stepped out of the courtroom he was arrested and remanded in the cells below the court while the trial took place. He was found guilty, and will be sentenced in a few weeks.
Ah, white people really do have drastically different levels of comfort fucking with cops:
Okay, now, just some normal Redditing!
This sounds like something I want to learn more about (it’s always the husband):
Linda Sherman Goes Missing in 1985, Her Skull Appears Outside Her Husband's Favourite Restaurant Five Years Later
In 1985, 27-year old Linda Sherman lived in Vinita Park, Missouri with her 28-year old husband, Don Sherman, and their nine-year old daughter, Patty. The couple originally got married when they were in high school after Linda became pregnant. They would experience a tumultuous marriage as Don was known for being jealous, controlling and abusive. On multiple occasions, Linda took Patty and moved out and threatened Don with divorce, but the couple would always reconcile. On April 11, Linda told her family she had finally made the decision to end the marriage for good and officially filed for divorce, but she elected to remain in the house with Don until he was served divorce papers. At 2:16 AM on April 22, Linda signed out after her night shift ended at the U.S. Government Records Center. When she arrived home, Don claimed that they got into an argument because he suspected Linda was having an affair with a co-worker. Don said he went to bed at 4:00 AM while Linda went to sleep on the couch. Later that morning, Patty woke up and Don took her to school even though Linda was usually the one who drove her. Patty would claim that as she was leaving the house, she saw Linda lying on the couch with her back turned. Patty recalled seeing no movements from her mother, who did not even get up to say goodbye to her before she left.
Don would claim that he returned home at 6:00 PM that and was surprised to see that Linda was still there. Since she was running late for work, Linda quickly drove away. However, she never showed up for her shift and did not return home. Don figured she had run off with another man, so he did not report Linda missing until April 24 until her sister and brother-in-law, Fran and Sam Miller, insisted he go to the police. Two days later, the Millers would find Linda’s abandoned vehicle in the short-term parking garage at Lambert International Airport. However, there was no listing for Linda’s name on any of the recent outgoing flights and her family did not believe she would have abandoned her daughter. Don would later tell police that he saw Linda in the passenger’s seat of a van being driven by an unidentified male a few days after she originally went missing. When he called out to her, Linda ducked out of sight before the van drove off. The co-worker whom Don accused Linda of having an affair with was investigated by police, but he had a solid alibi and was ruled out as a suspect. Years later, Don filed a cross-petition for a divorce on the grounds that Linda had abandoned him and their daughter, but since she could not be found, a judge dismissed the divorce filing in June 1989.
On June 28, 1990, a skull was found in the bushes outside the Casa Gallardo restaurant in Bridgeton. It belonged to an adult female, but since the skull could not be identified, it was kept inside the county morgue’s evidence room. On September 6, 1991, the Vinita Park Police Department received an unsealed envelope containing a flier for the Casa Gallardo restaurant. The flier had a message stamped on it in purple ink: “THE BRIDGETON POLICE HAVE L. SHERMAN’S SKULL”. On the basis of this anonymous note, dental records were used to identify the skull as belonging to Linda. It turned out Casa Gallardo was Don’s favourite restaurant, as he hung out at their bar multiple times per week. He believed someone had intentionally left Linda’s skull outside the restaurant to send him a message. However, investigators theorized that Don was hoping to get remarried, but since he had no luck divorcing Linda, he retrieved her skull and leave it a public place, so she would be declared legally dead. Don denied these allegations and while he did get remarried in 1994, he passed away in 2015. The rest of Linda’s remains have never been found and her case is still unsolved.
Oompa Loompa (Scottish People Twitter is a great subreddit, FYI):
I had NO IDEA this is what a cat’s tongue looks like under a microscope and I LOVE IT:
Okay, love you all, have a wonderful Thursday!!! n