What a Good Day For a Weird Reddit Installment!

as above, so below

Before I get straight to Reddit-ing, please check out today’s Care and Feeding column, in which I tackle moms trying to poison cats with death plants, Barbies, AND Elf on a Shelf!

ALSO, the heck is going on in Havana???:

Wary of being seen as a burden, Lee didn’t mention her condition to her superiors, Jeffrey DeLaurentis, the Embassy’s chief of mission, and his deputy, Scott Hamilton, but they already knew that something strange was happening. Between December 30, 2016, and February 9, 2017, at least three C.I.A. officers working under diplomatic cover in Cuba had reported troubling sensations that seemed to leave serious injuries. When the agency sent reinforcements to Havana, at least two of them were afflicted as well.

All the victims described being bombarded by waves of pressure in their heads. Unlike Lee, though, the C.I.A. officers said that they heard loud sounds, similar to cicadas, which seemed to follow them from one room to another. But when they opened an outside door the sounds abruptly stopped. Some of the victims said that it felt as if they were standing in an invisible beam of energy.

The Americans suffered from headaches, dizziness, and a perplexing range of other symptoms. Later, specialists studied their brains and determined that the injuries resembled concussions, like those suffered by soldiers struck by roadside bombs in Iraq and Afghanistan. But there were no signs of impact. One of the specialists said it was as if the victims had a “concussion without concussion.” Douglas Smith, who oversaw a team that examined the victims at the University of Pennsylvania, said, “None of us have ever encountered anything like this before.” Experts at the C.I.A. were baffled by what they saw as an alarming new threat, one of the most confounding medical and espionage mysteries to involve American personnel overseas since the Cold War. The affliction didn’t have a name, so some of the victims started to refer to it simply as the Thing.

This absolute unit:

oh yeah that’s pointed as heck:

I gave my three weeks notice at my current job yesterday, and things have already gotten weird! About an hour after I had the conversation with my manager, I received an email from a colleague who is close with my manager, but who I am not close with. He congratulated me on my new position, and then sent three web links to articles on how to “gracefully resign.” All three links have these in the title, it seems like that’s the phrase he googled.

Am I being paranoid, or does this seem as pointed as it feels? I’m not sure where it’s coming from, as I’ve never had any negative feedback about my professionalism, and so far, my resignation has been very by the books. I’d like to ask him whether my manager feels that I haven’t been professional in my resignation, but I’m wondering if it’s just better to let this one go?

this is a cursed image, you have been warned, do not click

This look at New York City’s worst subway accident is incredibly gripping:

At 6:42 p.m., 28 minutes after it left Park Row, the train carrying 650 passengers slammed into a concrete abutment as it rounded a sharp curve approaching the Malbone Street station in Flatbush. Nearly 100 riders died and another 250 were injured in what remains New York City’s worst subway accident and arguably the worst train crash in American history.

“On the basis of faulty assumptions and a perfectly understandable desire to keep the trains rolling,” Brian Cudahy wrote in “The Malbone Street Wreck” (1999), “the B.R.T. awkwardly, tragically and stupidly stumbled into the worst mistake in the history of American urban transportation.”

nope, nope, bail out now:

Last week, he said his ex and his boyfriend were in town again and they invited us to brunch. I thought nothing of it and went. At the brunch, his ex mentioned that she and her BF were engaged. This really threw off my BF. His mood just suddenly changed. After the brunch, I noticed him taking her aside and whispering something.

The whole week, my BF seemed to be in a bad mood. Yesterday morning, I found my BF drinking shots at the kitchen counter. He looked as if he hadn’t slept all night. I asked him what was wrong. He shrugged. I asked him if itnwas about his ex, because he had been off ever since he saw her.

He said yes. He told me that he hasn’t been able to stop thinking about her and the smile on her face when she showed off her new ring. “Its funny because I always thought that she’d be wearing my ring.” I was stunned. He continued. “Dont you have a man who you thought was “the one who got away?”

He asked if he could be honest with me. He told me that he still loved her. That he had always loved her. But he said at the end something about fate and how he had to move on and that he had to focus on us right now. That his ex was a thing of the past. Still, I was fucking devastated. I appreciated his honesty and understand he was drunk, but wow, it fucking hurt.

Im crying in my room and i dont know what to do. I feel like my heart has just been stomped on. My fears have been validated. My bf is only with me because he can’t have his ex. Where do I even go from here.

this guy seemed okay and then people dug into his previous posts and comments and turns out his wife is exhausted bc she does ALL OF THE WORK, there is nothing equitable about the division:

My wife is amazing. She is smart, professonal, beautiful, a great mom and a great person. We contribute similarly to our household in income, chores, and parenting. She gets up early with the kids, goes to work, comes home. Then it's dinner, entertain kids, get ready for the next day. Now her responsibilites are done for the day. She can relax. Now I can spend some time with her.

No - not usually. She is tired, needs her own time, or wants to vent and is generally negative. This is understandable. I do my own thing or listen/talk - whatever she prefers. Give her a kiss and say I love her - goodnight. But that's not what I want.

I wish I got the same energy her work and our kids get. She always impresses me when interacting with others. Maybe there isnt enough energy left for me. Or maybe it is a squeaky wheel gets the grease type thing.

THE HARDEST OF PASSES FROM ME:

My coworker found out that my birthday is coming up and he decided to buy me a a bracelet.

I was kind of shocked because although we are work friends, we aren’t besties. He put it in my desk and left a note that said “Happy Birthday! You deserve it.” I pulled him aside to thank him for the gift (and to also not call attention to it) and told him that although it’s beautiful I can’t accept it. He asked why and I said it’s just too expensive and I don’t feel comfortable accepting it.

He told me to keep it and said he wouldn’t accept that answer. So before I left work, I left it on his desk when he wasn’t looking and left.

The next day he pulled me aside and asked why I accepted gifts from other coworkers but not him. I explained to him that it was because usually those gifts cost less than $10 bucks.

Later that day he sent me a long-winded email that he was deeply offended by my behavior and that he just wanted to be nice and that I deserved it. He wrote that the bracelet was a drop in the bucket and not a big deal for him financially speaking.

I told him it wasn’t personal and that I would deny a gift like that from anyone unless it was from my husband or a family member.

The following day he apologized to me and brought me coffee and a muffin. I told him it was no big deal and accepted the coffee and muffin (even though I didn’t want to.)

That night he started texting me which was strange because he never texts me at night. He said he ended up giving the bracelet to his wife and that she loved it.

I was confused as to why he was telling me this information and wasn’t exactly sure how to respond so I just said “I’m glad it found a home!” He texted me and said it “but it would’ve looked great on your chocolate skin.”

At this point I stopped responding because I felt uncomfortable. I began ignoring him at work, too, and began working from home more often.

Fast forward to the following week. I bumped into him while I was with my husband at the grocery store. He invited both of us over for dinner, and my husband accepted. I plan on getting hit with a “stomach bug” that night so we don’t have to go. I told my husband everything after that.

My coworker sent me an text saying that “we needed to talk” but I haven’t responded.

oh boy, this guy bugs me a whole lot (also I DO think your stalking habits are relevant, sir!):

The mother of my 2 children(twins) and her parents who have a history of child abuse, put the children into Closed Adoption, and I was never contacted about the birth. I know of them because the nanny of the adoptive parents showed them to me(in austria), I do not know the hospital or birthdate, I only roughly know their age(6) and for many years I didn't even know they existed. The mother and her parents also filed against me for Criminal Harassment when she was pregnant and I was trying to talk to her. I got deported from the country. I am not allowed to return. But were they not legally suppose to contact me before closed adoption? My family is large and not poor and we could have raised them if the Mother didn't want too. Now I'm in the terrible situation of knowing I have kids, but have nothing legal about them. I don't even know if my full name is on the birth certificates. Thanks in advance. Also one of the adoptive families knew me personally as I went to high school with their daughter, who is the main care taker of my son. I've spoken to my embassy about this and they won't do anything.

yeah i’m sure that’ll go great:

uhhhh:

xoxoxoxxoox love you all