Hi lovelies! I had a really nice birthday, I stayed in bed all day and Steve stayed home from work and allowed me to control the TV ALL DAY (caught him up on Succession, Mindhunter s2, etc.) and also ate an entire cheesecake. Everyone online said nice things about me, it was basically perfect. Now, Reddit? Reddit. And some other things. I did have to throw out a dead mouse but it was in one of our new Zapper traps so I did not have to use The Large Rock of Justice.

They definitely can ask, also the wording on this letter makes me a little suspicious about the LW’s degree of culpability in said incident:

I was in a domestic altercation in which both parties were arrested, as is the law where I live. It was a dumb argument that unfortunately escalated. I also had to go to the hospital for a finger broken in two places, a broken nose, and stitches in my ear. I was in the hospital Tuesday to Wednesday, then in jail Wednesday to Friday. I went home Friday and went to work as normal on Monday. So I was unable to go to work for four days but did not tell my employer I had been arrested. I lied and said I had been attacked. I was released on my own recognizance and put on a six-month pre-trial diversion. A family member called in for me each day that I was out, saying I would not be able to be in, and the days were unpaid.

I did give my employer a copy of my discharge papers from the hospital showing I had been treated, and it was obvious as my face was bruised, but now they are requesting a copy of the police report. Can they legally ask me for a copy of the police report? I do not want them to know my personal business as it is very embarrassing and I don’t feel it is any of their business. Shouldn’t the note from the hospital be sufficient?

This was such an upsetting and infuriating read:

Each day, the Kingston plant generated a thousand tons of coal ash, the sooty by-product of burning coal to produce electricity. Much of this ash ended up in an unlined hole in the ground, known as a holding pond. The thing was, Kingston’s “pond” was not so much a pond but a mountain of wet ash, 60 feet tall, covering 84 acres, and built at the confluence of two rivers, the Clinch and the Emory. It was a precarious setup, one made more so by the fact that this six-story mountain of ash was contained by a dike, made not of concrete or steel but of bottom ash, the coarse, dense component of coal ash.

Two years earlier, Clark had helped to repair a minor breach in the dike. When he walked on the ash mountain, the ground beneath his feet had jiggled like a waterbed. He’d once told a co-worker that the dike would fail one day. “I didn’t think it would,” he recalled. “I knowed it would.” Now the day had come.

At first light, Clark and Hill climbed into a pickup and drove up the backside of a large wooded hill that overlooked the coal-ash pond. “As long as I live, I’ll never forget what that looked like,” Clark said.

Leslie Jones is leaving SNL and I will miss her, this is one of my favs:

YES, I want to know the scariest story you know that is 100% true, TRIGGERS OBVIOUSLY:

My friend's boss bought an Audi A4 convertible, back when they were new and interesting. One of the talking points was the pop-up roll hoops that were hidden unless you rolled it.

A few months after buying it he got to test those roll hoops out, as he lost control and skidded down a steep bank about 10m (~35ft) deep.

The roll hoops did their job, and he survived with just cuts and scratches from the bushes he'd plowed through. The car ended up the right way up and he got out, walked back up the bank to the side of the road, then got on the phone to the police to report the accident. While he was standing there a driver from a car that had seen the accident came over to speak to him.

Approaching from behind the other driver asked if he was okay. My friend's boss turned around to reply and dropped dead. His neck had been fractured, but was in one piece right up until he turned his head, when it severed his spinal cord.

This is also an excellent Ask Reddit prompt, on the greatest “fuck you” moments in history:

no you’re great:

I work at a petting zoo here, and this weekend we had two teenager (around 16, boyfriend and girlfriend) who were antagonizing a llama.

I told them "you might want to cut that out! Llamas spit in self-defense." But they kind of laughed my warning off.

Now, I knew that llama spit was a whole lot worse than they probably thought it was. But I decided not to tell them about that. I figured if they persisted, I'd trust the llama to teach them a lesson.

The llama was being patient. At one point it gave them a "warning spit" (just saliva) and they went "eww" and laughed about it and brushed it off, and then kept going at it.

Finally, the llama had enough...and unleashed its green, defensive spit that llamas are known for. It got the girl square in the face. She dropped to her knees and started retching, and eventually threw up. Her boyfriend was gagging and ran away, towards the building that I was in.

To make things worse for them, I didn't even let them come in to wash up in the petting zoo's only bathroom! It was a slow day, so I just locked the doors. I told them I didn't want that smell inside, and made them leave the farm without washing up.

AITA? The girl's parents called me the next day and yelled at me saying that was too harsh. Maybe it was...I knew that if you don't wash out llama spit right away the smell sinks into your skin and becomes extremely hard to remove, but I wanted the lesson to sink in as well.

Every version of this new meme has delighted moi:

I’m so glad my genius colleague Jamilah took this one:

Dear Care and Feeding:

My boyfriend and I have been living together for four years, and purchased our home together two years ago. He has a 7-year-old son, “Mikey,” whom we have a little less than half of the time. When it comes to the possibility of our own marriage and children, we have remained in a state of ambiguity, with neither of us really for or against it.

Through the process of helping to raise Mikey, I’ve begun to realize that my partner and I have some fundamental differences in regard to child rearing. He is very loving and affectionate and engaged with his son, but there is little discipline or structure unless it’s initiated by me. Sometimes I feel like I’m having to parent him while he parents Mikey. Things that might seem like common sense to most adults don’t occur to my boyfriend without my prodding: not allowing Mikey to have six hours of screen time, making sure he goes to bed on time, having him practice tying his own shoes or reading, not backing down on these things the second he has a tantrum. I recognize that Mikey is my boyfriend’s child and that he has to make the decisions about how he is parented, but I end up stuck in the middle when he doesn’t do the right thing.

At this point, I’ve realized that even if I decided I did want a baby, I don’t see us being able to function like this full time. My boyfriend is incredibly loving, normally very attentive, generous, and patient—all qualities that are important for a partner and father. But he just can’t seem to manage the more difficult parts of parenting. I want to be able to be more nurturing and fun with my stepson, but the other stuff that needs to be done won’t happen if I don’t do it—and I feel like Mikey is going to hate me if this continues.

I also manage all of the household scheduling, plan all of our trips, buy Mikey’s clothes, figure out how to make holidays special (even when Mikey is with his mom), etc. For instance, Mikey’s mom changed part of his routine for this new school year and instead of making any attempt at figuring it out on his own, my boyfriend just asked me the details and claimed he didn’t have the time to do so himself. He just expects me to handle nearly everything, which I do begrudgingly because it has to get done.

Before you ask: Yes, I’ve brought these concerns up with him, several times. In fact, we were very close to breaking up about it at one point. But I love this man with everything I have, and I know he feels the same. Is it possible for us to be great partners together but just not great parents together? I would rather be with him than be a single mother, but I feel like if we were to have another child, it would break us up.

xoxoxoxoxo, I love each of you so VERY MUCH,