Second Verse, Same as the First

A little bit louder and a little bit worse

How are we doing? Still here? The knitters are so fortunate. I see you, knitting things. You were training for this your whole life. All the crafty people are doing so well.

My husband is watching a video of a guy shooting all the guns from the John Wick franchise and then talking about the coolest ones. The guy shooting the guns is wearing a t-shirt that says “Booze Cruise” and has a picture of Washington crossing the Delaware. It is the exact opposite of “Portrait of a Lady on Fire”, but I guess we all have our coping mechanisms. At one point the guy complains that YouTube has demonetized his videos. I laughed a lot.

I went outside briefly yesterday on a deserted trail. I had to be dragged out, but my family was right to do so.

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Please send love and life and prayers and vibes to John Prine, my whole heart:

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Relatable:

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your mom is not a great manager:

2. My mom makes her team stay on video all day

My mom is a younger boomer who manages a fairly young team at a start-up. I am in my mid-twenties and have never managed anyone, but I’ve been in the workforce for several years.

Her entire team is working from home, and when I was chatting with her about how that was going, she mentioned that she makes them keep their video cameras on. At. All. Times. I asked her if she trusts her team to do what they’re supposed to be doing, and she said yes, but she likes the confirmation.

I know that this is probably none of my business, but from what she’s told me about her team they seem pretty capable, and I know a few have kids and other distractions right now. I know they might be uncomfortable pushing back, since she’s pretty no-nonsense. Do I have an obligation to do more than just hinting that it might not be best practice? She can’t fire me from being her kid, so it’s not like I have much to lose. I just don’t know how qualified I am to make that distinction since, as I said, I am not a manager, nor have I ever been.

For what it’s worth, she doesn’t have any boundary issues with me, nor has she ever been especially pushy. I think this might be a generational thing?

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Insurance scammer kitty:

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This seems about right, shine on, you crazy diamonds, but we will FUCKING GET YOU IF YOU’RE ABUSING IT, because it’s a real problem here (I hope this allows women in abusive situations to feel more able to contact the authorities without being afraid they’ll lose their kids):

SALT LAKE CITY — Polygamy has essentially been decriminalized under a bill signed into law by Utah's governor.

On Saturday, the governor signed Senate Bill 102 into law. It reduces the crime of bigamy among consenting adults to an infraction -- on par with a traffic ticket. However, bigamy in concert with other crimes like abuse, fraud or child-bride marriages, becomes a felony.

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if you have not watched the reporter sensibly electing not to be in a conflict with bison, please, enjoy

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wonder how that’s going right about now

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My column was good on Friday, and allowed me to use my personal advice brand catchphrase:

Dear Care and Feeding,

Is it wrong to restrict my social butterfly, a senior in high school, from going out and seeing his friends right now?

—Social Butterfly, Flutter By

Dear Social Butterfly,

Absolutely not. If he wants to be a disease vector, he can wait until he moves out. We live in a society.

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I do not like the trash pandas, but this is, indeed, an absolute unit of a lad:

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Captain Awkward answers everything at once, with her beautiful flair:

Do not evict roommates or tenants due to coronavirus fears. Find another way.

Do not call the police – that includes the 311 non-emergency line – on neighbors who you think are insufficiently socially distancing. I don’t care what ordinances your city put in place, if you don’t know quite how to have a conversation with somebody, why do you think someone with a gun and the power to arrest/fine/do indiscriminate violence to them is going to be better at it? If you don’t know your neighbors, there will never be a better time to get to know them. Maybe they could use garbage bags or cookies or fabric softener the next time you go to the store.

That confusing guy from college was probably going to remain confusing and never be your boyfriend, but it’s okay to feel a lot of feelings about having your semester cancelled and never being able to find out for sure where things could go. It’s okay to grieve, it’s okay to still nurse unsuitable crushes, and it’s understandable while all the feelings about everything would get wrapped up in this person. This too will pass. 

To the overwhelmed health care workers writing to me about stress, anxiety, and how to manage teams that don’t have enough of anything: I am so sorry. I am honored that you thought of me and I wish I knew something smart and useful to tell you. I think: Trust your training. Feel your feelings. Be honest with your team and with your patients. Be incredibly gentle with yourself. Find and use whatever small rituals, pleasures, and caring acts that keep you grounded. You are doing the best you can.This isn’t happening because you are too neurodivergent, too introverted, too awkward, not good enough at team-building or morale-boosting, or because you can’t think of the right words at the right time. I’m going to raise all the hell I can to get you what you need (while also staying home). 

I am as scared of dying and of losing people as anyone. But what’s more terrifying to me than any illness is watching people with money and power make selfish, cruel decisions and try to displace their fears onto those they see as disposable. Ask yourself, “who do I want to be, now, and when this is over?” This is the time to engage in mutual aid with our neighbors and  fight eugenics, fascism, xenophobia, and cruelty with the same attention we use to scrub our hands of viruses.

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MUSIC:

you get what I’m saying

I love the Ladies:

AND IN QUARANTINE:

Now three other Bruce Cockburn songs, it’s my fuckin newsletter:

I came late to his “Pacing the Cage” but SHIT IS THAT REAL RIGHT NOW:

I am confident this song will never be dated, because we keep getting fooled again:

I personally just love The Who:

Why is this so good? No one knows:

Upbeat breakup songs are great, this may be the best that isn’t Teddy Pendergrass:

This not a particularly upbeat breakup song but Tori, let’s hear it:

The chyron, of course, demands more of The Clash (I too, can no longer shop happily):

Madonna gave us so many songs of the summer, this one is for my beloved friends Amelia and Anna:

This is my “it’s spring!” song, always:

One of the best bluegrass songs of all time:

Cue tears:

Now I want to play some of Laurie Anderson’s “Strange Angels” album, which is one of my favourite presents from my dad, who had the vinyl, because my dad invented “I had it on vinyl”:

The entire album is batshit perfection, AND it’s her most commercial work:

I can karaoke this one, anyone can:

One day, my friends:

Ah, yes. This:

Oh, MORE THE SMITHS?

Morrissey is a personal disaster but this song is…the best:

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Oh, wow. Wow. Your hair is getting so long, but it looks amazing on you. Personally, I think the leggings really help you pull off your whole look. Is anyone putting on way, way too much eye makeup, just for the hell of it? I’m not, because I ran out of eye makeup remover. These things happen. You’re doing great. I love you. Things could still be worse, and they absolutely will be, but think of how much those of us who survive will enjoy telling our bored grandchildren about The Great Suffering Times while we drink our daily allotment of mostly-clean water like in Mad Max: Fury Road. You’re great at sex. Or you’re asexual, and you’re great at that. Amazing work, either way. Seriously, my hat is off to you.

Love,

nicky