Good Monday, My Darlings

let us be together now

I had a really nice weekend up at the cabin with the fam, it was cool and rainy and a lovely chance to snuggle up under blankets and read. I wish you had all been there with me. It was also likely good to have two days where I didn’t watch a series of horror movies, although I did cheat and watch Apartment 143 on my phone. It was excellent. We also finally watched Dark Phoenix, which was fine.

Today’s Featured Pet of the Day is Annabel Lee:

Her human companion, Elyssa, reports the following: “Annabel is a tiny werewolf who is afraid of the world around her, but we’re working on it! I adopted her from a bad home environment and she’s come a long way since then, but has retained her strong belief that men are going to murder us at any moment.  She loves having visitors (obviously only ladies) to the apartment because she’s learned that if she’s a good girl people will let her snuggle with them for hours on end.”

“Annabel loves listening to weird sounds and her favorite song is the default Iphone ringtone. She likes to hop around and dance and pounce excitedly every time she hears it, whether it’s in real life or through the TV. She loves to make beds out of the big couch pillows and sleeps on my pillow while I’m gone during the day. She is the very goodest girl there is.”

Thank you so much, Elyssa & Annabel!

My Friday column was a true labor of love:

Dear Care and Feeding,

I cannot listen to the new Taylor Swift album anymore. My 14-year-old son plays it constantly, in the car, in his room, while wandering through the living room. (Yes, he’s gay. This is not relevant, just hoping to stave off guessing from the peanut gallery.)

I just cannot go on until he picks a new album.

—Not a “Lover”

Dear NaL,

Have we fallen through time? It’s called headphones. Get some. Tell him it’s a mandatory gift.

Also, in the car, the driver gets to pick the music. I recommend Carly Rae Jepsen or Lizzo or Jenny Lewis or Kacey Musgraves. See if you can wean him off gradually.

This made my day. Thank you.

I don’t think you’re an asshole, but I do think that you need to find ways to communicate more healthily with your wife. There’s a world of difference between saying “you’re a hypocrite” and “considering our own past, it seems hypocritical for us to react to this in an aggressive fashion”:

My wife and I have just found out our daughter is sexually active with her bf at only 16 yrs of age, My only concern is that they're practicing safe sex. My wife on the other hand is not happy about this, she thinks she should be 18 before having sex. I think this is ridiculous considering we've been together since we were in our teens and our first time having sex was when we were 16 as well.

I called her out on this and she is currently not speaking to me/pretty upset with me because apparently it's not the same at all. Even though I know for a fact we were idiots and didn't use protection (we got extremely lucky and she didn't get pregnant but still) Who's in the wrong here?

lol nice try racist mom:

I'm 17, he is 18, and we live in Indiana. My mom doesn't like the fact that I'm dating someone who's black. She recently found out we've been dating for awhile and told me if she really wanted, she could charge him with rape. I don't know if this is true, I know I'm older than the age of consent but I'm still a minor and he's not.

dump him:

I work in game development. In a relatively large, popular, professional game company. However, usually in gaming companies, things are very relaxed, familiar, and the rules are much less strict than in perhaps many other workplaces - perhaps also because the employees tend to be pretty young. Which is something I specifically enjoy about it.

Well my BF of 5 years has increasing problems with it. I worked in a game company when we met and it didn't seem like a problem at first. Later I left that company and started to work in 'normal' software development, which he seemed glad about and commented on how I am finally doing a 'serious, respectable' job now. It seemed half like a joke but rubbed me the wrong way, but I didn't say anything.

So it turned out that I really really didn't like that job, specifically because it was so boring and people were grumpy and never talked to each other. And after 3 more years I recently finally managed to get back into game development and am really happy again. However again it comes with an environment that offers many afterwork activities, team events, etc with pretty young coworkers. It is mainly one evening in the week where I stay at work and there's something like karaoke or a 'pub quiz' or something like that happening, plus a few big company parties throughout the year. It does also usually include alcohol, I won't lie. I realise this would be bizarre in other companies but here it's just quite normal. I personally make sure to not go beyond 'slightly tipsy' most of the time. I probably also won't go every time forever, but since I just started there it's a great way to get to know more people and my team especially.

He doesn't like it, and has commented on how unprofessional my company must be, and the whole game business in general, and how immature it is to get drunk with your coworkers afterwards. He says he doesn't understand how I can sing karaoke and drink beers with a team lead for example. I think it's great that this is possible, and so far it has worked out just fine. He has even said this will damage my career if I ever move on to something more 'professional'. However I've made it pretty clear that I aim to stay in game development and if that isn't possible then at least I would always aim for something creative and laid-back.

I should clarify that he hasn't ever said he thinks I could cheat, and I never would, but I think maybe that's the issue behind his dislike? I have also thought that maybe he could be a bit jealous, because his job is way more formal and strict. Idk. Maybe it's just a difference of our viewpoints. I've always been more laid back and fun-oriented than him. But now it is really starting to become an issue.

Oh, I watched REC after my dad told me to, and it’s one HELL of a horror movie. Some shaky cam, which I know is a no-go for plenty of you, but it’s Spanish and it rules. The sequels are all terrible.

Oh, boy, if you live with someone and rescue 23 pets and they wig out about it, it’s better to have a compromise than to lord the fact he’s not paying rent over him. The answer may well be to break up, but no, you’re not behaving tremendously well here:

For context, I own the house I live in. I work from home and I own a business- I am completely able to take care of the animals I adopt by myself. My boyfriend and I started dating 4 years ago and moved in together 2 years ago. I have always been wealthy, but very good with my money. When we started dating I made sure to let him know I have no self-control when it comes to animals in need and I would adopt any and all animals that needed me.

He lives with me rent-free. He's currently in university studying full time. He does have a job but all expenses go towards paying off his university debt. I pay a maid to come in and clean once a week. The house is completely clean all the time; the animals inside the main house do not make a mess. We have a granny flat outside that I use to keep the rest of my animals.

Recently we had a massive fight because I brought home a new pet. This would be rescue number 23. I got her from an online listing. She's an incredibly underweight female rat (about half the weight she should be) as well as a URI. She's been checked out by my vet and my vet is confident she'll be completely fine. My boyfriend got so angry at me and said he's sick of all these animals and if I didn't stop rescuing them he'd leave me.

I told him he was being unreasonable since it's my house and he doesn't see the animals all that often. He responded saying he hates rodents and he hates that I walk around with them on my shoulder constantly (along with handling other animals). He told me it's not fair to him to not tell him I got a new pet until after I got it and I told him it's none of his business what I do in my house. I told him to get the fuck out of my house until he learned some damn respect. I've done nothing but support him, but I absolutely will not budge about literally saving the lives of animals in distress. I adopt the oldest, most unwell animals I possibly can because no one else would. I work my ass off every day at work (constantly responding to emails, consulting design team, business meetings etc) to be able to provide for my pets and I'd do ANYTHING for them. I'm considering breaking up with him over this.

what a great deal:

come on:

I was at the grocery store and a bagger was wearing an Aheago hoodie (white hoodie with black and white images all over). For those not aware Aheago is an exaggerated facial expression of characters during sex, typically with rolling or crossed eyes, protruding tongue, and reddened face. The hoodie itself shows nothing obscene just the characters face but to me knowing what it was I found it inappropriate and sent a email to the corporate office. I thought about addressing it with the manager but she was an older women and I just did not feel comfortable explaining the situation to her.

I love you, each of you, very much. Let’s have a good week, eh?