So, I was listening to the episode of You Must Remember This about the infamous Barbra Streisand and Kris Kristofferson and…Jon Peters movie last night, bc I was sick, again, so I decided to watch THE MOVIE and it’s….oh, there are no words. I take that back!

Many words. No particular order.

First of all, listen to that episode, it had me honking with laughter.

I was shocked to see how much Bradley Cooper’s A Star Is Born is actively influenced by Babs and Kris (as opposed to the previous three versions of the movie). And, to be fair, it was wildly profitable, so why not?

READ ALL OF THIS bc it could be taken down any day. The Babs people think it proves why she’s so media-averse but OBJECTIVELY she and Jon Peters were a nightmare to work with and that’s just true. There’s lots of classic mid-1970s casual misogny in here, though, also I think Jon Peters was abusive to her and that gets glossed over.

Babs insisted her glorious curls be backlit in all shots to create a halo effect. Once seen, it cannot be unseen. See also, her obsession with her fingers.

Babs is an amazing singer. All her singing scenes are perfect. She and Kris have zero chemistry but whenever she’s singing you’re like “oh, I get it.”

GARY BUSEY IS IN ALMOST EVERY SCENE

Jon Peters made Kris wear a “modesty pouch” in the incredibly unerotic bathtub scene (I would have assumed that was already pretty industry standard) bc “that’s my lady under there and I don’t want your dick touching her leg.”

Babs wore only her own clothes in the movie. This was the entirely new, sexier wardrobe (I mean, a very particular kind of sexy) that Jon Peters made her buy.

Jon Peters is not on the same planet we are. Not even a little bit. Also, Jon insisted Kris’s character be reshaped to reflect HIM so instead of the canonical suicide that ends the movie he was like “I’m not a PUSSY, you need to make it look like it COULD have been an accident,” which is…a hell of a thing to think, much less say.

They have sex in only wildly uncomfortable places. I don’t mean, like, the ear, so much as sage grass and thistles, mud, etc.

When we first see Babs she is the lead singer in a girl group with two black women and the group is called…The Oreos.

It’s actually more feminist than any other version of the movie? Bc, like, it’s BARBRA, she’s not putting up with your SHIT. She PROPOSES TO HIM and says “YOU’D BE LUCKY TO HAVE ME,” which is ACCURATE. She’s also so pretty, look at her hair when they get married:

I learned SO MUCH about Kris Kristofferson as an actual person, who in addition to being v handsome and a Rhodes Scholar and an oil rig helicopter pilot and a notorious vampire killer, also wrote some of my favorite country songs of all time:

Here’s him doing “Help Me Make It Through The Night” w Rita Coolidge, his former wife:

He wrote “Me and Bobby McGee”:

And, of course, he was the man who handed the PERFECT “Sunday Morning Coming Down” to Johnny Cash:

But, you know, it’s all about Babs in this movie, who was also terrible at lip-synching so all of the concert scenes are her singing live, which is…bananas:

But like she has NO BAD SONGS IN THIS MOVIE? Also, objectively a great pantsuit (did I mention she is singing live???):

It’s not a good movie at all but I am very glad I finally watched it.

I hope you are happy and not sick.

I love you very very much,

Nicole

P.S. The reason I started down this whole thing is because I was listening to Ray Scott’s “My Kind of Music” which I am in love-hate with bc he tries to shit on liking Whitney Houston as a sign of BAD taste in music. Which is RIDICULOUS. But the rest of the song is fun, and he and I DO have very similar taste in great country music. But also I assume he voted for Trump on the basis of that line, which was written back in 2005, bc I hold grudges and make assumptions. Anyway, Kris is referenced: