I want to go back to Canada, this is not my home, but I have an American husband and three American children and I have been here since 2001 and I also don't want to get driven out.
My oldest nephew survived the Marshall County High School shooting in Benton KY in 2018. My family lived in DeKalb during the 2008 NIU shooting.
We don't have the luxury of being afraid or sad or of thinking that other science-based, proven methods for reducing gun violence (and access) won't work. Paralysis and nihilism, in practice, are apathy. Listen to the survivors as they lead. Reinforce their work, lift their voices, give generously, pray without ceasing, and vote like a motherfucker. Sublimate your anxiety and fear and grief into action. That is the only way forward.
BUT. Most importantly: Don't own guns-- especially not out of something as weak as fear-- and don't be complicit in the ownership of ANY guns.
The "good guys" had guns this weekend and in countless weekends exactly like this one; the bad guys with guns still took lives. Even the best trained citizens are ineffective in stopping people using weapons designed for mass killings in taking lives. Access to guns only increases access to guns and your gun is FAR more likely to be used against your or stolen and used against someone else than it is to protect you. Guns do not protect you or anyone else, not in your home, not in an operating theater (what the actual fuck), and not in a public space.
Is anyone else just down on the future in general? It seems like nothing ever changes and at this point it never will. Everything is equal measures of horrifying and stagnant.
I also work in a tough field (environmental law) and some days I'm so fired about about all the things I get to do and the people who I can hold accountable but on days like today all of my work is just a reminder of how much we've already messed up this beautiful world of ours and how little can actually be done to fix it.
I am exhausted and I want things to be better, somehow. I love you all.
My mother has turned into an honest to goodness Anarchist at the age of 68. She believes it can't be fixed and it should all be burned down.
I have been turning to prayer. Although it is not necessarily a comfort, it does give me space and a set time to wrangle with what's going on. Whether it be yelling or crying. It has helped in not feeling like my whole day is poisoned.
Everywhere we go, I consider the likelihood of being shot. I hate it. The power went out for a few minutes at church yesterday, and my first thought was "someone cut the power so they could come in and shoot us." (Completely irrelevant, since it was mid day and there was plenty of light from the windows, but that's paranoia this country has created in me.) The president says if you don't like it you can leave. But I can't. We can't. I hate it.
I have no idea what effective solutions are. We don’t own guns because I know they won’t keep us safe and are in fact likely to do us harm (accidents, suicide etc). I don’t want them in my house and I don’t believe people should have the ease of access they have but I also don’t see how changing that access will be a one stop solution. It feels like such a systemic illness that scares me and makes me feel really nihilistic - which is always a bad place to be.
I have wondered if living in a more rural area in the U.S. and trying not to spiral with the barrage of bad news is the option for me... do I bury my head in the sand? It’s so overwhelming I don’t know how to keep doing life, when every day brings more sorrow than the last.
Speaking as your lefty survivalist friend, if anybody needs talked through things like prepping or gun ownership or self defense, I am happy to be the guy who can help you figure that out that does not have SS tattoos on his neck. I wrote a little book that I’d self published on Amazon (then took it down to work on it more then ran out of free time) and I’ll just send you the PDF.
The world is frightening (and frightened), and things are objectively awful, so I really treasure good Twitter content - and this is just obviously a Nicole line, too, so.... https://twitter.com/moorehn/status/1158159901522309120
I feel that I DO understand the United States as it currently is, having invested a horrific amount of time and energy into doing so because I hate not understanding, and I don't know if it's better or worse, understanding and knowing there's absolutely nothing to do about it.
Like you, I have a twisted coping mechanism, and mine is thinking a lot about the end of the world. I think about it all the time, with a strange and strangely comforting certainty that it isn't far off. I don't have children and don't plan to, so the thought isn't as upsetting to me as it should be, I guess. Perversely, it is the only thing that allows me to give myself permission to be happy.
I want to go back to Canada, this is not my home, but I have an American husband and three American children and I have been here since 2001 and I also don't want to get driven out.
My oldest nephew survived the Marshall County High School shooting in Benton KY in 2018. My family lived in DeKalb during the 2008 NIU shooting.
We don't have the luxury of being afraid or sad or of thinking that other science-based, proven methods for reducing gun violence (and access) won't work. Paralysis and nihilism, in practice, are apathy. Listen to the survivors as they lead. Reinforce their work, lift their voices, give generously, pray without ceasing, and vote like a motherfucker. Sublimate your anxiety and fear and grief into action. That is the only way forward.
BUT. Most importantly: Don't own guns-- especially not out of something as weak as fear-- and don't be complicit in the ownership of ANY guns.
The "good guys" had guns this weekend and in countless weekends exactly like this one; the bad guys with guns still took lives. Even the best trained citizens are ineffective in stopping people using weapons designed for mass killings in taking lives. Access to guns only increases access to guns and your gun is FAR more likely to be used against your or stolen and used against someone else than it is to protect you. Guns do not protect you or anyone else, not in your home, not in an operating theater (what the actual fuck), and not in a public space.
Is anyone else just down on the future in general? It seems like nothing ever changes and at this point it never will. Everything is equal measures of horrifying and stagnant.
I also work in a tough field (environmental law) and some days I'm so fired about about all the things I get to do and the people who I can hold accountable but on days like today all of my work is just a reminder of how much we've already messed up this beautiful world of ours and how little can actually be done to fix it.
I am exhausted and I want things to be better, somehow. I love you all.
My mother has turned into an honest to goodness Anarchist at the age of 68. She believes it can't be fixed and it should all be burned down.
I have been turning to prayer. Although it is not necessarily a comfort, it does give me space and a set time to wrangle with what's going on. Whether it be yelling or crying. It has helped in not feeling like my whole day is poisoned.
Everywhere we go, I consider the likelihood of being shot. I hate it. The power went out for a few minutes at church yesterday, and my first thought was "someone cut the power so they could come in and shoot us." (Completely irrelevant, since it was mid day and there was plenty of light from the windows, but that's paranoia this country has created in me.) The president says if you don't like it you can leave. But I can't. We can't. I hate it.
I have no answer either. I love you all, that's all I can do right now.
Nicole, thank you for being honest.
Thank you for your love.
I have no idea what effective solutions are. We don’t own guns because I know they won’t keep us safe and are in fact likely to do us harm (accidents, suicide etc). I don’t want them in my house and I don’t believe people should have the ease of access they have but I also don’t see how changing that access will be a one stop solution. It feels like such a systemic illness that scares me and makes me feel really nihilistic - which is always a bad place to be.
I have wondered if living in a more rural area in the U.S. and trying not to spiral with the barrage of bad news is the option for me... do I bury my head in the sand? It’s so overwhelming I don’t know how to keep doing life, when every day brings more sorrow than the last.
Speaking as your lefty survivalist friend, if anybody needs talked through things like prepping or gun ownership or self defense, I am happy to be the guy who can help you figure that out that does not have SS tattoos on his neck. I wrote a little book that I’d self published on Amazon (then took it down to work on it more then ran out of free time) and I’ll just send you the PDF.
The world is frightening (and frightened), and things are objectively awful, so I really treasure good Twitter content - and this is just obviously a Nicole line, too, so.... https://twitter.com/moorehn/status/1158159901522309120
I feel that I DO understand the United States as it currently is, having invested a horrific amount of time and energy into doing so because I hate not understanding, and I don't know if it's better or worse, understanding and knowing there's absolutely nothing to do about it.
Like you, I have a twisted coping mechanism, and mine is thinking a lot about the end of the world. I think about it all the time, with a strange and strangely comforting certainty that it isn't far off. I don't have children and don't plan to, so the thought isn't as upsetting to me as it should be, I guess. Perversely, it is the only thing that allows me to give myself permission to be happy.
<3333
Same, except 4 kids. I am seriously considering "going back where I came from"