I had been busily getting EXTREMELY INTO the Silver Jews and Purple Mountains the last two weeks and my heart is David Berman and I am so sorry for his actual loved ones.
Hi everyone!! I was a contestant on Jeopardy this week! I know that someone else said they got the call as well so if they're around and they (or anyone really) want to know how the experience (not the questions/results of course!) let me know!
Spoiler: IT WAS REALLY FUN. EVERYONE SHOULD TRY IT.
MY BABY IS MOBILE. She can’t crawl yet but can string a few rolls together and also can scoot backwards. Guess it’s finally time to baby proof! Also poor girl is getting her six month shots tomorrow. She’s always so happy and delightful so when she gets upset (as when she gets shots) it’s especially hard for us.
I am unemployed and going to college and I had this workshop on campus I needed to got to yesterday for my unempliyment. It's a pretty popular community college in the area.
The large room was packed full of immigrants learning about all the awesome programs WA state offers to get a 2 year degree. Some of the grants are specifically for undocumented students. The person giving the workshop talked about how over 100 languages are spoken of campus and how they value the immigrant community.
So much hate in this country, but in that room was nothing but hope.
'"I was like, ‘What do you mean? He’s a boy. He should just do all these things that I do,’” Brady said, expressing his narrow understanding of gender roles.' MWA.
Is it bad that I was genuinely surprised that Men's Health included this sentence in their profile? Like it's not a super nuanced take, obviously, but they very clearly point out that Gisele outearns the great Tom Brady IN ADDITION to taking care of their kids, which I did not expect!
"While Brady is watching untold hours of game film and focusing on squeezing out yet another winning season, Bündchen is nurturing and protecting their brood and outearning him some years and showing up on game days to cheer him on."
I don’t have or intend to have kids, but I love reading Care & Feeding and always wonder, do people ever actually send updates? Are the updates generally positive? Some of the letters will pop into my head every once in awhile and I get curious (/nosy).
last night, I finally saw the Oklahoma! That Fucks and am thrilled to confirm it does indeed fuck. It was one of the most overwhelmingly good things I’ve experienced in a long time and I can’t think of anything else. (Also, Patrick Vaill’s single tear during Pore Jud is Dead did things to me.)
I've been unemployed since May (after being told in March my contract wouldn't be renewed) and the interview process has been a DISASTER, as some of y'all maybe remember from my comment here last week? WELL, I've just found out I'm being considered for kind of my dream job and am interviewing for it next week. I told the hiring person about my crazy anxiety, sent her a note from my therapist explaining my situation, and she's giving me the opportunity to talk with her via phone on Monday to ask questions about the position (and maybe the interview? dunno).
So, what questions should I ask that might make me less nervous for the actual interview itself, which will be on either Tuesday or Wednesday? It's a library outreach coordinator position, if that helps. I just really want this job, you guys, and I have been in despair for sooooo long now and this is the kind of job that could really make my life better. Help/good vibes/prayers etc. are much appreciated.
I am so frustrated. Our babysitter (who I need in order to work part-time) no-showed yesterday and hasn't responded to texts or phone calls. We just hired her nine weeks ago after our last babysitter quit (with one day notice). I feel like I am going to have to quit work because I can't find a reliable sitter for the small number of hours we need per week.
I was in a car accident on my lunch break Wednesday where I got t-boned in an intersection by someone running a red light. It was so scary!! But the police and paramedics were great and a nice lady named Jackie stopped and held my hand while I cried waiting for them to get there and helped me find my glasses that had flown off. And my work fam has been really supportive and understanding and my boss even offered to bring me and my husband food. My bff brought food and wine and a new lil plant baby?! Anyway. Don’t run red lights, kids. And thank God for airbags because I am just bruised and nothing broken but my arm at least would have been broken had the airbag not deployed. Crazy and awful experience, but I took two days off work and then tomorrow starts a week long vacation, so it’ll all be fine by the time I go back. 💚
I'm hosting a personal finance class this weekend for late high schoolers/early college students and I would love to get your ideas of what would have been good for you to know around that age! So far we're talking about budgeting, credit cards, student loans, car loans (and how to buy a car feat. Nicole's post from The Toast), renting your first apartment, and types of savings/investment accounts.
I'm also planning on posting my cell phone number at the front of the room so people can text me questions they don't want to ask in front of others. Does that sound like an okay idea?
A few weeks ago I shared that I was super down about no one funding my women's health PhD research. So this is just to say that on Monday I found out that I GOT FUNDING!!! So excited, and appreciate so much the support I got on here, it really meant the world and you're definitely getting a thesis acknowledgement in like 3 years' time.
My husband lost his job yesterday and I'm heartbroken for him. And I just don't know what to do. He works in such a specialized field and the situation has taken up every aspect of our lives. I know there isn't anything I can do really, other than be supportive, but I miss my old life.
Hey y’all. My mentor and much more senior partner at my job quit unexpectedly today, with no warning and no farewell. I’m still so much in shock and so numb that I don’t know what I’m feeling or what to do next. I’m going to have to cover both our jobs for the next 10-12 months (our hiring process is slllooow) until we can hire someone new and the weight of that is daunting to contemplate.
I need a hug and for someone to tell me it’s all going to be okay.
I feel like there's a lot of tough things happening in here this week so let's have a book thread since it always cheers me up to hear about good books. I'll start us off!
I'm currently about 2/3 of the way through my yearly reread of the Silmarillion and naturally I'm loving every second of it as much as I always do. Even the parts that in the past always felt like a slog (looking at you, Turin) I find easier and more enjoyable to get through every time. I'm thinking I may try to actually reread the whole main LotR trilogy after this, which I've actually only done maybe once or twice, though I've seen the movies a zillion times.
I've also been burning through Killers of the Flower Moon for my work book club. We just did a heavy non-fiction last month (Bad Blood) so I was kind of annoyed everyone picked another but its. So. Good. The hardest part has been not reading up on the case, which I knew absolutely nothing about previously, before I finish the book.
What books are you all reading/enjoying/wanting to recommend to everyone?
Are any of the Cliffe Wives obsessed with Six the Musical yet? Coming to broadway in 2020. The soundtrack SLAPS and the costumes are drool worthy. I am trying to figure out how to see it live.
It's looking like I'll finally have to get my wisdom teeth out after putting if off for ages and hoping they would just... be fine. But they are not fine and are instead sideways and also getting cavities that could spread to the molars so out they must come.
I'm a little nervous about the procedure (even though it's not even scheduled yet but I have a consultation with the oral surgeon later today) because I don't love the idea of being put under. But I'm mostly just annoyed at my slightly younger self for not doing it while on my parents insurance, and annoyed that I'll likely have to take time off work for the recovery. Bleh.
It's only a few month contract, so I gotta keep applying to other jobs but it sounds super cool, will be great experience and there's potential it'll get extended.
I took a practice LSAT with about one (1) day of preparation and did pretty okay, better than I thought I would! Also, if anyone has any LSAT/law admissions tips or thoughts, I'd love to know them!
Is it supremely obnoxious to share a thing I wrote? I’m actually pretty proud of it. It’s on getting through severe depression with Ect- https://link.medium.com/q1pmeph60Y
One of my friends mentioned they went to library school in Canada and I’d been contemplating getting an MLIS and doing it in america’s hat would be an adventure so now it’s a thing I’m discussing with my partner because my life is strange but I am blessed.
I'm pregnant with my first, currently in the first weeks of my second trimester, and I'm surprised by how anxious I feel, like, all the time. I've dealt with mild to moderate anxiety my whole life and have been through enough therapy that I feel (or, at least felt) equipped to handle it competently, but this is a whole new beast I don't quite know how to deal with. All my usual tools aren't doing the job. Any tips or calming things to read for an already-anxious lady struggling with pregnancy anxiety on top of it all?
My daughter's school is doing a back to school pool party tonight that, she wants to attend (but her father and I desperately DON'T want to) and I thought of the care and feeding column where Nicole was like "ah, you gotta do their dumb stuff" but surely there is an exception for public pools?? 🤢 Anyway, we promised to take her to Bahama Bucks instead ("and go inside?" she demanded, so smart) so everyone is happy.
I've been getting into Chvrches because of my stay in London with my friend Leisha but I still need to get hold of all that music and go through it. So slow.
Hey Cliffe Wives, I'm moving internationally to Europe in three weeks and if anyone has any advice, I'm going to miss the luxurious pleasures of cold brew coffee and Trader Joe's and cushy toilet paper, and making friends in a new city seems really daunting, and I really need to learn better French. Any Cliffe Wives along the Riviera?
Soooo, does anyone know of a good dog behaviorist or positive trainer on the east-ish side of LA? I got my first ever puppy about two months ago and she is smart and ridiculous and the best, but gets over-excited really easily during play and on walks and ends up going after my feet and hands pretty hardcore, and has recently started combining jumping with nipping. I’ve met with two dog trainers who didn’t really observe the behaviors in question but did advocate physical punishment— one uses shock collars and wanted me to throw toys at her, the other said he uses a riding crop. She is a little 7 pound puppy. I just don’t think we’re there yet? All the reading I’ve done on punishment talks about how it needs to be administered so precisely and specifically, and I am not experienced enough with dogs to do that.
She gets daily walks and playtime, I’ve taken her through puppy pre-school at the humane society, and she goes to puppy socialization play groups at least once a week. I don’t think she’s aggressive, I think she’s just a high energy puppy who needs some guidance and boundaries and models of correct behavior. And I need someone who can help equip me with those tools :////
I live in a house with 2 other women. We are asking 1 roommate to move out as our lease is up. There are general compatibility issues and she's frequently been frustrated with us simply existing in the house with her and has said multiple times that doesn't want to live here much longer. All of this makes me nervous to sign another year long lease with her. When we suggested she leave she denied ever being unhappy or saying she wanted to leave. It's like a weird break up... It's honestly a shitty situation for all and now it's dragging out and making me so miserable.
My dogs were skunked this week, and I stupidly let them in the house in my haste to get them away from the skunk. Now the dogs have been cleaned and actually smell good, but the house! It is funky fresh. Any recommendations on airing out a house of skunk smell?
David Berman might be the last remaining artist whose death had the power to absolutely break my heart. I was so looking forward to seeing him again later this month. This was a rough weekend.
Makeup advice please! I want to look fabulous for pictures at my sister’s wedding next month. I’ve followed a lot of Nicole’s amazing skincare advice, and usually just wear a little bbcream and powder, and I get shiny by afternoon. Is primer a thing I should try? What’s a good face powder that lasts with no flashback? Help!
My husband fell in love with David Berman and the Silver Jews' music in college - he says he used to leave parties early just to go home and listen to them. He has a ticket for a Purple Mountains show next week. He's heartbroken and I don't know what to say to him about it.
Does anyone have any suggestions of eco friendly toys or charities that can be fun for a girl about to turn 5? I just spent some time with my niece and the amount of plastic she churns through was upsetting - not her fault. She doesn’t understand the earth is melting. But her birthday is coming up and I don’t just want to get her something that she’ll lose interest in and toss aside. Any fun animal adoptions that will send her updates through out the year? Or toys made out of recycled materials?
So how do we feel about Tessa and Scott? (I’m Team Tessa, obviously. If they aren’t engaged to each other, it’s because she wasn’t interested. Unless it was always all just an act!?!)
Hi everyone!! I was a contestant on Jeopardy this week! I know that someone else said they got the call as well so if they're around and they (or anyone really) want to know how the experience (not the questions/results of course!) let me know!
Spoiler: IT WAS REALLY FUN. EVERYONE SHOULD TRY IT.
This Rob Sheffield piece on David Berman destroyed me (Rob wrote "Love Is a Mix Tape" which is one of the best grief memoirs ever written): https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-features/remembering-david-bermans-wild-kindness-869252/
I saw RANDOM LYRICS from Purple Mountains and was like "now I am obsessed with this beautiful soul" and he's gone and I'm so sad for everyone.
Bended knee, honeymoon
Nursery, another soon
Into my mind, the thought begins to seep
If no one's fond of fucking me
Maybe no one's fucking fond of me
Yeah, maybe I'm the only one for me
Gisele is definitely the brains of that operation.
MY BABY IS MOBILE. She can’t crawl yet but can string a few rolls together and also can scoot backwards. Guess it’s finally time to baby proof! Also poor girl is getting her six month shots tomorrow. She’s always so happy and delightful so when she gets upset (as when she gets shots) it’s especially hard for us.
I am unemployed and going to college and I had this workshop on campus I needed to got to yesterday for my unempliyment. It's a pretty popular community college in the area.
The large room was packed full of immigrants learning about all the awesome programs WA state offers to get a 2 year degree. Some of the grants are specifically for undocumented students. The person giving the workshop talked about how over 100 languages are spoken of campus and how they value the immigrant community.
So much hate in this country, but in that room was nothing but hope.
'"I was like, ‘What do you mean? He’s a boy. He should just do all these things that I do,’” Brady said, expressing his narrow understanding of gender roles.' MWA.
LET HIM HAVE A WELL!
Hi! It's my birthday today (37). That is all.
Is it bad that I was genuinely surprised that Men's Health included this sentence in their profile? Like it's not a super nuanced take, obviously, but they very clearly point out that Gisele outearns the great Tom Brady IN ADDITION to taking care of their kids, which I did not expect!
"While Brady is watching untold hours of game film and focusing on squeezing out yet another winning season, Bündchen is nurturing and protecting their brood and outearning him some years and showing up on game days to cheer him on."
I don’t have or intend to have kids, but I love reading Care & Feeding and always wonder, do people ever actually send updates? Are the updates generally positive? Some of the letters will pop into my head every once in awhile and I get curious (/nosy).
last night, I finally saw the Oklahoma! That Fucks and am thrilled to confirm it does indeed fuck. It was one of the most overwhelmingly good things I’ve experienced in a long time and I can’t think of anything else. (Also, Patrick Vaill’s single tear during Pore Jud is Dead did things to me.)
I've been unemployed since May (after being told in March my contract wouldn't be renewed) and the interview process has been a DISASTER, as some of y'all maybe remember from my comment here last week? WELL, I've just found out I'm being considered for kind of my dream job and am interviewing for it next week. I told the hiring person about my crazy anxiety, sent her a note from my therapist explaining my situation, and she's giving me the opportunity to talk with her via phone on Monday to ask questions about the position (and maybe the interview? dunno).
So, what questions should I ask that might make me less nervous for the actual interview itself, which will be on either Tuesday or Wednesday? It's a library outreach coordinator position, if that helps. I just really want this job, you guys, and I have been in despair for sooooo long now and this is the kind of job that could really make my life better. Help/good vibes/prayers etc. are much appreciated.
I am so frustrated. Our babysitter (who I need in order to work part-time) no-showed yesterday and hasn't responded to texts or phone calls. We just hired her nine weeks ago after our last babysitter quit (with one day notice). I feel like I am going to have to quit work because I can't find a reliable sitter for the small number of hours we need per week.
David Berman dying was just, like, the awful capper to a truly ugly week (I live in Dayton)
I was in a car accident on my lunch break Wednesday where I got t-boned in an intersection by someone running a red light. It was so scary!! But the police and paramedics were great and a nice lady named Jackie stopped and held my hand while I cried waiting for them to get there and helped me find my glasses that had flown off. And my work fam has been really supportive and understanding and my boss even offered to bring me and my husband food. My bff brought food and wine and a new lil plant baby?! Anyway. Don’t run red lights, kids. And thank God for airbags because I am just bruised and nothing broken but my arm at least would have been broken had the airbag not deployed. Crazy and awful experience, but I took two days off work and then tomorrow starts a week long vacation, so it’ll all be fine by the time I go back. 💚
Here's a David Berman poem Jeff McDaniel shared on facebook:
Walking through a field with my little brother Seth
I pointed to a place where kids had made angels in the snow.
For some reason, I told him that a troop of angels
had been shot and dissolved when they hit the ground.
He asked who had shot them and I said a farmer.
Then we were on the roof of the lake.
The ice looked like a photograph of water.
Why he asked. Why did he shoot them.
I didn't know where I was going with this.
They were on his property, I said.
When it's snowing, the outdoors seem like a room.
Today I traded hellos with my neighbor.
Our voices hung close in the new acoustics.
A room with the walls blasted to shreds and falling.
We returned to our shoveling, working side by side in silence.
But why were they on his property, he asked.
I'm hosting a personal finance class this weekend for late high schoolers/early college students and I would love to get your ideas of what would have been good for you to know around that age! So far we're talking about budgeting, credit cards, student loans, car loans (and how to buy a car feat. Nicole's post from The Toast), renting your first apartment, and types of savings/investment accounts.
I'm also planning on posting my cell phone number at the front of the room so people can text me questions they don't want to ask in front of others. Does that sound like an okay idea?
A few weeks ago I shared that I was super down about no one funding my women's health PhD research. So this is just to say that on Monday I found out that I GOT FUNDING!!! So excited, and appreciate so much the support I got on here, it really meant the world and you're definitely getting a thesis acknowledgement in like 3 years' time.
My husband lost his job yesterday and I'm heartbroken for him. And I just don't know what to do. He works in such a specialized field and the situation has taken up every aspect of our lives. I know there isn't anything I can do really, other than be supportive, but I miss my old life.
Hey y’all. My mentor and much more senior partner at my job quit unexpectedly today, with no warning and no farewell. I’m still so much in shock and so numb that I don’t know what I’m feeling or what to do next. I’m going to have to cover both our jobs for the next 10-12 months (our hiring process is slllooow) until we can hire someone new and the weight of that is daunting to contemplate.
I need a hug and for someone to tell me it’s all going to be okay.
I feel like there's a lot of tough things happening in here this week so let's have a book thread since it always cheers me up to hear about good books. I'll start us off!
I'm currently about 2/3 of the way through my yearly reread of the Silmarillion and naturally I'm loving every second of it as much as I always do. Even the parts that in the past always felt like a slog (looking at you, Turin) I find easier and more enjoyable to get through every time. I'm thinking I may try to actually reread the whole main LotR trilogy after this, which I've actually only done maybe once or twice, though I've seen the movies a zillion times.
I've also been burning through Killers of the Flower Moon for my work book club. We just did a heavy non-fiction last month (Bad Blood) so I was kind of annoyed everyone picked another but its. So. Good. The hardest part has been not reading up on the case, which I knew absolutely nothing about previously, before I finish the book.
What books are you all reading/enjoying/wanting to recommend to everyone?
Are any of the Cliffe Wives obsessed with Six the Musical yet? Coming to broadway in 2020. The soundtrack SLAPS and the costumes are drool worthy. I am trying to figure out how to see it live.
It's looking like I'll finally have to get my wisdom teeth out after putting if off for ages and hoping they would just... be fine. But they are not fine and are instead sideways and also getting cavities that could spread to the molars so out they must come.
I'm a little nervous about the procedure (even though it's not even scheduled yet but I have a consultation with the oral surgeon later today) because I don't love the idea of being put under. But I'm mostly just annoyed at my slightly younger self for not doing it while on my parents insurance, and annoyed that I'll likely have to take time off work for the recovery. Bleh.
I start my first post-grad job on Monday!
It's only a few month contract, so I gotta keep applying to other jobs but it sounds super cool, will be great experience and there's potential it'll get extended.
Thanks to all who were supportive!
I took a practice LSAT with about one (1) day of preparation and did pretty okay, better than I thought I would! Also, if anyone has any LSAT/law admissions tips or thoughts, I'd love to know them!
Is it supremely obnoxious to share a thing I wrote? I’m actually pretty proud of it. It’s on getting through severe depression with Ect- https://link.medium.com/q1pmeph60Y
One of my friends mentioned they went to library school in Canada and I’d been contemplating getting an MLIS and doing it in america’s hat would be an adventure so now it’s a thing I’m discussing with my partner because my life is strange but I am blessed.
I'm pregnant with my first, currently in the first weeks of my second trimester, and I'm surprised by how anxious I feel, like, all the time. I've dealt with mild to moderate anxiety my whole life and have been through enough therapy that I feel (or, at least felt) equipped to handle it competently, but this is a whole new beast I don't quite know how to deal with. All my usual tools aren't doing the job. Any tips or calming things to read for an already-anxious lady struggling with pregnancy anxiety on top of it all?
My daughter's school is doing a back to school pool party tonight that, she wants to attend (but her father and I desperately DON'T want to) and I thought of the care and feeding column where Nicole was like "ah, you gotta do their dumb stuff" but surely there is an exception for public pools?? 🤢 Anyway, we promised to take her to Bahama Bucks instead ("and go inside?" she demanded, so smart) so everyone is happy.
I've been getting into Chvrches because of my stay in London with my friend Leisha but I still need to get hold of all that music and go through it. So slow.
Hey Cliffe Wives, I'm moving internationally to Europe in three weeks and if anyone has any advice, I'm going to miss the luxurious pleasures of cold brew coffee and Trader Joe's and cushy toilet paper, and making friends in a new city seems really daunting, and I really need to learn better French. Any Cliffe Wives along the Riviera?
Soooo, does anyone know of a good dog behaviorist or positive trainer on the east-ish side of LA? I got my first ever puppy about two months ago and she is smart and ridiculous and the best, but gets over-excited really easily during play and on walks and ends up going after my feet and hands pretty hardcore, and has recently started combining jumping with nipping. I’ve met with two dog trainers who didn’t really observe the behaviors in question but did advocate physical punishment— one uses shock collars and wanted me to throw toys at her, the other said he uses a riding crop. She is a little 7 pound puppy. I just don’t think we’re there yet? All the reading I’ve done on punishment talks about how it needs to be administered so precisely and specifically, and I am not experienced enough with dogs to do that.
She gets daily walks and playtime, I’ve taken her through puppy pre-school at the humane society, and she goes to puppy socialization play groups at least once a week. I don’t think she’s aggressive, I think she’s just a high energy puppy who needs some guidance and boundaries and models of correct behavior. And I need someone who can help equip me with those tools :////
I live in a house with 2 other women. We are asking 1 roommate to move out as our lease is up. There are general compatibility issues and she's frequently been frustrated with us simply existing in the house with her and has said multiple times that doesn't want to live here much longer. All of this makes me nervous to sign another year long lease with her. When we suggested she leave she denied ever being unhappy or saying she wanted to leave. It's like a weird break up... It's honestly a shitty situation for all and now it's dragging out and making me so miserable.
My dogs were skunked this week, and I stupidly let them in the house in my haste to get them away from the skunk. Now the dogs have been cleaned and actually smell good, but the house! It is funky fresh. Any recommendations on airing out a house of skunk smell?
So did I miss an announcement that this newsletter was going on hiatus? I just subscribed less than two weeks before it stopped?
Filming jeopardy ON MONDAY. So nervous. Send prayers and good vibes please?
David Berman might be the last remaining artist whose death had the power to absolutely break my heart. I was so looking forward to seeing him again later this month. This was a rough weekend.
I just saw this and was like "this is so Nicole!" https://twitter.com/mcmansionhell/status/1159990900698865664
Makeup advice please! I want to look fabulous for pictures at my sister’s wedding next month. I’ve followed a lot of Nicole’s amazing skincare advice, and usually just wear a little bbcream and powder, and I get shiny by afternoon. Is primer a thing I should try? What’s a good face powder that lasts with no flashback? Help!
My husband fell in love with David Berman and the Silver Jews' music in college - he says he used to leave parties early just to go home and listen to them. He has a ticket for a Purple Mountains show next week. He's heartbroken and I don't know what to say to him about it.
Does anyone have any suggestions of eco friendly toys or charities that can be fun for a girl about to turn 5? I just spent some time with my niece and the amount of plastic she churns through was upsetting - not her fault. She doesn’t understand the earth is melting. But her birthday is coming up and I don’t just want to get her something that she’ll lose interest in and toss aside. Any fun animal adoptions that will send her updates through out the year? Or toys made out of recycled materials?
So how do we feel about Tessa and Scott? (I’m Team Tessa, obviously. If they aren’t engaged to each other, it’s because she wasn’t interested. Unless it was always all just an act!?!)
Tom Brady fascinates me. He somehow found the fountain of youth and also a partner with her head on straight.