Friday! A Normal Post, Not An Open Thread

hi darlings!

I have had an…exciting…two weeks, which I hope are now drawing to a close. Your love and support has meant everything to me, and I cherish every text/tweet/email/DM I’ve gotten. Thank you. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, hang onto your innocence and you’ll be happier for it, I promise. Now, onto our Featured Pet of the Day. Please meet Grendel:

Grendel’s human companion, Haylie, reports: “My husband, Ross, is a civil engineer. In his current job, he travels all over Texas inspecting bridges. He does not love this. But last December, while inspecting a bridge in truly-the-middle-of-nowhere North Texas, Ross suddenly heard a tiny little *mewp* He looks up, and this kitten is barreling towards him. I'm pretty sure this was the happiest moment of Ross' life. The kitten was really friendly and desperately hungry, and Ross and his coworker brought him in the truck to all of the bridges they inspected that day.”

“So Ross is telling me this, and I'm waiting to hear that we're keeping the cat! We've been talking about adopting another kitten for months. But Ross isn't coming home for almost a week, and he can't take the kitten. He and his coworker dropped him off at a shelter 300 miles from our house in Austin. Reader, did I drive eleven hours round-trip the next day to secretly adopt the kitten? Did I keep that secret for an entire week even though I'm historically very very bad at that? I most certainly did.”

“We named him Grendel, after the lonely monster from Beowulf. He is a very good boy and has not yet ripped anyone's arm off. He and our other cat, Creature, are getting along remarkably well.”

Thank you so so much, Haylie! Grendel and Creature are beautiful cats and we love them.

Absolute unit, normal mug:

you are nineteen, he is ghosting you anyway, text him “this is over” and block his number:

so this started because a girl invited me out to get our nails done, as we’re almost finished she springs up on me that she has no money to pay for it. i didn’t know this before but apparently this is something she tries to do all the time, she even tried it on my bf once. long story short, she used me to get her nails done. two weeks go by and i text her and i say, “you can apple pay me $40 for the nails” and she immediately refuses to bc “i hadn’t talked to her in two weeks” which makes no sense.. she still hasn’t paid me back. but moving on she facetimed my boyfriend when i texted her for my money back and my bf immediately texts me and goes “you didn’t have to approach her like that??? you could’ve been nicer.”

but.. all i did was ask for my money back. he’s upset with me and he’s ignored me since. he’s upset bc “i shouldn’t treat his friends like that” it’s going on five days now. he refuses to answer my texts, my calls, any form of me trying to communicate he ignores. at this point it’s made me feel like complete shit and i just don’t understand what i did to deserve this. i don’t know what to do

ONE MORE absolute unit bc so sweet:


Have you ever worked somewhere rumored to be haunted? Felt a spectral tap on the shoulder as you worked late on expense reports? Heard the clank of chains over the intercom or seen the spirits of managers past in the bathroom mirror?

It’s Halloween, so let’s hear all your stories about spooky experiences at work. Share in the comment section!

To start us off, here are some of my favorites from the Halloween episode of the AAM podcast last year.

♦  “I work in a nursing home with many folks who have dementia. They live in other realities, and I’m used to residents saying weird things. However, there seems to be a trend in one area of the building where residents typically refer to ‘the little boy’ who always seems to be standing somewhere near. It’s very common for a resident to be talking to the little boy (or look like they’re talking to thin air), and it’s also common for them to ask us questions about the boy, like ‘is this your child?’ or ‘is the little boy going to come to the activity too?’, etc. It’s only in that one area of the building, but it’s with almost all of the residents who have dementia. Only one of them has a history of having visual hallucinations. It does creep me out a little bit.”

♦  “I worked at a place where when we renovated our office, they decided to replace all the walls with glass, to show we were a ‘transparent organization’ (as you can probably guess, leadership there kind of sucked). While the higher ups had frosted glass offices, most of the staff had glass, fishbowl offices with no doors. As you can imagine, we all hated when we lost our walls, particularly one guy who routinely complained about it. Well, a few months later this guy is fired (for unrelated reasons) in the worst way possible, where they did it mid-morning, and everyone saw it happen (hard to hide things in a glass office). So he had to pack up all his stuff and was escorted from the building. The next day, the glass walls of the fired guy’s office shattered. No one was near that office, no one saw anything suspicious, and we worked in a secure office so people couldn’t come in without us knowing. We never found out what happened, but I like to think that fired guy got his revenge.”

♦   “I used to work as a dispatcher for a charity clothing and toy warehouse. It was my job to close the warehouse after everyone had gone home and then finish the compliance. I cannot count the number of times that I’d be walking among the carts and all of a sudden, always simultaneously and always spontaneously, a bunch of toys in a bunch of carts would start quacking or playing creepy music or talking. Once a doll actually sat up and looked at me from the top of a garbage bag and laughed the creepiest laugh ever. I felt like I was in the first scene of a Dr. Who episode and they wouldn’t even realize I was gone. Or maybe a murder doll movie.”

♦   “I work in a museum. There has always been a joke that the man the museum was named after haunted the place. Things would go missing and items in the souvenir shop would be moved. When housekeeping did a deep clean at night, they always said strange stuff would happen. Sounds, voices, etc. When the museum was renovated, we added a big-screen theater. There is a control booth with a small storage area at the top of the theater steps. There is also a tiny balcony behind the control booth where we have screens that face the main hall and that we use to advertise upcoming events, memberships, etc. Many of the security staff swear they have seen and/or experienced ghostly happenings in the control booth/storage area/balcony. One really large, muscled ex-military guy had such a frightening experience that he refused to go in the theater. He was on rounds, checked the theater, and heard sounds in the control booth. He knew the AV guy was off that day so he went up. He saw no one in the booth or the storage area, so he was checking the balcony area. He said someone shoved him and he almost fell off the balcony. There was no one in the theater besides him, but they checked the tape anyway. You could clearly see on the tap the moment he was pushed forward, but you couldn’t see what pushed him. I stay away from the theater. If the biggest security guard in the place was almost pushed off the balcony by invisible forces, I’m not chancing it.”

♦   “I used to work in an office in a manufacturing facility. There were two rows of cubicles back to back, with high walls so we couldn’t see to the other side. A coworker and I were working in one row trying to finish a project after hours, it was about 7:00 during the winter, so it was pretty dark, when we heard loud laughter. We brushed it off, thinking it was one of our coworkers, so we yelled their name. Complete silence. We quiet down and we hear a keyboard clicking, so I go check on my coworker, thinking they maybe have headphones on and can’t hear. There was no one there. Needless to say, we literally ran out of the office. The worst part is, we weren’t the only ones who heard weird laughter after hours in that office. Nobody stayed past 6:00 alone, and we often hurried up to leave in groups when we had to work late because of how freaked out we were.”

HE NEEDS TO GO IMMEDIATELY, you do not want to spend a year removing him from the shed:

I'll try to keep the backstory brief, but it's kinda convoluted. I paid this guy to mow my lawn a few times, and I guess he just kinda decided we were besties. I don't dislike him, but I'm just an introvert who likes being by myself most of the time, so usually I would brush him off when he wanted to hang out.

At one point, we randomly crossed paths while I was walking the dog, and somehow casual conversation turned to the subject of my house (which I own) having a room available, which someone could potentially stay in if they paid rent. Long story short, that didn't end up happening, and I didn't see him again for a while. He recently resurfaced, and we saw each other now and then until he told me that he was going to North Carolina. I thought that was the end of it, but of course he came back.

That brings us to six days ago, when I saw him through my window carrying an office chair, so I went out there and asked him what he was doing. His answer, as I perceived it at the time, was that he just wanted a little personal spot to kinda kick back and have some alone time away from his job or whatever (he works within walking distance of my house). So I agreed to that; partially because I'm not really good at saying no, but also partially because I don't ever use my backyard or shed, so I figured if someone else got some use out of it, why the hell not? (I did make it clear that he was not permitted to smoke weed or do anything else illegal.)

Big mistake, because one of the annoying things about this guy is, if you give him an inch, he'll take a mile. If he asks to use your bathroom, he'll come in and take a shower. And apparently, if he asks to leave a chair on your back porch, he'll take up permanent residence in your shed.

At this point, it's kind of annoying, but I do still feel bad for the guy. I still don't actually use the shed for anything (yet), and he really doesn't seem like a bad guy, he just doesn't have a great sense of boundaries. Like, he never would've even asked permission to leave the chair there if I hadn't seen him walking by and flagged him down. But he doesn't seem to understand why someone else would have a problem with that. And I'm on the autism spectrum, so I already have enough problems with not being on the same wavelength as other people. But he's not really a dick, he just operates in a different way than I do.

Anyway, the point is that I don't really want to kick him out, as long as I can clearly (and legally) define a framework that will make it harder for him to claim "squatter's rights" or whatever if I get fed up later and want him to leave then. I mentioned that to him and he seemed willing to sign something (as an alternative to me just kicking him out right now), but being as I'm not a lawyer, I don't know all the proper ways to phrase things so that it will be easier to maintain all my rights as the property owner, if he ever becomes less cooperative later.

your boyfriend is making an unreasonable request!!

So, I am 34F with 2M and 7F. I have been in a relationship with 38M and his 1 1/2M, 3M, 5M, and 6F for a little over 7 months. Our kids all know each other. The 7 and 6 year old girls are best friends (we met through them) and have been calling themselves sisters since before we even got together. It's all harmonious. Good bio parents on both sides. We feel like a family already. We are not moved together and the kids are not aware we're together past they have many playdates.

My mom passed away 12 years ago, but my dad is very active in my children's lives. He has a tradition that he takes them anywhere to the two's choosing for Christmas. Last year, they went to Disneyland and said they wanted to go to Disney for Christmas again this year. My dad is all for it.

He called me yesterday to let me know that he still planned on taking the two to Disney and was thrilled to see them soon.

My partner thinks we should ask him to take all the kids to make things fair. We are a family and grandparents can't just choose who their favourite grandkids are. The others will get jealous since his parents don't do anything but send gifts.

I'm hesitant to ask. I agree that we should make all the kids feel included and on the same level as one another, but... I feel guilty asking because I truly think that it would mean the end of the trips. My dad isn't a rich man- he makes 45k a year, he saves up all year to do these special trips. And since we live in the Midwest (he lives 15 minutes away), it's very costly to fly so many kids out, much less just taking care of them. They go for 4 or 5 days, depending. 6 kids for a 60 year old man is so many.

What do y'all think? WIBTA if I asked for this to be an exception until the kids are aware we're dating? My dad knows that we're dating, but doesn't call my partner's children his since we've not fully merged. He will love them all the same once we're married/merged together.

I love you so much right now. This is like, peak love of you. You are so good and kind and you try so hard and also it’s getting dark and if you are feeling miserable, I am so sorry. You are always in my heart, beloveds.



I Was On "Thirst Aid Kit"!!!

We discussed Stern Men and Power Femmes and if you listen until after the credits I say something wildly inappropriate about Bill Tench.

Please praise my wit and sexy voice and then tell us your current thirst object, or, if you are not a thirsty person, your fav hobby.

View 57 comments →


countdown is on

Tomorrow I am leaving to spend two nights in the Smokies with two of my dearest friends at a very fancy place. We are going to celebrate decades of friendship and sit in front of our fireplace and watch the leaves do leaf things. Also, massages. I wish you were coming. Shall we move onto our Featured Pets of the Day?

Allow me to introduce you to Cupcake the Great (bunny) and Manford (cat):

Their human companion, Brooke, notes that she may eventually submit her “other two cats, my dog, my daughter’s two gerbils, and my eldest child’s ball python for your consideration!”


“They are, much to my initial surprise, great buds, as you can see in the photos.”

“Cupcake, aka Buns, is 5 years old and has run of the upstairs. Manford, the old man (14+ years old) and polydactyl wonder cat, often seeks out Cupcake’s company—when he’s not pandering for scritches from the humans.”

“When we took home Cupcake as a wee rabbit, I initially feared the cats (we have a total of 3) might hurt him. At this point, if I didn’t know they were buds, I’d fear more for the cats—Cupcake could definitely take them all (and probably at the same time).”

Thank you so so much, Cupcake and Manford and Brooke!!!

Alison correctly identifies this reaction as a red flag. It’s not the most common question for a prospective employee to ask, but it’s absolutely valid, especially in senior roles:

The other day I had an interview with an entrepreneur who looking for a part-time assistant and who essentially runs a one-man operation. He has several contractors, but there isn’t an office where many people meet regularly, that sort of thing.

The interview went more or less okay, though he was a bit clueless — like, it took 75 minutes because he took a lot of time explaining to me background details on projects that could have waited, and he didn’t ask me many questions about my work experience. Still, I expressed interest in moving forward because it seemed like work I was well suited for, and I need the employment!

As we were wrapping up he asked me if I had any questions, and one I asked was if he was able to put me in touch with any former employees who had held this role. He totally blanched at this and was obviously extremely disconcerted. He said he had never once been asked this in 18 years of being a business owner and it felt it was extremely odd. (It seems worth nothing that it was only five years ago that he became one-man entrepreneur, and in the past he had run a bakery, which is not a context where I would have asked for this kind of reference, seeing as I could just ask to visit the bakery while it was operating and observe directly.)

He said he would think about it, and then later said he might put me in touch with his “best bud,” who has been a contractor with him for most of his 18 years running businesses. This isn’t the kind of reference I was hoping for, but I didn’t want to push back too hard.

I’ll also note that he said that this role had once been held by someone for several years, and in the interim he had gone through a few people who didn’t work out and was trying to find someone who could join long term. This seems reasonable to me, and I had initially expected he would put me in touch with the first, longer-term employee, who I thought he had ended on good terms with. Or at least explain why he couldn’t put me in touch with her! I was thrown off by how thrown off he was by the question.

Was I totally out of line for asking this? In similar close quarters, non-office settings, I have had employers offer this kind of reference up-front, and I talked to a friend who manages a business and they thought it was a normal question and a red flag that this guy was so upset. I don’t know what to make of it and wanted your opinion.


My partner's therapist posted pictures of multiple clients to their business Insta-story. Faces covered, but easily identifiable, with "endorsement" text of how therapy is helping. Partner says this photo was during a portion of session which involves wearing headphones and closing his eyes, so he didn't even know he was being photographed mid-session, much less consent to this and his feelings about a season being published on social media. 

my man…get some common sense:

Hey guys, so obligatory English's not my mother tongue, and I'm on mobile.

This happened a few days ago.

My sister is someone who litteraly loves her friends and family, and, as she has a passion for cooking, she usually cooks for us.

This morning, I woke up really tired. I didn't think so straight, you know how it is. I went to the fridge to grab something to eat. I found a cake my sister made, took a piece of it, ate it, and went to work.

Later this day, I received some furious messages from my sister : Sis: "Hey, did you eat the cake that was in the fridge?" Me: "Yes, I took a piece of it, it was good." Sis: "Are you really that dumb? You saw a cake shaped in the form of a "18" you didn't think it was for an event or anything? I baked it for my best friend's birthday, tomorrow. I don't have time to make another one. What will I tell her? That I have a fucking idiot of a brother who ate some of her cake???" Me: "hey, don't talk to me like that. How was I supposed to know? And I didn't touch the 8 part, so you can give that to her"

After that, she insulted me, told me that I ruined everything, and told me she didn't want to speak to me again. It's been a week and she really avoids to speak to me.

It pisses me off because I was tired and she never spoke to me about that birthday so really I didn't know (nor care, it's our fridge, there's food inside, everyone can eat what's inside).

So, reddit, am I the asshole?

Edit: Okay guys, I've read what you wrote. I'm the asshole, I'll try to find a way to apologize correctly.

you are the asshole:

My (18m) sister (15f) is vegetarian, and has been for years. She's the only vegetarian in the house, so she gets her food separate to us. When we go to do the food shop each week mum gives her some money and she goes off on her own while me and mum sort out the food for everyone else. One night a week she does all the cooking and makes a vegetarian dish for the whole house to eat, and the rest of the week she sometimes offers us leftovers.

Last week dad burned dinner. Everyone else went to bed and I saw my sister had made herself some veggie soup and left it on the stove. It smelled really good and as she usually offers us leftovers I figured she wouldn't miss a cup. There was probably about 2 cups of soup left in the pot, so I had a cup, and then come the next morning she's asking me if I had some of her soup, as she was planning on filling a thermos with the (apparently carefully measured out) remaining soup and that was going to be her food all day at school. I apologised again and she said "whatever, just use your common sense".

Then the end of last week I got a migraine. Migraines usually leave me chugging energy drinks and craving something salty, followed by something sweet. I went down to the kitchen, saw a bag of crisps out on the counter, and pretty much dove on them. I looked in the cupboard and found a 6 pack of mini rolls, and had 3. Not my proudest moment but I hadn't eaten in about 30 hours, and migraines really take it out of me. I stayed awake long enough to brush my teeth before crawling back into bed.

Later that morning I wake up and find that a quarter of the kitchen is labelled. I open the cupboard, and a multipack of crisps (the kind I ate) and what's left of the mini rolls all have her name on them. I text her asking what is going on. She replies "I'm sorry I had to get passive aggressive, but my food budget for the week is literally whatever cash mum has on her when we do the food shop. My meals and snacks are all portioned out. I know you had your migraine so I figured you didn't realise the food you ate was mine, but that was 3 days of snacks for me, and you ate it in one hit. Mum and dad said I should label my stuff so it didn't happen again".

Then today I had my late start at sixth form, I woke up ready to make myself some breakfast before I left, and the cereal that me and my parents share was all out. My sister buys her cereal in variety packs, so she gets several mini boxes. All of the mini boxes had my sister's name on and I knew I'd get a bollocking for it but I had no cash on me and didn't have time to make a bacon sandwich, so I just grabbed a couple of minis and had some cereal before I left the house. The boxes had her name on them. I'm in college, she's gone home for lunch, and she's texted saying "fucking really??? two boxes???"

Absolute unit:

You are being EXCEPTIONALLY responsible:

I'm 36f, mother to an 11 year old daughter. I have 50/50 split custody with my ex husband.

I'm bisexual. My ex knows this, but I've never told my daughter because it's never really come up. However, 5 months ago I met someone, a woman, and we've been seeing each other. I've not told my daughter yet and I've not introduced them, instead on the weeks she's been at her father's my girlfriend has come over, and the weeks my daughter is with me, my girlfriend stays at her place.

This is my ex husband's week with our daughter and my girlfriend and I went out to get lunch. Around halfway through my ex sees us. He doesn't seem to realise it's a date because he comes up to us and starts making conversation, giving me an update on our daughter, which is something totally normal in terms of what we normally do when we run into each other.

He asks how we know each other and my girlfriend says we're dating, which I'm fine with as we're not hiding it, but my ex asks if our daughter knows, and I tell him she doesn't. He asks how long this has been going on for and I tell him 5 months. He says that it's unfair of me to keep her in the dark and I should tell her ASAP.

He has what he calls the "2 date rule", which is that on the second date he, the date, and our daughter, all go out for a meal to introduce his girlfriend to our daughter. I'm not a huge fan of this method because what it's resulted in is him introducing our daughter to these women and then breaking up with them soon after. In the three years we've been split our daughter has met over a dozen women. He says he introduces them early on so he doesn't get into a long term relationship with someone who doesn't get on with his daughter.

I have never introduced my daughter to any of my partners since her father. I have a "six month rule" which is after 6 months, they meet. No sooner in case it doesn't work out.

This is where I probably fucked up. I said "I get where you're coming from but I wanted to be sure about [girlfriend] before introducing her to [daughter], so we don't wind up breaking up right after they meet"

My ex then looked really annoyed, bordering angry, and said "low blow" before walking off. Girlfriend looked confused so I explained to her his history with introducing women to our daughter early on, and she said "you probably could have phrased that better".

Unexpected Mulaney!

I love you so much I could burst. It’s been a weird week and you are my beloved online friends. Please treasure and treat yourselves right tomorrow and this weekend and beyond. You are so precious and special.




my darling things

Hello! I am currently watching “Trick,” which is essentially “Halloween,” and recovering from my mother’s decision to return to Canada, which is just as upsetting each time it happens.

Let’s roll in strong with our Featured Pets of the Day. Please meet Martha and Mali:

Their human companion, Amy, reports: “They come from a northern mining town where people are always moving in and moving out, so pet abandonment is very common. They were found on a winter day huddled against the engine of a car in a mall parking lot, trying to get warm.”

“Martha (photo 1, left) was tangled in the alternator belt and badly burned. Mali (photo 1, right) refused to leave her side and cuddled her until she healed. That was years ago and they’re now both healthy, happy, and still spend most of their time snuggling together.”

Amy, you are so kind to have shared Martha & Mali and their love with us. Thank you for improving all of our weeks.

lol yes you are the asshole:

I am getting married in a few weeks and have my bridal party primed and ready, but had a huge disagreement with one of them yesterday.

Her name is Tara, and she is stunning. She's legit the prettiest out of our entire group. Absolutely gorgeous. However, there is one issue. Tara has terrible vision. She needs very strong glasses and even with them on her eyesight is bad. She gets the lenses thinned down as much as possible and even then they are so thick you can't see her eyes behind them. Her eyes can't tolerate contacts.

In our ''bridal meeting'' yesterday, I asked if it was possible for Tara to take off her glasses during the main photos. I wasn't saying this to be cruel. I'd never ask her to take them off during the wedding party and walk around blind, but I'm just asking her to take them off during photos. Without those glasses she's absolutely breathtakingly beautiful, way more than me, but with them on her eyes look weird and distorted and would take all the attention away in the photos for all the wrong reasons.

I brought this up with her but she got really huffy and sulky, told me to try on her glasses so I could see what she would be seeing during the photos if she took them off. I did and it was horrible, but I could stomach it for a few minutes to help out a friend and think she's being really unreasonable. She left early and the rest of the bridal party got at me for asking something so ''horrible''. I don't think it's an unreasonable thing to ask. I'm doing her a favour. Without the glasses she'll easily be the hottest bridesmaid so I would have thought she'd be OK with it.

this is not normal or okay:

3. My coworker keeps asking for large amounts of money

I started my job in August. Every month since then, my coworker (who sits in my office with me, and it’s a two-person room) has asked me for some money. Now, if this were “Can I borrow €2 for coffee” or so, I’d be fine with it. But it’s significant amounts of money. Once she asked me to transfer her €350 as her rent needed to be paid **today** and she didn’t have it in her account.

Just today, while she has been off sick with a while, I got a message from her: “Hey, you bank with (name of institution), right?” When I told her no, I wasn’t going to give her anything as I have an expensive bill to pay already, she said, “Can’t it wait until Monday for you to pay it?” I found that particularly rude and didn’t respond.

She has also tried it with other coworkers, and has asked a coworker if she could use their car when hers was in the mechanics. However, it’s now making me really uncomfortable to work with her. How can I (gently or otherwise) knock this on the head?

I don’t think you’re an asshole but it’s your wife’s medical procedure and she can have/not have anyone there she wants:

My wife and I are expecting our first in May. We've been together 10+ with 7 of them married so naturally we've discussed all things baby, family, etc. One of the things that has come up before is the day of our little ones arrival. I've stated in no uncertain terms that I believe the only ones in the delivery room outside of medical professionals should be her and I. My wife however, has expressed that she'd like her mother to be in the room. We haven't discussed this in some time and definitely not since finding out we're expecting, but I do anticipate the topic coming around again soon.

I take issue with my MIL being there bc while she has been very supportive throughout the process (unsuccessful attempts for years followed by several rounds of IVF) I'm of the opinion that this is one of those bonding moments for us and us alone since we are the ones directly involved in this event. I'm not saying she shouldn't be at the hospital, or even come in to see her before the procedure begins - I'm fine with all of that. But when it comes time for the main event so to speak, I feel it's time for her to head to the waiting room. I want this time alone with my wife to laugh, to cry, to enjoy our child privately before they become a spectacle for everyone else.

I've learned quickly that pregnancy hormones are a very real thing, so I'm not entirely certain what to expect when this conversation happens again. So I'm wondering AITA if I stick to my guns on this one, or am I better off taking one for the team, sucking it up and letting my MIL (in my opinion) ruin the moment.

Oh, hot damn:

you need to break up, this is bad for both of you:

Hi everyone, I’m using a throwaway because my girlfriend knows my reddit account.

Me and her have been going out for approximately a year and a half now, and mostly it has been great. I feel we have a very healthy relationship and are very happy together.

However, for the past 6-9 months her mental health has been not so great. She suffers with depression and anxiety and has really low self esteem when these are bad. I try my best to support her and do what I can, but she is a very independent person and so what I can do is really limited.

The problem is that for the last 6 months or so, any time anything goes wrong in her job, family, university or between us (usually something very minor), she instantly refuses to talk to me, see me and wants to break up with me. I always tell her that that is her choice, and if she feels that she wants to then she can, but then a few days later she will go back to wanting to be in a relationship and be very loving.

I’ve tried to be understanding but it’s really beginning to become difficult for me, I can’t deal with it for much longer because it’s happening once every week or two. I really don’t want to break up with her because I love her a lot, and I would be really worried about her mental health if I did, but it’s becoming increasingly clear that it can’t go on as it is. I’m at a bit of a loss as to what to do.

Any help you guys can give would be really appreciated. Thanks.

you are being reasonable:

My family always meets up several states away at my parents' home for Christmas. This includes my older sister, who has two small children-- one of whom is only just learning to walk, and will be about 10 months come Christmas.

Our dog is a very friendly little guy. Zero aggression, not a mean bone in his body. But he gets excited very easily, and he likes to jump. With a full sized human, that isn't an issue-- you tell him "off," and he eventually calms down and gets over it. With a toddler, he tends to tackle them. This happened last year with my nephew (just shy of three) on a hard concrete surface. No serious injuries, just a scratched knee, and despite his wailing, my sister took it in stride. However, because of the fact that her daughter will be so young, that our parents' home is mostly tile, and that the dog has a track record of tackling small children, she's asked that we not bring the dog this year.

I feel that my sister is being reasonable with this request. I fear that, completely unintentionally, the dog could cause serious damage if he sees a toddler and knocks her down on a tile floor. My girlfriend feels that this is unreasonable, and very much wants to bring the dog with. She's concerned that she won't be there if something happens to him while he's kenneled up for a few days back where we live, or staying with a friend of ours.

She wants to compromise by boarding the dog near my parents' home so that we can go visit as needed, but their part of the world is relatively low in population, so services like Uber or taxis are rare and far between. I've earned her that, even if I'm doing nothing while we're down there, I'm be doing nothing with my family, and I'm not going to drive her to the kennel to play with the dog we see the other 361 days out of the year, and that my family will not loan her one of their cars to make the drive by herself. She feels that we are all being unreasonable. I feel that she's being unreasonable imposing demands upon me and my family over the holiday. AITA?

I fully stan this absolute unit:

Okay! That’s all for today. I love and squish each of you with all my heart. You are strong and capable and hot and a little messed-up and you’re going to be okay.

Love, Nicole

Friday Open Thread

I’m going on my family trip to NYC now! I am probably already awake too early, because I never sleep well before flights where I also have to control a child.

Do you have a long weekend? Today is no school bc of parent-teacher conferences and on Monday my kids’ school celebrates Indigenous Peoples’ Day, so it’s a very very long weekend ‘round these parts.


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